


Picking Up The Pieces

by fandomtrash2611



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Angst, Blue Oyster Cult - Freeform, Case Fic, Developing Relationship, Dream Sequences, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, London, Memories, Murder, Nightmares, Press and Tabloids, Scotland, SiB, Smutty, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-07-05 09:21:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 102,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomtrash2611/pseuds/fandomtrash2611
Summary: On a cold and rainy evening in late September, Robin Ellacott turns up on the doorstep of her partner and friend. From this day on, all would change for them. Tangled up in her problems with Matthew, another problem turns up: Donald Laing...Together they help the police to stop this maniac and find themselves caught up in a case full of violence, separated limbs and angst. Once this is over, they life seemed to be back at normal  - but it really isn't. Press isn't making their life easier and the Detective is heavily wrapped up in his feelings, when another case turns up and Strike's old army-friend "Hardy" asks for his help to solve a murder case in Edinburgh.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks!  
> I talked a lot about this fanfiction on my Twitter account and since my first one here didn't flop as I had feared I'm back with a bit of my current Strike fic.  
> I will post snippets of this every now and then since I'm still writing on it and had a big loss of data when my laptop broke down a while ago, please be patient with me.  
> Also this is another fic of mine without someone who had beta-read it so if you find any mistakes or typos, feel free to let me know.
> 
> The idea is based on Paloma Faith's song "Picking Up The Pieces". A fav of mine and I adore the songtext. When I was driving home from work late and listend to it, a few months back, I suddenly had the idea and writing on it ever since. If you don't know the song, go on and listen to it, it's fabulous! :) 
> 
> As always feel free to comment/ leave kudos or any ideas and maybe stop by and say hello on Twitter (@_fandomtrash_) but for now, enjoy the first few paragraphes of my work.  
> Oh and if you're interested in how it's going or some background tweeting, feel my thread about it on Twitter: https://twitter.com/_fandomtrash_/status/965179862758641664
> 
> Also I dedicate this fanfiction to my friends who always believed in me and said I should continue writing, to all the Strike-Fans, to strikefans.com for offering to post it on their website and to all the lovely people who read this, thank you so much. 
> 
> love, Y.

Strike had known that this day would come. But not this soon. It was a rainy and foggy Saturday afternoon in late September, when someone knocked at his door. He usually never got any visitors and clients called when they had any requests or questions. Confused and fresh from a shower after a long day on the streets, he headed to the door, only dressed in some old jeans and t-shirt. He rubbed his short hair dry with a small towel before he tossed it aside and opened. Confused he looked at the small and soaked figure of his assistant and partner Robin.

“I didn’t know where to go”, she mumbled and sniffed. 

Only then he saw the small bag beside her and her tear stained face. Without a word he stepped aside and gestured her in. It felt like ages since she last had been in his kitchen. The last time they had received a served leg per mail. She dried her tears with the sleeve of her pullover. 

“Please sit down”, he offered and headed to the counter. “Do you want some tea?” 

Robin nodded and he silently prepared the tea while thinking about a reason she could be here. Deep inside, he already knew why. He put one cup in front of her and also sat down, still silent. Robin picked the cup up and had a sip of tea. It was strong, as he liked it. 

“I’m sorry to bother you”, she said. “I’m sure you had plans.” 

“Oh no, I didn’t”, he said simple. “I just returned from some observation. Mr Smith was right, his wife is cheating on him. With the maid”, he said amused to distract her but apparently it had the opposite effect.

Robin looked at her hands and tried to suppress the upcoming tears but failed miserably. Strike had been right. She was here because of Matthew. Without thinking he took her hand and caressed its back with his thumb to sooth her. Immediately Robin got calmer but withdraw her hand from his soon after. Shit… This was unprofessional. Robin shouldn’t be here. Both of them knew that, but he was the only one she could go to. Her only friend in London. All her friends had been Matthew’s and they wouldn’t understand her decision. Strike instead would listen and be professional as always. Robin cleared her throat and wanted to speak but he interrupted her. 

“Are you hungry? We can go for dinner if you like.”

“I’d like that”, she said and smiled a little. 

Professional like always, she thought. 

“Excuse me for a second”, he said, picked up the towel from one of the leather armchairs and headed to a small door at the end of the room. 

Quickly he put on his shoes, a pullover and his coat before he got back to her. Without a word they left and headed to the nearby pub which was nearly deserted. She got to a small table in a quiet corner while he grabbed the drinks. This would distract her and she should eat something. With a little smile he returned to their table, carrying two pints.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the observation”, Robin apologised. “I had some things to sort out.”

“Things with Matthew?”, he then asked. “Your ring is missing.”

Robin touched the spot where her wedding and engagement rings had set not two hours ago. 

“I… It’s complicated”, she simply said and drank from her pint. 

Doom Bar, just as he liked it. Robin grabbed the menu and looked through it. How tell her boss and partner about it? How tell him about the break-up with Matthew? Mostly because they had argued about her job and Strike, like usual.

“How about some fish and chips?, he suggested.

“Sounds lovely.”

He stood up again and ordered their food. He was sure this was like the first time. Strike was sure Robin would go back to Matthew after all. But… Something told him that this was different. Carefully he looked at the young woman while waiting to place his order. She was beautiful although she looked exhausted and tried. Like him she worked up to 12 hours a day, also on the weekends. This had been their first weekend without a lot of work. Just two simple observations, one each. Yet here they were. 

“What can I get you?”, the bartender asked in a heavy Scottish accent. 

Strike ordered their food including two glasses of whiskey and returned again, handing her a glass of the golden liqueur. Thankfully she drank it in one sip and felt warmth spread in her stomach. 

“So the second observation?“, she then asked. “What did you find out?”

He told her every detail when their food arrived. Hungry Strike ate while Robin just had a few bites and looked even more miserable after his little report about the job she had been supposed to do. Robin felt bad for letting him down again. For not being able to do the job properly like she was supposed to as his partner. He, on the other hand, was sad because she was miserable and angry as hell that this prick broke her once more. 

“Ok, cards on the table”, he said. “What did happen?”

Robin hesitated and looked at her hands. Strike waited patiently and it took all his willpower to not take her hand in his again. Instead he grabbed the glass of Doom Bar and drank to distract him from his thoughts. After a few moments Robin finally spoke. 

“We had a fight. Matthew and I.”

A simple fight wouldn’t break up everything, thought Strike. There must be more to this. As if she could read his thoughts she directly looked into his dark blue eyes and continued.

“It was about you.”

“About me?”, he asked confused. 

Why were they arguing about him?

“Matthew had always been very jealous since I started working for you”, she explained. “Somehow he thinks you can be a treat for him, for our relationship and after our Scotland trip… I can’t get this silly idea out of his head that I slept with you. Just to get back at him because of what happened between him and Sarah.”

Strike was startled. What was this idiot thinking? That Robin was a cheat like him and would… He cleared his throat, ignoring the feelings he developed for his assistant over the past years and agreed on this statement.

“You’re right… This is ridiculous.”

“He argued about my job. That I was working late and on weekends and that I was different lately. Am I different Cormoran?”

Like before she looked him straight into his blue eyes and he struggled for an answer. She was for him. She was even more beautiful lately, although she – like him – didn’t get enough sleep and worked off her arse to make the agency work. But he had also seen a slight change. Something sad and incriminating. He didn’t know what it was though. He didn’t dare to ask if something had happened to her. 

“I don’t know”, he then confessed while she still waited for an answer. 

Robin seemed to be satisfied by this and continued after a big sip of beer. 

“Well… We argued about all this and when I accidentally brought up Sarah Shadlock again… He looked so guilty. He.. He confessed that he had cheated again after…”

She stopped. So something had happened with them and he had an idea what it was. All the signs had been there. The chocolate… The strange eating habits... The hurried excuses when she had ran to the loo in the morning. And then a week off. Unexpectedly. When she returned he had felt that she was different. Like usual he had ignored the signs and had shoved his thoughts in a dark corner of his mind. He didn’t allow himself to think about Robin and had respected her privacy. Now he knew and he felt sorry for her. Also this reminded him of himself.. Of the thing with Charlotte. Strike shoved this thought away easily and – ignoring what was decent – took her hand once more.

“I’m sorry Robin.”

“You know?”

“I had some suspicions but now I know… I truly am sorry. Why didn’t you say something and take some time off?”

“I needed a distraction. Sitting at home, being handled like I was fragile and would break every moment… I couldn’t do this. I once let someone else interfere in my life and change it. Not this time.”

He knew that she referred to her time at Uni. But only now he realised the things she had said about Matthew. While she had… He couldn’t believe it. He was even a huger dick than Strike first thought. His grip tightened and Robin saw the anger in his eyes when he realised what had happened with Matthew.

“Don’t…”, she simply said and he looked at her.

“He promised you he’d never do such a thing again. Am I right?” Robin nodded. “What a prick.”

“Cormoran, please…”

“Sorry.”

They stayed silent again while she thought about how to tell him what had happened further.

“I… I’m still denying that all this happened but it won’t work. I forgave him once but doing it again. After all that we’ve been through.  It’s just too much”, the young woman mumbled. “I thought we were happy. I told him that I wanted a divorce and somehow he snapped. Matthew shouted and he got really angry and…”

“He slapped you?”, Strike finished for her and looked at her reddened cheek. 

So he had been right about that too. Fucking arsehole… Robin nodded and stared crying.

“I just… I couldn’t stay. I’m sorry I went to you. I just don’t have anyone else here.”

“It’s fine”, he said soothing and handed her a paper napkin while letting go of her hand. “You can stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you Cormoran.”

He smiled his little smile he used to calm clients and assure them that he wasn’t lying. Robin was happy that he understood and that he didn’t judge her.

“Now cheer the fuck up and eat your food”, he said and it immediately made her laugh a little.

She obeyed and had some more food while he got them two more beer. 

It was late when he finally payed and brought her to his place. Robin was quite drunk and was holding to his arm while they slowly made their way back to the office. 

“You know, I always thought he was the right one”, she mumbled while they passed some tourists looking for a pub. 

“I always thought Charlotte was the one, yet here I am”, he said comforting. 

“We’re both idiots”, she giggled and bumped a bit into him. 

Oh gosh… He was very aware of how close they both were right now and that her hip sometimes brushed his. Her arm under his, her fingers buried in his coat. She smelled of flowers and he could see the visible blush on her cheeks. Probably because of the alcohol and it was a cold night after all. Without hurry they strolled to Denmark Street. For someone on the outside they might have looked like a normal couple on their way home. Strike fumbled in his coat pocket for the keys when they had reached the front door to the old and battered looking building. They could hear the music from the Jazz Club and he wondered if she could sleep tonight. After all he was used to the noises of the night life downstairs. They headed upstairs and past the office door to his small but welcoming flat. While she sat down on the kitchen chair he hurried in the bedroom and quickly changed the covers for her. He would probably sleep on the sofa or his camping bed in the other room. When he returned Robin was laying on the small sofa and was nearly asleep. He smiled and looked at her for a few moments. Her cheeks where still flushed, her breathing steady and her hair a mess. She still wore her coat and her shoes where beside the sofa. 

“C’mon off to bed”, he said and held his hand to Robin for her to take it.

“I’m fine here Cormoran”, she mumbled sleepily. “You don’t have to give up your bed. Think of your leg.”

“My leg will be fine, now come on and get up”, he ordered a bit sharper and finally Robin obeyed and sat up.

She took his outstretched hand and he guided her to his bedroom. She had never been in here. The room was small, like the rest of the flat. There was a big double bed under the window, a small wardrobe in one corner of the room and a chair with some clothes on it, in another corner. He was very tidy, she thought sleepily. 

“If you need something, I’ll be next door”, he said and headed outside. 

Strike was confused and he could feel his heart beat faster. What was all this about? She needed his help and yet here he was feeling like a school boy just because he had held her hand in his bedroom. Strike headed to the bathroom to change and put up the small camping bed he had stored in a closet. Keep it professional you idiot, he shouted at himself in his head while getting off the false leg. Tired himself he lay down in the sleeping bag and closed his eyes. He could hear Robin in the room next door. While listening to her, he finally fell asleep. 

Someone was shouting... There was a loud banging. Stop this! Soon Strike was fully awake due to the noise. Confused he realised that it was someone at his door. What the hell? He put on the prosthesis and switched on the lights when he saw Robin looking out of his bedroom.

“Cormoran? What is it?”, she also said sleepily. 

“Go back to sleep”, he ordered. “Probably just some drunk.”

“Open the fucking door!”, he heard a man shouting outside and somehow the voice was fairly familiar. 

“Oh..”, he heard Robin gasp. “It’s Matthew.”

He carefully looked at her. Robin was wearing nothing than an old t-shirt and some pants. He could see her beautiful long legs and her breasts under the light material of the shirt. 

“Open up you coward!”, Matthew shouted once more. 

Strike did and immediately saw that the other man was drunk. 

“Where is she?”, he said and got past Strike into the room. Robin still stood at the door and he could see how shocked she was by his appearance. 

After a few seconds Matthew saw his wife and headed towards her. Strike immediately stood in front of him when he saw the anxiety in Robins face.

“Get out of the way Strike!”, Matthew grumbled and pushed against his chest. “Robin we need to talk!”, he then shouted when he realised Strike wouldn’t let him pass. 

“I don’t want to talk anymore Matthew”, she said and stepped beside Cormoran. “There’s nothing to talk about! It’s over!”

Strike could hear the supressed tears in her voice and the anger. Matthew stepped forward and took her arm. 

“Don’t be childish”, he said. “It’s nothing. Please. I told you already what had happened. I was sad and devastated after you lost the baby. Sarah was there and it just happened…”

“It just happened!”, Robin screamed and pulled her arm out of his grip before she slapped him. 

Whoa… Strike needed to remind himself that it was better not to have an angry Robin against him. Matthew – now angry himself – stepped towards her again but Strike interfered this time. He got hold of the younger man’s arm.

“Don’t…”, he simply said in a dark and threatening voice. 

“Let go!”, Matthew said. “This is a business between me and my wife, so fuck off!”

Cormoran did everything not to kick him out immediately but he didn’t let go of Matthew’s arm either. 

“I told you I don’t wanna see you anymore!”, Robin said again. “I’ll grab some things the next days when you’re at work. I’ll also send you the divorce papers.”

“You gotta be kidding! A divorce just because of this? You won’t.. You can’t”, he said. “You don’t even get a flat in London with your salary. You don’t have anybody here, don’t be stupid.”

“I was stupid when I forgave you the first time you cheated and married you instead”, she said, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“What do you wanna do? Stay at this place? But well probably.. After all I was right, wasn’t I? You did sleep with him.”

Now Strike lost control. What was this prick thinking? He pushed the younger one to the door and kicked him out of his flat.

“Get the fuck out of my flat and if you threaten or speak to her once more, you’ll deal with me”, he grumbled. 

Matthew just laughed. What the hell?

“What will a cripple like you do to me? Wave your leg at my face?”

Something in his head just snapped and without hesitation he slammed his fist in Matthew’s face who stumbled back on the landing before also swinging his arm for a heavy punch. It landed at Strikes chin but didn’t affect him the slightest. He moved forward and they both got downstairs to the landing in front of his office where Matthew was trying to punch him once more. Easily he avoided the drunken man’s punch and hit him in the stomach. Matthew was breathing heavily for air and kicked against his prosthesis. Fuck… Cormoran went down and howled in pain. He still had problems and it was painful to wear his prosthesis so this wasn’t going to make it better either. He could hear footsteps behind him and Robin stumbling in front of him. 

“Stop this!”, she shouted but Matthew shoved her out of the way and hit the Detective again. 

Strike’s cut above the left eye began to bleed heavily while he tried to get up. Robin was still trying to stop her husband from hitting her best friend but failed miserably. Matthew always had been stronger than her and even now that he was drunk he easily got her out of the way before punching the man on the ground again. Strike pulled him down and also punched him a few more times.

“Cormoran, stop!”, Robin screamed and somehow he woke up and stopped.

Matthew looked like shit. There was blood everywhere. He had probably brokethis bastard’s nose. Robin helped him up and he hatefully looked at her husband. 

“Get the fuck out”, he spit and turned away.

“What the hell is going on there?”, the neighbour downstairs shouted. 

Matthew got up and pressed his shirt to his bleeding nose.

“This is not over…”, the man said and left them. 

Only now Strike realised that he was holding his breath and exhaled. Robin held him and helped him up the stairs again before locking the door carefully. She could not quite believe what had just happened. She looked at the small clock on one of the shelves in his kitchen while grabbing a wet towel from there. It was nearly 5am. Strike sat on the kitchen table and bled all over his t-shirt. He always had problems with his eyebrows, also while boxing during his time at the army. Robin returned with a soft and wet kitchen towel and started cleaning his face from the blood. 

“Thank you”, she said. “I… I’m sorry though. I didn’t know he would show up here. I didn’t even know how he could find me.”

“It’s alright”, he said and took the towel from her to press it against his eyebrow.

After a while the bleeding stopped and he took the towel away. Robin was looking at him, deep in her thoughts. 

“What is it?”, he said concerned.    
“He said that this wasn’t over.”

“I doubt he can do anything against your decision.”

“Except not sign the papers”, she said in fear.

“Well we’ll sort that out. I’ve a friend who’s a very good lawyer. She can help you if you like. I can call her in the morning.”

“Thank you”, she said once more.

He did more than he had too, but Robin was very grateful that he helped her through this. Robin wasn’t sure that she could do this on her own right now. Not after all this. He got up and to the small bathroom. She could clearly see the pain when he put some weight on his prosthesis. After a few minutes he emerged from it, dressed in a clean shirt. 

“It’s early. We should sleep some more. It’s going to be a long day. I have appointments with some clients in the morning.”

“Oh yes… Thank you again Cormoran.”

“Stop apologising and thanking me!”, he said mockingly and smiled slightly. “Goodnight Robin.”

“Goodnight.”

She headed back to his bedroom but lay awake, thinking about all that had happened earlier. Strike couldn’t sleep either but he needed to rest his leg so he sat down on the small camping bed and put the prothesis off. It hurt like hell. With a silent curse he lay down again and looked at the dark ceiling. This was definitely the worst development for them. He sighed and thought about how to still keep it professional after all this. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, Happy Birthday to my girl @LiaLeen today! I love you sweetie *kisses and hugs*
> 
>  
> 
> This is another part I've already written a while ago and it's without much pain or angst, promise ;)

After a few hours Strike got up again and headed to take a shower. He just got out and started to prepare the tea when Robin entered the room, quite sleepy and somehow she looked even worse than last night.  

“Good morning.” 

“Morning”, he said while heading to the fridge. “What do you want for breakfast? Eggs?” 

“No thank you, just some tea for me.” 

He accepted, although he looked at her small figure for a second. She had lost some weight over the past weeks. She should eat more. 

“Can I take a shower?”, she asked and immediately felt silly. 

“Sure, just make yourself at home, ok?” 

She got to the bedroom again to grab some clothes and then headed to the small bathroom. The shower was tiny and while she stepped in, she asked herself how Cormoran managed to shower in the small cabin. He was huge and everything felt so tiny beside his broad figure. She quickly showered and dressed before stepping out again. The Detective looked up when she entered and he could feel his eyes linger on her body a second longer than they should. He usually never did this and Robin wondered if it had something to do with the events of last night. Probably he was just concerned. Truth be told he just liked to look at her. She wore one of those tight, black pencil skirts and a red blouse. Her hair was tied into a messy bun and she didn’t wear any make-up. Beautiful was the only word he thought of when he saw her like this. She wore some black high heels that made her legs look even longer and more delicious. It took all his will to look away and concentrate on the mail in front of him. Robin took the second cup of tea and sat down opposite him. After all this time she was getting used to the way he made their tea and she somehow started liking it. Matthew always had drunk coffee in the morning and when he made the tea it was weak and watery so usually Robin had made them a decent cuppa. But when in the office it was often Strike who did it.  

“I’ll head downstairs”, she said with a look at the small watch. “Our clients will arrive soon.” 

It was nearly 8.45am and he had to admit that she was right. They both headed downstairs just in time when – a few minutes later – Mr Howard entered the office. Robin brought him to Strike’s office. The men shook hands and then the Detective confronted the man with the things he feared most. Robin instead, returned to her desk and started to write some invoices and sort some files when the phone rang. 

“Cormoran Strike’s office”, she answered the phone. 

“DI Wardle here”, a familiar voice said at the other end of the line. “Can I speak to Strike? It’s important. It has to do with Laing. He escaped from prison.” 

Robin froze… She exactly knew what this meant.  

“Give me a second”, she excused herself and headed to his office.  

Robin knew that Strike didn’t like to be interrupted when he was with a client, but this was important. She knocked and stepped in. 

“What is it Robin?”, he asked a bit harsher than she expected while the client was looking at some photos. 

“It’s DI Wardle. He wants to talk to you. It’s very important”, she said and he could see the fear in her eyes. 

“Tell him I’ll call back in 5”, he said apologetically and turned to their client again when she left the room.  

“Hello, DI Wardle?”, Robin asked after picking up the phone once more. 

“Yes?” 

“He’ll call you back in 5 minutes. He’s with a client at the moment.” 

“Alright.” 

The DI hung up. Robin did too and then just sat in her chair, still shocked. If Laing was out of prison he surely wants to get his revenge on Cormoran and Shanker. Well they both where responsible for him being in prison in the first place. A few minutes after the call ended, Strike and the client got out of his office. Like usual he was trying to sooth the mood of the client speaking comforting words to him. 

“I’m sure she’ll understand when you talk to her”, the Detective said. 

“Thank you so much Mr Strike”, Mr Howard said and they both shook hands once more before the man left them alone.  

Cormoran faced Robin who was sitting in her chair, white as a sheet. Apparently Wardle had bad news for them. He stood beside her and dialled the DI’s number. A few seconds later he picked up. 

“DI Wardle.” 

“Yes Eric, Cormoran here. Robin said it was urgent.” 

“It is”, the DI said and Strike could hear him closing a door. “It’s about Laing. He escaped from prison this morning. I’m not supposed to tell you but fuck he’s dangerous. He’s probably going to find you and your mate.” 

“Fuck”, Cormoran said. “How did this happen?” 

“He complained about a heavy pain in his chest and some officers took him to the hospital. He killed the nurse and escaped without anyone noticing. We’re looking for him everywhere but had no success so far. Please be careful. If he shows up at your place, call me immediately.” 

“Sure will. Thanks Eric.” 

Immediately he called Shanker. 

“Bunsen”, the other man answered the call. “What’s up man?” 

“I need to talk to you. It’s important. Can you come over?”, Strike asked.  

“Sure. When?” 

“Now.” 

“Will be there soon”, the other said and hung up.  

Strike put down the phone and looked at Robin who subconsciously held her arm where Laing had injured her while trying to kill her.  

“Robin, you’re ok?”  

“Yes… I’m fine”, she lied and headed to the small kitchen to make them another cup of tea.  

She had to be busy or her thoughts would go wild. Anxiously Strike looked at the young woman when the door opened and another client stepped in. 

“Good morning Miss Roberts”, he said and guided her into his office.  

When he once more returned with her, Shanker already sat in the old battered leather sofa beside Robin’s desk. Both of them looked concerned and tired. He wondered if Robin had told him anything but knew that she hadn’t. He wished Mrs Roberts goodbye before stepping to Shanker.  

“Shanker”, he said and they both shook hands. 

“So what is it you wanna tell me Bunsen? Robin didn’t tell me anything but apparently it must be something big or she wouldn’t look this concerned.” 

Robin liked the man. He looked battered and miserable in his old clothes but she knew what he was capable of and she was still grateful that he had helped them solve the case against Laing.  

“It is something big Shanker. Laing escaped.” 

“How the fuck did this wanker got out?”, Shanker said angry and also concerned.  

“Faked a heart attack, got transferred to hospital and killed a nurse to get out. The police is looking everywhere but they haven’t found him yet.” 

“Bloody hell.” 

Shaker sank back onto the sofa and looked seriously shocked. Strike just stood here and waited. This was a fucking mess, not only the thing between Robin and Matthew but also Laing’s escape. He knew how dangerous the old man could be.  

“We need surveillance for your flat and Robin’s house”, Shanker then said. “I can call the boys. They can help.” 

“Thank you but no”, answered Strike then.  

“But you can’t let Robin go to work every day when this manic is out and haunting us!” 

“There’s no need for surveillance at my place”, Robin then said too. “I…” 

She looked at Strike. Could she tell Shanker? The man easily deduced what was going on. 

“So you two are together now?”, he grinned.  

“No!”, Cormoran said and looked at him. “She’s just staying at my place for some reasons. Don’t interpret everything wrong mate”, he smiled sadly.  

“Has this something to do with your bruised eye and this dick she married? No offence”, he quickly said to Robin who stayed silent and carefully looked at the two men. 

How did Shaker know so much about all this? Yes, he had been at their wedding but she was sure that Matthew had made a good first impression then, so why would he think of him like that? Strike could feel her scrutinizing him and tried not to give anything away. He just nodded and Shanker understood immediately. There had been a night after the wedding when he had gotten drunk and told his old friend everything. His feelings. His thoughts about the wedding and about Matthew in particular. Shanker had never mentioned this night and had just listened to his friend. They never judged each other or their lives and maybe, thought Strike, this was the reason why they stayed in contact all those years. Not only due to the things they experienced in their youth but because they accepted each other in every way.  

“Ok I’ll tell the boys to keep an eye out for this fucker and look at your place then.” 

“Thanks Shanker and be careful yourself. You know what he’s capable off.” 

“Don’t worry Bunsen. Nothing can get me down”, he winked and they shook each other’s hand again. “Robin, it was nice to see you again”, he said and they even hugged each other quickly.  

“Thanks Shanker, stay safe, ok?” 

“I’ll darling, don’t you worry about dear old Shanker”, he said and then left.  

They didn’t had much time to talk because a few seconds later another client arrived. They both were busy until late afternoon.  

“What a day”, he mumbled and grabbed his coat. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I still got the job to look after Mad Dad. He’s back. I won’t be back until late in the evening.” 

“Oh ok… Be careful.” 

Strike took his camera and his phone and left the office. She worried too much. Strike was sure Laing wouldn’t do anything today. Not when the police was looking for him. He would wait and strike when no one expected him to. His leg still hurt from last night and he cursed the accountant while limping to the tube.  

 

It was late in the evening when he finally made his way back to the office. He had new photos of Mad Dad and had followed him for quite a while. His leg was even worse than in the morning and Strike thankfully sank in one of the seats at the tube. It would be hell getting up but he just needed to rest for a while. He closed his eyes when his mobile vibrated in his coat pocket. He took it out and looked at the screen. A text from Robin. 

_On my way home. Need to pick up a few things and Matthew’s out tonight. R._  

What the fuck?! Quickly he dialled her number and she picked up. 

“Cormoran?” 

“What the fuck are you thinking? You can’t go out alone. Not with Laing on the loose. Are you crazy?”, he shouted at her. 

“Don’t worry. I’m all fine. I’m nearly there.” 

“Then stay there! I’ll come and we will go back together”, he grumbled. “Understand?” 

“Yes”, she sighed and hung up.  

Strike got out at the next stop and took another train to Robin’s and Matthew’s house. Half an hour later he arrived and already could hear the shouting when he stepped closer to the front door. Apparently Matthew had not been out or gotten home earlier. Without hesitation he knocked. 

“Don’t you fucking run away now!”, he heard Matthew shouting. “I won’t sign this shit! You can’t just leave!” 

She opened the door and let him in before she walked back to Matthew. Strike discretely closed the door and waited in the hallway. It had been ages since he had been here. The last time they had broken up their work relationship and he had never been angrier at her. The house was small but very nice, and he liked what she had made of it over the years.  

“I can!”, Robin shouted at her husband and he could clearly hear her accent slip this time. “I can and I will. Don’t you dare touch me!” 

“Robin, please..” 

“No! Stop this! I once believed you and you did it again. As soon as something bad happens you run to that… that…” She was struggling for words. “To her and fuck her!” 

Strike heard a loud bang and something bursting on the ground. Probably a cup or some sort of dishes.  

“It wasn’t like that!”, Matthew said again. “You wouldn’t let me touch you.” 

“I was grieving. I had lost our baby. I… I needed time!”, she shouted, tears streaming down her face.  

“And why did you lose it? I told you to rest and quit this job, but you kept running around London with this cripple and having so much stress all day.” 

Robin felt as if he had slapped her again. She stepped back, just looking at him, angry, sad and defeated.  

“I.. I didn’t mean it. Baby I’m sorry!”, he said when she grabbed her bag and turned away. “Robin, come back. Please!” 

She headed towards Strike and left the house without another word, still crying. Strike had heard everything. Matthew startled when he saw the Detective standing in his hallway. Before he could say anything Strike left and followed Robin.  

“Robin, please wait”, he said and she walked slower this time. “Thanks”, he said finally catching up with the young woman. “Come on, let’s take a cab”, he said while already waving at a driver to stop. 

Robin nodded and silently slipped into the dark and warm inside of the black car. Strike followed. 

“Denmark Street”, he simply said and closed the door behind him.  

While they drove back to the office both of them stayed silent. He could hear Robin sobbing in the silence of the car and it broke his heart to see her like this. He took her hand in the dark and without warning she got closer and buried her face at his shoulder while still crying. Cormoran put an arm around her and pulled her even closer. There was nothing to say or do to make her feel better. He just held her during the car ride and hoped she would calm down a bit. Without thinking he buried his nose in the back of her neck and inhaled her flowery scent. For a few moments he imagined how it would be if he could do this all the time. Hug her and hold her tight. He kissed her hair and stroke her back and after a while she really did calm down. Robin had clasped her hands in his coat and shirt and concentrated on her breathing. She could feel his warm body under her hands and pressed herself more to him. His breathing accelerated and she could feel him shift in his seat. She thought about his reactions and realised that this was unusual for a friend. But then he was a man and she was a woman and this wasn’t a very unusual reaction to her touch. She could feel his lips at her temple and could feel him pressing a slight kiss against them. She closed her eyes and some more tears rolled down her face. 

Strike closed his eyes and just let the minutes pass before the cab stopped. 

“We’re here”, said the driver and curiously looked at his passengers.  

Robin sat up and dried her face with the hem of her shirt. Strike passed some notes to the driver, thanked him and opened the door. He took her bag and they both headed inside. Robin could feel his eyes linger on her back and she somehow felt uncomfortable. They got to his flat where he put down the bag and headed to the door again. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Don’t you want something for dinner?”, he simply said and smiled a little. “I have to go to the shop. Fridge’s nearly empty”, he continued and left the flat once more.  

Robin felt alone again and looked over the unfamiliar surroundings. She liked it here. Even though the flat was very tiny he had made something of it. A home Robin envied him for. She definitely needed to look for a place to stay. She put her bag in the bedroom, hung her coat on the hook near the door and sat on the table, looking through some suitable places to stay and there were many in London. Robin still sat over the residential estates when Strike returned with two bags of groceries. Deep in thoughts she stared at his back while he unpacked the shopping bags.  

“What where you up too?”, he then asked and stepped to her. “Residential estates?” 

“Yes I… I need a flat. I can’t stay here forever.” 

For a second, he wanted to say that she could, but stayed silent. Why was he behaving so ridiculous lately? His thoughts were inappropriate, childish and unprofessional. He turned to the task at hand and started cooking. He had never been very good but it was enough to survive. He started making his famous pasta. Usually he cooked them for his girlfriends but this was special and Robin needed a cheer up. He opened a bottle of white wine and handed her a glass before he returned to the oven again. Robin took a sip and continued looking for a flat, didn’t found something affordable though. Robin felt exhausted and deep in thoughts she – once more – observed Strike while he was rummaging through the small kitchen. He hummed something and Robin smiled. This was such a domestic scene and she never had thought, that she would see him do something simple. It took off her mind from Matthew and their second row. Strike however thought about exactly this. Matthew was a complete dick when he held her job against what had happened. He was sure no one could have done anything against this. Maybe it was for the best, he thought to himself, that she had lost the baby. She would have never been happy with Matthew and the baby. He would have had made her stay at home and Robin had to give up the thing that truly made her happy for a guy who didn’t appreciate her at all. Who saw her love for him as a God-given right and who cheated on her when they had problems and when she needed his support the most. He was clenching the knife in his hand angry. Robin saw his body tighten and could she him clench the knife.  

“Cormoran? Are you ok?” 

He dropped the knife immediately and it scattered on the ground. 

“Fuck..”, he mumbled and picked it up. “Yes I’m fine, sorry.” 

He continued and an hour later he served dinner. Robin looked happily and excited at the plate in front of her. 

“Bon appetite”, he said and smiled.  

She tasted the pasta and closed her eyes. Wow…  

“This is delicious. I had no idea that you can cook”, she praised his work. 

“My grandma taught me a bit. And I had some blokes in the army who could cook and showed me something.” 

He quiet enjoyed eating with her. Always has. It was pleasing to see her appreciate good food and enjoying it. This also was one of the reasons why he didn’t understand that she seemed permanently to be on a diet. She had a good figure and looked beautiful just the way she was. But after all the things that happened today he once more realised that Matthew hadn’t appreciated his wife at all. He himself always was different to his girlfriends. He showed them how much he loved them. He appreciated their style and everything they did for him. In return he usually made them feel special. Well he had with Charlotte. She had been special for him all those years. All those memories were special. It had been an unhealthy relationship after all but at first he didn’t see it. Did not want to see it. When she told him she was pregnant he had been over the moon. He couldn’t believe that his was actually going to happen. When she then told him she had lost the baby it broke his heart. Seeing her devastated and so broken, complaining it was her fault made him sad. He had tried everything to make her feel better, to make her feel loved and cherished. He simply couldn’t understand why Matthew hadn’t done the same with such a gorgeous and wonderful woman like Robin. He knew he thought too much about her. Showed his feelings too much lately but it was impossible not to do it. They both ate in silence and she helped him clean the dishes to keep her thoughts occupied. They both heard a noise downstairs and Robin let the plate in her hand slip and it burst on the wooden floor. Strike quickly looked at her then slide to the door and listened for more noise. They could hear glass shatter and something getting knocked over. It sounded horrible. After a while the noises stopped.  

“You stay here”, he said and opened the door. “Lock the door and don’t let anyone in unless it’s me.” 

“Cormoran no!”, she whispered anxious but he was vanished downstairs already.  

Robin obeyed and locked the door again. Her hands trembled when she heard Strike shout and steps on the metal staircase then everything was silent. She was afraid that something had happened so she unlocked the door and silently headed downstairs. She reached their office and saw what had happened. The glass door was smashed in, her desk and PC lay broken on the floor. Someone had slashed the leather sofa and the other glass doors and walls were shattered too.  

“Cormoran?”, she said into the dark of their office and found him in his part of it.  

“Christ!”, he said jumping. “I told you to stay upstairs!” 

“I was worried”, she just said. “What happened?” 

“Laing… He was here. Tried to scare us probably.” 

“Oh god what a mess”, she said and looked around his office. 

Papers were spread on the floor and tore apart. The windows to the backyard were broken as well and Strikes desk was knocked over too. Strike pulled his mobile from his pocket and called Wardle.  

“Eric, I’m sorry to disturb you this late. It’s Laing. He was here. Could you please come? Thanks mate.” 

He hung up and looked at her. Robins look was still on the mess in their office. Great, after all this shit with Matthew she also had to endure Laing and the fear that he would kidnap her.  

“Wardle will be here in a few minutes.” His phone rang and he answered the call. “Strike. Yes… I saw him running away, was too slow.. Yes.. Thanks Shanker. Yes.. That’s great news.” 

Robin looked at him curiously.  

“Shanker just called. His boys have a lead on Laing. They will observe the area and keep an eye out for him.” 

“That’s good”, she agreed and bend down to put up a paper. 

It was her working contract she had first signed when she was here for the agency. Seeing it now it felt like decades ago. Everything had been simple then. Her relationship was happy and she wasn’t in this mess with Matthew. She sighed and let the paper slide back to the ground.  

“Go to bed”, Strike said. “It will be late and I need you to be rested for tomorrow. We have some observations.” 

She nodded and headed upstairs again. Mentally exhausted and tired she headed to his bedroom and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.  

 

Strike waited in the dim light of their office for DI Wardle. He was calmer than he was before with Matthew and strolled through the office. Apparently nothing had been stolen but everything smashed. As he said to Robin, this probably was an attempt to scare them. But Strike wasn’t afraid. He got this fucker once, so he will catch him again. 

“Strike?”, the DI asked into the silence and knocked at the open front door. 

“Eric”, Strike said while walking towards him. “Thank you for coming this quickly.” 

“Looks like you had some unsatisfied clients”, the DI joked slightly and looked around. “Are you sure this was Laing?” 

“Positive. I got downstairs and went inside and when he saw me he pushed me away and ran downstairs. I was too slow to follow him, but it was Laing.” 

“Alright. Is anything stolen?” 

“No, nothing at all. Everything’s just smashed.” 

“Looks like he wanted to just scare you”, the DI said too.  

“Yes I thought about this too.” 

“Alright. I’ll call some colleagues they’ll stand watch in front of your flat and the one of your colleague Miss Ellacott. We’ll start a wider search for Laing tomorrow. I can’t do anything tonight. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok, I understand.” 

Strike knew from his time at the SIB that the hands of the DI were tied. He knew what was possible and what not. He lingered there for a moment. 

“About Robin’s flat… You don’t need some men there. It’s enough when you send some here.” 

“But…”, Wardle started, then he understood. “Strike you Casanova!”, he laughed. “After all you did it. Time to collect my piece of the bet then. I was right.” 

“What bet?”, he asked curiously.  

“Oh some colleagues at the yard and I were routing for you and Robin. And others didn’t so we wagered if you two would get together or not”, the DI explained. 

Strike grumbled. It would have no use to explain the Detective what really happened so he stayed silent and looked at him annoyed. 

“Don’t be angry mate”, Wardle said and slapped him on the upper arm. “You’re a cute couple and I wish you two all the best. Gotta go now or my wife will kill me when I get home this late again. I’ll arrange everything for tonight.” 

“Yes, thanks Wardle.” 

A few seconds later the DI already had left him again. Bloody hell! He had no idea that there had been a wager if the two of them would get together or not. Jeez! He was sure if Robin knew about this, she would be shocked about the indecency of the London police force. Deep in thoughts he sat on the slashed sofa and thought about Laing. Why just scare them and not go upstairs and harm them? Get his revenge? Strike didn’t sleep at all this night and when Robin got down in the morning she was surprised to find him here.  He looked horrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and they were visibly reddened. His hair was a mess and his chin was even more covered in stubbles than the day before.  

“Morning”, she said. 

“Morning”, he mumbled and for the first time in hours, moved. 

His body ached and his leg hurt with every movement. Maybe not a good idea to sit here all night, he thought and carefully got up. Robin looked around.  

“Any news about Laing?” 

He shook his head and let his hand glide through his ruffled hair. Robin handed him a cup of tea and then sat on the sofa herself. 

“What did Wardle say?” 

“He ordered surveillance for the office and they will start searching for Laing again. I don’t think they’ll find him. He’s too clever, especially if he doesn’t want to be found.” She knew he was right. “We should meet up with Shanker. Maybe he got news or a lead. Then we need to do the observations... We still have clients after all. I need to call Ilsa, maybe she knows what to do with Matthew and I have another client to see tonight”, he said while standing in the room. “We need to get someone to clean this up.” 

“I can do it. I need a distraction anyway.” 

“Alright”, he agreed.  

Strike knew that he didn’t want to be pampered and spared so he didn’t try to argue with her. 

“I need a bath”, he mumbled and once more his hand slid through his already messy hair. 

He headed upstairs and took a quick shower while Robin started to clean the office. When he returned she had sorted everything and the room was clean expect for the desk which was still thrown over. Robin tried to put her one up but failed. It was way too heavy. Strike entered and saw what she was about to do. Silly woman… She accepted no help at all. But somehow that was one thing he truly liked about her.  

“Let me help”, he said and took the other end of the desk. It was easy for him to put it up. She could see his muscles tense under his blue shirt. She especially liked those on him. He had rolled up his sleeves and the first two buttons were undone. She understood what women liked about him and why Matthew had thought he was a treat to him. But all his accusations that she had slept with him in Scotland were silly. He was her boss and friend but nothing more.  

“Where do we start first?”, Robin asked and put on her coat. 

 

Late in the evening Strike returned from one of his observations of Mad Dad. This guy truly knew no boundaries. He checked his phone for any messages and had one from Robin. 

_Finished with my observations. You were right, she’s sleeping with the maid. Dinner? R._  

Quickly he texted back while walking through the pouring rain that had started just half an hour ago. 

_Can’t meeting up with Shanker. Following a_ _lead on Laing. Talked to I_ _lsa, s_ _he wants to talk to you tomorrow. If you still want to get divorced._ _Please don’t get into trouble._  

He put his phone back in his coat pocket, turned up his collar and headed limping to the tube. Half an hour later he was at the old pub Shanker and he wanted to meet in.  

“Bunsen!,”, Shanker greeted him like usual.  

“Shanker.” They shook hands. “What do you got for me?” 

He ordered a glass of Whiskey and a pint while they stayed at the bar.  

“Some of my boys saw him go back to his old flat. The one he mentions on his website. No one would search in it because it’s empty since months but I think he’s hiding in it and we saw him leave from time to time. Could be a trap tho”, he considered. “You should be careful Bunsen.”  

“I will. Please keep an eye on Robin. I know she won’t just stay in my flat and wait.” 

“Will do.” Strike drank his Whiskey in one sip. “You really do like her, do you?” 

“This has nothing to do with the fact that I want her to be safe. Just as you. But you can look after yourself better than she can”, he avoided his question.  

“Bunsen, you know what I mean.” 

“I do”, he sighed. “But it’s not appropriate. I told you that many times before. She just split up from her husband because he cheated on her again after she lost a baby.” 

“Oh shit.” 

“So you see there’s more to it than just some silly and childish feelings for my assistant. As I said it’s not appropriate and I can’t do this.  She deserves so much better than an old cripple like me.” 

“You’re a good guy Bunsen. She just needs to see it.” 

Strike stayed silent and drank his beer before the two of them left. It was still raining heavily and Strike was soaked a few minutes later. Bloody hell, would this rain never stop? He headed to the tube and dove to the building complex Laing once had a flat in. Maybe Shanker was right and this was a trap, but maybe it wasn’t and he would find Laing here. He had took position in a darkened corner by the small shop. It was getting colder by the hour and heavy rain poured down on him. Nonetheless he stayed where he was and watched the house. It was early in the morning when his phone was vibrating again. Another text from Robin. 

_Will you be home soon? You too need some sleep you know._  

He smiled and typed a short answer. 

_Got some lead on Laing._  

While he stood here, his thoughts started to drift again and – as many other times before – he thought of Robin… 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strike's thoughts drift back to the wedding, while he's on observation for Laing when his suspect shows up at last...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this is one of my fav parts of the beginning of the fic. I loved the idea of writing the wedding and what happend after her "I do" to Strike (yes it was to him, don't convince me otherwise!!!)   
> And a bit more of angst and pain so be prepared...

_Robin was beaming at him when he entered the old church. They seemed to be looking at each other for ages. The priest cleared his throat and asked her once more._

_“And do you Robin Ven_ _e_ _tia_ _Ellacott_ _take Matthew Cun_ _liffe to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to_ _honour_ _him all the days of your life?”_

_“I do”, Robin then said and smiled at Matthew._

_They exchanged the rings and the priest pronounced them man and wife. Everyone in the church was clapping and getting up. Strike kept looking at her and smiled too. Bride and groom_ _walked down the aisle and some young girls where pouring flowers in front of them. He was the last one they passed and Matthew looked at him quite confused and a bit angry._

_“Congratulations”, Strike said smiling at them. “I wish you all the best.”_

_“Thank you”, Robin said and kissed him on the cheek._

_“_ _Thanks_ _Cormoran_ _”, Matthew also said and shook the Detectives hand stiffly._

_They all walked out and into the sun. Strike followed and was about to leave for Shanker and the car when someone hold him back._

_“Sir!” It was an elderly woman’s voice. “Sir_ _! Mr Strike!_ _?”, she asked._

_“Yes Ma’am_ _”, he said while turning to her and he saw that it was Robin’s mother, Linda_ _Ellacott_ _._

_“_ _You’re not leaving already, are you? Robin would be devastated to hear that.”_

_She smiled at him happily and he was happy to see her again. She had liked her immediately when they had met all this time ago at the office._

_“Oh I… My driver is waiting”, he simply said._

_“_ _Well then grab him and join us for the reception. You must be hungry.”_

_“Alright”, he agreed and smiled at the little woman in front of him._

_He headed to the car where he grabbed Shanker and they both joined the others for lunch and coffee. It was a very nice day and everyone seemed happy._

_“Is_ _n’t she beautiful_ _?”, Shanker asked him over their coffee when Robin went to another table to greet the people. She wore her hair up and a nice hair clip made of pearls. Her dress had long sleeves made of lace._ _Also_ _the upper part of the dress was covered in lace. It was very tight and her curves were looking great in it. The skirt of the dress was simple and was flowing down from her hip like an ocean of silk and lace. She looked stunning._

_“Yes._ _She is_ _”, Strike simply said and smiled a bit._

_“_ _I think she’s glad to see you Bunsen_ _”, Shanker said and took another bite from his piece of the wedding cake._ _“And you’re too.”_

_“Thank you for driving me here”, he then said._

_“Well you paid very good for me to do it Bunsen.”_

_Both of them laughed when Robin got to their table._

_“_ _Cormoran_ _and Shanker. Nice to see you both” she said and shook their hands.  “I’m glad you could make it.”_

_“I’m glad too”, Strike admitted and stood up. “Robin I wanted to apologise for how I behaved. It wasn’t right but this case…”_

_“Don’t apologise. It’s enough for me that you’re here today.”_

_She smiled her genuine smile and he took her hand and kissed it quickly. Robin blushed and then headed to the other guests to talk to them._

_“Man you got it bad”, Shanker_ _then said._

_“Shut up!”_

_Both of them laughed again and had another piece of cake._

_It got late and_ _t_ _he guests all had quite a lot of wine and alcohol when bride and groom danced their first dance together._ _Strike like all other guests stood_ _at the edge of the dance floor and watched the happy couple._ _He saw how Matthew_ _concentrated_ _hard on the steps while Robin tried not to look in pain when he stepped on her toes once more. Strike tried not to laugh when he realised it and looked down on his hands, grinning._ _Robin’s mum was crying and looked genuinely happy. Shanker stepped beside him._

_“Not a good dancer, isn’t he? Hope he’s better in bed than he can dance”, the other man laughed and an elderly woman shoot him a repulsed look and stepped away._

_“Shanker please”, Strike said_ _, couldn’t stop grinning though._

_“Sorry Bunsen but you know she deserves a real man._ _Not this young boy who cheated on her.”_

_Strike knew he was right but it was Robin’s decision. If she was happy, than he surely wouldn’t_   _interfere or say something against it. The dance ended and once more the crowd applauded. Robin looked painfully at him and he genuinely laughed this time._ _People started to dance around him while he headed out to the terrace to smoke._ _When he woke today, he did never imagine to be here and to ac_ _tually enjoy it._ _He smoked while looking at the fields that surrounded the small village. So this was the place where Robin grew up._ _It was nice and calm. He could hear some birds sing in a nearby tree when he heard the clicking of some high heels on the floor._

_“I knew I’d find you here”, Robin said and stepped beside him._ _“Hiding I suppose?”_

_“Just like you”, he said simple and smiled. “How are your feet?”_

_Robin giggled and he scrutinized her for a while._

_“You noticed?”_

_“Of course. He was very clumsy to be honest.”_

_“So you think you can do it better?”, she challenged him._

_“Maybe”, Strike said and continued smoking._

_“Robin darling!”, they heard her mother shouting. “Where are you dear?”_

_“I_ _g_ _ot to_ _go. Will I see you later?”_

_He nodded and she left with a smile._

_“_ _I’m c_ _oming mum!”_

_With a last look at him she returned insi_ _de to talk to her mother. A few seconds after she had left, Matthew stood beside him._

_“Can I have one?”_

_Strike handed him the pack of cigarettes and the lighter and Matthew lit one up._ _For a few minutes they both stayed silent, then Matthew spoke._

_“I didn’t expect you to come here. After all you did to her.”_

_“What do you mean?”, he said but inside he was burning with rage._

_“You fired her”, Matthew said simple._

_“Well some situations require drastic actions.”_

_“Let me get this right”, Matthew then started and looked straight at him. “She decided to have me. After all that happened she came back and forgave me. She said yes today and I intent to make her happy. No one – not even you or your ridiculous adventures – will take her away from me. And if you just try to touch her or make a move on her I’ll personally make sure you’ll never see her again. Are we clear on this?”_

_Strike did not intent to let this boy threaten him and get away with it._ _He stepped a bit closer and since he was taller than Matthew, looked down at the younger man._

_“Let me get something right in return. If you ever cheat on her again or harm her in any way, I’ll personall_ _y make your life a living hell” Strike said calm and smilingly._

_Matthew dumped the cigarette in a nearby ashtray and headed angrily inside._ _Prick! Strike dumped his cigarette too and followed him inside. Shanker too was dancing with a young woman who was giggling during their dance and he could see Robin and Matthew in a heated discussion a few feet away. She tried to calm him and took his hand but he said something and left her standing on her own. She smiled at some who were looking at them and headed to the toilettes. Strike followed her and called her name._

_“Robin?” She turned to look at him and he could see her painful smile. “Are you alright?”_

_“Yes I’m fine. Just need a second for myself. All those people are exhausting.”_

_“I just wanted to apologise”, he said, trying_ _not_ _to upset her. “It was wrong to react like this and fire you. I… Would you come back and continue working with me?”_

_“It would be my pleasure”, she honestly answered and smiled once more._

_She looked even more beautiful now._ _He got back to the others while she headed to the toilettes._

_“You talked to her?”, Shanker deduced immediately after his return and handed him a beer._

_“She will work for me again”, he said happily._

_“That’s good news mate. The groom didn’t look very happy_ _tho_ _.”_

_Matthew eyed them from a corner of the room where he was in conversation with a blonde and attractive young woman. Was this…? No, he wouldn’t dare to invite his p_ _ast love affair to his wedding, would he?_

_“What did you say to him that he reacted like that Bunsen?”_

_“Oh I simply don’t like to be threatened by young school boys.”_

_Shanker laughed while Strike watched Matthew and the woman carefully._ _The evening went on and after some more champagne and snacks some people already left and just the younger ones stayed._

_“We should head home soon”, Strike said and watched bride and groom dancing closely to a very slow and romantic song._

_After the song ended she straight headed to Strike who had been watching her closely._

_“You said you could do it better”, Robin said smiling. “Show me”, she then demanded._

_“You want me to dance with you?”_

_She nodded and smiled. Strike got up and took her hand before heading to the dancefloor with her. It was another very slow song. He put one hand in his and_ _the other_ _on her waist before he started swaying around with her. He had been a better dancer in his youth and before he lost his leg but compared to Matthew, he didn’t stepped on her toes once._

_“You are better”, she said and smiled. “Doesn’t..”, she hesitated._

_“Does what?”_

_“Doesn’t your leg hurt while dancing?”_

_“It does, but it’s worth it”, he said and grinned._

_“Thank you for coming”, she said again._

_“Thanks for the invitation._ _So what are the plans after the wedding? A honeymoon trip?”_

_“Oh no, we want to save some money first before travelling a bit.”_

_“You can still take a while off_ _tho_ _.”_

_“That would be lovely”, she said. “Thanks boss”, she teased and smiled._

_After the song ended he still held her hand in his and one lay on her waist. Robin looked him straight into the eye and smiled her gorgeous smile. She nearly was his high today because of her shoes.  She bend forward and once more kissed him on the cheek._

_“Shanker and I will probably leave now. It’s a long way home and I’ve an appoint_ _ment with the police tomorrow.”_

_“Oh… Well then I better let you two go. Thank you_ _Cormoran_ _. Goodbye.”_

_“Goodbye Robin.”_

_He kissed her hand once more and then headed back to Shanker who had been watching them interested._

_“Let’s go Shanker.”_

_He got up, waved to Robin and they both left the wedding._

Strike was back to reality when a couple passed and looked curiously at him. He lit up a cigarette and once more checked his phone. No new messages. He still looked at the entrance of the house when he saw a tall figure leave it. Strike watched the figure cautiously and saw that it was a man. The statue was suitable for Laing. He got closer and when he was sure it was the man he had waited for, he followed him. It was hard to keep up with his leg and soon after a few alleys he had lost him.

“Fuck!”, he grumbled under his breath and looked around.

No one was in sight. He was all alone but suddenly he felt watched. Strike turned around and there he was. Donald Laing, scrutinizing him from one end of the alley.

“I thought you’d follow me”, the man said in a heavy Scottish accent. “I didn’t thought it would be that easy though. You’ve gotten slow and predictable Cormoran.”

“Well maybe but you are still a coward.”

“Did you really thought I wouldn’t come back for you and your little girlfriend? I imagined what I’d do to her. What I would do to her while you are watching. It is a very pleasant distraction in prison. Thinking about a suitable revenge for the man who got you in there in the first place.  And the little fella. The guy with the scared face. I also thought of a suitable method to make his life miserable. Oh and believe me I’m gonna enjoy it even more in reality than when I imagined it.”

Laing pulled a knife and slowly stepped closer. Strike knew that he couldn’t get away with his leg so he didn’t even try it and stayed where he was. He wasn’t afraid of his life. Or what the man could do to Shanker. He knew that his friend was capable of staying safe but the one he truly was concerned about, was Robin. She was so young and vulnerable and after all Laing once had tried to harm her and nearly succeeded hadn’t it been for a simple rape alarm. He shoved the thought away and concentrated on his current situation. Laing was coming closer until he stood in front of the Detective. 

“So what have you been up to while I was gone?”

“Oh this and that”, he said nonchalantly. “Mostly helping the police catch scum like you.”

Without hesitation Laing punched him in the stomach and Strike stumbled back.

“Fucking bastard”, the convict grumbled. 

Strike spit some blood to the ground and looked at him again, a smile on his lips. His method to provoke him apparently worked. 

“So how many years did you get? Apparently a life-sentence if I’m right. After all you have done and all the women you have killed it just seems natural.”

“Oh as if you have never killed anyone”, Laing spit disgusted. “You killed many people, didn’t you? All those sleepless nights in the beginning when you still felt guilty. Then the simple knowledge that it was your job and after a while you started enjoying it, did you? You liked it. We are not so different you and I.”

“No, I never enjoyed killing people”, Strike said truthfully. 

Strike wasn’t traumatized by the war, he just never enjoyed it like some of the other men. He just did it because it was his job but deep down he knew that it was a waste of good people. Seeing more violence than he already had in his youth hadn’t been exactly what he had imagined but nonetheless he had loved his job in the SIB. 

“Pity”, Laing said with a sardonic grin. “I did.”

 The other man stepped forward and Strike managed to grab his arm to prevent that the knife sank into his flesh. He stumbled back from the heavy impact of Laing’s shoulder against his. He punched the other in his kidneys and Laing winced painfully and grumbled something before attacking again. It was a very silent and rough fight they fought. Both of them landed and got some punches from one another and soon the knife landed on the wet and dirt floor. He knew that this was serious and he saw that Laing wanted to kill him this time. They heard shouting in the distance and then footsteps and small lights coming closer. 

“Cormoran!”, he heard Robin shout his name before he pushed Laing away.

“Robin go back!”, he shouted while he half turned away when Laing sprang up and before Cormoran could do anything, the knife found its destination. He could feel the pain as his flesh was torn apart and the blade slid into his stomach. Laing bend to him while he clung to the criminal's arms. Laing couldn’t pull the knife out or he would bleed to death within a few minutes. 

“I wanted to do this slower but I’m out of time. But believe me, I will find time for your little girlfriend. She’s next. Goodbye Mr Detective”, he mumbled at his ear and wanted to pull the knife out but Strike didn’t let him.

They jostled for the handle when Laing suddenly let go and hurried away. Strike did hear the voices calling his name while he sank on his knees, his shirt and coat blood stained. It did hurt. Fucking bastard managed to get his revenge after all, he thought while everything around him started to spin. He had to lay down for a second… Strike let go and sank on the cold and wet ground but he didn’t care. He could hear footsteps and saw the light of some flashlights coming closer. There were five people running the last fest steps. At the top of them Robin. His Robin… He mumbled her name but it got harder and harder to concentrate and he closed his eyes for a second. The pain in his stomach was still present and he felt some thick liquid streaming over his fingers while he still held onto the knife handle. He couldn’t let go.. 

“Cormoran!”, he heard Robins voice beside him and her soft fingers slid over his cheek. “Cormoran look at me!”, she order in a shaky voice and he obeyed.

Her green eyes looked concerned in his.

“Go on, follow him!”, he heard Wardle shout at two police officers and they ran past him where Laing had fled. 

“Bunsen!” Shanker sank down beside Robin and pulled his fingers away. “Fuck! He needs to get to the hospital asap! Call an ambulance”, he ordered Wardle and the DI called for one over the station. 

He could see Robin crying and Shanker tried to convince him that he should turn on his back but he didn’t let him do it. He just stayed like this and tried not to look away from her. Why was she here? Why were they all here? 

“Cormoran, keep your eyes open”, she mumbled and he felt her hand on his cheek again. “Please look at me”, she begged him with a tearful voice. 

His eyes were too heavy. Even though he wanted to look at her he couldn’t. Tired… He was so tired. He mumbled her name and something she couldn’t understand. Robin still had one hand on his cheek and the other one on his arm that was slipping from the knife handle and on the ground. He couldn’t die. Not now. She cried.

“Please… please, Cormoran look at me. Don’t leave me here… I still need you to teach me all this stuff and we have an agency to run. You can’t just turn away from your responsibilities now because I’m a bad student”, she tried to joke and she could see his little smile on his face. 

He could hear her. Oh god where was this ambulance? Anxious she looked at Shanker and at the knife. 

“Aren’t we supposed to do something? Shanker please help him”, she begged his friend.

“I can’t. He needs to go to a hospital. Fucking bastard! When I get Laing before the police does, I’m not sure he’ll will make it out alive”, Shanker grumbled and took her hand to sooth her. “Don’t worry Robin. Bunsen’s a stubborn bastard. He’ll make it out alive. He always does.”

She laughed with tears in her eyes and it more sounded like a sob. She stroke through Strikes dark, curly hair and over his cheek. He looked so peaceful but was way to pale. Blood was still dripping down on the pavement and his shirt was soaked. Please god let him live. I need him, he’s my best friend, she thought and a few seconds later they heard the sirens of an ambulance approaching. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thank you so so much for all the kudos and lovely comments. I cried. <3
> 
> @LiaLeen: I dedicated the whole story to you so don't be mean :P hihi ;)
> 
> And because of all you lovely people, a longer chapter today :)
> 
> Edit: Posted a few more lines since it's a better "ending" for now bc of a time-jump in the next paragraph. ;)

Strike heard a familiar and steady beeping when he regained consciousness. He was in a bed. The sheets were rough. Someone was holding his hand. Small, warm fingers. Strike imagined this. This could never be Robins hand…  Ridiculous! What reason would she have to do this? He opened his eyes.. Bright, white light. Everything was white around him… He then smelled the stinging smell of disinfectant. He was in a hospital and suddenly he remembered what had happened in the alley. He groaned when he tried to move. Pain. Instead he stayed calm and after his eyes got used to the brightness he looked around. He was in a small single room. On his right was a small window. On the left was a door that stood ajar and he could hear some voices outside the corridor. He then looked down to the hand and saw Robin. She was asleep on his right side. Her head rested on her other arm by the covers beside his hip, her hand lay in his. Her cheeks where reddened and her hair a mess. He could see the tear stains on her face. She was here. By his side. Happily, he smiled while looking down on his assistant when someone entered the room.  

“Bunsen, you’re awake!”, Shanker said silently and stepped closer to his friend. “How are you feeling?” 

“Where’s Laing?”, Strike asked and avoided the question.  

“Police didn’t get him. But my boys are looking out for him.” 

He nodded.  This was bad news. If Laing was still out there, god knows what could happen!  

“Promise me you’ll get him Shanker and don’t let him escape a second time. Please. I can’t let anything happen to her”, Strike said and looked at Robin while he remembered Laing’s words that she was next.  

“I will get him, don’t worry Bunsen. We’ll talk about the payment afterwards”, Shanker added.  

He didn’t want to feel sentimental although he would have done it just for his friend. After all Strike had saved his life more than once. Strike smiled and already closed his eyes once more. He was tried again. 

“Get some rest”, Shanker said and sat down on the chair to his other side. 

“Thanks Shanker”, Strike answered before he closed his eyes and fell asleep again. 

 

When he woke once more he could hear Robin whisper angrily into her phone. Matthew, he thought and opened his eyes. It was dark outside and he could see the London silhouette through the window. Just a small light above his bed was illuminating the small room. Robin was standing near the window, her back turned to him. 

“No Matthew I won’t. I told you before, it’s over. Just be a man and accept it! No!” 

She hung up and sighed. He carefully watched her. Strike quite couldn’t believe that she still was here. Robin turned around and jumped when she saw him watching her.  

“You’re awake!”, she said happily and smiled a bit before sitting down beside him. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m good. How are you?” 

“You’re worrying about me? After all that has happened?” 

He nodded. What was this all about? He could see how close she was to crying again and stayed silent. Robin tried to calm herself and smiled a little. 

“I’m fine Cormoran. Don’t worry about me.” 

He kept looking at her. She still wore the clothes she had worn before and she had dark circles under her swollen eyes.  

“How long have I been out?”, he finally asked. 

“Just about a day.” 

“Did anything happen meanwhile?” 

“Nothing too serious… But I think you might want to see this”, she said and grabbed a newspaper from the bedside table.  

He saw a large picture of him and Robin on the front cover and immediately read the headline:  _One-legged Detective stabbed._  What the fuck? Strike quickly scanned the article and stopped at one paragraph.  

_Apparently the Detective was stabbed a night ago while helping the police search for the fugitive D. Laing, who was imprisoned by Mr Strike about two years ago._

He continued reading… 

_We saw his assistant Mrs Ellacott-Cunliffe never leave his side during his time at hospital. One of our sources confirmed that Mrs Ellacott-Cunliffe  broke up with her husband and is now living with the Detective in his flat above the small but popular office in Denmark Street. Did the two of them found together after all this time?_

Fuck... Strike sighed and put the papers down. Great rumours about his private life and details on a case were the last two things he needed in the tabloids and papers right now.  

“I talked to Matthew about this confirmation they wrote about. He didn’t even deny it that he told the press about our break-up and that I live at your place at the moment”, she told him silently, kneading her hands nervously.  

Strike stayed silent although he wasn’t surprised and quite angry by this. What did the younger man wanted to archive through this? He wanted Robin back, obviously, but this didn’t help at all. Make her life hellish while the press was haunting her. But maybe that was his point? Strike always had been kind of famous due to his father’s name and his relationship with Charlotte. When he solved all this cases he got famous again and the press had took some interested in him again. This was what those shady papers needed. A good story about the famous Detective and he knew that Robin wasn’t the type for all this attention. Maybe Matthew wanted to make the press wild and hoped she would get back because she didn’t want to be with someone who was this popular. Because she didn’t want to have a life in the spotlight.   

“Cormoran I’m sorry. I told him this was unacceptable but he didn’t care. He told me he wanted to make things even more popular.” 

“Well it’s not a good timing, all this… But we’ll make it like all the other times before we had a problem”, he said and put the papers back on the nightstand.  

He winced at the movement and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Damn… When he looked at Robin again he could see her concerned look sliding over him. Without thinking he took her hand in his and squeezed it a little. Robin looked into his eyes and waited for him to say something. 

“Go home and rest. You look tired. My keys are in my coat”, Strike said and looked around. 

“I know but… I just can’t leave you here all alone.” 

“I’m fine plus it must be boring here. Go and rest. You can visit tomorrow if you insist but just sleep for now.” 

“I’m not tired”, she lied and he smiled. 

“Please Robin… Plus someone must run the agency.” 

“It has always been you.” 

“No, it has been you. Without you organising every appointment and my clients it would not have worked as it does now”, Strike admitted with a soft smile. “I know you can do it Robin. But no observations while I’m gone! Ask Shanker for help if you must and pay him generously but don’t go out there yourself.” 

“But Cormoran, the costs!” 

“Fuck the costs”, he grumbled. “I want you to be safe. I didn’t offer you this job and ask you to risk your life while doing it.” 

He wanted her to tell her that he was worried, that he needed her and couldn’t bear it if something happens to her while he was here himself but – like all the other times – he stayed silent and just looked at her. Robin wanted to stay with him but she knew he was right. She nodded somehow defeated and stood up. 

“Robin!” She turned back to him. “Why were you there in the first place? How did you know where I was?” 

“Shanker.. He found one of his boys near the flat murdered and knew it must’ve been Laing. He called so I called Eric and we tracked your phone.” 

“Thank you”, he said.  

“For what?” 

“For finding me.” 

“That’s what friends are for”, she said and smiled her little smile while grabbing her coat and purse from a nearby chair. “Get some rest”, she said while standing beside him. “I’ll be back tomorrow”, she promised and bend down and kissed him on the cheek before she left with a last smile. 

Robin left the hospital and walked to the tube before heading back to the office. It was nearly 11pm when she opened the door to his attic flat and stepped inside. She was exhausted; after all it had been exciting and emotional 24 hours for both of them. Robin put her coat on the hook beside the door before heading to the small kitchen unit. She needed a drink so she rummaged through the cupboards and finally found a bottle of Whiskey. Robin poured herself a glass and sat on the small sofa under the window where she drank and fell asleep after a while.  

 

Strike couldn’t sleep. His wound hurt him and he was too conscious about Robins kiss. He tried to ignore his feelings and kept reminding him that she’s only his friend and partner. After a while he fell into an uneasy sleep and had a weird dream.  

 _Robin sat in a cab beside him, holding his hand. They were both tired and exhausted from the last weeks this case has kept them on their feet. Robin leaned on his broad shoulders and_ _closed her eyes._  

 _“You know I think I could sleep for a whole week”, she mumbled tiredly._  

 _He laughed and kissed her temple before looking out of the window again. It had started to snow and he could see some of the people hurrying through the cold while carrying heavy bags with them. There where Christmas decorations in the shop windows and lights in the streets._  

 _“Robin?” She hummed. “What day is it?”_  

 _“23_ _rd_ _December. Why?”_  

 _“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve? Oh_ _._ _..”_  

 _She giggled at his shoulder. They arrived and he took her hand while heading upstairs to his flat. It was cold and when he checked the heating had failed._  

 _“Goddamn!”, he said and rubbed his cold hands together while Robin stood by the table, waiting. “The heating failed.”_  

 _“Well we won’t reach anyone during this time of day”, she said and c_ _hecked her watch. “It’s nearly 9_ _pm.”_  

 _He k_ _new she was right, like always,_ _and started to make them a cup of tea while Robin headed to the bathroom._  

 _“Well there’s some hot water in the boiler left”, she said and smiled while stepping to him and kissing him._  

 _This was exactly like he had imagined it all those times before. Her soft lips where against his and her small hands where already pulling him with her to the_ _tiny_ _bathroom._ _They had_ _done_ _this many times before. It was freezing but soon they stood naked in front of each other. His rough hands where rummaging over her body and he shoved her into the_ _shower. Robin laughed and kissed him once more while turning up the water. He gasped when the cold water hit his body. Jeez, she said it was warm! But before he could protest she turned up the heat and soon warm water war pouring on them._ _Strike bend down and kissed her again. He couldn’t get enough from her. He let his eyes wander over her body. Gosh she was beautiful. With soft kisses he wandered from her_ _lips over her cheek and neck to her breasts while he pressed her wonderful body against his. Robin moaned softly and he could fee what this was doing to him._  

 _“_ _Cormoran_ _please”, she begged breathlessly after a while._  

 _“Gosh I love you”, he murmured and kissed her once more before he shoved her at the cold tiles and she slung h_ _er_ _legs around him..._  

With a gasp he sat up and woke from his dream. Fuck… He panted and cold sweat was on his forehead. What the hell was all this about? He could feel his erection and felt even more uncomfortable. Shit… Still heavily breathing he sank back into the soft pillows because his wound was aching , closed his eyes and thought of something else than Robin. But again the picture of his beautiful and naked partner spooked through his head. How could he be able to have a simple business relationship with her when he thought about her in that way and had such heavy feelings for Robin? It simply was impossible, he admitted to himself. They needed to talk. He couldn’t ignore all this and pretend that they were just friends. Not when he knew that Robin would be available. Strike looked outside on the illuminated London silhouette and thought about a solution for his problem and about Laing. He was still out there, being a treat to their lives. Strike wondered what the man was doing and where he currently was.  

 

Laing stood in the pouring rain opposite of the office in Denmark Street. He was angry that the Detective once more managed to escape him and that the tabloids where already writing about this tragedy and the – apparently real – relationship of Strike and his partner. Why did he get all this attention? He didn’t even deserve it, Laing thought angrily and watched the silhouette of the young woman behind the illuminated window in the attic flat. He had been up there. Before the bitch had come back. He was curious how she would react to his little present. He lifted his hand and laid it on his breast jacket where a long knife was resting against his chest. Probably she would call the police… But for now the woman was still in the living room. It took a few hours until the lights went out and the ones in the other room got turned on. The bedroom where he had left her the present… He smiled. 

 

After a while Robin woke up and looked around. She was still on the sofa and her back hurt so she decided to head to bed after all. Tired she got up, put the bottle and glass away and headed to the bedroom. Robin already slipped out of her pullover and turned off the light before she turned the one in the bedroom on and stopped. There was a severed leg on the covers of the bed. A leg with painted nails and shaved. A woman’s. Robin closed her eyes and tried to think not of the blood all over the bed before she got out of the room again and hectically searched for her mobile phone before calling DI Wardle. 

“Wardle”, he picked up in a sleepy voice. 

“DI Wardle, Robin Ellacott here. I’m…” Her voice was shaking and broke. 

“What’s wrong Robin? Are you alright?”, he asked somehow alerted by her voice.  

“I’m sorry but please come. I think Laing has been here in the flat. There’s a severed leg on the bed.” 

“Fuck..”, she could hear him getting up and moving around. “I’ll send you some colleagues. Please stay calm and touch nothing. We’ll be there asap.” 

“Yes… Thank you.” 

She hung up and for a second thought about calling Strike. No… He needed to rest. This would only upset him. She pulled the pullover back on and sat on the sofa again where she waited for the police to arrive. When they did, she opened the door with shaky hands and some guys from forensics secured all evidence Laing might have left. Wardle sat down on the sofa beside her and took her statement.  

“Does Strike know?”  

“No”, she shook her head. “He needs to rest. I didn’t want to upset him with this.” 

Wardle understood what she meant and took a quick note before he excused himself and looked around for any evidence. Robins hands where shaking while the police rummaged around the flat. This was private but she couldn’t toss them out. It was late in the morning when Wardle returned to her. She was just making herself a cup of tea.  

“It was Laing. The lab just called. The DNA we found here, matched with his. We need to close the bedroom as crime scene. You can grab the things you need. I’m sorry Robin but you know the procedure.” She nodded. “Do you have somewhere to stay?”, he then asked.  

“I have somewhere. Thanks. The rest of the flat can be used?” 

Wardle nodded. Since Strike was in the hospital for the next time anyway she could sleep on the small camping bed of his in the living room. She surely wouldn’t go back to Matthew and her place. Even for sleeping. Robin looked at her watch. Nearly 7am and she had to sort some things out before some clients would arrive so she excused herself and headed downstairs in the office. She had completely forgotten about the missing glass and to call a craftsman to repair this. She took the phonebook and looked for someone cheap. They made an appointment for the next day and while drinking her tea, Robin wrote some invoices and read through the different notes she had wrote down for some cases before putting them in the different case files. Her phone beeped and she saw that she had a text from Matthew. What did he want? She opened it and read. 

 _I won’t sign the divorce papers you send. This isn’t over for me. I want you back Robin._ _M._  

His text reminded her, that she had to call Strike’s friend Ilsa. She would help with this mess. She looked for the lawyers number she had scribbled down but couldn’t find her note. Damn… She texted Strike and asked him for the number again before making herself a second cup of tea.  

 

Strike woke up by his mobile beeping. He groaned of pain when he moved to collect it from the bedside table sleepily. Robin. 

 _Good morning. I wanted to call Ilsa but can’t find her number. Could you send it to me once more? Hope you’re better. Will_ _come over tonight. Thanks._ _Laters_ _,_ _Robin_  

He smiled and did send her the number once more. 

 _Morning. Here’s her number. Hope you’re fine too and_ _all is well? Looking forward to your visit it’s very boring here. Stay safe. C._  

He smiled while putting away the phone when the door opened and a doctor entered the room. 

“Good morning Mr Strike. How are you feeling? I’m Doctor Jones.” 

“Morning”, he greeted and scrutinized the man for a second. 

He was quite young but seemed capable. The man took the chart and looked at Strike’s results. 

“Your results look good. You seem to respond very good for the medication. Are you in any pain?” 

“Just when I move”, he joked and the young doctor laughed a little. “When will I get out here? I have some serious business that’s waiting for me”, Strike then asked.  

“Mr Strike you’ve been heavily injured. You need to rest and stay for a few more days. The risk that you get inner bleedings is too high at the moment plus we are a bit worried about your leg. You seem to have heavy pain in it and some sort of inflammation due to your prosthesis. We are trying to treat that as well.” 

Shit, Strike thought. He needed to go back and sort this thing with Laing out. Laying here wouldn’t help the slightest.  

“Well then, do your worst and get me out here as soon as possible Doctor. It really is urgent.” 

“I’m trying my best Mr Strike. Do you need anything else?” 

“Am I allowed to get up? I’d like to move a bit around and take a shower if possible.” 

“Sure. But just so much for the pain not getting worse”, the Doctor ordered. “And don’t shower too long because of the stitches. But we can do something for that.” 

“Sure.” 

“Good. If you need anything else just ring and a nurse will come. I’ll send one for now to help you get your leg on and to the shower.” 

“Thank you Doctor.” 

“No need to thank me”, he smiled and left him again.  

A few minutes later a nurse entered his room and helped him get to take a shower. She had wrapped some sort of waterproof bandage around his wound. It felt good to wash everything away and just forget for a few minutes. 

“Mr Strike, not longer than you need to shower!”, she reminded him and he smiled but obeyed and stepped out of the shower.  

His leg hurt more than it usually did and he knew that the doctor had been right and he initially shouted at himself for ignoring it too long once more. He dressed in some clothes Robin had got for him and sat in a chair beside the window. He hated hospitals, always had. Being here, stuck, made him crazy. 

 

It was late afternoon when he slowly walked down to the small kiosk and brought today’s paper before heading upstairs again. The hospital was nearly empty, except some older patients walking slowly through the corridors. Strike unhurriedly walked back to his room where a police officer was waiting for him. 

“Mr Strike?” 

“Yes?” 

“DI Wardle ordered me to keep an eye out. I hope you don’t mind.” 

Curiously he looked at the officer but he gave nothing away. Nonetheless, something must have happened or he wouldn’t be here, after over a whole day without protection. 

“What did happen?”, he asked the man and saw him flinch uncomfortably. 

“I can’t say you anything right now. I’m sorry Sir.” 

Grumbling he got in, tossed the papers on the small table and picked up his mobile when the front page attracted his full attention. 

Severed leg found in Private Investigators flat – is the Ripper back? 

“Fucking hell!”, he shouted and quickly read through the article before he took his phone and called Robin. “C’mon pick up!”, he mumbled but the call got to her voicemail.  

He dialled Wardle’s number and he picked up after a few seconds. 

“Wardle.” 

“Eric, it’s me. I just saw the headlines. Why did no one tell me! Is Robin ok?” 

“Mate, calm down”, Wardle said and he heard him close a door.  “I can’t tell you anything right now. We’re still looking for Laing. Robin is fine, she called me last night. Please just wait for anything official.” 

“But Laing dumped another fucking leg in my flat! This is not the moment to stay calm!”, Strike shouted at him. 

“Mate, please. I can’t. You have to talk to Robin but I can’t say anything. Sorry, I gotta go.” 

Without another word the DI hung up and the line was dead. Shit! Angry Cormoran hit the button to end the call and sank in the chair again. Shit shit shit! He tried to call Robin again but once more he just reached her voicemail. This time he left a message. 

“Call me as soon as you hear this!”, he barked into the speaker and ended the call.  

For the first time since he was a young man, he felt helpless and vulnerable. Sitting here, not being able to do anything while his partner was in danger. He waited and the hours passed but he could not reach Robin nor did she show up. It was late in the evening and he was still sitting here, ignoring his dinner, when someone knocked at the door and Robin entered the room with a soft smile on her face. Strike sprang up but winced in pain. Fuck… 

“Cormoran, what are you doing out of bed?”, she said and hurried to him.  

He looked at her carefully. She seemed to be alright. She seemed to be well and in a good mood? No. No she wasn’t. She was worried and had even darker circles under her eyes. Another sleepless night, he supposed. Her hand was resting on his arm and before he could do or say anything, she manoeuvred him back to the bed. When he had lain down again, he scrutinized her once more.  

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” 

“My phone?”, she asked confused. “I was with our clients the whole day”, she said. “And then I had an appointment with Ilsa and headed straight here.” 

“You were supposed to call”, he said harsh and she looked confused at him.  

“Why are you reacting like that? I’m here now. What’s wrong Cormoran?” 

He took the paper that was sitting on his nightstand and showed her the front page. Robin took it and scanned the article. She didn’t seem surprised at all and was way too calm in his opinion.  

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he wanted to know.  

“I didn’t want to worry you. It was nothing, really.”  

“Nothing?”, he shouted at her. “Nothing?! Robin, Laing was in my flat and left another leg for us. He was there and could have done anything to you. He’s dangerous!” 

Robin just sat there and let him shout at her. She could see the worry in his eyes and she knew that he was right but didn’t care. She was capable of dealing with these things on her own. She knew how the job had to be done. Why was he so angry about all this? Robin crossed her arms defensively and waited. Strike flashed his eyes at her and suddenly his features softened, he sighed.  

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.” 

“No it’s fine. I should be sorry because I didn’t tell you but I just… I was able to deal with it Cormoran.” 

“I never said I doubt that you can handle all this”, he said truthfully.  “I was just worried.” 

“No need to be worried. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself”, she joked lightly.  

“Tell me what happened last night Robin”, he asked. 

“When I came back to your place I first fell asleep on the sofa and when I wanted to go to bed and stepped inside your bedroom I found the leg. It was spread on the covers, blood everywhere so I called Wardle.” 

“That’s all?” 

She nodded and carefully looked at him. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I’m good, don’t worry about me.” 

Truth be told, his wound hurt more than in the morning and the stitches were itchy. It knocked again and the young Doctor entered again.  

“Oh you have a visitor”, he said and smiled at Robin. “Hello Miss.” Robin greeted him before he turned to Strike. “How are you Mr Strike? I heard you were quite busy today. Running through the hospital, staying out of bed nearly all day. I have to check your stitches for a moment.” 

Robin stood up and left the two men alone for a moment while grabbing a cup of tea downstairs.  

“How are you feeling?” The Doctor helped him undress and unwrapped the bandage before looking at the stitches. “Are you in pain?” 

“At the moment, a bit”, Cormoran admitted. “The stitches are itching.” 

“That’s good it means they heal. The wound looks good. Nothing is infected. How’s your leg?” 

“Better”, he lied. 

“Good. Well I think if you feel good, you can be discharged in the next days, if you want.” 

“Sounds good to me”, Strike said. 

“No wild chasings through London and no heavy lifting or anything too exhausting though, ok?” 

Strike smiled. Was this how people thought he would work? 

“Alright”, Strike agreed. 

“I’ll give you some pain killers you can take when the pain will be too permanent. Only 3 per day and no alcohol while taking them.” 

Strike nodded while the Doctor made a note into his files.  

“Thank you Doctor”, Strike said and shook the man’s hand. 

“You’re welcome Mr Strike. You know, if it gets worse, just call for someone.” 

“I will.” 

After the Doctor had left, Robin returned and sat down beside him. She could still feel his anger and they stayed silent for a while. 

“I’m sorry”, he said. “It’s been a long day for both of us.” 

“No need to be sorry. I better go. It’s late and you should rest. You look as if you need some rest.” 

“So do you”, he said. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine”, she said and kissed him on the forehead before she left. “Goodnight Cormoran.” 

“Night Robin. Stay safe.” 

She smiled before she closed the door behind him and he sank back into the cushions.  

 

 _A few days later_  

It was late once more when the Doctor checked on him. 

“How are you feeling today Mr Strike?” 

“I’m good”, he said, although he had been in quite a lot of pain the last days.  

“Your chart tells me a complete different story. The nurse gave you more morphine the last days then before and your lab results aren’t too good either.” 

“I gotta get out of here Doctor. I’ve this case and my partner she... I think she might be in trouble.” 

“I understand. I truly do.” He could see the young man thinking about the situation. “I can let you go. If you promise to come back if you feel the slightest of changes. I’ll also write you a prescription for some heavy pain killers. You’re not allowed to take more than 3 per day and no alcohol while taking them!” Strike nodded. “I’ll check on your stitches again.” 

He helped Strike undress and checked on the wound. Strike flinched a bit but the Doctor knew it was normal at this stage of healing. 

“It’s going to be a nice scar. You won’t really see it when it’s healed. No infection or signs of problems. That’s good.” He bandaged the wound once more. “You’ll have to change the bandages daily and stitches should be removed in about a week.” 

The young man wrote said prescription and the date for the appointment and handed him both. 

“I’ll be there”, he promised and thanked the young man once more when it knocked. Robin stepped in. 

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude”, she said when she saw that the Doctor was still with him and he was half naked. 

“No no, it’s fine Miss. We’re done here”, he said, smiled at her and left with a last goodbye to the Detective. Strike sat on the edge of the bed, got up and grabbed some clothes from the bag on the other chair. He headed to the small bathroom and changed. When he entered the room again, Robin was waiting for him in one of the chairs. She look at him confused and why he was dressed.  

“What are you doing?”, she asked. 

“I got discharged.”  

“So soon?” He nodded. “Ok…” 

Robin called them a cab and took the small bag before they were heading downstairs. The police officer followed them and when they entered the cab Strike could see him call someone. Robin waited for him and helped him where she could. During their drive to Denmark Street his partner silently informed him about some things he wanted to know of the office. It was late when they arrived and Strike needed longer than usual to climb up the stairs to his flat. She had called Wardle and asked if they could use the bedroom again and he had agreed because forensics had been done with everything that day. So when she opened the door she saw the mess they had made. The whole flat had been turned upside down. Shit. She probably should have cleaned up before coming back. Strike sank on one of the kitchen chairs after he had hung up his coat and looked around. His boys and he hand never left such a mess after searching through a flat. Robin put the bag down and started to put things back where they belonged and to clean up. 

“Robin, you don’t have to do this.” 

“Well I can’t let it like this, can I?”, she smiled and ignored his protest before continuing. 

He looked at her, deep in thoughts. She was wearing a dark green dress that was very elegant and business like. Like usual her High Heels made her legs even look longer and she had put her hair up. She looked beautiful but still seemed sad.  

“What did Ilsa say?”, he asked.  

It wasn’t a decent question, he knew that but he truly was curious and they both were past the usual small talk.  

“She’s helping me with the divorce.” 

“Are you truly sure about that?” 

“I am”, she said and turned around to look straight at him. “I’m past this. I’m past him. He disappointed me too many times.” 

Strike too looked at her but didn’t say anything. Her eyes locked and he could feel her blush slightly. Robin turned away again and continued. She was sure that this was it. Matthew had failed her when she most needed him and had cheated on her, not only once but twice. She was sure though, that it had been several other occasions. He had lied; he had blamed her that she had lost the baby. He had wanted her to work in a decent, boring job. Give up her passion. They had drifted apart years ago but she had just been too blind to see it. She kept herself busy while cleaning up. Cormoran stayed on the sofa and after a while, fell asleep. Robin last headed to the bedroom. The covers where still stained in blood. Robin opened the window to let out the smell of blood before she changed the bed and put on the washing machine. She wanted all those memories gone. When she returned into the other room she saw Cormoran sitting on the sofa, fast asleep. Smiling she looked at him. He was pale and looked exhausted. She stepped closer and let her fingertips slide over his cheek. She was glad that he was getting better and that he was still alive. He needed to rest though.  

“Cormoran.” He mumbled her name. “Cormoran wake up.” 

He blinked sleepily at her and after a while she just realised why he was this sleepy. Apparently he had taken two heavy pain killers with a glass of Whiskey. Impossible man… She helped him up and walked him to his bedroom. 

“C’mon let’s get you into bed. You need to rest.” 

He was heavier than she thought and they more stumbled than walked to the other room. She turned on the bedside lamp and he heavily sat on the bed. Strike mumbled something she didn’t understand and took her hand before pulling her closer and hugging her, his head resting against her belly. What was he doing? 

“Cormoran what are you doing?”, she asked softly and ruffled his dark hair gently, but was still startled by this strange behavior.  

“I don’t ever want you to go”, he said softly and held her tight.  

“I won’t. I’m your partner, remember?” 

“Stay”, he said and pulled her to him on the bed. 

Robin stumbled by his strong grip and fell on him. She was kneeing over him, her hands on his strong shoulders, while he still held her tight, sitting on the bed. This was strange, why was he doing this?  

“Cormoran, please let me go. You need to rest”, she said once more and softly pushed against his chest while he let go of her hip and his hands started moving over her tights. “Cormoran! Stop this, you’re not yourself.” 

“ ’am”, he mumbled and looked her into her eyes. 

She could see the adoration and love in his eyes and was shocked. Did he have feelings for her after all? After all this time they just settled that they were friends? No impossible. It had to be the pain killers and the alcohol. She once more pushed against his chest and this time he let go and she stood up. Confused she looked at the man, sitting on the bed, watching her. She saw that he was not in the state to undress or do anything himself right now so she helped him. 

“Now, c’mon help me a bit here or we will never get to bed.” 

He grumbled and helped her with his pullover and Shirt before she handed him an old T-Shirt that was tossed over the chair in the corner. She curiously looked at him. He had broad shoulders and thick, muscular arms and his chest, arms and abdomen were covered in curly dark hair. He staggered up and fumbled at his belt. Robin laughed and helped him while he had an arm around her waist to not fall down on the bed again. His trousers slide to the floor and she helped him sit down again before getting on her knees and helping him step outside.  

“Robin…”, he mumbled. 

“What is it Cormoran?”, she said still kneeing on his side and looking at him once more.  

“I… I don’t feel very well”, he said. 

“I know.” 

“I’m sad Robin.” 

“Sad?”, she asked while looking at his leg and how she was supposed to put it off. 

“Sad”, he confirmed. “Sad, that you’re sad.” 

“I’m not sad Cormoran”, she lied.  

“You’re. You’re sad. Because of Matthew”, he guessed.  

She stayed silent and still looked at his prosthesis. How did she get this thing off?  

“Cormoran, how do I get this off?”, she said and tried to distract him. 

He fumbled a while at his prosthesis and after a few minutes popped it off. He smiled tiredly and she leaned it against the small dresser beside the bed.  

“Now c’mon off to bed.”  

He lay down in his favourite position.  

“Where will you sleep?”, he asked his eyes already closed. 

“In the other room, on the camping bed. Goodnight Cormoran.” 

“Night Robin”, he mumbled.  

She closed the door and sank a moment against it. What was all this? Exhausted she changed into something comfortable and slid into the warm sleeping bag Strike used to use. It smelled like him and Robin smiled before she closed her eyes and fell in a dreamless sleep. 

 

It was late when Strike woke up the next day. He had a heavy headache and his pain was back. Damn he shouldn’t have taken two pills and alcohol last night. Like the Doctor had said. He waited and thought about what had happen. Then he remembered. Fuck! He got up, grabbed his leg and put it on. Goddamn it, what had he thought! He walked to his bedroom door and looked out. 

“Robin?”, he asked into the other room but didn’t received an answer.

Hurriedly he slipped into some Jeans and got into the kitchen. Oh gosh. Now they really needed to talk. He made himself a cup of tea before he headed downstairs. 

“Morning”, he greeted cautiously when he entered the office. 

“Morning”, she said but didn’t look up from the mail she was writing.

There were no clients so he sat on the battered leather sofa and watched her before she looked up and smiled.

“How are you?”, she asked. 

“I’m good.” She did not mention last night, so he would stick to it for now and stay silent. “How’s the day looking?”

“Just got a call from a possible new client, she wants to meet up, a Mrs Smith. She’ll be here around 3pm. Then the wife of Mad Dad called and wants to know if we have any news on her case. DI Wardle was here and said they are following another lead on Laing. Shanker called as well, you have to call him back. Then I’ll do the observation of Mad Dad and that’s it for today.” 

He nodded and sipped on his tea. 

“You’re sure you alright?”, she asked when she noticed how absent he truly was.

“Yeah sure. Robin, about last night”, he then said against his intentions. “I’m sorry. I was kinda drugged”, he joked and she laughed.

“It’s fine.” Strike didn’t look convinced at all. “Really it’s fine Cormoran. But don’t ever make me put the leg away. I have no clue how this works.”

Both of them laughed and the tension that had been between them was gone. See, Robin told herself, still friends like usual. 

The next weeks passed very quickly and both of them developed their own routine around each other while Robin still lived at his place. She wanted to leave but never found a suitable place. Plus there where the long nights and days she worked and the money problem she still had. Matthew kept phoning and she still regularly met up with Strike’s lawyer friend Ilsa to sort this out. But apparently Matthew was not ready to let her go so fast and kept refusing to sign the divorce papers. Strike got better and his wound healed properly. He didn’t mind having Robin around at all. On the contrary, he felt strange when she wasn’t by his side. Laing was still on the run and no one, not even Shankers boys – could find this maniac. After a while the tabloids stopped writing about Strike and the business went normal as usual. 


	5. Chapter 5

It was a late Friday evening in November and it had started snowing when Strike returned from a late observation. Soaked and cold he entered his small flat and was surprised to find Robin cocking. They usually never had time for this with all their work. For the first time in ages she seemed happier and in a good mood. Was there a development with Matthew? 

“This smells fantastic!”, he admitted while putting up his coat. “What is this?”, Strike then asked while he had stepped closer and curiously looked into the pan.  

“Chicken breast in wine with vegetables and rice.” 

“Sounds lovely”, he admitted.  

She smiled and continued her cooking. She was dressed in simple black pants, a black top and a comfortable grey cardigan, her hair still wet and her cheeks blushed.  

“You should probably get changed or you’ll catch a cold”, she simply said while he looked at today’s mail.  

He grunted for an answer and opened a letter from the bank. They were informing him, that his rent was overdue. Shit, he completely forgot to pay them. He’d probably do it tomorrow. Deep in thoughts he went to the bathroom where he took a hot shower and shaved. He hadn’t bothered with shaving in weeks and soon it had become a habit that he wore a short beard. No one seemed to care so he simply did it. He shaved quickly and dressed into some old jeans, a t-shirt and a comfortable, warm pullover. When he returned and sat down, Robin handed him a glass of white wine and put a big plate in front of him.  

“Thanks”, he said and started eating hungrily. 

Robin looked at him, amused by his appetite before she had something herself. It was even more delicious than it had sounded and smelled. Strike loved good food. This was definitely one of his new favourites.  

“I had no idea that you can cook this good or I would have chained you to my kitchen by now”, he said smiling and Robin laughed slightly.  

“Well then I’m glad you never knew.” 

They ate in silence and Robin thought about her appointment with Ilsa. The lawyer had told her, that it would be hard. Matthew wouldn’t sign and he wasn’t willing to give her anything of the flat nor the money they both had saved for their honeymoon. Well, Robin didn’t really care. It would have made things for her new start easier but she could handle things on her own. She had told Ilsa that. The lawyer was a nice, young woman herself. Married and a baby on the way. She had begged Robin not to tell Cormoran though. He apparently wasn’t into children at all. The lawyer understood that Robin just wanted to deal with this and start a new life but she also made her see that she had some rights and some saying in all this. Blindly accepting Matthews offers, wouldn’t make things easier and deep down Robin knew she was right. So they had decided to fight against all this together. She understood why Cormoran liked Ilsa and was thankfully that he suggested his friend for help. They ate in silence and afterwards Robin did some research for one of their cases online while Strike lay on the sofa and rested for a while. He had been out the whole day and his leg hurt from all the running through London. He was following a lead on Laing and had done some observations. But still the ex-soldier stayed hidden and seemed to have vanished.  

Strike also thought about how his relationship with Robin had developed. They both got even more comfortable with each other’s presence and you could probably say that they were best friends and partners. They shared the flat and he tried to help her picking up the pieces Matthew had left. But it was hard. He could see her fall apart again every time this bastard texted or called. He truly was astonished by how strong she was. By how good she seemed to deal with this whole situation.  

“Penny for your thoughts”, he heard her saying. 

Cormoran hadn’t been aware that he was looking straight at her the whole time. He cleared his throat and looked into her wonderful eyes.  

“I was just thinking about a client. The one, whose daughter vanished. I can’t shake the thought off that Laing has something to do with it. The man had shown me a picture of her. She is beautiful and exactly Laing’s MO. Plus he told me that Clara would never just vanish and run away. I believed him. I need to call Wardle. Excuse me”, he then said somehow nervous and left the flat. Strike headed down to their office and called the DI. 

“Wardle.” 

“Strike here. I have a suspicion whom this leg might belong to”, he said and told Wardle the whole story about missing Clara. 

“Fuck…”, Wardle murmured after he had heard everything. “I’ll tell forensics to check the DNA.” 

“Any news on Laing?” 

“No. None. He is gone Strike. He probably left the country.” 

“No, he’s no coward Eric. He’s still here.” 

“I can’t stretch this investigations. My superiors think I'm just do you a favor with this. We have to move on. I’m sorry mate.” 

“Just check the leg, will ya?” 

“Will do. Gotta go now”, Wardle said and hung up. 

Strike stood in the dark of their office and looked down to the streets, thinking about this case and the connections when he saw a dark figure in one of the entrances of the houses opposite his. He turned away and got back to his flat while his thoughts drifted to the figure again. Once more he looked out of the window and the figure was still there. He man looked faintly familiar. He called Shanker and asked if it was one of his boys but he answered no. Fuck.. Laing. His phone rang and an unknown number popped up on the screen. He took the call. 

“Are you afraid?”, he heard the familiar voice of Laing on the other end. 

“No”, the Detective answered truthfully. 

“I thought I would have killed you. Nearly was out of the country when I read the papers that you survived.” 

“Well what a disappointment it must have been for you, not being able to kill a cripple.” 

“It was”, Laing laughed. “How’s your girlfriend by the way? I read all about you two in the papers. Very romantic, didn’t thought you had it in you after you were alone for so long.” 

It was true. He had been alone. After his break up with Elin he had stayed alone. A shag now and then yes, but nothing serious. Now with the paper’s all gossiping about him and Robin… He knew that this made her even a more attractive target to Laing. Mostly because he still wanted revenge. He truly wished he could keep Robin safe this time.  

“What do you want?”, Strike then grumbled into the phone. 

He was tired of Laing's threats and pointless comments about his life and the people he cared about. He just wanted this to be over for good. Laing laughed. 

“You know what I want. You know what I will do. I’m gonna destroy your business, your life and your girlfriend and I will enjoy it.” 

Without another word Strike hung up, smashed his fist against the wall and let out a sound of frustration. Robin curiously looked up and at him. He had his back turned to her so she didn’t see his face. He clenched the phone in his hands and breathed heavily. He hadn’t felt this angry and helpless since Whittaker had killed his mum.  

“Cormoran?”, he heard Robin ask beside him. “Are you alright?” 

He could feel her hand on his arm, her warmth beside him. He stepped away. Not now, Strike thought and walked to the door.  

“Cormoran, please. Talk to me”, she said but he stayed silent, took his coat and left the tiny attic flat. Deep in his thoughts Strike wandered through the dark streets of London, soon completely drenched from the heavy rain. He ignored the pain in his leg and the steady vibration in his pocket where his mobile was beeping. He knew it was Robin and he knew he shouldn’t be out. Not after Laings call and the fact that this manic had watched the building in Denmark Street, but he couldn’t care less. He always felt some sort of peace and calm while walking through the nearly empty and dark London Streets. After getting his thoughts sorted out, he stopped in a pub, found a small table and started drinking.  

 

Irritated by his behaviour Robin just looked at the closed door where he had left. What the hell was going on? She hadn’t seen him this angry. She was sure, he’d do something stupid in his current state. Robin fumbled for her mobile phone and called Shanker. 

“Robin, what can I do for ya?”, he said happily that she called.  

“It’s Strike”, she explained. “He got a call from someone and just left. I have never seen him this angry. Shanker, I’m worried.” 

“No need to worry Robin, I’m sure he can keep care of himself.” 

“I’m not sure he can, Shanker. Not with Laing still on the loose. This man… He really got under Strike’s skin.” 

“Yes I know”, said Shanker finally. “I’ll look after him Robin. I’ll call you when I found him” 

“Thank you Shanker. I appreciate your help.” 

“Always. Your Bunsen’s friend.” 

Without another word he hung up and Robin looked out of the window. Where was he and what was going on? She too saw a hooded figure in the doorway of the opposite building and kept watching it. After a while the figure left and she didn’t think about it anymore. Her phone buzzed and she picked it up. 

“Robin”, she answered the call.  

“It’s me”, she heard Strikes dark voice at the other end of the line. 

“Cormoran, are you alright?”, she asked immediately.  

“Yes I’m fine. Can you look something up?” 

“Sure, what do you need?” 

“Find out if Clara had any contacts in the amputee forum we checked during the severed leg case.” 

“Why do you think so?” 

“I don’t know, just a feeling..”, he said and ended the call. 

Bugger, thought Robin but got to work as he had asked.  

 

Strike stood outside the pub and smoked. Robin was too worried about him. She was too involved. He couldn’t let this happen, he had to do something. He smoked and looked down the street. Nothing suspicious for the moment. Apparently their little game seemed to continue. Strike re-entered the pub and ordered another pint. He now sat at the bar and drank, his leg still hurt and his thoughts continued to glide to Laing and Robin when his phone rang again.  

“Yes”, he answered Robins call. 

“I got news. Apparently Clara and Kelsey where in the same class at school. I looked up her Twitter account and they both seemed to be friends. After Kelsey’s dead Clara was devastated and never returned. Until 3 weeks ago. She wrote a small thread about what had happened the last year and then promised her followers to be more active again. The last entry was from the day before she went missing. She tweeted _“I feel like I’m being followed lately, must be my imagination tho”_. I don’t think it was something she made up. She was followed Cormoran, I’m sure.” 

“Hm..”, he grumbled into the phone and took another sip.  

Robin could hear loud chatter and music in the background. She supposed he was in a pub.  

“I’m not sure how we do go on, Robin”, Strike admitted. “All of this… It’s a complete mess.” 

His voice was unclear and his accent was definitely showing this time. He’s drunk, Robin deduced and already grabbed her coat while he was still on the phone.  

“We’ll find a solution for this. Wardle knows what’s going on, I called him. I’m sure he can help us with this case.” 

“It’s not just the case”, Strike sighed drunkenly and rubbed his tired eyes.  

“Cormoran what are you…” 

He hung up before she could ask the question. Goddamn. He really did fuck this up. From day one, he had told himself to keep all this professional and he had failed miserably. He just managed to make her a target a second time. He ordered another pint when Shanker sat beside him. 

“What are you doing here?”, he asked the other man a bit unclear.  

“Robin called”, Shanker just said. “She was worried about you Bunsen. What’s going on?” 

“Laing called again. He was watching the flat and threatened me once more.” 

“And what’s going on between you an’ the girl?” 

“Nothing”, Strike mumbled. “Nothing at all.” 

“Tell her”, the other man then said. “She’s a clever girl, she’ll find out eventually.” 

“I think she already knows”, Cormoran admitted devastated and remembered the evening in his bedroom. 

“Yet she’s still ‘ere.” 

“I can’t Shanker. I told you why. I told you all of it...” 

“But things change Bunsen.” 

“Not this time!”, Strike said, angry now and Shanker stayed silent this time before the Detective finished and ordered another beer.  

An hour later – Shanker had left him again – Robin entered the pub and headed towards him. He just smiled at her drunkenly and scrutinized her from head to toe. She was still wearing the black pants and just had thrown her coat over all this. Without a word she just sat down and looked at him.  

Concern, curiosity and there was something more in her eyes he couldn’t quite make out.  

“How did you find me?” 

“I got trained by a very good Detective”, she said mockingly and waited once more. 

“Anything to drink?”, the owner asked and stepped to them. 

“Another beer!”, ordered the Detective and a few seconds later another Doom Bar stood in front of him.  

“You should not drink this much.” 

“Right now”, he said. “I don’t give a fuck what I should and shouldn’t do.” 

Still angry, Robin deduced and stayed silent while ordering a glass of white wine. They stayed until the owner kicked them out when Strike wanted to smoke inside. He swore under his breath while leaving the pub and lighting up a cigarette. Silently they walked back to the flat where Matthew was waiting by the front door. 

“Robin, I want to talk”, he said before she could react. “Please, hear me out.” 

Strike fumbled for his keys and after a while he let himself in and headed up. He knew that Robin would forgive Matthew. Robin waited by the door.  

“What do you wanna talk about? There’s nothing left. I told you all there was. Leave me alone Matthew.” 

“But Robin, please. I… I wanted to apologize. I’ve been an arse. I didn’t appreciate you. I was jealous of your boss and I was afraid he’d make a move on you.” 

“He wouldn’t, we’re friends and partners Matthew. But I think that’s a thing you never understood. You cheated on me! With Sarah! Twice!”, she now screamed at him and they both had headed into the hallway of number six. Strike was at the top staircase and could hear every word.  

“I love you Robin. Still do. Don’t you love me anymore?” 

“I forgave you Matthew. I worked hard to trust you again and then… You betrayed my trust again!” 

Robin started to cry and he wanted to take her hand but she stepped back. If he would touch her now, she was sure she would forgive him. After all she still did love Matthew. He had always been there for her and has been by her side but… No, that was not quite true, she imagined sadly. He had failed her in the moments she needed him the most.  

“I was sad Robin, I felt so alone! I told you..” 

“I don’t wanna hear it”, the young woman interrupted her ex-fiancé. “Sign the papers Matthew. That’s the only thing I want from you right now.” 

Robin turned and hurried up the stairs and in the flat of the Detective. She bumped into his broad frame. Strike stood right behind the door. Fixated on something in front of him. 

“Corm..” He turned around and hurriedly shoved her out of the flat again. “Cormoran, what is it?” 

He pulled the mobile phone out of his pocket and called Wardle. 

“Wardle”, the DI answered the call in a sleepy voice. 

“Come over here”, ordered the Detective. “Now!” 

He didn’t felt drunk nor sleepy anymore. He was wide awake. 

“Laing”, he said to Robin, who was still waiting. “I don’t want you to see it, this is horrible.” 

Robin trusted his judgement completely and for once, did as he said. 

“Go into the office and wait there for me.” 

Strike entered his flat again and closed the door once more. He grabbed one of Robins' bags, shoved some clothes into one of his and left the flat again. They couldn’t stay here. Not tonight. On his way downstairs, he called Ilsa and Nick. 

“Yes?”, Nick answered the phone sleepily.  

Apparently he too had been asleep already and just now Strike realised what time it was. 

“I’m sorry to call you this late”, he said. “But Robin and I need a place to stay. Something happened. Can we come to your place?” 

“Sure mate, whatever you need. When will you be here?”  

“I’ll send Robin over with a cab. She’ll be there soon. I’ve to wait for the police to arrive first.” 

“Right… I’ll wait mate”, Nick said and hung up. 

Strike then called a cab and headed back to Robin. She was impatiently waiting in the office.  

“Here’s some money. I want you to go to Nick and Ilsa’s and stay there. I have to wait here for Wardle.” 

“Is it another body part?” 

He nodded but didn’t say anything specific. Robin sighed and took her bag before they both headed downstairs again. Matthew was gone and she truly was thankful for that. The cab was there a minute later and Robin drove off, just when Wardle and a young police woman arrived with forensics.  

“My flat again”, said Strike tired. “It’s bad this time.” 

Wardle and his team headed upstairs while Strike lit up another cigarette and waited. His phone rang and he answered the call silently. 

“Did you like my little present?”, he heard Laing say.  

“I get it, don’t think I’m stupid”, Strike shouted at him. “What the fuck do you want? How can we end this? I’m getting tired of your stupid games.” 

“And I’m rather enjoying it right now. We can’t end this”, Laing said after a minute of silence. “Not this time. Oh by the way, Robin seemed very worried when she left the cab just now. Didn’t you tell her? What you found?” 

Strike hung up and immediately called Robin. She picked up. 

“Cormoran?” 

“Are you alright? Are you at Ilsa’ and Nicks’ already?” 

“Yes I am. We were just about to head to bed. Is everything at the office sorted?” 

“It’ll still take time I suppose. I will see you tomorrow. Be careful. Laing is watching you.” 

“Ok. Goodnight.” 

“Night”, he said and ended the call.  

At least she was safe. He headed back upstairs where Wardle was waiting for him.  

“Fucking hell”, he mumbled when Strike stood beside him. “This is bad.” 

“It is.” 

“Looks like a fucking slaughterhouse in there.” 

Strike remembered the scene and agreed. When he had entered the flat he had found the rest of the body of missing Clara. The leg they had found was missing and the other limbs where severed too. There was blood everywhere and Strike had found a handwritten message in all this mess.  _SHE IS NEXT._     
He knew that Laing had meant Robin, so it had been his first reflex to keep her safe. He felt sorry for the girl’s parents. He was sure they’d never be able to deal with this properly. He had seen many families ripped apart by a death or tragedy.  

“Where’s Robin?”, Wardle then asked. 

“She’s with some friends.” 

“How’s she dealing with this?” 

“Oh I didn’t let her in. Not after the second leg. I know she couldn’t deal with it right now. Too much other stuff that’s going on”, Strike mumbled. “Do you need me being here?” 

“I do in fact”, Wardle said. “Still need your statement and fingerprints.” 

They headed to the office where Strike opened up two bottles of beer and they sat down while Wardle’s colleague wrote everything down. The sun rose over the first rooftops when Strike finally was alone again and sank into his chair in the inner office. The police was still rummaging in his flat and the other room. Tired and still drunk he slumped back and closed his eyes for a second to think about what to do next. Things could not go on like this. He had to deal with Laing on his own. Outside the law and this was Shanker’s world. He’d talk to him later. For now he just wanted some peace and quiet. Just a few minutes… 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Ilsa are in this *excited* I liked them in the books immediately, so they'll be in this story for a great deal from now on :) 
> 
> Thanks again for all the lovely comments *hugs*

It was late in the morning when Robin woke in the comfortable bed of Nick and Ilsas’ guestroom. She picked up her phone and looked at it, if she had any new messages of Strike. Nothing, just a few texts from Matthew. She ignored them and got up. After a relaxing shower and a wonderful breakfast Nick had prepared, she took the next tube to the office. There where policemen, forensics and press all over the place. Robin quickly got in after Wardle saw her.

“Where’s Strike?”, she asked while he showed her in, quickly passing through the crowd of press waiting for some information. 

“In his office. We’re not finished yet. This will still take some time.”

“Thanks Wardle”, she said and entered their office and headed to his office.

She softly knocked and stepped in. 

“Cormoran, there…”, she stopped immediately before she silently closed the door. 

He was asleep in his chair. She smiled. He looked way younger than he usually did. His breath was steady and he seemed very peaceful. Robin grabbed a blanket and carefully put it over him. She remembered this. There had been a scene like this before. During the case with Laing. He sighed and mumbled something she couldn’t understand before Robin left him again. She was sure he hadn’t slept the whole night so a bit of rest, even if it wasn’t as comfortable as a bed, would do him good. Wardle stepped to her and asked her to take her fingerprints too. To exclude them from possible prints of Laing, he explained.  After this procedure she stayed on the leather sofa for a while and tried to do some more research on their case but couldn’t concentrate with all the officers and people from forensics stepping in and out all the time. She closed her laptop and silently got into Strike’s office again. She sat on the chair opposite his desk and started again. But soon she was distracted by her sleeping boss. Deep in her thoughts Robin looked at his sleeping figure. Over the past years she understood why women liked him. She had never thought about him in this way, although Matthew had been afraid about this. He always had seen Strike as an opponent. She had found a dear friend instead. Robin felt that something had changed though. She could never put her finger on it what had changed. She had thought it was just their developing friendship. But now, that she lived with him, that they shared a flat, she knew. She had started fallen for him. It had been a slow and hidden process over the last months and maybe even years? She wasn’t sure. What Robin was sure about, was the fact that he must have had feelings too. Otherwise he wouldn’t have clung to her like this when she had brought him to bed. He hid it well, tried to avoid all this. But sometimes he failed so miserably that she saw what he truly thought instead. But then Robin wasn’t sure why he did hide his feelings. Why he tried to avoid her sometimes. Maybe he had a girlfriend? Or he thought that she wasn’t interested or the right one after all. Yes, that probably was it. Robin sighed and looked at his face again. But something… She startled when he mumbled her name. She had no idea that he talked in his sleep. 

“No… not Robin”, he mumbled. 

Oh… So she was right after all… Not Robin. Somehow sad she turned away and started with her research again. Not Robin, those two words burned inside of her and some tears stole their way down her cheeks. She was stupid to think that a man like him would find her attractive and would want her after all. She was damaged and not good for him. Just his partner, a friend from work. 

_Strike ran through some dimly lit alleys in London. He_ _shouted for Robin. She was gone and he was sure Laing had her._ _His mobile rang and he took the call._

_“I got her. You know what I will do to her now?”, he heard Laing’s cold voice at the other end._

_“No.. Not Robin! Take me and leave her out of this you bastard!”, he said desperate._

_“I’m sure you’ll find her soon. Or some parts of her at least..”_

_Laing hung up and Strike shouted his anger in the dark night. Where was she? He kept running. Running until it was morning. Somehow he was back at his office. He could hear her voice saying his name._

_“Robin where are you?”, he shouted again and – after she was nowhere to be found in the office – headed upstairs to his flat._

_On the stairs he saw blood. Glistening, fresh blood… No_ _,_ _this can’t be! No_ _no_ _no_ _… He headed upstairs, following the trail of red to his bedroom. He opened the door and saw it. There she was. Her beautiful body dismembered, her hair spread on his pillow and she looked right at him. No! Crying he broke down on the floor. When he looked up again the scene had changed and he was in the flat again where he had lived with his mum when he was a teen. He kneeled beside his mother now. A needle in her vein, pale... He took her hand. She was cold but still so beautiful._

_“Mum?”, he mumbled and stroke her cheek. “Mum, please wake up. Don’t leave me now.”_

_I_ _t_ _still hurt. When he looked at her face once more, it was Robin’s again. Her lips parted and she talked to him._

_“Don’t let me down_ _Cormoran_ _. You did once, remember? You nearly got me killed. Don’t do it again.”_

_“I won’t! I promise”, he said desperately._

_“You’re lying, don’t you?”_

“ _No! No, I don’t Robin. I’ll keep you safe. I swear.”_

_“Tell her darling”, he heard his mother’s voice behind her and could fee_ _l a small hand on his shoulder and looked up to her._

_There she was, as beautiful and loving as he remembered her, dressed in a red floral dress, her hair open like she used to wear it and_ _a_ _tender and understanding smile on her face._

_“Tell her how you feel. You may have not the time later.”_

_“But I don’t know how she feels”, he said, still holding Robin’s hand._

_This time it was cold and when he looked up once more he was back in his bedroom, only holding her cut off_ _arm._ _Cormoran_ _let it go and stepped a bit back, still shocked._

_“It’s not important how she feels. It’s just important that she knows. I told you, you’ll find someone you’ll love as deeply as I did.”_

_“But I’m afraid she’ll shove me away once she knows. I love her too much. I could not bear_ _losing_ _her.”_

_“Tell her.”_

_“Yes, tell me_ _Cormoran_ _”, Robin said._

_“But tell her before I cut her into little bits”, he heard Laing and saw him_ _standing beside Robin’s body pieces, with_ _a bloody_ _knif_ _e in his hands._

Strike bolted upright. Heavily panting, tears on his cheek. Confused he looked around where he was. His office but... He saw Robin sitting opposite of him at his desk, looking curiously at him. 

“Are you alright?”, she asked and looked at his tear-stained face.

“Yeah”, he said in a dark, raspy voice. “I’m fine. It was just a weird dream.”

A blanked lay on the floor and he picked it up before heaving his heavy body up and stepping to the window. He opened it and pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his pockets. Jeez… With a soft shaking of his hands, he lit it up and smoked it silently while looking out. Fucking hell, this had been an intense dream. He could feel Robins look at him but didn’t turn around. He could not face her right now. What shocked him the most was not the fact that he has had such a dream, but that he had admitted to himself once more, that he loved Robin. He couldn’t tell her. He wouldn’t tell her. Strike finished his cigarette and then turned to her. She still looked at him, concerned and in her thoughts. 

“Are Wardle and his men gone?”

“No”, she said and hurriedly looked at her laptop again. 

“Have you eaten?”, he asked.

“Yes. Nick makes a fantastic breakfast”, Robin admitted. “What about you? You should get some food and rest.”

 “I’m fine”, he simply said and left the room to look for Wardle. 

“Jeez mate, did you got hit by a truck?”, Wardle immediately said when he entered the other room. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks mate”, Strike said sarcastic. “How are things here?”

“We can’t do all today. Plus officially we have to close this flat. Do you have some place to stay?”

“Yes, some friends. They already expect us.”

“Well then maybe you should go to them”, Wardle said. “You can’t do anything here and you really look like shit. Get some rest.”

“Alright. Call me if you’ve any news.” Wardle promised and Strike headed back to Robin. “We can’t do anything here. We should head to Ilsa and Nick.”

“Sure”, she said, grabbed her bag and followed him outside.

They didn’t talk on their way to his friends’ place and he kept his distance, attentive not to touch her by accident. When they entered Ilsa was already waiting for them.

“Oh Corm.. You look horrible. Didn’t you sleep at all?”

He grumbled and they headed to the kitchen where Nick was cooking. Apparently they both had the day off, then he realised that it was Friday and already past midday. Nick stepped to him.

“Let me give you a hand with this”, he said and took Strike’s bag away while the Detective got rid of his coat and sat on a chair by the kitchen counter. Robin sat beside him and gladly accepted a cup of coffee. Strike declined. He needed something stronger.

“What is it?”, asked Robin after a while.

“What do you mean?”

“You seem different since you woke up. Is everything alright?”

“Yes I’m fine.”

Robin knew he lied, stayed silent though. She didn’t want to argue with him. Not in their current situation. Not when he was like this. Strike stood up again and went to the terrace to smoke another cigarette. 

“What’s going on with him? I haven’t seen him like this in years”, Nick asked Ilsa and Robin when he got back. “He looks horrible.”

“I don’t know”, Robin admitted worriedly. 

Ilsa scrutinized the young woman before she prepared the tea and Robin blushed. Had Strike told his friends something? She watched the Detective through the glass and thought about what was going on with him when the lawyer interrupted her thoughts. 

“Matthews lawyer called me today. He wants us to meet with him and your husband.”

“Why?”

“To discuss the terms of the divorce. Apparently he accepted.”

“No, he didn’t. He told me so himself last night.”

“He showed up at the office?”, Ilsa asked curious. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did he threaten you?”

“I forgot it over all this police stuff”, she mumbled apologetically. “No, he didn’t threaten me. He just wanted to apologise.”

“Probably a thing his lawyer told him. Sneaky bastard that one. I met him before in court. Never loses a case.”

“Oh.. That doesn’t sound good for us then”, Robin admitted.

“No but there’s a first time for anything right? It’s time to kick his arrogant arse.”

Robin laughed. She liked Ilsa for her optimism and good mood and she was thankful that she helped her. After the tea was finished, Robin and Ilsa headed into the lawyer’s study to discuss the case further. Strike smoked and thought about the last days when Nick stepped beside him.

“How are you mate?”

“I’m fine”, he said. 

“You don’t look fine.” Cormoran grumbled. “What is it mate? Is it something with Robin?”

“This has nothing to do with Robin!”, he furiously answered.

“Alright”, Nick said apologetically and made a calming gesture with his hands before he headed inside. 

Fuck! He loved Ilsa and Nick. They were his best mates here in London but sometimes they were just too curious and concerned. Gosh he shouldn’t have lost control. Strike needed some sleep. After he finished his cigarette he stepped inside again, seeing that Robin and Ilsa had left. He stepped to Nick and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I’m just tired…”

He let his hand slide over his tired face. He needed a shower, a shave, some sleep and a drink very badly. Nick knew what he wanted so he poured the Detective a glass of Whiskey. Strike sat on the bar and drank it while he told his mate what made him worry. He didn’t mention that he had deeper feelings for his partner, although he suspected that they both already knew. 

“You know I’m worried that I can’t keep her safe. Laing is threatening me in his phone calls. He’s very good and this psychological aspect of this game. I’m just worried and tired.”

“Don’t worry too much Cormoran”, his fiend said reassuring. “You are a good investigator; you’ll catch him and keep her safe. And you’ve Wardle on your side. He seems to be a very good police officer.”

“Yes, you’re possible right”, Cormoran tried to calm himself but it would not fully work. 

“I made the bed up for you. Problem is we’re re-decorating our second guest-room a bit so you and Robin have to share the room.” Shit! “And the bed”, Nick apologized. “Robin doesn’t mind. I asked her already. So…” 

"I’ll sleep on the sofa”, Strike said forcefully before he went to the small guestroom to grab some fresh clothes and take a shower.

Gosh this felt so good, he thought when he stood under the warm water, forgetting his troubles for a bit. After a shower and a shave, he headed back to the kitchen. Nick wasn’t here. He was in the other guest room working on something. Strike wouldn’t bother him and headed to the sofa. His leg hurt him once more so he decided to lay down a bit and rest.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter one this time, but some memories by Robin this time.   
> I'm sure you guys had found out by now, that I hate Matthew with all my heart, so after this chapter, I'm sure you will too.  
> Oh and some more Shanker, because I adore him :)

It was late when Robin and Ilsa remerged from her office and headed to Nick. He was preparing the other guest room. They had decided to change it into the nursery. 

“I’m truly happy for you both”, Robin said. “It’s looking good so far”, she gestured into the room. 

“All handmade”, the father-to-be said proudly. 

For a split second Robin thought about Matthew and how he had reacted to the news of her pregnancy and she got sad once more. 

“Excuse me”, she said and left them alone for a bit. 

Deep in the memories, she headed to the kitchen and living room area where she found Strike, sleeping on the sofa. Why was he not in bed? She sat on the comfortable armchair opposite and watched him while she thought of the good news she had presented to her husband. 

_“Can I go home earlier today?”, she asked Strike happily._

_“Sure. We don’t have anything for today. Go on and enjoy your weekend”, he said while looking for some files in the small cabinet._

_She thanked him and left the flat. Today would be the day. She wanted to tell Matthew about the baby. Robin stopped by the shops before heading home and preparing some dinner._ _Happily_ _she hummed when he entered the kitchen late_ _in the_ _evening. As usual he kissed her on the cheek for a welcome and loosened his tie before sinking on the chair beside the small table._

_“How was your day?”, she asked half an hour later when she present_ _ed_ _him with dinner and sat beside_ _him._

_“Lots of work at the office”, he said and quickly shovelled the food inside his mouth._

_“Don’t eat this quick!”, she scolded him mildly and smiled. “Or do you want to be a bad example for your_ _child_ _?”_

_“No but…”_

_He stopped and started coughing violently. Robin laughed and patted him on his back._

_“What_ _did you_ _just say?”, he asked again. “You’re what?”_

_“I’m pregnant”, she smiled while he just stared at her._

_“Oh…”_

_What was going on? She had thought he would react_ _differently;_ _instead he just looked at her, said “oh” and got completely_ _white_ _._

_“That’s all you’ve to say?”, Robin asked, now a bit stiff and angry._

_“I… I’m…. I don’t know what to say right now.”_

_“How about ‘I’m happy?’”, she suggested while standing up and putting her dish away._

_“I just got an offer for a promotion Robin. I can’t risk to give this up and loos this because of a baby right now!”_

_“So a job is more important than your child right now?”_

_“It is. You don’t get paid much and we need the money”, Matthew then said. “I have to take this opportunity.”_

_“I thought we would do this together..”, the pregnant woman said, nearly crying now._

_Bloody hormones!, she shouted at herself silently. Stop crying Robin!_

_“Don’t cry”, Matthew said and wanted to hug her but she stepped back._

_“I… I know this job is important and that I don’t get paid much but I don’t_ _wanna_ _give up my job fully either. It’s important to me too!”, she shouted._

_“Then you should have been more careful with birth control!”, Matthew said angry himself now._

_Robin had left him without a word and had locked herself into their bedroom. The days passed and after a while he apologised and seemed to look forward to the baby nonetheless. But still, Robin had started decorating and organising everything for the baby herself because he never had time for any of it…._

Now that Robin reflected on this whole disaster, she realised that it had been all wrong in the first place. Matthew had been so fixated on his job and his hate for Strike. He had left her alone when she needed him and had left her alone with necessary arrangements and errands. Always. She sighed. It probably was for the best that they had broken up by now. This would have never been good with the two of them and a baby and all these fundamental differences she had discovered over the last years. She must have had some baby stuff still at home. Maybe she could give them to Ilsa, so they were in good use and she finally put this behind herself. Plus, all this sitting around made her crazy so she decided to do this right now. Robin had promised Strike though she would not leave the house alone and so she called Shanker.

“Robin!”, he picked up the phone. “How can I help ya? Is everything alright with you and Bunsen?”

“Sure, we’re fine Shanker. Can you just help me with something? An errand you could say.”

He agreed and promised he’d pick her up in 15 minutes. Time passes soon while she kept thinking about all this and looked at her sleeping partner. She informed Nick and Ilsa that she would be out for a while and headed outside where Shanker was already waiting in a small red Mini. She laughed. This car had never suited him, although it was a good disguise.

“Where to?”, he asked with a soft smile when she sat beside him.

“To my place. I need to collect something.”

Half an hour later they arrived and Shanker felt that she was quite nervous. What was going on? 

“Can you come in? I… I can’t and don’t want to deal with Matthew alone right now.”

He nodded and followed her inside. Matthew was at home.

“Robin?”, he shouted from the kitchen at the other end of the corridor and looked out. “You’re back”, he said smiling and stepped closer but Robin stepped back. 

“Just to collect some stuff”, she said icy and got into the small room that would have been the crib.

Shanker followed her and looked at the young accountant. Prick, he thought. Obviously he knew what Matthew had done. Strike had told him everything. But that was not the only reason why he disliked the young accountant. He knew stuff Strike and Robin would never believe. Matthew followed them inside. 

“Who is this and what are you doing? Robin please…”

“Just… Just leave me alone”, she said while she stood before the small cot.

Being here, seeing all this had torn up the wound and she started crying. Matthew stepped close and reached for her, but Shanker stepped between them. 

“Didn’t you hear what she said?”, he grumbled and looked at the other man. 

“This is some business between me and my wife so leave us alone”, Matthew said arrogant. 

Shanker’s clenched his fists and looked threatening at the other man. Finally Matthew backed up and left them. 

“Thanks Shanker”, the young woman sobbed while she held a plush toy rabbit in her hands.

“That’s what I’m here for”, he simply said and stepped beside her. “I’m sorry you lost the baby”, he said sympathetic.

“It’s been a while now but I’m still not over it. I was so happy and looked forward to being a mum. The doctor’s said it was a little girl”, Robin said with a soft smile while more tears streamed down her face. “I decorated all this by myself. I already had bought some clothes and stuff. And this bunny…”, she continued. “It was mine. My mum hat kept it for my children and when I told her about the baby she had got me this. I… I disappointed everyone by losing it”, she finished crying. “I should have been more careful.”

“Don’t blame yourself”, Shanker said and patted her back.

After a few more sniffs Robin was calmer. 

“I’m sorry Shanker”, she mumbled and started looking into the two boxes. “Can you help me with these?”, she asked him and they both took the boxes and headed out to his car. “There’s one more thing I need to do”, Robin explained and got into the house again where she headed straight to the bedroom and packed her remaining clothes into the big suitcase she had bought for their honeymoon trip. Matthew just stood at the door and watched. He had his arms crossed and a furious look on his face.

“So it’s him and you then?”, he said sarcastically. 

“It’s just me”, she said calm and packed the green dress she had received as a present from Strike after the Lula Laundry case, their first one together. 

“Since when is there a thing between you and Strike?”

“There’s no ‘thing’ between us”, she said like all the other times before. “He’s my partner and friend. He’s there for me and helping me. Something you didn’t do in ages.”

Matthew now stood in front of her, looking down angry at his wife. 

“I was there. You weren’t there. You were always at work.”   
“You were at work too! You weren’t even happy when I had told you about the baby! You were just distracted all the time. And when I really needed you for preparing everything, for organising all the stuff for the nursery, you weren’t there!”

“I was busy building a career to get enough money. To afford a better place and a good school. To give us a better life!”, Matthew shouted.

“Our life was good, we were happy!”, she shouted too and cried again. “I love you Matthew. Wasn’t that enough?”

“I wanted more for us!”

“But I didn’t! I just wanted you to be there for me. For us! Instead you run off when it gets complicated once more and you fuck this stupid and arrogant bitch!”, Robin shouted at him.

Matthew slapped her and Robin stumbled back against the dresser because of his heavy hit. The cut at her lip started bleeding heavily. Angry and with disgust she looked at the other man, packed the few things and left but he held her back at the arm. 

“Let me go!”, she said but he declined.

“You gonna fucking stay! This isn't over yet.”

“It is!” She looked him deep in his dark brown eyes. “You know I love you and I really wanted to try to make things work again but after what you did!”

“I just didn’t fucked Sarah because we had a bad time… I…”

“Don’t try to explain what you did. This wouldn’t make it any better. You still cheated.”

Robin’s voice was now calm and silent, angry even. His grip around her arm got tighter. It hurt. 

“Let me go! You’re hurting me! Ah..”

Suddenly the grip was gone and Matthew stumbled back against the wardrobe. Shanker had pushed him away and was pressing him against the massive wardrobe now.

“If you touch her once more, I personally will cut you into little slices you piece of shit!”

Shanker let go of the man, headed to Robin and got her out. Silently she cried all the way back to Nick and Ilsa’s while pressing his handkerchief against her still bleeding lip.

“Bunsen’s gonna kick my ass for this”, Shanker said. 

“No.. I’ll explain it to him, don’t worry. Thank you Shanker, for coming with me in the first place. I’m not sure I’d have made it without you. I… He never was like that. He never hit me.”

“There’s a first time for everything. Don’t give him the chance to do it again though.”

Robin nodded and got in. She just put down the boxes and her case, when Strike was by her side.

“Were where you? What happened?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry”, she simply said while Nick put the suitcase in the guestroom. 

“You don’t look fine. Who hurt you? Was it Laing?”

“No… Cormoran, don’t make such a fuss about it. I’m fine, really. Shanker was with me.”

“Shanker?” 

Robin nodded while he got back to the living room area and called his old friend. Shanker told him everything in a few minutes before he returned to Robin. Angry as hell, he stepped to the young woman. He wanted to shout at her, he wanted to kick something but it wouldn’t do any good so he stayed silent and just looked at her scrutinizing. Her lip started swelling and the cut was very visible. Gosh he would kick Matthews arse the next time they would see each other. Nick and Ilsa had left again and the two of them were alone. Robin sat on the barstool at the counter while he stood in front of her, looking down. Carefully he put his hand at her cheek and bended her head a little to inspect the cut further and to just touch her for a few seconds.

“You should not go there again. What were you doing at you old place anyway?” 

“I was getting something”, she said, avoiding the question before she stood up and started to make them a cup of tea. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluffy fluffy fluff fluff.... :)

It was late when the four had finished dinner and started heading to bed. Ilsa and Robin left for the nursery for a few moments.

“I got some stuff from my flat”, Robin explained and gestured at the two boxes Nick had put in the room at her request. “These are brand new things. And since you’re expecting a girl I thought you would like to have them.”

Ilsa looked into one of the boxes and was head over heels with the cute clothes and all the stuff Robin had got for herself once. She had only kept the bunny from her childhood.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you so much Robin!” Ilsa hugged her. “I don’t know how I can thank you for this. It’s amazing. 

“No need to thank me. I’m just happy someone has a use for this stuff. It was just lying around anyway.”

While Ilsa started unpacking Robin headed back to the kitchen where Nick was discussing something with Cormoran who seemed genuinely annoyed. 

 “Oggy… this is ridiculous. The bed is way more comfortable than the sofa. You need to rest.”

“What is this about?”, she asked curiously and smiled a little to sooth his mood. 

“Cormoran refuses to sleep in one bed with you. This is childish.”

“It is”, she agreed. “You really should sleep in a bed.”

Strike stayed silent. Fucking hell! Angry he headed outside and smoked. After a while Nick decided to let his friend be and head to bed himself. He knew how stubborn Cormoran could be. 

“Goodnight Robin. Maybe you can bring him to reason. Stubborn bastard that he is.”

Robin laughed a little, wished him goodnight and looked at her partner. He was tired and angry. Robin took all her courage and headed outside. It was freezing and – instead of him – she just wore a pullover over her blouse, not a coat like he did. 

“Cormoran, what is it?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I don’t I’m just… “, he sighed. “I’m angry. I don’t want to let my anger out at you”, he lied.

Deep down Strike knew that she was right. He did avoid her. He couldn’t sleep in one bed with her. This would be fatal in any way. And besides he really was angry. At Matthew that he had the audacity to hit her in the first place and at her that she was so stupid and went back to him! What did she expect to happen? 

“Why did you go back there? Tell me”, he demanded in a calm but dark voice and looked right into her eyes.

A shiver ran down her spine and she felt warm and fuzzy. It was a very intimate moment. She flushed under his stare but finally told him why she had gone to her place.

“But promise me you won’t judge me for this”, she whispered while she kept looking into his eyes.

“I won’t. Please Robin, tell me.” 

“I got home to pick up some stuff from the flat, stuff for the baby. I don’t need these things anymore and since I know someone who does I decided to give it to them. Put it to a good use and get rid of the memories.” 

Strike stayed silent and looked at her. He could see the sadness in her eyes and the pain. But he could see that there was more. After a few moments she continued.

“I also got the last stings of my stuff so I would not have to go back there and Matthew was at home… We argued and he suddenly snapped. Shanker was there immediately and we then left.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I was sure you wouldn’t like it when I got back there.”

“You’re damn right about that. And I had my reasons.”

“You never liked Matthew, did you?”

“I had some prejudices when I first met him, yes. I just started to dislike him when I found out how he treated you. You deserved so much better.”

He didn’t intent to tell her this but now that it was out he felt better and he also felt that something between them changed. Got better even. Robin thought about his words. There was more to them, than she first thought. Some deeper admission from his side. She shoved the upcoming thoughts away. No... This was not like she might think. They were friends and he still was her boss somehow. 

“So this discussion about where you sleep”, she said to distract herself. “We can share a bed you know. There’s nothing to be said against it. And you really do need a decent rest. You look horrible.”

“I snore”, he said.

“I think I can live with that”, she laughed while he put out his cigarette. 

“Alright”, he indulged and followed her inside.

The guest room was smaller than he remembered. The bed was neatly made, with white fresh sheets. 

“Do you mind if I’m gonna take a shower?”

“Oh no, go on.”

He headed to the bathroom and locked himself in. This would be another restless night, he thought and tried not to think about what she would do right now. Probably change. With some quick moves he undressed and stepped into the small shower. He took his time and when he emerged from the bathroom she already seemed to be asleep. Silently he stepped to his bag, a towel around his hips, and searched for some clothes he took back to the bathroom. Strike changed into some pants, pyjama buttons and an old t-shirt before he returned once more and turned on the small light on the bedside table. He looked at Robin. Damn, she looked beautiful. Her lips where slightly parted, her checks blushed. Her red hair framed her beautiful face and was spread over the white pillow. Strike turned away again. It was not decent do stare at her while she was asleep. He put off his leg and lay down before he turned off the light. He faced her in the dark, closed his eyes and let his thoughts slip once more until he fell in a dreamless sleep soon after. 

After a while he woke from an inhuman sound and what sounded like sobbing. Drowsy he sat up and turned on the bedside table. The sound was still there and he looked to Robin. Her hands clasped the pillow and blanket, tears streamed down her face and her whole body was tense. She made some inhuman noises. Definitely a nightmare, Strike thought. Carefully he tried to wake her.

“Robin, wake up. Robin!”, he said her name and slightly touched her arm and after a few moments he had woken her up. Irritated she looked around before she saw him beside her. 

“You just had a bad dream”, he tried to soothe her. “You’re fine now.”

Robin still cried and started shaking. Jeez, this must have been bad. The young woman started sobbing uncontrollably and gasped for air. Fuck it! Strike pulled her closer and held her tight.

“Sch… keep calm. Just breathe… It’s gonna be fine”, he mumbled against her temple and waited. 

His strong hands hold her tight and she buried her face at his chest. He smelled good. Like soap and Cormoran. She still cried and tried desperately to stay calm but she simply couldn’t. Robin was angry that she lost control like this in front of her partner. But she suddenly felt so alone and was afraid. Her nightmare didn’t make things better. He pressed a soft kiss against her temple and held her tight while he mumbled some more comforting words. Robin shoved him a bit away and looked at him. Tears in her eyes, lips parted, cheeks wet and slightly blushed again. Beautiful was the only thing he could think of. Without a sign of what she would do, Robin tilted her head up and pressed her lips against his. They were soft from the crying, her tears wetted his cheeks and her small hands clung to his shirt. Strike was lost. The moment his lips touched hers he lost control. He pulled her closer and depend the kiss a little. She was still crying and suddenly he realised what this was all about. He shoved her away and shook his head. No, this was so not right. They both panted and Robin looked at him, desperate and still with tears streaming down her face. Strike sat at the side of the bed, put on his leg again and stood up before he silently left the room. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He was angry at himself. He should have never kissed her. He should have never let this closeness happen in the first place! On his way out he grabbed his coat and once more headed to the terrace to have a cigarette. Stupid! He cursed himself and didn’t sleep at all when he sank on the sofa an hour later. 

 

Robin just sat there and looked at the door where he had stormed out. Shit! She wasn’t sure why she had kissed him. But what she was sure about was the fact that he wanted her. He had kissed her back. Confused about all this and her own feelings, she sank back and dried her tears with the hem of her pullover. How could she face him in the morning? Robin turned around and fell asleep after a few minutes.

She woke up late with a headache. Exhausted she stood up and went to the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror she sighed. Her eyes were swollen, she had dark circles underneath them and the cut on her lip hurt more than last night. Without thinking about what she did, she mechanically showered and got dressed before she headed to the kitchen. Ilsa was there with her husband, having a late breakfast.

“Good morning Robin”, the other women greeted and poured her a cup of coffee. 

Robin greeted them too, thanked her for the cup of coffee and sat down. Cormoran wasn’t there and she couldn’t see a used plate at all. Where was he?

“Oggy left early. He said it’s for a case”, Nick answered her unspoken question when he saw her looking for his partner.

Robin nodded and silently had some breakfast before she went back to her room to do some research. She looked at her mobile and saw that she got some texts from Matthew and one from Strike. She ignored the ones from her husband and opened the one from her partner.

_Off with Wardle. Keep researching about Clara. There’s something wrong about all this. Strike_

Robin smiled. Well he was talking normally, that was something. She did as he asked and spend the whole day on the sofa, doing some research. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... hope you liked the last chapter and the kiss :) 
> 
> Here's a longer one since I'll be off for the weekend and won't have any time until Monday night to post anything.

Strike and Wardle met early in the morning. The DI hat some leads on Laing they followed, sadly they found nothing except one of his many hiding places in London. The police was still looking and searching the place when the two of them left for a beer in a nearby pub where Wardle and Strike spoke about how they would continue this. Obviously Strike didn’t mention his plan to do this all “out of the law”. He was sure – even though the DI and he were something like mates – that Eric would not appreciate and support his actions. It was late when the Detective took the tube to his friends place. He had decided to ignore what had happened last night with Robin and to move on. He got a spare key from Nick so he could come and go when he wanted to. Since it was late already, he silently unlocked the door and stepped in. He was a bit hungover because they had a few drinks and he hasn’t had much sleep over the past few days. He went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and then went to the living room where he decided to sleep on the sofa. When he entered the room he found Robin in one of the comfortable armchairs, still doing some research. She looked up and greeted him with a simple hello before continuing. Strike put his coat on the sofa and sat down. There was a strange atmosphere between them and Robin suddenly felt uncomfortable. She wanted to apologise but he didn’t seem as if he wanted to talk about anything that happened last night. She closed the laptop and without another word she headed to the door.

“Robin”, he said and she stopped. 

“Yes?”

“I’m truly sorry. For last night”, he then said.

“I’m the one who has to be sorry. I… I didn’t know why I did it. It was inappropriate.”

“So we’re fine then?”, he asked carefully.

“Yes, I think so”, Robin said simply and smiled a bit.

“Goodnight Robin.”

“You want to continue to sleep on the sofa then?”

“I’ve to do some more work”, he lied.

Robin nodded and accepted his answer although the young woman knew that he lied.

“Goodnight.”

_2 weeks later_

Strike sat at the kitchen counter and drank a beer while he got over his bank account when Robin and Ilsa returned. They both seemed very happy and in a good mood. He hasn’t seen his partner like this in ages. Ilsa headed to the fridge where she got them a bottle of champagne. 

“Darling, you shouldn’t…”, Nick said when he entered the kitchen and saw his wife holding the bottle. 

“What can one glass do?”

“He’s right”, Robin said. “You shouldn’t.”

Strike smiled amused. They still spoke about this as if he didn’t know anything yet. He did for a while now and he was happy for his friends to expect their first child, but he simply couldn’t really handle kids. This was not just his world. Never has been. 

“What’s the case for celebrating?”, Nick asked. 

“I won the case. I kicked this arrogant dick’s arse!”, she rejoiced. 

“That’s brilliant!,”, Nick agreed, truly happy for his wife. 

Strike looked up. So Robin did win against Matthew and he would let her go after all. Robin’s eyes meet his and she smiled shyly. He quickly looked at her. She wore a black pencil skirt, black high heels and white blouse. She looked fantastic although he had noticed that she had lost some more weight since they were here. He was thankful that his friends let him stay for this long. Wardle had still no news for them about the small flat in Denmark Street.

“Alright”, Ilsa agreed and put the bottle back in the fridge. 

Robin sat beside Strike at the counter, crossed her legs and waited.

“What are you up to?”

“We’ve a new case. Another husband who’s cheating. Apparently he has some unserious business going on for his company. His wife asked me to check this out.”

“How can I help?”

“By doing some more research.”

“I want to be back on the streets Cormoran. You don’t have to protect me by shoving me away from the world.”

“But it is safer in the office”, he grumbled. “And Laing is still on the run.”

“So what do you want for dinner? Shall we go out? I think we can go out? It’s such a beautiful evening and I’m in the mood for a bit of celebrating”, Ilsa said. 

“Sounds good to me, are you guys in?”, Nick asked them.

“I’ve an observation”, Strike said.

“Just this once”, Ilsa begged him. “No one will know if you didn’t do your observation today.”

Robin knew the other woman was right. Waiting she looked at her partner.

“Please come”, Robin said. “It’s just today.”

Cormoran agreed and they left the house a few minutes later. Half an hour later they sat in a nice Italian restaurant and ordered dinner. It felt weird sitting here, celebrating her divorce but Robin was happy too that all this was over now. She could start new after she picked up the pieces. Robin sat beside Strike and enjoyed her wine and a good lasagne while he had opted for the steak with pasta and a red wine. 

“How do you know each other?”, Robin asked the three of them after a while.

“Oggy and I met at Oxford “, Nick started. “A party, right? You were with Charlotte by that time I think?”

Strike nodded and took another sip of his wine. Why did she want to know that?

“I was with Cormoran’s class, we had the same lectures for a while”, Ilsa said. 

“You studied law?”, Robin asked her partner curiously.

“Yes”, he simply said and continued eating.

“So we both headed to that party and Ilsa was there too with the rest of his class. We talked and somehow started to meet more often. After a while I realised that she was special and that I had fallen for her.”

“You were an idiot”, Ilsa said softly. “You thought I was with Cormoran at first and didn’t try anything. I had to force him to our first date”, she said. 

Robin laughed and sipped at her wine again. 

“Well and someday it just happened and we got together.”

“It was about time”, Strike mumbled. “Nick wouldn’t shut up about Ilsa and how beautiful she was. I had no free minute”, he explained and Robin laughed some more. 

“Oh and you think your rambling on about Charlotte was easier for me?”, Nick teased him. “She’s the most beautiful woman… I can’t believe she’s mine… I love her Nick…”, he then quoted. 

Robin could see that the theme was not to his liking and changed it immediately.

“I wanted to thank you both for letting us stay this long. I’m still looking for a place but it’s not easy to find something affordable.”

“You can stay as long as you want”, Ilsa said. “Both of you.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small talk and some more stories. Robin listened intensely and Cormoran stayed silent for most of the evening. There was still something odd between him and Robin and he still was angry at himself for kissing her. Robin instead, seemed to have completely forgotten about this incident. They finished dinner and Strike excused himself for a cigarette. He had just lit up when Robin stepped beside him. It had started snowing a bit but he loved it. It was that time of year again when everything got calm and slower. 

“So this case”, she said. “That’s not the only thing that bothers you tonight?”

“How did you get so good in such a short time?”, he asked, truly impressed by her observation skills. “I had a very good teacher.”

“Maybe I should take some lessons with him”, Strike joked slightly. 

“Seriously, what is it Cormoran?”

“We lost a few clients over the last weeks. The papers did their job properly and wrote a lot about the Ripper”, he said. “You know that this has its consequences.”

“It’s money, is it?”

“I’m a bit behind with some payments, yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because every time I would tell you when we’re in some financial problems, we wouldn’t  talk about anything else.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On how much money we can get until the end of the month.”

“But that’s in about a week!”, she said and he simply nodded. “Shit.”

Strike smiled a little. He usually never heard her swear but when she did, it always made him laugh.

“We can’t let his happen”, she said genuinely worried about their situation. “We have to get the money. How can I help? Do we need more clients?”

“It’s fine Robin, don’t worry about it. We’re gonna make it, like usual.”

He finished his cigarette and headed back inside. Ilsa was sitting over a large bowl of ice-cream when they returned. 

“Cravings?”, he asked and they looked at him.

“I thought…”

“I’m a detective, remember?”, he winked and sat down while he ordered another bottle of wine. “I’m happy for you. I really am.” 

Ilsa and Nick thanked him when Robin sat back beside him.

“Since when do you know?”, she asked quietly.

“Since the day you got the baby-stuff from your flat. It wasn’t hard to put one and one together.”

“Oh…”

After a while, Ilsa and Nick made their way home.

“You can stay some more if you like. You guys haven’t finished your bottle of wine yet”, Nick said. “And the bill’s already payed.”

“Thanks mate”, Cormoran said and turned back to Robin.

They had started talking about their plans for the office. It was fascinating what she wanted to do to help him and it once more showed how passionate she was about her job. 

“I’ve so many plans for us!”, she said enthusiastically.

“I count on it.”

They headed home late after another bottle of wine they had shared. Robin was a bit drunk and held his arm when they walked the few streets back to Octavian Street. A few times he turned around to see if they were being followed but everything was quiet.

“I’m glad all this is over”, she then said.

“What do you mean?”

“The divorce. I can start new and let everything behind.”

He understood what she meant. He had done the same thing with Charlotte in some ways. He too had picked up everything she had left shattered and had started again. Silently they walked through the deserted streets. He could feel her warmth and smell her perfume. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and looked at the display: Wardle. He answered the call.

“I’ve some good news”, the DI said. “You’re flat has been cleared. You can go back there if you want tomorrow.    
“That’s good news”, Strike agreed. “Anything else?”

“No, still no sign of Laing. We put him on the Interpol list. I hope to get something on him shortly.”

“Thanks mate.”

“What is it?”, Robin asked as soon as he had finished. 

“Wardle called. We can go back to the flat tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

He looked at her. Her tone had changed from happy to somehow thoughtful and sad. Why? 

“Don’t you want to come back to Denmark Street?”, he asked carefully.

“I’d love to but I need my own place.  I can’t stay when you pay everything.. It’s not right somehow and I want to be independent again. It’s not good for the business when the tabloids keep writing about us.”

He knew she was right, but he wanted her to stay. He had gone used to her presence. Silently they walked through the deserted streets and headed to Octavian Street. Robin felt safe beside him and didn’t think about her problems for a while. 

“But where will you stay until you find a place?”, Strike then asked. 

“Nick and Ilsa offered me to stay as long as I want.”

He nodded and thought about it. He’d miss her in the mornings. And he would need someone to look after her while she headed to work. Laing was still out there after all and even though he and Shanker had done everything, he seemed to have vanished completely. I had started snowing while they headed home but he liked it. It always reminded him of the winter walks he had done with his Uncle Ted in Scotland. A happier time…

They reached the house and silently got in. Nick and Ilsa were already in bed so they carefully made their way through the hallway to the door of the guest room. Strike waited while Robin opened the door.

“You’re sure you don’t want to sleep in a comfortable bed?”, she asked. “I could sleep on the sofa instead.”

“Goodnight Robin”, he said and ignored her question. 

“G’night Cormoran.”

Without another word she got in and closed the door. Quickly she changed and headed to bed. She couldn’t really sleep and stared on the other side of the bed when she saw a movement near the window. A dark and hooded figure was staring at her. Robin felt scared, stumbled up and lit up the bedside lamp in the same moment Strike hurried into her room and to the window. He looked angry and worried. He hurried to the window, his phone in his hand and looked outside. Nothing… Fucker! 

“Cormoran, what is it?”, Robin wanted to know and he could hear the slight shaking in her voice. 

He looked at her and startled. She wore nothing more than a black lace negligee and she looked stunning in it. Her skin was white compared to the black fabric. She had braided her hair but a strand of it was falling into her face. He tried not to stare and stayed where he was.

“Laing called. He… He was watching you. He was running away when I looked out.”

-“I saw someone standing there and looking in”, she admitted and shivered. 

“He’s gone. Don’t worry.”

She did worry. She felt unsafe and somehow wanted him to stay now. But asking would not make it happen. She knew that he was still avoiding her after she was so stupid and had kissed her boss! Strike headed to the door again. 

“Sleep. I promise he won’t do anything.”

Before she could answer he headed out once more and left her alone. Robin shut off the light and tried to sleep but it took her a few hours until she fell asleep of exhaustion. 

 

Strike immediately called Shanker after he had left her. He told him what had happened and they met up for a plan. Shanker told him that his boys were searching for Laing right now, which relaxed him a tiny bit. 

“I wanna do this outside the law”, he admitted to his friend then. “Wardle can’t do anything right now and I want this to end.” 

“You know what that means Bunsen?”, Shanker asked him calmly. “It’s my area. My rules.”

“I know.”

Shanker agreed and headed to work an hour later. Shanker took him and introduced him to his boys. They should know what was going on. Together they worked on a plan how to find this sucker and get him down for good. 

“You know that this will have consequences. Maye this means prison for you. Are you sure you wanna do this Bunsen?”

“I am.”

“What about Robin?”

“What about her?”

“Don’t you think it wouldn’t be safer if you’d stay with her?”

“I don’t know. I…” 

Strike waited for a moment and thought about all this again. This was the only way to ensure that this would end soon. That Laing would leave Robin alone and would stop with all this killing once and for all. Fuck the consequences!

“Let’s just do this and get it over with”, he then mumbled, finished his cigarette and they both headed back to Ilsa and Nicks’. 

It was already early and the two of them sat – together with Robin – in the kitchen and had breakfast. He grumbled a quick good morning, poured himself a cup of tea and headed to the terrace to smoke another cigarette. Robin was kind of angry that he just vanished and behaved like he had to protect her at all costs. She was perfectly capable of dealing with all this. Robin excused herself and headed to him. Cormoran ignored her and took a sip of his tea. 

“Are you alright?”, she asked. “Where have you been? I was worried after last night’s incident.”

“It’s all fine”, he just said and drank some more of the tea. 

“It’s not!”, Robin protested and crossed her arms. “I’m worried you know. This case, Laing… All this got under your skin. I’m worried that you’ll do something stupid.”

“I won’t.”

“Then show me. Be yourself again and stop this nonsense with heading off at night and trying to protect me all the time. I’m capable of protecting myself you know.”

He doubted it. All this with Matthew had broken her. It made her weak and vulnerable. 

“And stop being an idiot and avoiding me!”, she said sharp. “I’m your partner and your friend.”

And the woman I fell for, he thought to himself but stayed silent. Instead he scrutinized her and kept up his shields. He couldn’t deal with his feelings right now. Laing was the first one on his list. Then he would deal with the rest of his life: the bills, his clients and his feelings for the woman in front of him. 

“And since friends are looking for each other and since it’s my turn now.. You should really get some rest and sleep. You look exhausted”, Robin said and looked at his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them. 

“I’m fine. I can sleep when all this is over.”

“You’re no use to anyone if you’re like this. Please Cormoran, for me.”

These words have always had a special effect on him. He would do everything for her and she knew this. He nodded, tossed his cigarette into the ashtray and followed her inside where he joined his friends for breakfast. Afterwards Robin wanted to make her way to the office and Strike wanted to follow her, but she refused.

“I told you, you need to rest. I’m capable of doing this alone.”

“But..”

“No.. Cormoran, please. Sleep and if there’s anything, I’ll call. Promise.”

He grumbled and obeyed for once, since he fell how tired he truly was. Robin left for the office and Strike headed to the guestroom where he – after a shower – crashed and fell asleep immediately.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something longer again :)

After a few hours he woke through his ringing mobile phone. Sleepy and with an even deeper voice, he answered the call.

“Strike”, he mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Bunsen”, he heard Shanker. “We got another lead on the fucker. My boys saw him near the flat of Kelsey Plat’s sister.”

Strike was immediately awake and sat up.

“Give me half an hour and I’ll be there.”

He hung up and got up. Quickly he put on his leg and some clothes, before he headed to the house he had once visited when little Kelsey got slaughtered by Laing. Shanker waited for him by an old oak tree at the end of the road. 

“Where is he?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. Maybe he’s inside? Kelsey’s sister is not here. According to the old lady in the house beside hers, she’s on holiday.”

“Maybe he searches something? Or he’s been hiding in there since the beginning?”

“Possible”, Shanker said. 

They waited and observed the house when it started snowing again. Soon Strike’s hair was wet and his hands were freezing. It’s been five hours since they had met and there still was no sign of their suspect. 

“You sure he’s here?”, Strike asked his friend. 

“Yes.”

“Well something’s wrong. Why is there not a sign at all? Keep a look out, I’m going in.”

 It already got dark and the street was deserted when he crossed the road, opened the small garden gate and headed around the house to the backdoor. The door was open when he turned the handle. Something was definitely wrong here. Strike silently headed in and looked around. He found some used cups and plates and also some food in the fridge including some body parts. Fuck, so Laing was here after all. He kept looking around and found more details that the man had been here. Or still was, he thought while silently walking upstairs. He checked every room but he wasn’t here. Strike would not tell Wardle about this. He needed to do this on his own so he carefully started looking for clues. After a few minutes of strolling through the house, he heard something chatter. Immediately he looked for a hiding place and slipped through the open door of Kelsey’s old room. He heard the backdoor being closed and heavy footsteps walking through the rooms downstairs. Fuck! He can’t face Laing now. Thankfully Shanker had handed him a knife to defend himself or kick this bastard’s arse. He got it out and opened it. Why had Shanker not texted or called him? He hid himself behind the door and waited silently. He heard footsteps. Light ones. Not too heavy. Was this Kelsey’s sister? Strike waited and continued to listen. The footsteps got closer. The room was nearly dark and the only light was a streetlamp outside who's light shown through the window. A figure in a dark hoody stepped in and – without much thinking – he got behind the figure and pressed the knife at their throat. 

“No sound”, he just mumbled dangerously.

The body pressed against his, was small and a somehow familiar scent was there. 

“Corm…”

Immediately he let go and stepped back. What the fuck?

“Robin? What are you doing here?”, he asked silently. 

Robin held her neck where he saw a small blood stain on her perfect white skin. A bit shocked she looked at her partner. Why was he here?

“I… I got a text that Kelsey’s sister wanted to see me.”

Confused Strike looked at her, before he pulled out a battered handkerchief and Robin took it thankfully to press it against her throat. Shit, this knife had been sharper than he had thought. He closed it and put it back into his pockets.

“Kelsey’s sister is on holiday, according to the neighbours”, Strike said confused. “I had a lead on Laing that led me here.”

Before he could do anything, he heard footsteps and Laing stood in the doorframe.

“Well well, both of you here. I didn’t expect you two to be this blind and actually show up. I’m glad you did though”, he admitted and Strike saw the knife in the other man’s hands. “It’s been a while since we last spoke in person and I really wanted you two here.”

Strike shoved Robin behind himself and she didn’t protest. Robin kept silent and he could feel her warm body beside his. Her breathing that hitched and the fear. Strike had such situations during his time at the SIB and he was trained to stay calm and observant. He did as his advisors had trained him and waited while he fumbled at the knife in his pocket. Apparently this was it. The final showdown between them. 

“You know, I  didn’t wanna rush this but apparently we don’t have any time.”

Robin was afraid. She clung to his coat and waited. He looked angry and determined and she knew that he wanted this to be over. Laing stepped closer so Robin automatically took a step back. Strike remained where he was though. Where the hell was Shanker? Laing stepped closer but was startled by some shouting in front of the house. They heard people and a siren coming closer. Without another word Laing turned around and fled. Strike headed after him and Robin shouted his name. He couldn’t go after this maniac alone. Strike hurried down the stairs and outside but he just saw Laing running down the back alley and vanishing.

“Fuck!”, he shouted.

His leg hurt after this little stunt and he winced in pain when he stepped on it. 

“Cormoran!”, Robin shouted and he could hear the fear in her voice.

Hurriedly he stepped to her. She was by the front door with two other people, standing beside a body. He passed them and looked down. Shanker. Fuck! His friend was lying on the ground, a knife in his stomach. Strike kneeled down.

“Bunsen”, the man said weakly and in pain.

“Shit… Don’t talk Shanker. We’ll get you to a hospital.”

“They already called an ambulance”, Robin said and had shoved her jacket under Shanker’s head. 

Strike took his friends hand and shoved it away from the knife.

“Don’t..”, he mumbled and looked concerned at Robin. 

A few minutes later an ambulance arrived and took him to hospital immediately. Robin stood beside him, when he anxiously watched them drive away. His friend had to survive. He simply had to! Strike wasn’t sure if he could make it alone. Not this time. Robin took his hand and he looked from their hands to her face. He squeezed her hand for a second and then let go before he turned away.

“Go home”, he said. “This is a business between Ling and me.”

“Cormoran!”, she said but he already headed to the tube. “Cormoran, wait!”

Robin hurried after him and walked beside him until they reached the tube. He didn’t want to be rude but he didn’t want her to be with him either. She stayed silent and just walked beside him. While waiting on the platform he smoked which got him some annoyed and angry looks from some other people waiting. Strike’s phone rang and he answered the call. It was Wardle.

“Strike, I just got a call and heard what had happened. Are you alright?”

“Laing escaped again!”, Cormoran grumbled. “My best friend is in hospital and heavily wounded.”

“I’m sorry. We do everything to find him.”

“I will find him. Just don’t be in my way”, Strike said and hung up.

“Do you really think doing something like this is a good idea? You’re rushing things”, Robin said. 

The tube was stuffed and they both stand side by side in a corner of the carriage. He could feel her hip brushing his and his eyes lingered on her longer than they should. Robin still was worried and a bit shaken from their meeting with Laing. He felt that something was wrong but he couldn’t concentrate on it now. It would distract him from the job at hand. He would get this fucker. He phoned Shanker’s guys.

“We heard about it”, the men at the other end said. “We’ll meet at the pub.”

“I’ll be there asap”, Strike simply said and hung up again. 

He felt Robin’s eyes on him. Her look was concerned and she had tears in her eyes. 

“What is it?”, he then asked, despite his intention.

“Nothing…”, she mumbled and looked away. 

He tilted her chin up and let his hand slide over her cheek for a second. She blushed but kept looking at him.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“I’m not worried. I’m just tired”, she lied. 

“Where do you stay?”

“At Ilsa and Nicks.”

He accepted it, although he would have liked it if she would be staying at his place again. He understood why she didn’t do it. It was – compared to his friend’s house – a shithole. It was better the way it was. She was his partner, nothing more and when this was over, he was sure that they would return to their old routine. The train stopped without warning and she bumped into him. He caught her and stumbled back against the wall of the train. Her body pressed against his and her hands lay on his chest. She was warm and soft and smelled so good. It was like when she had pressed herself against him that night. Without thinking she held up her hand and let it slide over the stubbles on his chin. She could feel that something had changed over the last weeks. Robin was more aware than before what she felt. Things she thought she’d have ignored and hid so well over the last years. The train started again but he didn’t let go of her. He knew that she knew what he thought. What he felt. It was useless to hide it now. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to touch her. He wanted her to be his. When their stop arrived, he finally let go and left the train. Robin kept following him back to Denmark Street where Wardle already waited for them. The three of them got upstairs and to their office. Robin got each of them a glass of Whiskey and sat at her desk while the men headed to the inner office. 

“How’s Shanker?”, Strike asked the detective.

“Still in the OR, last time I checked. But I’m sure he’s gonna make it.”

They both stayed silent for a while and drank their drink. 

“You’re gonna do something stupid”, Wardle deduced.

“Just don’t be in my way, that’s all I’m asking.”

“What about Robin. Have you thought about her?”

“I’m doing this to protect the people I love and care about. To get this fucker off the street.”

“I didn’t hear that”, Wardle said and had another sip of the golden liqueur. “I can’t help you if you do it like this. I’m still a police officer.”

“I don’t want you to get into any trouble. I can do this on my own. Just do me a favour and keep an eye on Robin. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her.”

“I will.”

They talked for a while. When they headed to the outer office Robin was still there, sitting over some documents. Wardle left and Strike sat on the battered leather sofa. 

“Why are you still here?”

“I want to help. I know I can.”

“Alright.”

Strike got up and poured himself another drink. He was tired, exhausted, he needed a shower and he was feeling like a teenager beside her. Fuck! Robin continued her research while he drank and sat down again. After a while he lay down and fell asleep. His phone rang and pulled him out of a weird dream. The sun was already rising when he answered the call. It was Wardle. 

“Mate. Hospital just called. Your friend is fine. He survived the night and surgery went well.”

“Thanks for calling.”

They hung up and Strike looked for Robin. She had fallen asleep over the papers she had been reading and was now half lying on the table. Carefully not to wake her, he got up and looked at the documents which were beside her. Information about Laing. Information they had retrieved during the last time they had investigated. What was she hoping to find in there? He rubbed his tired eyes and then softly pulled her up into his strong arms. Robin tiredly blinked at him.

“Sch… Sleep.”

He held her and got her upstairs to his flat. She needed to rest. Robin mumbled something. She was so light. She definitely needed to eat more. He got upstairs to his flat and headed to his bedroom where he put her on the soft and fresh covers. Sleepily she took his hand when he wanted to leave so he sat down beside her, leaned on the headpiece of the bed and stayed by her side.

Robin woke late the next day. She felt warm and two strong hands held her tight. The room she was in was cold and when she opened her eyes she could see snow on the window outside. She was in Strike’s bedroom again and two hairy arms held her. It was him. She felt his strong body pressed against hers and his breath was tickling her ear. Carefully not to wake him, she turned around and faced Strike. He was sleeping, still wearing his clothes. Why was he here? She couldn’t remember but she enjoyed it. This was the first time she fully admitted to herself that she liked him beside her. That she liked touching him and being touched by him. Robin carefully let her hands slide over his chest. Firm muscles and a soft tummy were the result of her small journey over his shirt. Wow. She had known that he was strong and muscular but not like this. He had lost a few pounds of the last year and she had seen the effect immediately. She understood even better now, why Matthew had always seen him as a treat. He wasn’t especially beautiful but he had something women seemed to enjoy and so did she. Now that he slept, she was able to watch him, feel his body under her fingers and fantasize. Robin was aware that he didn’t want something permanent and would never have a relationship with her. He was too strict when it came to his job and their business relationship. Plus it was so wrong. Starting something with her boss, when she just got divorced. People would talk. Robin stayed where she was, pressed against his body, hands on his chest and thought about Cormoran. Matthew would be burning with rage if he knew what they were doing right now. It hadn’t been working since their first breakup, she now admitted to herself. Ever since they had postponed the wedding because of his mum’s death it was getting worse and then the breakup because she found out about the cheating. She should have known that he would do it again. And she should have admitted that she felt something for her boss too. Her feelings had developed since their Scotland trip but she had suppressed them. Until now. She remembered their kiss. His lips on hers, his firm grasp around her body, his body pressed up against hers. Like now. Robin pressed herself more against his strong body, closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest before she fell asleep again. 

When Strike woke, she was still in his arms and somehow hugged him in her sleep. He too stayed where he was and kissed her temple. She was so beautiful and this felt so domestic and normal to hold her. Slowly she woke up and looked at him sleepily before she rested her head on his chest again. 

“Morning”, she mumbled and smiled a bit. 

He was startled by her reaction. She was snuggling herself against him and he just waited. This was unreal. Robin didn’t even seem to mind. A few minutes Strike shoved her away though and stood up.

“What is it?”, she said confused but he stayed silent and searched for some fresh clothes in his wardrobe. 

Robin sighed and lay down again. He could feel her bad mood but right now he couldn’t face this conversation. He had been weak, nothing more. This could never happen. He left for the bathroom, got dressed and wanted to leave the flat when he bumped into his partner again. Robin was sipping a cup of tea and immediately left when he entered. Shit. He totally fucked this up. He tried not to think about it, grabbed his coat and left Denmark Street. He headed to the hospital to look for Shanker who was still in ICU. Afterwards he met up with the boys. They worked on a plan to find and catch Laing. It would work this time, Strike thought when he left in the evening. When he entered Denmark Street he found a note from Robin.

_Out for observation. Wardle called, pls call him back. R._

Fuck! What was she doing outside? He had made her promise him that she won’t be out after dark. Yet here she was, out for observation in the middle of the night! He took his phone and called Robin. The call went straight to voicemail.

“Call me as soon as you hear this”, he just said and hung up.

Then he called Eric.

“Wardle.”

“Strike here. Robin said I should call you?”

“Yes. It’s about Laing. We found some more body parts. Prostitute, down in White Chapel. The technique is exactly his. I just wanted to tell you.”

“There’s more thought”, Strike said patiently when he heard the DI struggle for a moment.

“Yes… We found a note pinned to one leg. It leads us to the graveyard and your mother’s grave. It’s not a pretty sight. I’m sorry mate.”

Strike thanked him for the information and hung up. He swore under his breath when he was already heading out again. Half an hour later Strike was at White Chapel Cemetery. Wardle had not lied. His mother’s graveyard was a mess. Someone had written Robins Name on the gravestone and had broken some pieces from the old and already crumbling stone. The flowers that had been there were destroyed and someone had stamped on them. Fucking bastard, Strike thought and looked at the mess to his feet. Police tape was marking the grave as crime scene and fluttered in the wind. He turned up his collar and pulled out the pack of cigarettes. He pulled the last one out and lit it up while his thoughts started gliding to his mother and then to Robin. Shanker has been right, they were similar in so many ways. His phone vibrated and he took it out. Robin.

“Robin?”   
“You wanted me to call?”, she said.

“Yes, where are you?”

“I’m at the office. Why?”

“You promised me not to go out after dark. Why were you on an observation?”

“I had to get out for a bit and it was Mad Dad. We needed to give some news to his ex-wife because she was threatening she’d search another agency if we don’t give her some information soon. I just did what was necessary.”

Strike was thankful for it. He knew that it was necessary to keep the few clients they had at the moment. 

“Thanks. But please no more going out after dark.” She sighed and agreed. “There’s some money in the top drawer of my desk. Take it. It’s enough for a cab to Octavian Street. I don’t want you to take the tube and wander around alone.”

“I won’t, I still have enough work here. Where are you?”

“Whitechapel.” 

“Cormoran there’s something I..” 

“I gotta go Robin”, he interrupted her and hung up.

He knew what she wanted to say. He couldn’t listen to it. He was too involved already and far away from a professional relationship. Strike walked back to the tube and stopped in the Tottenham for a pint before heading back to the office. When he headed upstairs he saw that there was still light in the office. He got in and found Robin over the same documents like the night before. She looked up when he entered and smiled a bit. 

“Why are you still up?”, he said exhausted and sank on the sofa. 

“Research.”

“Found anything?”

“No…”

“He killed another woman”, Strike then said into the silence. “Wardle called me because of it.”

“Who was she?”, Robin asked.

“A prostitute”, he just said and stood up. 

“I… Cormoran… Can we talk for a minute?”

He turned to her and scrutinized her. His eyes looked straight into hers and she shuddered.

“I wanted to apologise because of this morning. I thought… I’m sorry I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. It’ll never happen again”, Robin said and looked at her hands in her lap.

He was confused. What did she thought? That he had wanted her? That he what? He needed to know. But there she was, telling him that this was a complete and normal business relationship. Nothing more. This had been exactly what he wanted, wasn’t it? 

“Alright”, he simply said and headed to the small kitchen to pour himself a drink.

Robin looked down and continued working. They both sat here in silence and worked on some things. Strike updated some of his notes on a case while Robin tried to find out more about Laing. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting anything the last days, I was quite busy with work and continued writing a bit in my notebook.   
> So a bit of a longer chapter again :)

His thoughts kept drifting to Robin’s apology. Both didn’t slept that night and it was early when Strike finally got up.

“Want to grab some breakfast?”, he asked her. “I’m starving.”

“Sure.” 

They both headed to a nearby café and had a decent breakfast. Both acted normal around each other and discussed what they’d do with the remaining clients. Robin got the cases she could observe at day, Strike took Mad Dad and two other cases that required observation at night. 

“Five clients. That’s all that’s left”, Robin said sadly. “We need more Cormoran.”

“Yeah I know. But with the tabloids keep writing shit about us, we won’t get new ones.”

“We have to make them change the story they write then. What are the current headlines? There must be a way to influence all this.”

“I’ll talk to Al maybe he knows something”, Strike said while drinking his tea.

“Yes maybe…”, she said and poked in her eggs.

“You should eat something. You lost too much weight.”

“I’m not particularly hungry”, she mumbled and sipped from her tea. “We have a meeting with the bank today.” 

“Oh yes… The loan.”

“Why don’t you ask your brother or your dad to help you out? I’m sure they would.”

“No… I don’t wanna beg Jonny for money. He’s not interested in my business and that’s completely alright with me. I don’t want to have anything to do with him.”

“I’m sorry”, she mumbled and drank her tea. 

“Don’t be.”

“So what are we going to do because of the bank?”, she asked. “We need some money if we want to keep the agency running. I don’t have much except 300 bucks I got left from the wedding and some savings for the baby.” 

“Keep the money. You need it more than I do”, he said.

They stayed for another cup of tea and discussed their current situation. 

“Have you found a flat by now?”, he asked Robin while they walked down the street to the next store.

“No. Not yet.”

They headed into the store where Strike bought two packs of cigarettes and the actual papers and tabloids before they headed back to the office. 

“Fuck”, he said when he saw one of the front pages. 

It showed Robin and Strike heading arm in arm through the streets back to Octavian Street. It had been the night when they have had dinner with Nick and Ilsa. Robin looked over his shoulder and saw it too.

“Bugger…”

The headline said  _“Lovebirds – Secret Romance Revealed”_. Robin silently read the article. 

_Apparently all is well in Denmark Street and the rumours are right. The two lovebirds were seen during date night in one of London’s top Italian restaurants with friends. According to our sources the couple shortly got together after Miss Ellacott-Cunliffes divorce and is now living together in the small flat above the office in Denmark Street. Rumours also suggest that the two of them had an affair a few years back while travelling together. The question now is, what are they up to next? A simple case or more?_

More? What the fuck was more, Strike asked himself. Fucking tabloids! He pulled out his phone and called his brother Al.

“Hey mate, what’s up?”

“I need your help with something. It’s about the tabloids. Have you seen the headlines of The Sun?”

“In fact I did. Congratulations brother. I’m truly happy for you.”

“No it’s not that simple Al. This is ruining my business and it’s dangerous. Can we meet for lunch? I need to tell you some things about that.”

“Sure, when?”

“Today at 12.30pm? Tottenham?”

“Sounds good to me”, Al agreed. “Looking forward to it.”

“Thanks.” He hung up and looked at Robin. “Maybe he knows what to do.”

Robin read more of the papers while Strike had vanished in the inner office to go over his bills and financial status. Robin was desperate. The papers were full of small articles or pics of her or Strike. When he re-entered the outer office she was on the phone. Potential client, he deduced from her talk. He took his coat when she looked up. Silently he gestured that he would leave for lunch with his brother. Robin nodded and he left. Outside he saw one of the journalists lurking opposite of the office shooting pictures when he left. His mood got worse when he saw the man following him. Thankfully he knew his ways around in London and soon got rid of the young photographer. He entered the Tottenham at precisely 12.30pm and headed to the small table Al was sitting at. Like usual the younger man hugged him and was very pleased to see him. 

“Corm… How are you? How are things?”

“Oh I’m fine thanks. Things are like usual. Crazy cases, lunatic clients..”

Al laughed and Strike smiled too. He liked his brother. Beside Lucy he was the only one of the siblings he had contact with. Compared to himself Alexander had a good relationship to his father and adored him. He too was in the music business and a bit of a rock star. Nonetheless he was a simple and loving creature that held their family very high and he was grateful for that. 

“How are you? How’s business?”

“Oh I’m fine and business is going well. Dad’s planning a revival tour, have you heard about it?”

“No, sorry…”

“Well we are all planning things and are excited if it will work out like he wishes. Do you wanna come to one of the concerts? With your girlfriend?”

“No thanks. You know what I think about all that. No offence.”

“None taken”, his younger brother smiled and sipped from his beer. “So Robin.. I kinda thought you two would get together one day.”

“We are not and that’s because I’m here.”

In a few sentences he had told Al all about the case with Laing and what was going on with Robin.

“I need the papers to stop writing about us. It’s not good for business. Don’t you know a good strategy so we won’t be bothered anymore?”

“Mate… You know how the papers are. If they find you interesting you can’t do anything against them. It’s impossible. A scandal only would make it worse so better sit this one out bro. Or give them the full story and they’ll shut up soon because they’re bored. It’ll take them longer if they have to research everything and you know this.”

Strike nodded. He had lots of contact to the press over the years and knew too well what they could do so he knew that his brother was right. He had to talk to Robin about this…    
They finished lunch and soon parted again.

“Call me if you need something”, Al said and hugged him once more.

“Sure will”, he said. “See you.”

Lighting up a cigarette, he walked back to the office where he would pick up some files and then head to the bank for his appointment since it was already late. When he entered the office, Robin was bending over the lowest drawer of the file cabinet. Holy shit. She wore a tight black pencil skirt that clung to her curves perfectly. Strike tried not to stare and turned away to hung up his coat.

“You’re back already”, she said, closed the drawer and looked at him. “How was the lunch  with your brother?”

“Oh it was good. He told me nothing that I didn’t knew already but it was nice to see him”, he admitted. “We still have some time before the appointment.”

“We?”

“Sure. I want you to come with me. You’re my partner. I want you to be there and know everything there is to know about the business. And since you doing the books you know best how we stand.”

“Good, I’m coming with you then”, she said smiling and then continued to make notes.

Strike stood by the window and looked out while he drank the rest of his tea. The snow had settled over night and covered most of the ground now. He liked it. Snow made the world calmer. He looked at the calendar. It was December, 10th already. Nearly Christmas, he thought. The last two months had been intense for them. While he stood by the window, Robin looked at his broad figure. She still had to pick up some pieces. Pieces Matthew had left. But she was sure that things would get easier and after all she had Strike who was there. Even though just as a friend. She felt better now that the two of them had settled things between them. He hadn’t protested and just accepted her apology and the fact that she wouldn’t make another move. So she had been wrong. He didn’t want her. The thought hurt but was also comforting. At least she had still a friend and a good business relationship. Half an hour later Robin started to pack all things they need for the bank and got dressed. She wore a black and elegant coat over her skirt and the red blouse.

“You sure that these are the right shoes for this weather?”, he asked and looked at her high heels with a smile. 

“I don’t have any others”, she said. “It’ll do.”

He put on his coat and they both left for the appointment. He was nervous, Robin could feel it. There was more snow than she had thought and so it was a bit of a challenge to get to the tube. 

“Take my arm”, he mumbled when he saw how much she struggled and nearly slipped a few times. 

“Thanks.”

Robin took it and they carefully walked to the station. It was crowded with people and Robin felt that they were followed. In the carriage they took a seat opposite of each other and he looked at her.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“We’re being followed.”

“Yes I know. Someone from the papers. He also took some photographs.”

“Oh…”

Half an hour later they arrived and when they left the tube station, it had started snowing again. Once more Robin took his arm and they carefully headed to the bank at the end of the street. Soon after they arrived they met up with his case officer. 

“Mr Strike and Miss Ellacott”, the elderly man greeted them and shook their hands. “Glad to see you. Please follow me.”

They headed into his office where they sat over his files and discussed their financial status. Strike knew that he wouldn’t get this loan he needed and he had a bad feeling about all this.

“Mr Strike you see yourself that this is a bad situation you are in. You paid the bills you had from your last money. You can’t afford next month’s rent or utilities. You’re bankrupt.”

“That’s why I’m here”, he said. 

“Mr Strike. I can’t give you anything. My bosses would never allow it. You can’t pay anything back. I’m sorry Sir.”

Strike’s features hardened and Robin could she the helplessness in his eyes.

“And if I’d vouch for him? I have something left”, she said.

“Robin no! We discussed this.” 

“It’s my decision.”

“I could look over your financial status Miss”, the banker said. “We have to see after that.”

“Alright”, she said and handed him her bank card and bank book.

He left them and the atmosphere between them changed rapidly. She could feel how angry Strike was. 

“Why did you do this?”, he asked grumpy. “I told you not to.”

“It was my decision”, she simply said. “We need the money Cormoran.”

“But it was the money you had saved to build your new life. To find a flat and pay for all that.”

“I’m sure I can manage without it.”

“Stubborn woman”, he grumbled. 

She wanted to answer when the banker – Mr Stephens - returned. 

“It appears that you’re savings are enough to give you a small loan. Thing is, you’re not officially involved in the business. So it would be a private loan.”

“Alright.”

“You know what this means Miss? You would need to repay us. If you can’t we will impound everything you own.”

Robin didn’t care. She had nothing left that was worth impounding. And they needed the money to save the agency. That was most important at the moment. 

“Let’s sign this then”, she agreed and he prepared the contract.

“No, I won’t allow this”, Strike interfered once more. “Robin, do not sign. It’s my responsibility what happens with the business”, he said and held her by the arm. 

“And since I’m your partner, it’s mine too.”

Robin took the pen from the other man and signed the contract.

“The money will be transferred to your account immediately. Or do you wish to transfer it to a different one?”, he asked.

“To this one please”, she said and scribbled down the bank account number of Strike’s account.

“As you wish, Miss. If you need anything, feel free to contact me anytime.”

“Thanks Mr Stephens”, Robin said, shook his hand and she left the office.

Strike said his goodbye as well and followed her outside. He was in a bad mood. After lighting up a cigarette he headed to the tube. Robin carefully walked beside him through the snow and tried not to slip. He didn’t offer her his arm this time.

“Why are you overreacting?”, she asked when she was at his side again.

He had walked slower on purpose for her to catch up. 

“I’m not overreacting”, he said angry.

“You are! I just don’t fully understand why. I’m trying to save the business and you don’t even seem to care!”, she had stopped in the streets and was shouting at him now. 

“We don’t have to discuss this here”, he just said and turned away but Robin – stubborn as she was – waited and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Are you coming?”, he asked.

“No…”, she said, turned around and left him. 

Fuck! What was going on here? He just wanted to protect her and this loan would ruin her. But instead she was stubborn and fought him. Robin wrapped her arms around her and – carefully where she stepped – headed down the street, looking for a cab. Robin hated to fight with him. It had always saddened her more than fighting with Matthew. These fights with Strike were different. He wasn’t a man who would give up on his point of view easily and it wasn’t easy to argue with. She found a cab and showed it to stop. Before Robin could get in, she felt a strong hand grab her upper arm and turn her around.

 “Let go of me”, she said and he did.

Robin got into the cab and he followed her.

“Get over Ellacott”, he grumbled and she did. “Denmark Street please”, he ordered the driver and they took off. 

They stayed silent and Robin looked out of the window to avoid any conversation. It snowed heavier now and soon they were driving very slowly. Robin was cold and sad, and being in his presence didn’t make things easier. Strike kept watching her and he too felt miserable for fighting with her. But why was she doing this? Why was she risking everything for the business? For him? She had crossed her legs and was trying not to touch him. Only thing he was doing was make things worse with his behaviour of shoving her away. No more…

“I’m sorry”, he said in the silence of the cab.

Robin stayed silent and ignored him. She knew that he wasn’t. Not really. He would react just the same if she would do it again. 

“I… I don’t know what to say except that this is crazy”, he continued. “I.. This will ruin you and I don’t want it. Not if I pull you down with me. This job… It already ruined your marriage.”

“My marriage was ruined long before that”, she simply said and kept looking out.

A few minutes later they arrived. Robin paid the cab and got out. To not ruin her shoes completely and since the snow was way too high, she stepped out of them and walked the few meters with bare feet. She swore under her breath. It was freezing. Strike followed her and smiled when he saw what she did. Robin fumbled in her bag for the keys but couldn’t find them. 

“Need some help?”, he grinned and held up the keys.

She wanted to grab them but he pulled his hand back and she bumped against him. 

“I am sorry”, he said again. “I just don’t want you to ruin your life, like I said.”

“You don’t. This business is my life.” He looked into her eyes and fell even more for her. “Now give me these goddamn keys!”, she said and grabbed them from him. 

“So are we good?”, he asked while she opened the door. 

“We are if you stop being such a dickhead when it comes to take help from others.”

They both were inside the building now and Strike tried not to stare too much when she headed upstairs. Damn these tight skirts of hers! 

“I’m a dickhead? Well you need to talk. You’re stubborn as hell yourself.”

“Just because you don’t see what’s good for you! And sometimes it helps if I kick your arse”, she said smiling. 

“Kick my arse?”, he laughed. “You?”

She stopped and looked at him from a few steps above.

“You don’t think I could?”, she said a bit affronted. 

“I did never doubt your abilities Robin. It’s just… I think it would look quite funny”, he said grinning his boyish smile he always used when they were together. 

Robin had to laugh now too and giggling they stood in the dimly lit stairwell. She looked so beautiful and young. God he adored her. Even though she stood two steps above him she wasn’t much taller.

“What about dinner?”, he asked.

“Oh… I’d love to but my shoes”, she said and held up her high heels. 

“Dinner at my place then?”, he said and smiled. 

“Alright.”

They headed directly to his flat. Thankfully the heating was working, Strike thought when they entered and he turned on the light. He hung up her coat and then got to the fridge. Yes he had everything here. He handed Robin a glass of white wine and started cooking. About half an hour later they sat together and enjoyed a Bacon Avocado Caesar Salad, Scalloped Potatoes and a Garlic Butter Steak. It was delicious. 

“Oh god, this is so good! I haven’t had such a good steak in ages”, she admitted.

“I’m glad you like it.”

While they had dinner they discussed everything about the loan and how to continue the business.

“What did your brother say because of the rumours in the tabloids? Anything we can do against that?”, Robin asked.

“We can’t do much. He just thought that maybe we should give them what they want. A good story to keep them interested for a while and then things will get calmer.”

“A good story”, she mumbled and took a sip from her wine. “You’re really sure this will satisfy the tabloids for a while?”

“Probably, yes.”

“Okay, so let’s give them a good story.”

“You know that this is a big deal. Nothing that should be done lightly.”

“I know. So what will the story be?”

“No clue”, he admitted. “But since these annoying photographers are still following us, we can sure think of something for them. Just trust me.”

“I do.”

“So… I have to go and tail one of our suspects tonight.”

“Now? Have you looked out?”, she said and he looked out of the window.

The streets where covered in snow and it was a heavy storm outside. Shit. 

“Well needs must and we need the money. You can stay if you want. It’s late already and you won’t get far in these shoes.”

“Thanks. And wrap up warm. Weather reports say it’s gonna be up to minus 12C tonight.”

“I will.”

He headed to the bedroom and changed. When he entered the living room and kitchen area again, Robin sat over some bills and papers on the sofa, another glass of wine in front of her. 

“If you need anything just call me”, Strike said when he slipped into his old army boots. 

They would keep him warm and he would not slip. Robin looked at him while he tied his boots. He wore some old battered jeans, his brown and comfortable pullover and a dark blue scarf. He slipped into his coat and warm leather gloves.

“Stay warm and safe. Laing is still out there”, she said.

“I will, don’t worry. Laters.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of an important chapter for the story and with the first full smutty part in this. The scene in Career of Evil when he's flirty with one of the strippers inspired me to write this. Oh and kind of imagine when he looked at the woman and said "Not that kind of friend. Sadly.." Yes now you got an accurate picture of him in this scene ;)

It was cold outside and the snow was about 20cm high. Strike headed to the tube and to Covent Garden where his target was already working. Young woman in her late 20s, serving in a strip club and their client was no other than Two Times. He paid well and was a faithful customer so Strike sustained his boring girlfriends. He got into the club, looked out for a silent table and ordered some water. He watched her and carefully took some pictures with his phone. It was early in the morning when he received a text from Robin. 

_How’s it going?_  

Smiling he tipped an answer. 

_Boring so far but at least it is easy money. Why are you still up? C._  

_Can’t sleep and the heating failed._  

Shit, he really had to do something against it. A young woman was sitting down beside him.  

“Hello stranger.” 

“Hello.” 

“I think I’ve never seen you before. Are you enjoying yourself?”, she asked and put her hand on his tight.  

“I do”, he lied.  

“Pity. I thought maybe we could enjoy ourselves a bit.” 

Her hand slid further up and he just supressed a moan. Fuck! He hasn’t had a decent shag in ages and having Robin around all the time didn’t make things easier for him. He wanted this. Plus the young girl of Two Times was just working – like usual. It surely wouldn’t be a problem if he’d  vanish for a while?  

“What do you want?” 

“Oh not much”, she said. “A shag… 80 bucks?” 

“60”, he said and she agreed.  

Strike grabbed his coat and followed her to the toilettes. They left them behind and headed farther down the battered corridor to a small broom closet. The space was nearly empty and they had enough space. He assumed that this was the usual place for such things but he couldn’t care less at the moment. She shut the door, he handed her the money and she immediately was fumbling at this trousers. She shoved him against the wall and let her hand glide into his trousers. He groaned. Shit… He was already hard. Strike pulled her closer and kissed her rough while he shoved her against some old and battered cabinet. She wasn’t particularly beautiful and he just wanted to get laid, the only reason why he had agreed to this. He kissed her and freed her breasts from the tiny bra she was wearing. Strike kissed her breasts and imagined it was Robin’s moan that cut the silence in the small room. It was so wrong, thinking about his partner like this but he couldn’t help himself. Her hands shoved his pullover over his head and opened his shirt. She started gliding over his chest while he continued with his kisses over her body and started to touch her. She was doing this for money, for sure, but he wanted her to have some pleasure while they were doing this. His imagination went wild and he tried not to speak or he would have mentioned Robin’s name. He continued and she softly moaned under his fingers and kisses. He imagined that Robin and he were in his room. Both craving after so long and he could finally touch her. Kiss her. Feel her. No… it wasn’t her. Her body did not feel right. He opened his eyes and looked at the woman. She was smiling and another moan escaped her mouth when he shoved two fingers in her and massaged her clit with his thumb. 

“Oh god… Fuck..”, she mumbled.  

No definitely not his Robin. He couldn’t imagine that she would be so rude in bed and swear like this. Although Strike did like it when Robin swore. He could always hear a bit of her accent and it was just… cute. Without realising it, the woman in front of him came with a loud moan and her nails scratched over his chest. It hurt and he was sure that this would leave marks on him. Fuck! He grunted and kissed her once more.  

“You’re a talented one aren’t you?”, she asked and smiled before kissing him and shoving her hand down his trousers once more. “Your turn then, sweetie.” 

He supressed a loud moan and buried his face beside her neck instead. She massaged him until he was fully erected again, pulled a condom out – from what seemed to be nowhere – and pulled it on while she sat on the small cabinet. It would do, he thought and after some more kisses he carefully shoved himself into her.  

“Oh baby…”, she moaned and pulled him closer for a long kiss while her hands where in his hair.  

He pulled her hands away and pinned her to the wall behind her while he moved his hips. Another moan escaped her mouth. Would Robin like it rough? Did she mind? He wasn’t sure. Her only partner – as far as he knew – had been Matthew. He was very sure that the accountant had always been very straight forward and unimaginative when it comes to sex.  

“Where are you with your thoughts sweetie?”, the woman asked and looked at him curiously.  

Strike didn’t answer and continued moving. Slow, rough, a bit softer, faster. He teased her because he wanted this to last as long as he could. His thoughts kept drifting to Robin. He imagined her in front of him right now. Her beautiful legs wrapped around his waist, her hands on his chest, her hair a mess and falling in waves over her breasts and body. Soft, warm and with a typical smell of Robin. Wanting kisses… Silent gasps when he moved differently. His name on her soft, full lips… Passionate kisses and touches in the silence and comfort of his bedroom. Time… They had so much time. He imagined her body under his fingers. Fragile and so pure… Strike increased his speed and soon they had a steady rhythm. His hands moved over the woman’s body, his lips were on hers to silence her moans and lustful cries. She clung to his shoulders. Not long now. He heard Robin whisper his name. Soft moans, her hands clinging to the sheets. No, no sheets. The woman had her hands on his arms again and in his hair. His breathing was erratic and heavy. He lost his rhythm and just continued with fucking her. No feelings, no problems. He closed his eyes for a moment and he could see her again. Lips parted, eyelids fluttering, breasts heaving while she panted. He grunted something she didn’t understood. He could feel his orgasm building. He could feel some sweat dripping down his back while he - now quite frantic and violently – trusted forward to find release. Strike fell… a picture of Robin orgasm under him in his mind. He moaned loudly and his body started shaking. He couldn’t think clear, he just let this heavy orgasm ripple through his body and drain him out. Panting he half lay in the arms of the woman in front of him when he started to realise his surroundings once more. The woman held him and let her hands slide through his hair. No this just felt wrong. He stood up and stepped back, shoving her hands away. Still panting he got rid of the condom, straightened his clothes and left without another word. He had never felt guilty when he had sex. Not with anyone. But this time was different. His thoughts had been different. They were the reason he felt guilty, that he felt as if he had done something forbidden and broke an unspoken rule. He had in fact, hadn’t he? 

Strike quickly slipped into his coat, searched the bar for his mark - she was still there just serving drinks like every night – and left the club. The fresh air made him feel better made him think clearer. He pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lit one up before pulling his scarf closer, putting on the gloves and leaving through the dark for the tube. The watch on the platform made him realise how early it already was. Nearly 4am. He had spent way more time with this woman than he had thought. While he waited, he smoked another cigarette. Perfectly ignoring the “no smoking”-signs all over the platform. He never gave a shit about these things. He checked his phone for any missed calls and found another text from Robin. 

_Borrowed one of your jumpers. Hope you don’t mind. It’_ _s just freezing in here._  

The text had shortly arrived after the other one that the heating had failed. He had completely forgotten about it. He had received the text about 1.5h ago. Strike felt tired and exhausted. He needed to get home… At night it took some more time for the tubes to arrive so it took him nearly an hour before he was back in Denmark Street. The whole street was deserted and he didn’t encounter another person on his way past the shops and clubs. Only thing he noticed were two cats fighting in an alley. Silently he got inside and up to his flat. Robin was not here though. Where was she? Don’t panic, he told himself and headed to the bedroom and bath. Nothing... He hurried downstairs again. The door to the office was locked so he opened it. Immediately he relaxed when he found her on the old leather sofa beside a small electric fire. Thank god! He headed upstairs to grab a second blanket, locked the door again and carefully spread the second blanket over her. After a few seconds of looking on her, he sat down beside Robin on the floor. It was freezing in here as well, but not as cold as in his attic flat. He let his head rest on the edge of the sofa near her tight. Wrapped in his coat and exhausted, he closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.  

 

A loud banging against the office door woke him a few hours later and he bolted upright.  

“Fuck…”, he grumbled. “What is it?”, he barked to the person outside the door.  

“Wardle here. Let me in, it’s important!”, the DI said loudly and waited. 

Robin was awake too and sat confused looking on the sofa.  

“What is it Cormoran?”, she said when he opened the door and Wardle stormed inside. 

“Congratulations mate!”, he said angry. “You just made yourself a number one suspect again!” 

Wardle angrily put the file on the desk while Strike looked at him confused. 

“What do you mean? What happened?” 

“We found another dead woman. A stripper and according to witnesses and some DNA we found, you were the last one to interact with her.” 

He opened the file and saw a picture of the woman he have had sex with merely hours ago. He turned to a different picture. The woman was cut into pieces. Her limbs gone, her body cut open, guts turned inside out. Shit…  

“So?”, Wardle said waiting. “What do you have to say about this?” 

He stayed silent. Robin had gone up and stood beside him, looking at the picture too.  

“Oh my god”, she said shocked. “When?” 

“Last night”, said Wardle.  

“You found her through an anonymous call, right?”, Strike finally said. 

“Yes. Shortly after 4.40am.” 

Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse. Strike headed to the small kitchen and made them a cup of tea. He tried not to look at Robin. He had felt her looks on him though. She wore nothing but her panties, a t-shirt and a big and cosy jumper of his. She had sat down on the sofa again, wrapped in a blanket. Wardle stood beside her, arms crossed and impatient. Strike handed them both a cup of tea before he looked out of the window. This was a fucking mess. Why had he not seen Laing? Why had he accepted her offer in the first place? It was too late to change something now. 

“What are you gonna do now?” 

“I’ve to take you to the station. You’re our number one suspect.” 

“You can’t just take him!”, Robin interfered and jumped up. “He did nothing wrong!” 

“He was the last to see her alive. People saw you two leaving. You walked out, she did not.” 

Just now she realised what Wardle had said. Strike and the woman had left. She looked at him and she could see the guilt and shame in his eyes. Why did he look so guilty? He had done this several times before. He has had girlfriends and all while she was here. 

“I vouch for him”, Robin said, standing in front of him.  

“C’mon let’s get this over with”, he said, softly shoved Robin away and stepped to Wardle. “I’ll call you”, he said to her and left with Wardle.  

Press was already waiting in front of Denmark Street but Wardle did not let them see what was going on. He drove them to Scotland Yard where some of the other officers were already waiting for their arrival. He was sure that this was – once more – a sensation for them. Wardle brought him to one of the interrogation rooms, got them a strong coffee.  

“Gosh this is a fucking mess”, the DI said and massaged his temple.  

Strike got rid of his coat and took a sip of his coffee. He was exhausted and tired of this shit, of Laing’s games.  

“I’m sorry mate but I have to do this”, said Wardle and turned on a dictating machine. “11th of December, DI Eric Wardle questioning the suspect Mr Cormoran Strike to case number 21378, the killing of a stripper named Veronika Hall in Nancy’s strip club on the morning of the 11th of December. Suspect arrived at the questioning with me, no resistance from the suspect whatsoever. Questioning begins at 8.05am, interrogation room two, Scotland Yard.” 

Strike smiled during all this. He knew too well how all this worked from his time at the SIB. Wardle apologetically looked at him and continued. 

“Mr Strike, according to our information, you had been in Nancy’s in the late evening of the 10th December. Why?” 

“I was on a case”, Cormoran answered calmly. “A client of mine wanted me to find out more about his girlfriend’s behaviour during her job as a waitress in this strip club. He’s very wary of her.” 

“When did you arrive there?” 

“Around 11-ish… I didn’t look at my watch.” 

“Why so late?” 

“Well I had some business appointments and dinner. After I sorted all this out, I got to the job at hand.” 

“What do you do during those jobs?” 

“I wait and observe. My client wants information, not that I interfere. I sat down at a table, ordered some water and watched my mark while I took some pictures.” 

“The pictures will be added as future evidence to the file of this case”, Wardle noticed and continued. “What happened next?” 

“It was late when one of the women came to my table and started talking. I had texted with my partner Miss Ellacott before, if you need the approximate time of her arrival.” 

“That would be very helpful, yes. The texts and the time will be added further to the evidence. Mr Strike, after the woman sat at your table, what did you do?” 

Strike tried to remember all of it. 

“She asked me if I wanted to come with her and I agreed after we talked about a price.” 

“You didn’t mind at all that she was…? Nevermind…”, said Wardle.  “Tell me what happened next.” 

“I followed her into a small broom closet, payed her and we fucked”, Strike said nonchalant and apathetic. “Why so shocked?”, he then said to the DI. “Never had a shag with a stranger before?” 

Wardle looked at him with a wide grin and shook his head as if he didn’t approve of all this.  

“After that you left?” 

“I did.” 

“Did you often have such adventures while observation?” 

“No. I usually never did this.” 

“Why last night?” 

“Well I had a weak moment”, he admitted and sipped on his coffee.  

“You immediately got home afterwards?” 

“Yes. It was early when I arrived at my office. Around 5.20am I think.” 

“And you did what?” 

“I headed to sleep. It had been a long day.” 

“And you knew nothing of her dead until I showed up in Denmark Street today?” 

“Nothing, no.” 

“Alright. Interview ends at 8.23am. Mr Strike will keep himself to our disposal but is free to leave for now.” 

Wardle ended the dictating machine and looked at him. 

“What a crap”, Wardle said once more. “I’m sorry mate but you know the procedure.” 

“Its fine”, Strike said. “Am I really allowed to go?” 

“Go… I can’t tie you to the murder so you’re free for now.” 

“Thanks Eric.” 

Strike put on his coat and drank the last sip of coffee. 

“Oh and Cormoran?” He turned to the Detective once more. “Talk to Robin. She deserves to know. I mean…” 

“Oh no… No, it’s not as you think it is. Robin and I, we are not a couple. Never were. She just stayed at my place because she had nowhere else to go after her breakup with Matthew and it was late last night so she stayed once more. I would never… if… no.” 

Wardle nodded and Strike left. The looks the other officers gave him where suspicious, sometimes hateful. Strike didn’t give a shit, left the building, lit up a cigarette and headed to the tube and home. On his way to the office he called a mechanic to look after the heating and picked up some fresh croissants and hot coffee for breakfast. There were still photographers in front of the flat and he had a hard time to get through them. He was sure that Robin hadn’t left the flat with them. He ignored their questions and got upstairs. As suspected, Robin was still here, fully dressed now but still wrapped in those blankets in front of her desk.  

“They let you go”, she said happily when he entered. 

“They had nothing to hold me. Here, hot coffee and fresh croissants.” 

“Bless you”, she said and took both. 

“I called because of the heating. Someone should be here very soon.” 

Strike sank on the sofa, drinking his second coffee and watched her. 

“Will you tell me what this was all about? I mean you didn’t do anything to her but why was he so sure you did? You saw her last night, did you?” 

“Robin I don’t wanna talk about this”, he mumbled.  

“You slept with her”, she said and he could hear the sad tone in her voice. 

Biggest mistake after not killing Laing when I had the chance, he thought. But instead of saying anything he stayed silent and faced her. She was sad and he felt even guiltier than before.  

“What do we got today?” 

“Nothing. I’ll be out for some observation soon and I have to pay some bills for the office”, she said and took a bite from a croissant.  

He did know what she wanted even if it were just some croissants for breakfast and he didn’t do anything wrong so why did she felt so hurt and sad? Don’t think about it, she said to herself and continued writing some bills when it knocked and a young mechanic stepped in. 

“Oh wow it really is freezing in here”, he said. “I’m coming to check on our heating system.” 

Strike showed him everything. When he returned to her, Robin put on her coat and slipped into her shoes. 

“You should definitely get some others”, he said and pointed on them. “I’m about too. And I thought about the thing you said because of the papers. Maybe we should play them so… Would it be ok if I stay here for a while again?“ 

“Sure. Anytime.” 

“Great. Thanks.” 

Robin left but he called after her. 

“Wait. I’ll call you a cab. You shouldn’t be out in this storm and the press…” 

“Oh… Okay.” 

She waited until the taxi arrived and he brought her downstairs. He carefully maneuverer her through the press and shoved her to the taxi. 

“Call me if you need something.” 

She nodded, he closed the door and the cab drove off. 

“Mr Strike, how’s your relationship with Miss Ellacott?” 

“Why was DI Wardle here?” 

“Is it true that you are related to another murder in one of the strip clubs?” 

“Will Robin move in?” 

“How’s the business going?” 

“Will you marry her?” 

Jeez… tabloids! He was sick of them. Angry he got in and sorted things with the mechanic.  


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something long again bc I probably won't have much time to update regularly this week. Work...  
> So I do hope you enjoy this long and very calm chapter :)

Robin was glad that she could get out for a while. She got to Octavian Street and changed. She still wore the warm and cosy pullover of Strike. It smelled like him and was so soft. Nick and Ilsa were at work so she wrote them a quick note that she would move to Strike again until further notice and thanked them for their hospitality. Robin packed her things and headed back to the cab that was waiting. She drove back to Denmarkt Street and got her things in. The journalists that lurked outside the office, asked her too.

“Why are you moving in again?”

“Why did you move out?”

“How’s the business going?”

“How’s your relationship with Strike?”

“Is he truly involved in a murder case?”

Robin ignored them, got upstairs and to his flat. It was warmer already and she could hear him in the bathroom. She put her suitcase in a corner, got some gloves and a beanie and left again for the job. 

She followed the banker for a while and took some photos. His boss suspected him for espionage and had hired them to find out if he had contact with other banks. So Robin followed him since weeks to find out what he did and when he did it. She had suspicions herself, that this was more than just espionage. She suggested that he was selling not only business intern information but also data from their customers. She didn’t have enough proof though. She had pictures of him talking to other bankers. Secret meetings in cafés and envelopes that got exchanged. Not enough to finish this case. She stayed by his side, unseen and invisible – like Strike had trained her. It was late and the storm got heavier while she stood by a bus stop and faked to study a plan while she watched her mark in the Starbucks shop opposite, buying coffee. 

“You know, this is actually a good cover”, she heard Strike behind her and startled. 

He stood in a house entrance, lighting up a cigarette.

“How long have you been here?”

“A while”, he said calm and watched her.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Robin stepped beside him and kept looking at the banker. 

“I had to go out. The press got more and more annoying. I had a meeting with Wardle and visited Shanker.”

“How is he?”

“He’s getting better.” 

“Glad to hear that.”

“How’s the case going? I read all about it in the files.”

“Good. I don’t have enough proof though. I don’t have documents or copies. Nothing. It’s kind of frustrating.”

“That’s the hard part of the job. But I’m sure you find a solution”, he said confident, leaned against the brick wall and continued smoking. 

“You will let me do this alone unless I ask?”, she wanted to know surprised.

“I will.”

“Why are you in such a good mood? You haven’t been this morning.”

He wasn’t, not really. He just was aware of the journalist following them so he had come to see her. He didn’t want the press to sniff around when they had an important case like that. So he distracted the man with visiting his partner and potential girlfriend and flirting with her. He had no clue how she would react but he just tried his best to distract the man from things at hand. He let his fingers glide over her cheek. Robin blushed and looked at him startled. 

“You simply make me happy. That’s all.”

He leaned down and instead of kissing her cheek, he whispered into her ear.

“We’re being watched from a journalist. Just play along, ok?”

Robin smiled and nodded. He smiled back and they both headed to the opposite Starbucks. It was very crowded and the banker was still there, sitting at a table near the window, reading the papers. 

Strike shoved her in a corner of the shop where no one could see them. 

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t want the press to sniff around when you’re on a case. We also agreed that we would give them what they want.”

“True that”, she mumbled. “So we play a couple in front of them just to make them believe until they’re no longer interested?”

“We could. I won’t do anything tough you don’t want me to do”, he said and looked straight at her.

Her eyes meet his and she nodded.

“Alright. Let’s do this. What about my case?”

“We can be here for a while. Maybe you can get your material today if we’re lucky.”

“C’mon let’s grab some coffee. You’re hands are freezing.”

He took her hand and led her to the counter where he ordered two coffee before they grabbed a seat a few tables away from her mark. He faced the window, looking for the journalist. She looked for the banker still reading his papers. He saw the man taking some pictures and tried to look happy instead of observant. 

“So what do you exactly think about all this? I read your notes. More than espionage? Kind of vague don’t you think?”

“I know it’s just a feeling and I can’t totally prove it. I need to see what he does. What he has on his desk.”

“I might have an idea because of this”, he said. “I’ll tell you more after some calls.”

“Thank you.”

“Does he do this often? Sit here and read?”

“Yes.”

“What does he do afterwards?”

“Not much. Sometimes meet up with girls, sometimes with colleagues. Sometimes he hits the gym.”

“So we could leave?”

“We could.”

“Good, because I’ve an idea for our little project.”

They finished their coffee and headed out. He stopped by the shop and turned his back to the man, looking at her.

“Trust me?”, he mumbled.

“You know I do.”

He bends down and kissed her on the cheek again, took her hand and wandered with her through the street. The man was following them. 

“I truly am sorry about all that’s happening right now. I… I fucked things up. Laing is still out there, the business is going miserable and I just don’t know how to go on with all of it.”

“We find a way. We always do”, she said and squeezed his hand to reassure him that she was there. 

“I wanted a partner. I wanted to give you a good job, a good salary by now and instead we’re in this mess”, he said. “I’m glad you’re still here though.”

She smiled. Robin was happy, that he seemed to talk to her about all this. That he seemed to be more open than usual. She couldn’t quite make out why though. Strike seemed to feel guilty for something he had done. For something that he had done last night. Something that was connected to the murder in the strip club. They took the tube, the journalist still at their side. The tube was nearly empty and they had a carriage for them alone. Strike tiredly sat on one of the seats and pulled her beside him. The journalist kept his distance but Strike could see him watching them. He felt how stiff Robin was with his arm around her shoulder. Once more he seemed to kiss her on the cheek but instead he whispered.

“Relax. I won’t do more than this.”

“It’s not this… It’s…”

Robin rested her head against his shoulder and a hand on his chest. It was comforting and she felt safe in his arms. She was sad that all this was just a charade, nothing more. He tilted up her chin with his finger and she looked him in his dark blue eyes. 

“You know you should eat more. You lost some weight again.”

“How… Nevermind, I don’t want to know how you know this.”

He grinned and kissed her temple. He could feel her heartbeat fasten and see her pupils dilate. He wished that this would be more than a cover. That he could touch and hold her whenever he wanted. It would never happen. His phone vibrated and he took it out of his coat pocket. A text from Wardle.

_Found more evidence that ties you to the murder. Be careful, the yard is just looking for an excuse to kick your arse after you solved so many cases. I can’t protect you for much longer._

“Shit”, he mumbled and put the phone away.

“What is it?”

“Not now. I’ll tell you at home.”

At home… Hearing those words from him made the small attic flat even more comfortable than it was. She had always liked it there. It was her place of comfort. Like he had said he did not touch her or tried anything else. This made him nervous. Having her so near, having thought about her last night and the journalist on their heels. A few minutes later they arrived at their station. His leg hurt when he stood up and she could see that he was in pain. She helped him and made it look as if she was putting her arm around his waist. It was quite early when they arrived in Denmark Street. There were still some journalists and photographers in front of their doorstep. He slowed her down.

“What do we get for dinner by the way?”, he asked.

“Oh… We have something left from yesterday.”

“What about Chinese?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“We do have to pass them. I know a good restaurant at the end of the road.”

“You know they will follow us.”

“That’s the plan.”

“This is kinda fun”, Robin admitted and giggled. 

They changed to the other side of the sidewalk and headed past them. Some saw them hand in hand and they started making pictures. Some followed them to the restaurant where the only table left was one near the window. Crap. Strike didn’t think of that. 

“Shall we take it or order and leave?”, he asked.

“Let’s take it.”

“Okay.”

He was curious how she would handle the situation with the paparazzi lurking at the window. Robin got rid of her coat. She wore a plaid shirt and a cosy pullover over it. Only now he realised that it was one of his own. Strike wore his usual brown jumper and one of his blue shirts under it. His leg hurt more and he was quite happy when he could sit once more and rest his leg. Robin knew that this would be a challenge but she wanted to enjoy this a bit longer. Faking that they were a couple made her realise that she could finally do what she secretly wanted and that he would never know because they were both playing their part. Just a bit longer, she said herself. They both ordered and not half an hour later their food arrived. They had dinner but he could see some of the men taking photographs. 

“This is really good”, she said over a fork full of food. “Wanna try something?”

He nodded and she feed him. They were sitting closer than normal and her knee brushed his.

“This is good”, he admitted.

Oh gosh she looked so lovely in the dim lights of the restaurant. Her eyes were glowing and he realised that her eyes were wandering to his lips. No he would not kiss her. He promised her. With his thumb he brushed some sauce of the corner of her mouth and licked it off. She blushed. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles before he cheerfully ate his dinner. They shared some desert and left. It was freezing and Robin started shaking. When they stepped outside press was still there. Crap!

“Mr Strike! How is the investigation in the new murder case going on?”

“How long have you been together?”

“Will you two make this relationship official then?”

“What is it with the murdered stripper?”

How the fuck did they know about that? He grumbled, pulled her closer and they both hurried to his flat. The snow lay thick on the streets and sometimes Robin slipped. His strong arms were holding her safely and she looked thankfully up to meet his glowing eyes. He saw a shadow and looked up. Just one of the journalists who had wanted to take a picture, he realised. Soon they got bored and left them alone.

“Well they got some pictures”, she mumbled. 

Another shadow irritated him and when he looked away he saw a figure hiding in one of the dark alleys. He turned around and let go of Robin. 

“What is it?”

He made a step forward and slipped on some ice. He turned his knee and fell down. Immediately Robin was by his side.

“Jeez Cormoran, are you alright?”

He grumbled and swore under his breath while Robin helped him up. Thankfully the journalists had gone and hadn’t seen this. She helped him up while he leaned against the house wall.

“Fucking hell!”, he said.

“Slowly now. C’mon…”, she said. “Lean on me.”

He obeyed this time and together they slowly made their way forward. The stairs up to his flat were the worst. Sweat was dripping down his back and every step was a torture. 

“Just a few more then we’re done, come on.”

Robin was glad when they made it. He was heavy after all. Carefully she got him to the bedroom and sat him on the bed. She bolted the door like usual, put off her coat and got back to him. Strike had removed his coat by now and was working to get out of his trousers. He grunted in pain. She stepped beside him and steadied Strike. 

“Let me help. Please.”

He nodded but stayed silent. Fucking brilliant! Her fingers worked on his belt and soon had opened it. She shoved down his trousers and helped him sit down again. 

“I told you, never make me do this again”, she joked slightly. 

“You don’t have to… “

“Will you shut up and let me do this?”

He could see her little smile. Carefully she slid down his trousers and uncovered his prosthesis. She worked carefully.

“Just roll it down”, he grumbled. 

She carefully did as he had said and rolled down the fabric over the prosthesis. 

“Let me…”, he said.

Immediately she let it go and he himself popped of the prosthesis. He groaned. Crap! His stump was red and inflamed. One of the old scars that had troubled him since a while now was ripped open and some blood was dripping down on the wooden floor. Robin had gotten up and headed to the bathroom where she had gotten a soft and soaked towel. Now she kneed beside him. He wanted to shove her away but stayed silent.

“May I?” 

He nodded. Carefully she wiped away all the blood before she cleaned up the floor. This was a fucking problem. 

“What to do next?”, she asked carefully.

Robin knew him long enough and had detected his bad mood already which was always the case when it came to his leg.

“I’ve something in the bathroom. Help me up.”

“Do you have an idea how heavy you are for me? Definitely not! I’ll get you everything you need. Just wait here.”

He knew that she wanted to joke to make him feel better and he smiled a little.

“Alright!”, he said playing annoyed. “There are some creams and some bandages in the small closet under the sink. You’ll know what they are when you see them.”

She got up and left. He was exhausted and annoyed. He had imagined this evening differently. He pulled off his jumper and opened the first buttons of his shirt. The shadow… He had been sure that it had been Laing. His partner soon returned with the things he had asked her to bring. Once more the young woman sank on her knees in front of him. Goddamn it! Some scenes he had imagined last night, flashed up on his inner eye. He needed to concentrate on this. 

“I can handle this from here, thanks Robin.”

“I’ll be next door if you need me.”

Robin understood that he wanted some privacy so she headed next door to change. She decided to gamble and changed into nothing more than her panties and a black lace negligee that just reached over her butt. Thankfully she wore some nice panties, she thought while braiding her hair and heading to the kitchen counter to get a glass of water and a drink for Strike. She heard him getting up and grabbing something, probably his crotches. A few seconds later he entered the other room. He immediately stopped when he saw her. Oh gosh... He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and looked at her while she poured herself a glass of water and a drink for him. 

“Thanks”, he said when she put the glass in front of him.

Her beautiful long legs were the only thing he saw right now. The fabric was barely reaching over her butt and he tried not to stare. He could see everything under the light material. She truly was a beautiful woman. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired”, he simply said. 

“Yes… It’s been a long day”, Robin agreed while crossing her legs and sipping from her water. 

She looked on the bandage he had put around his leg. Careless work.

“This can make things worse if you put it around like that. Let me do it please.”

“Robin I…”

“What did we say about protesting?”

He rolled his eyes at her and got up before he got back to the bedroom. Robin finished her glass and followed him silently. Once more he sat on the edge of the bed and she kneed in front of him. he undid the bandage and redid it. Her hands were careful and she took her time. He could see her breasts under the light material, her hair fell forwards and he put a strand of hair back behind her ear. She blushed and smiled a bit while finishing her work.

“That’s better”, she said and fixed the bandage once more. “Do you need anything else?”

“No thanks”, he said in a soft voice and looked down at her. 

He let his hand glide over her cheek and his thumb over her lips. So beautiful… He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. If he was still here and a free man, or if he still had a job. The only thing he knew for sure was that he loved her. 

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Your welcome”, she said silently and stood up.

He told himself to let her go. If she stayed, he was not sure what he would do. Robin was unsure what to do either and left it alone for now. She had never done anything like this. The relationship with Matthew had been his initiative and he had always taken the lead. Robin heard him getting up again and opening the door once more.

“Where are you going?”, he asked. 

“Oh I…”, she stuttered. “I wanted to go to sleep.”

“On the sofa?” She nodded. “Without blanked or anything? Do you mind terribly if you sleep at my bed? I have no clue where my sleeping-bag is at the moment. And it’s more comfortable than the sofa, you said so yourself.”

“But just if you don’t snore!”

She headed back to him and they both got into bed. Strike put off his shirt and slipped into a t-shirt while she lay down and made herself comfortable. Fuck, he should have taken some pain killers before bed.

“Do you need some pain killers?”, she asked as if she could read his mind.

“Yes please. There are some in the bathroom.”

She got up again and he once more had the chance to look at her delicious backside. She returned with some painkillers and a glass of water. Strike took two and lay down. Robin faced him and watched him while he lay on his back, eyes closed and way too aware of her presence. 

“Who texted you earlier on the tube?”, she then asked into the silence between them.

“Wardle. He just warned me.”

“About what?”

“Some of his colleagues want my arse. They found more evidence that I killed this woman and they just would be too glad if they could lock me up for this.”

“You should talk to Ilsa. Maybe she can help.”

“No need. I’m sure they won’t find anything and all will be forgotten soon.”

Robin wasn’t quite sure he was right. She was worried about him. Wardle was a good detective and knew what was going on at the yard. And the thing with Laing… He still was way too caught up in all this. She was worried, that he would make a mistake that would cost him his life. He wasn’t careful enough when it came to his cases and the dangers that came with it. 

“What is it Robin?”, he said in the dark of the room.

“Nothing.”

“Something’s wrong. I can feel it.”

He searched her hand in the dark and took it into his. She didn’t shove him away and accepted this gesture. 

“You know I’m quite happy that you were so eager to stay when we first meet”, he said and remembered the day when Charlotte had broken up with him and he had nearly killed Robin. 

She too remembered that day and smiled now. 

“You had no money at all to pay me and it made Matthew mad that I had decided to stay nonetheless. It was the job. I wasn’t ready to let go of my dream.”

“You always wanted to have a job like this?”, he said interested. 

Robin had never told him. She shifted a bit and got closer while playing with his fingers. His hand was big and warm. 

“That was the reason I had decided to study psychology. I always wanted got get into the detective business. Well as profiler or something like that. But when I started working for you, it was my door that had opened. You didn’t want me to show you a degree and some stupid certificate what I had done already. You accepted what I could do when it was needed. You trusted me.”

“I never had a thing for all this stuff you needed. I dropped out too and I know what this means. So I swore myself – after I left the SIB – to never judge people by what school degree they had but by what they can actually do. What they are capable off.”

“I’m glad I could stay. This meant so much to me and it still does. I love this job and...”

“Yes?”, he said and waited.

“I’m thankful. For everything you did over the last years and months. Especially when everything with Matthew went wrong.”

He wanted to tell her that that was, what friends did but he would have lied. He never wanted her to get married to this fucker in the first place. He had been happy when they had broken up. He wanted her to be his. But then he wasn’t sure if he could do it. All his past relationships had failed. The only constant thing he has had was with Charlotte. And Robin was too good. To pure to be fucked up with a relationship that would never hold due to the job. He didn’t want to use her for fun though. He knew he could. He knew he would get her to play along and enjoy herself. He had always been good when it came to sex and to seduce a woman. But he simply didn’t want to do it. Not her. Not his Robin. She was too good for this. Robin could feel that he was deep in thoughts and let it be. She kept holding his hand, closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

Strike couldn’t sleep. His leg hurt like shit and he couldn’t stop thinking of her. Getting up wasn’t an option but he craved for a cigarette and a drink. He let go of her hand and got up. Apparently she was already asleep. He got the crutches from the floor, got up and silently as possible headed out of the room. Strike got himself a beer and a cigarette before he sank on the small sofa. Smoking and drinking until Strike finally fell asleep after a while. Strike woke from a small hand, running through his hair. Robin stood beside him and tried to wake him slowly.

“Let’s get you into bed”, she said and smiled. 

Without thinking he pulled her on him and stroked her hair out of Robins face. The negligee was pushed up while she sat on his lap. He let his hand slide over her tights and looked at her. She didn’t do anything to shove him away. Her hands lay on his chest and she just looked at him, lips parted, slightly blushed.

“You’re so beautiful”, Strike mumbled. “I know this is wrong, all of this but… God I can’t help myself right now.”

“How is it wrong?”

“You’re too good for me”, he mumbled. “You deserve so much better.”

“But I don’t want anyone else.”

She pressed her lips against his and he fell…

“Cormoran, wake up!”, he heard her and woke up.

Robin was standing beside him. He looked at her confused and she smiled a bit. Just a dream, he thought. Nothing had happend.

“Let’s come to bed.”

She helped him up and got him back into bed. Robin could feel that something was wrong, didn’t ask him though. 

“How’s your leg?”, she asked carefully why laying down beside him. 

“Better”, he lied. 

She was way closer than before and rested her hand against his upper arm while her leg was lazily brushing against his. After a while and to his surprise, he fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one but with a basic scene... I'm so sorry guys.

Robin woke up early beside him. He looked tired so she carefully got up and let him sleep. After a quick shower she got dressed and just made them some tea when the doorbell rang. She opened and a minute later it softly knocked at the door of the flat.

“Come in!”, she said in a good mood. 

In stepped Wardle with the young police officer she knew too, Vanessa Ekwensi.

“Good morning, tea?”, she asked and smiled.

“No thank you. Where’s Strike?”

“Still sleeping. Can I help Detective?”

“I’m sorry but no. I’m here to arrest him due to a murder charge.”

“But he didn’t do anything!”, she said. 

“I’m not the one that has to decide this Robin. I’m sorry. Could you please wake him?”

“No need for that Eric. I’m already awake”, Strike said.

He was standing in the door to his bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. He was dressed and wore his prosthesis. 

“I’m truly sorry mate”, Eric said while stepping closer and pulling out some handcuffs. 

“Can we wait with those? I need my hands when going down the stairs. My leg”, he mumbled and the DI accepted. 

Robin could see how much he was in pain but stayed silent. This wasn’t happening. He got into his coat when she stepped to him. She wanted to say something but she had no words. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll be home soon”, he mumbled, stroke her cheek and left with Wardle and the young police woman. 

Downstairs Wardle handcuffed him and lead him through the press to the waiting police car. Fuck! He truly hoped that his plan would work. He knew how the system worked so he wasn’t too concerned that this would not work out to his advantages. But still there could be complications. And he was afraid for Robin. This maniac was still out there and Shanker was in hospital and not able to help or protect her. No he needed to stop thinking about all that could go wrong. Robin was good in what she did. She could do it. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello y'all,  
> quite busy with work again.  
> So once more a long chapter to keep you all occupied for the next time ;)   
> Calm weekend ahead and I need a bit of me-time so I will write but won't update anything until I'm home again. Oh and I'll start reading "Lethal White" this weekend and hopefully I'll finish it before Monday.   
> cu, Y.

Robin felt as if someone had slapped her. What was going on? He wasn’t the one that had killed the woman. Why arrest him? Angry and not sure what to do, she slipped in her coat, took her purse and phone and left the flat. Press was still outside and it was hard to get through them.

“Robin, were do they take him?”

“Did he kill the woman?”

“Why was he in a strip club in the first place?”

“You seem to have kind of an open relationship when he is with other women at the same time than he is with you.”

She angry looked at the young journalist that had said this but stayed silent. Some were waiting that she said something but instead Robin turned away and headed to the tube. She put her already freezing hands in her pockets when she realised something was there. Robin stopped and pulled it out. It was Strike’s notebook he usually carried. Why was it in her pockets? She opened it and found a note addressed to her.

_Robin, I’m not unprepared for what is coming. I worke_ _d on a plan to catch Laing. Shank_ _er’s boys know what’s going on, they’ll contact you and you can call them every time you need something._ _Ilsa knows too. She’ll come and visit me soon. Keep the business running and stay careful. Laing is still out there. In this notebook are some information and leads for you to follow. I know you can get me out and sort all that is going on. I’m counting on you. S._

Her hands were shaking and she tried not to cry. He trusted her with this, she could do this! Robin headed to the tube and went to the hospital to visit Shanker.

“Hey sweetheart”, he said from a chair by the window.

“Hey Shanker”, she greeted and hugged him. “How are you?”

“Getting there”, he said. “I can leave when my tests are good tomorrow.”

“That’s good news”, she said truly happy for him. “Shall I bring you home or anything?”

“Thanks dear, but I think I can manage. How’s Bunsen? He was here yesterday. Didn’t seem too happy though. He was kinda erratic and overworked?”   
“He got arrested for murder Shanker.”

“What? He didn’t tell me anything about that! What’s going on here Robin?”

She sat down to him and handed him a small letter from Strike. 

_Shanker, Robin told you by now what happened. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. Please help her as best as you can and try to catch Laing. Keep her safe. S._

Shanker sighed. What did Bunsen do? 

“Tell me exactly what had happened Robin.”

“He was on observation in this strip club. A client’s girlfriend is working there and since he is very suspicious, he contacted us to watch her. Anyway… He was there and – according to the files – he met up with a stripper and…” He knew what had happened so he made her continue. “The next day Wardle showed up and took him for questioning. The woman was found dead through an anonymous call. The police found more evidence and today they arrested him for murder. I’ve to get him out Shanker.”

“We’ll get him out, don’t worry Robin. What else is there?”

“He said he talked to your boys about a plan to catch Laing, but nothing more.”

“Yeah I know about that”, he admitted and got up to ring for a nurse. “I gotta get out here.” A minute later the nurse arrived and asked what he needed. “Get me a doctor please. I need to talk to them, it’s important.”

Unwillingly she obeyed after he got angry and soon after a doctor arrived.

“What is it Mr Herbert?”

“I gotta get out of here. Important business.”

“But you will get out tomorrow anyway”, the Doctor said and looked at his chart.

“I gotta get out now Doc.”

“Alright, if you must”, said the Doctor after Shanker had shoved a 50 pound note in his hand. “I’ll get you the papers in a few minutes.”

The doctor left and Robin smiled. So this was his recipe how he got what he wanted: money. Shanker quickly dressed in the bathroom and packed his small bag when the Doctor got back not five minutes later. He handed him his discharge papers and left. 

“Let’s go”, Shanker said and Robin followed him outside. “I think Bunsen will kill me for this but let’s go and see my boys. You should know what’s going on.”

He hailed a cab and they drove to a dingy little club near the docs. He paid the driver and shoved her in. It was dimly lit inside and smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. She followed him inside to the bar where  some men sat. 

“Boss!”, said one and stepped to him. 

Shanker handed him the bag, thanked him and stepped to the others while Robin waited. She had known that Shanker was doing business outside the law but this was different than from what she imagined. The other man greeted him and some whispered something in his ear. This strangely reminded her of The Godfather and it made her a bit scared. Shanker was a good guy, but all this was not right. She tried to shove her prejudices away and just concentrate on the task at hand. After a few minutes Shanker stepped to her, took her hand and presented her to his guys.

“Boys, this is Robin. Bunsen’s Robin. So be nice and behave”, he joked and winked at her. 

Robin smiled a bit while the others interested looked at her. She was thankful that she had decided on some jeans today. 

“I know we aren’t supposed to tell her but Bunsen’s in prison. He’s supposed to have murdered a woman. We all know that this is a joke but we have to prove them wrong. So we also have to catch this fucker. Let’s tell her what’s going on and let’s work together to get Bunsen out and Laing into jail.”

“Ay…”, they said in union. 

Robin and Shanker joined them at the table.

“What do you want to drink sweetheart?”, asked one of the men.

He was taller than Shanker, had broad shoulders and it seemed as if his nose had been broken. 

“Some water please”, she said and smiled a bit. 

“Did Bunsen tell you anything about his plan to catch Laing?”

“No nothing. I didn’t even knew he had one”, Robin admitted. 

“Alright so Bunsen knew some things from his time at the army. He spoke to an old friend who started investigating for him and the friend did send him all the files and suspicions they had on Laing. We too started investigating and found some things so far. Some murders that have the same pattern than the Ripper murders and that never got solved. Bunsen wants this fucker not only to go for jail for what he did already, but for all the things that he did and no one could trace to him. It is a good plan. We are still searching for more though and for him of course. He’s very good at hiding in plain sight. It’s hard but we’re getting there.”

“Alright”, she said and took a sip of her water.

Shanker pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up.

“Where was the last place we did see Laing?”, she asked into the round of men.

A young boy about 16 answered. 

“After he left the house where he met you, he showed up in Denmark Street. We saw him lurking outside the house and watching you. After that he also showed up in Croyden, Holloway and near the Bridewell Theater.”

“The Bridewell Theater?”, she asked a bit shocked.

“Yes, that was yesterday.”

She and Strike had been in the Starbucks near Bridewell Theater yesterday. When she had watched the banker. So Laing seemed to still be watching them. Shanker saw that she got pale.

“What is it Robin?”, he asked.

“Strike and I were near the Bridewell Theater yesterday. I was watching a suspect of ours.”

“He is still watching you”, also said another man. 

The man looked very beaten up, had broad shoulders and also was quite tall. All were tall and muscular and looked dangerous. But all seemed to be quite nice and helpful when it came to Shanker and Shankers friends. She wouldn’t want to be on the side of their enemies though. 

“Alright boys you know what that means.”

“No… No Shanker you need your men for finding him and getting more evidence against him.”

“We will find him quicker if one of my men follows and keeps an eye on you. And I promised Bunsen to keep you safe.”

“I can keep myself safe”, she said stubborn.

Shanker laughed and smiled. He could see why Strike did fell for her. She was strong, stubborn, beautiful and had a big heart. He too had immediately liked her. 

“Alright. Let’s find out more about Bunsen’s problem right now.”

One of his men handed him a file and Robin saw that it was a copy of the actual police file. Where the hell did he get those?

“You guys read it already?”, he asked his men and they all confirmed it. 

Shanker read it and then looked at Robin. She wanted to know what was in there. What had happened that night. Shanker knew, as soon as he had read Strike’s statement, why he haven’t had told her. There was nothing to judge here, but Robin wouldn’t like it nonetheless. He handed her the file and she quickly read it. She had been right. He had slept with this woman. 

“So..”, she said and cleared her throat. “How do we find more evidence to prove he’s innocent?”

“CCTV”, said one of the men. “The CCTV of the tube. If we can prove that he was at the tube at the time of dead, he should be out.”

“And we need to find someone who might have seen Laing or her once more before her dead”, said another.

“That’s good boys. Alright then let’s do this.”

They stood up and left. Shanker and Robin were the only one remaining. 

“Don’t worry too much”, Shanker said. “He’ll be fine.”

“Thanks for everything Shanker. I… I’ll get the money as soon as I can for you.”

“Don’t bother”, he said and rested his hand on her arm. “See it as a favour.”

She hugged him.

“Thank you for everything Shanker”, she mumbled.

“You’re welcome girl.”

“I.. I gotta go. I’ve some more jobs for today.”

“Can I bring you somewhere?”

“It’s fine. I’ll take the tube. Oh and thanks for introducing me and telling me all this.”

“I’ll call if we find something.”

“So will I”, she winked and left for the tube to head and observe Mad Dad. 

She had received mails from their clients and he and Two Times were, beside the banker, the only ones left now. She was grateful because she would never have had the time for all the 6 clients but she knew that this meant that their business was even more in danger now. Mad Das was crazy like usual and followed his sons from school to their home and continued watching them until it was late. Robin watched him and took pictures she would send their client tomorrow. There was another trial and the mother would need them as evidence. She then immediately headed to the flat of the girlfriend from Two Times and followed her too. Since she was a woman she wasn’t allowed to go into the club and waited for a while. The young woman didn’t come out and Robin left because she couldn’t do anything else. It was late in the evening already. She wanted to know what had happened to Strike since he didn’t call or anything. She called Ilsa on her way to the tube.

“Robin, good of you to call. It’s about Strike, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I’m sorry if it is inconvenient but I need to know how he is.”

“No it’s alright. I just sorted some things in the baby’s room. Let me sit down for a moment. My feet are killing me.”

She heard Ilsa sit down and smile. She thankfully has never had problems with her feet while… She ignored the thought and concentrated on Strike’s case.

“I arrived very early and he gave his statement again. Wardle was very kind but was compelled by his superiors to do something. He asked him his questions, tried to force him to a confession but Strike stayed calm. He knows how these things are. He had done this job many years. They couldn’t do anything but kept him as suspect. I tried to plead for a bail but they wouldn’t listen. They brought him to Belmarsh. I haven’t seen him since then.”

Robin knew from some research that Belmarsh was a category A prison. She wondered why they had put him there. He would never run or try to escape. He knew what was at stake. 

“Can I see him?”, Robin asked.

“I’m not sure. I’ll ask and inform you as soon as I know anything.”

“Thank you Ilsa.”

“Nick just called. Dinner’s ready and I’m starving. Do you need anything else or can I go and eat all on my own”, she joked slightly.

“No”, Robin laughed. “It’s fine. Go and enjoy dinner. And say hello to Nick.”

“I will. Thanks Robin, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

She hung up and smiled a bit. She was thankful that Ilsa took the case. She decided to call Wardle.

“DI Wardle”, he took the call.

“Yes, hello, this is Robin. Robin Ellacott. I know this is inappropriate but I wanted to ask how things are.”

“I can’t speak right now. Can I call you back?”

“Sure. You’ve my number?”   
“Yes.”

“Thanks Detective, bye.”

He had hung up before she could say anything else. Quite unsatisfied by the last call she finally reached the tube and headed home to Strike’s flat. She felt uncomfortable and watched on the way from the tube station to number six. When she finally arrived she let out a sigh of relieve and immediately got upstairs. After picking up some notes from the office she locked herself into his flat and made herself comfortable. It was sad and lonely without him but she tried to ignore it and concentrated on her work.   
Robin had opened a bottle of wine and sat over the small notebook. There were addresses, names, phone numbers and small sketches of houses, people or maps. Questions that needed an answer and questions that had been answered. Every now and then she found the questions ‘Why Robin?’ and ‘revenge??’ scribbled down. After a few more pages she found a second note addressed to her.

_Robin, I made some files myself and stored them under a loosened wooden plank under the bed. Don’t give them to anyone. There are things in it that are from high security files of t_ _he SIB. Look at them if you must but don’t let the things in it distract and bother you too much. S._

Interested Robin took the wine with her and headed to the bedroom. She crawled under the bed and found what he had described. A few minutes later she sat on the bed, another glass of wine and looked at the files. The content was definitely disturbing. There were files from Strike’s case against him with photos, official notes and statements. Even an official tape and video was in it. She looked at all of it and was disgusted. It had been worse than Strike had told her. Way worse. 

Strike was quietly transferred into Belmarch and got a single room in a high security wing of the prison. He found it amusing that they thought he would be this dangerous. He knew why they did it and that most of this was just protocol. What was troubling him though, was the fact that some of the inmates were here because of him. He knew he wouldn’t have a quiet time. The guards were highly qualified, yet quite agreeable if you kept a low profile. They even took their time up the stairs. He thanked the man – probably ex Army – and was now in his cell. It was a quiet room at the end of a corridor and he could see out of London. He was sure that he had to thank Ilsa and Wardle for this. Exhausted and in pain he sank on the small bed. He even had a notebook to sort his thoughts. He hoped that Robin could work with his notes and was careful out there. 

After a few hours alone and able to sort his thoughts, a guard opened the door and they headed down with the other prisoners for dinner. He tried not to let the others see how much he limped and that he had a weakness. He didn’t want them to give a reason to try something. He looked for a quiet spot, since the room where they had dinner was very big and just a few highly secured prisoners were here. He could feel the others eyes on him, hear them whisper. As he remembered the prison food was disgusting. He had been imprisoned once, for an undercover mission during his time at the SIB. They left him alone until they all had finished their dinner. 

“Hey newbie!”, shouted one. “Don’t I know you?”

“Yeah”, agreed another. “You seem f’miliar!”

“Isn’t that the bloke from the papers?”, said a third.

“Ay the Detective?”, asked the first.

“No man, the private investigator! The one that ‘olved the case of the model”, said the second.

“Yeah!!”, shouted another one. “This… Camberon Strike!”

“He is”, said a quite familiar voice. “This fucker got me in here.”

Like he had foreseen there were still some of the prisoners he got in here. This one was a very familiar man. Ex Army, in his mid 40s, still very muscular and trained. He had got him in here because he had smuggled weapons and drugs with some blokes. Keaveney. Jack Keaveney. Strike got him a dishonourable discharge and 15 years. It was the year before he had his accident so Jack had still some more years to go. The man headed towards his spot and stepped in front of him, arms crossed.

“Nice to see you. After all those years.” Strike stayed silent. “We still have something to sort out. You dick got me in here in the first place”, the man said with a heavy Irish accent. 

“I did my job”, Strike said finally and stood up. 

He wasn’t nearly as tall or strong as the other man but he would not let this one undermine his worth in front of the whole room. If this one was to get him down now, just through words, he had lost already. The others gathered closer. None of the guards looked or seem to care unless they would kill each other there was no reason to interfere.

“Still an arrogant prick”, Keaveney said disgusted and spit on the ground. 

“And you seem to be still sure that no one and nothing can touch you.”

Now the whispering started and he could see the others looking curiously. Keaveney took him by the shirt and pushed him rough against a nearby stone pillow.

“Listen you sucker. I’m the one in charge here. These fuckers listen to what I have to say. So if you think you can disobey our rules…”

“There are rules?”, Strike said.

Keaveney punched him in the stomach. Once, twice. The others stood way too close and the guards couldn’t see anything. They still stayed where they were. A third punch followed and after he let him go, Strike sank on the floor, holding his ribs. The bastard had punched him in the kidneys. 

“Step in line Strike or you will feel the consequences. And this thing between us, it’s not done yet.”

“Oi!”, shouted a guard and stepped closer. “Back to your seats!”

While the crowd moved, Strike pulled himself up on one of the steal benches and got on his feet. Fucking bastard! A few minutes later they got to their rooms again. Jack was walking behind him and once tripped him up so he fell while walking up some iron stairs. Angry he looked at him while he pulled himself up again. This time he couldn’t prevent a slight limp. When he then found Keaveney’s eye, he knew that his time would be miserable here. He had found his weak spot. It was already late when they were back in their cells and when he finally could lay down. God he craved for a cigarette and a beer. Carefully he got out of his trousers and then his prosthesis. It hurt like hell when he put it off and he could see why. The bandage was bloody and when he put it off he could see that the inflammation got worse and the scar too. He put it back on to not get something in the wound and lay down. Rest… That surely was all he needed right now. His head hit the small pillow and a few minutes later he was asleep. 


	16. Chapter 16

_3 days later_

The next days had gotten worse for him. Keaveney had found his ways to make his life miserable and to beat him whenever he had the possibility. He felt that the Irishman had payed some guards off to look away whenever he pleased. It was afternoon and they had some free time when Strike decided to head down and take a shower. He wanted to be alone for once and this was his opportunity. He was already finished and had put back on his prosthesis when Jack stood in front of him with two of his guys. 

“Time to pay…”, said the other one and showed him a knife.  

Where the hell did he get this one? Strike braced himself for what would happen. The two man stepped to him and wanted to hold him but he wouldn’t make it that easy and punched both of them so they stumbled away. They jostled for a while and beat him up until he was on the ground. Blood dripped from the usual cut at his eye and someone kicked him in the guts. He tried to get up again and after he managed he kicked their arses as good as he could. Keaveney soon was annoyed by this struggling and took things in his own hand. He punched him hard and he got to the ground once more. Strike spit blood and looked angry at the man above him. The other two pulled him up and against the wall when the Irishmen stepped even closer.  

“You know I had a good life. I had enough money, a beautiful wife and two kids. We were happy. I had a good reputation in the army and enjoyed what I did. Life was good. Until you started sniffing around with your boys. We lost a lot of money at first, then I lost everything. My wife left me. She said she didn’t want anything to do with a man that sells drugs and weapons. She’s re-married now with some fucking lawyer!” 

Strike realised now, that all the blokes he had got to prison must hated him like this. Apparently they all seemed as if he had destroyed their lives. He was sick of this. Being blamed just because he did what was right. He struggled against the grip of the two men. They punched him again.  

“All that had happened”, Strike then said, “is your doing.” 

Human nature, Strike thought. They always needed to blame someone for things they did wrong. Keaveney stepped to him and held the knife at his throat. 

“You know nothing!”, he screamed at him. 

“C’mon”, Strike said challenging and quite annoyed. “If you have the guts, you’ll do it. You’ll end it here and now.” 

He wasn’t afraid of dying, never had been. He would find it most inconvenient right now but he couldn’t care. He would miss Robin though. Sleeping beside her, touching her, making her tea and watching her while she worked concentrated. But he wouldn’t mind dead.  

“It would be way too easy like this”, murmured the other one and let the knife slide down his still bare chest. He started cutting him. Places with less blood and painful. He supressed a cry of anger and pain, when he cut him by his inner tight. Blood started streaming violently out of the wound. Must have got the artery, Cormoran thought while he also cut him at the hip, the stomach, his arms, cheek, chest and when he finally rammed the knife into his shoulder. Their strong grip was the only thing that kept him upright right now. Jack saw what he had done to him and that he lost a lot of blood. He didn’t want to be involved in killing someone now that he nearly was out. He and his men left, after beating him some more. Strike knew that he had to do something if he wanted to survive. But then he was too weak already. He hasn’t felt very good and the wound on his stump had been infected. But now, with all the blood leaving his body at this speed… He lay in his own blood and the remaining water of his shower – the sink was partly blocked – and thought of a way to do this but then his thoughts kept drifting to Robin. Flashbacks to when he had first met her, to her wounded after the accident with the cab, to her driving, smiling and eating with him. Drunk Robin, caring Robin, his Robin… Robin in her wedding dress. She had looked so beautiful, an angel in white. He would never forget the moment when she had looked at him, beaming and had said the important words: I do. It was to him. Not to Matthew, not the others. To him.  

“Oy… Strike!”, he heard a guard coming closer. “Someone’s here to see you. A girl, very beautiful. She…” He could hear the officer’s steps stop. “Fuck! Prisoner down. I need and ambulance down by the showers asap! He’s been stabbed.” 

The man kneed beside him, feeling his pulse when Strike sleepily smiled. His Robin was here. After all she still came… 

 

Robin couldn’t bear this silence and not knowing what was going on. She had urged Ilsa to see him and today would be the day. She had woke up quite motivated, even after only a few hours of sleep. She showered and chosen her clothes carefully. She wanted to look good for him. Robin had decided on something comfortable since she had to go and do the observations later. She wore tight jeans she knew Strike would particularly like, high brown leather boots, a tight black blouse and a white knitted pullover over all this. It was still freezing outside and she had to stay warm. She had driven to the prison after a boring day at the office and nothing than phoning with clients, writing mails and bills. It was early afternoon when she arrived to the visiting hours. Ilsa had made sure that she was able to see him. She registered at the information and soon she was brought to a small room with a few small tables and some chairs where some visitors were already waiting. An old lady with her grandson and a young pregnant woman where here. Robin greeted them and sat at a small table beside the window. She waited and even after the other two prisoners had arrived, Strike didn’t show up. Didn’t he want to see her? Was he rejecting her visit? She already wanted to leave when another guard stepped to her and asked her to come with him. She obeyed.  

“Miss… There are some complications. You won’t be able to see Mr Strike today.” 

“What? Why?” 

“We… He had an accident”, he said. 

“An accident? Please tell me what happened”, she begged the young man desperate. 

“He got into a fight with some other prisoners as it seems. He got heavily injured. That’s all I’m allowed to say right now.” 

“Can I see him?” 

“Miss… I don’t think that’s possible”, he said. “I’m sorry.” 

Robin left and after she was out on the streets again, immediately called Ilsa. 

“Robin, hi.” 

“Hi Ilsa. I’m sorry to call again but… I was at the prison to see him like you organised and I couldn’t because apparently he had an accident. A fight with some other inmates. They didn’t tell me more. Please… I’m worried. Could you…” 

“Fucking arseholes!”, Ilsa shouted at the other end. “Stay where you are. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 

“Thanks.” 

Robin did as she was asked and 20 minutes later Ilsa walked towards her.  

“Let’s get this sorted”, she said and walked in. 

After a lot of protest from her side they finally found out, that he immediately had been transferred into hospital due to his wounds. They gave her the address and Ilsa and Robin drove to St Bartholomew’s Hospital. It took them longer than expected and Robin got more nervous by the minute.  

“Keep calm Robin. He’ll be fine”, Ilsa said while looking for a parking space. 

A few minutes later they headed in and she asked for him. A doctor said, that he was still in OR and they had to wait so they did. The blue plastic chairs were uncomfortable and soon Robin gave them up and walked up and down the corridor. While all this she remembered that she had to tell Shanker. Quickly she texted him. 

_In St._ _Barts_ _Hospit_ _al_ _. Strike got injured in jail. Some sort of fight? Don’t know exactly what happened. Keep you updated R._  

Half an hour later a Doctor was heading to them. 

“Miss Herbert?” 

Ilsa stood up and talked to the man. Robin kept her distance, knowing that she wouldn’t get anything out of him anyway. After the man had left, Ilsa stepped to her. 

“He’s out of the OR. He lost a lot of blood due to a wound at the artery but he’ll be up soon. They’ll get him into a room. We can go and see him for a few minutes. A police officer will be there though.” 

Robin nodded and they walked to his room. She was nervous. When they arrived the young police woman she already knew was there.  

“Wardle heard of the incident. I’m keeping an eye on him. That’s the least I can do”, Vanessa Ekwensi said to them. “Take your time.” 

Robin thanked her and both of them stepped inside. He lay in a bed near the window and looked horrible. Robin was shocked by all the cuts and bruises on his face. There were so many tubes and wires and the slow beeping of the monitor was the only sound in the small room. His chest was bandaged and so were parts of his hands and arms. What had they done to him? 

“Oh dear…”, said Ilsa into the silence. 

Robin stayed silent. All this reminded her of the time Laing had stabbed him. He was half dead and had looked like death himself then. Just like now. He was pale and the only colour on him, were the bruises and his hair.  

“Excuse me I have to sort some things”, said Ilsa and headed out. 

Robin knew that it must have something to do with all this. She stepped closer and sat on the chair by his bed, taking his hand. He was cold. After a while Ilsa returned. 

“How is he?” 

“Still sleeping.” 

“Shall I drive you home?” 

“No, thank you. I’ll stay a bit longer if that’s ok.” 

“Sure. I talked to Wardle, you can come as often as you like.” 

“Thanks for everything.” 

They both hugged each other and the mother to be left her alone. Robin just sat here, looking at him and waited. After a while she knew that this was useless and started to read in his notebook a bit. She had no clue how to go on. Since she had come to his flat everything went to shit. All this crap with Matthew and Laing, the divorce, the press and now this! She had just wanted to do her job and run the agency with him. Some tears slipped down her face and she started crying. 

“Why are you crying?” 

Robin looked up. Strike had opened his eyes and looked at her. Concerned and tired. She sniffed and wiped away her tears. 

“Stupid reasons”, she said and smiled a bit. 

Every bone in his body hurt but he was glad to see her. 

“Where am I?”, he asked. 

“St Bart’s hospital. How are you feeling?” 

“Sore”, he admitted.  

“Shall I get you a doctor?”, she said already half on her feet. 

He took her hand and urged her to sit down again. 

“Stay. I’m fine.” He didn’t let go of her hand and Robin didn’t protest. “So why did you cry?” 

“I’m tired and exhausted and I’m hungry”, she said and it wasn’t a full lie. 

She was all the above and those things had made her cry as a young girl already. Strike laughed but immediately stopped when the pain rippled through his body.  

“Let me get the doctor”, she said again. “You’re in pain.” 

He agreed and Robin vanished for a while. Soon she returned with a doctor. Quite young but Strike saw that he was capable.  

“How are you?”, he asked, stepped beside him and looked at his chart and the monitor. 

“I’m in a bit of pain”, he said.  

“A bit?” 

“Quite a bit, yes”, he said and the man saw what he meant. 

“Well you’ve a lot of cuts and bruises on your body so I’m not surprised. Let me increase the dose of morphine a bit. You’ll probably get sleepy but it’ll get better. If you need anything, just ring the bell and we’re there.” 

“Thanks”, Strike mumbled while the other pushed some buttons on the machine and then left again.  

Concerned Robin looked at him. 

“What happened?”, she asked. 

“Some disagreement with another inmate”, he lied.  

“A disagreement? Are you kidding me? He nearly killed you and some of these bruises are older. You got regularly beaten up”, she said agitated and her voice was breaking. 

He took her hand once more to calm her down. 

“Robin it’s fine. You worry too much.” 

“Well and you don’t worry at all”, she shouted at him and took her hand away.  

That hurt. She completely underestimated his feeling and how much he worried. Why? Because he barely showed what he felt and was most of the time calm? Robin had turned her back to him and looked out of the window, crying again. He was so calm all the time… No, not all the time, she reminded herself. Mostly he showed emotions when they were alone. She shoved the thought aside and braced herself to face him once more. Strike looked at her and waited. He understood why she had reacted like that and he wasn’t mad at her.  

“I’m sorry”, she said and sat beside him. “I’m just… All that is going on is a bit much.” 

“I know. I’m sorry that I burdened you with all this.” 

“I’m your partner”, she said. “It’s my job to help you.” 

He took her hand once more and smiled a bit. He was very grateful that she was by his side. 

“You came to visit”, he then remembered.  

“Yes. Ilsa had organised everything. I wanted to know how you are and inform you on all that’s going on. Shanker is out of hospital”, she then said. “He introduced me to his boys and told me of this plan of yours.” 

“I told him not to…”, Strike sighed. 

“I don’t mind. It’s a good plan by the way. Oh and thanks for the notebook.” 

“I hope you can read my scribbling”, he joked slightly. 

“I do”, she laughed and the bad mood between them seemed to have vanished.  

She saw that he was sleepy from the medicine but she didn’t want to go. Not yet. 

“The banker”, Strike then said sleepily. “I’ve a contact that works in the same building like the bank. You might wanna call him. He could help”, he said, eyes already closed. 

“Is his number in the notebook?” 

“Yes, somewhere in the back”, he mumble. “Smith. Alexander Smith.” 

She smiled. Carefully she let a finger slide from his temple over his cheek. Some sleep would do him good after everything that had happened. Robin untangled her hand and left him. She had a job to do. It was late when she left the hospital and took the tube, to watch Two Times girl for a while and the banker. It was late in the evening when she left for the office once more. She just left the tube when Shanker stepped to her. 

“How’s Bunsen doing?”, he asked her.  

“He’s been awake for a while but in lots of pain. He looks horrible and I’m worried.” 

“And how’s business? Can we help with anything?” 

She told him about Two Times girl and that she couldn’t get in the club as a woman so he promised to help. He got her home safely and promised to call. Again, at the office, she did some more paperwork and called Ilsa. 

“Robin, I have good news”, Ilsa said when she picked up the call. “I might get him out of jail.” 

“What? But that’s brilliant!” 

“Yes… After what happened to him, I can pledge to bail him out instead. He can’t stay in there due to his own safety. With that done, we’re one step closer.” 

“That’s great. Thank you so much Ilsa.” 

“Nothing’s done yet but I’m giving my best. We’ll get him out Robin.” 

They talked a bit about her pregnancy, the case and how Robin could help. It was late again when Robin got upstairs.  

The next days were quite similar. She got up early, did some paperwork, her observations and visited him in the evening.

 

It was Friday evening when she got into the hospital late. The police officer let her in with a smile. Strike was outside of bed for the first time. He sat in one of the chairs and looked out on the illuminated city when she entered.  

“Hello”, she said with a soft smile and sat beside him in the other chair. 

He stayed silent and just looked at her. She looked tired.  

“Did you eat today?”, he asked concerned after a few minutes of scrutinizing her. 

Robin blushed… So she hadn’t.  

“You need to look more after yourself. You can’t do this job for long if you don’t eat and sleep properly”, he said. 

“Don’t worry. All is fine. Business is still rolling and the boys found some more clues for your release and for Laing.” 

“Robin I decided to close the office”, Strike said simply.  

“What? Why?”, she said. “You can’t…” 

In this simple moment her world was falling apart. The job was her life now. She had told him so but nonetheless he wanted to close it? After all they’ve been through and did for this job? 

“It’s my decision Robin. Don’t question it”, he simply said but she knew that there was more to it. 

Had someone threatened him? Why was he doing this now? 

“I won’t let this happen!”, she said angry and stood up, grabbing her coat. 

“But it’s the only thing to do”, he said tired and exhausted. “I’m a criminal now. We won’t get a single case even if Ilsa gets me out of here. Laing is still out there and we don’t have a single lead on this fucker. We have nothing but debts at the moment…”  

“That’s the only reason?” 

“Isn’t that enough?”, he asked suspicious now. 

“I told you we can do it. We will clean your name and then we will get more clients again.” 

“How can you be so sure I didn’t do it?”, he said bluntly and a bit angry. 

“You can be temperamental but you would never kill someone”, she said positive, scrutinizing him. 

“You’re very sure with your answer”, he said. 

“I know you.” 

No you don’t, Strike thought but stayed silent. He had killed some men during the war. He had not enjoyed it but he had not hesitated either. 

“So you won’t let me have my decision?” 

“No. I won’t let you give up the office. I won’t let this happen. It’s too important for me.” 

“Alright”, he indulged. “But promise me, you won’t let this ruin you.” 

“I won’t. This is my life now.” 

He could see how passionate she was about this so he let her. He had wanted to sort things with this but she didn’t make it very easy for him. She truly loved this job. 

“Alright. We do this then.” 

She took his hand and smiled a little. It knocked and Ilsa and Shanker stepped in. The woman smiled and seemed quite happy. Strike immediately let go of her hand and greeted them. 

“What are you two doing here?”, he asked.  

“I got you your release papers”, Ilsa smiled happily and Robin let her sat down. “You can officially go home when you’re fully recovered.” 

“That’s good news”, Robin said but Strike stayed silent and looked at Shanker. 

“I got some things you might like”, Shanker said and shoved a manila envelope over the table to him. “It’s the CCTV tape from the club, one from inside, one from the back alley and one from the tube.” 

“With this we can make them drop all charges”, said Ilsa happily.  

“Any news about Laing?”, he asked Shanker.  

“Some. We saw the fucker last night in Denmark Street. He was watching Robin. My boys followed him. We tailed him to a small flat in Croydon. He doesn’t know it yet but we’re watching him.” 

“We have to call Wardle”, Robin said. 

“No… Not this time”, Strike said and looked at Shanker. “I gotta get out of here.” 

Strike wanted to get up but Robin shoved him carefully on the chair again. She knew that he was about to do something stupid. Ilsa and Shanker stayed for a while to discuss the further procedure with him. After Ilsa was gone, Shanker got the important stuff though. Robin stayed silent and just watched the two men. Strike was careful what to say in her presence. He was sure that she wouldn’t allow his further proceedings. But he had to do this on his own… It was late when Shanker left him too. Robin remained where she was and watched him He was obviously in pain and tired from this day. He sank back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment.  

“Please”, she said quietly. “What’s going on with Shanker? Finding him wasn’t your only intention, was it?” 

The man sighed and looked at her. She too looked tired and concerned. 

“I can’t tell you anything Robin. If you know…” 

What did he want to say? You’d be disgusted by me? You’d be in danger? The police could get you because of conspiracy? He wasn’t quite sure so he stayed silent. 

Robin stood up and grabbed her coat. 

“You should get to sleep. It’s late and I got to go.” 

“Alright.. Goodnight then.” 

“Goodnight.” 

Hurriedly and trying her hardest not to cry, she left the room and the hospital. A cold wind was blowing and she wrapped her scarf more around her neck. Stupid idiot, she thought. Why did he never accept any help? He was shoving her away and she hated when he did that. Robin walked through the upcoming snowstorm to the tube and – after a quick check on Mad Dad  and her banker – home to Denmark Street. She felt as if she was being watched again and before she could do anything, a strong hand shoved her in the nearby alley and against the brick wall. Robin struggled but the hands didn’t let go. 

“Robin… It’s me”, a familiar voice said and only now she saw the face of the figure in front of her. 

“Matthew? What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to see you”, he said and sounded as if he was drunk. “It’s been so long”, he said and stroke over her cheek, down to her neck and to her breasts. 

Unwillingly she reacted to his touch. It’s been so long since someone had touched her like this. She wanted to be touched like this right now. Matthew looked at her. 

“You’re so beautiful Robin”, he murmured. “I miss you. Don’t you miss me?” 

She did and at the same time she didn’t. He had treated her like crap the last years and had cheated. But she did miss the sex. Living with Strike didn’t make things easier and her feelings got in the way. She longed for his touch, even if it was just a simple brush with the fingers or while they walked side by side. Having Matthew here, willing and waiting for her made her weak. She was tempted to give in.  

“You did”, he said and touched her once more before he kissed her.  

Robin moaned into his mouth while he kissed her deeply and pressed himself against her. 

“Let’s go in”, he mumbled.  

Robin didn’t protest and they both headed inside number six. Once more he pressed her against the wall of the stairwell and kissed her. She didn’t want to do this but then she did. Both of them headed upstairs to the office. Robin didn’t dare to bring him into Strike’s flat. Matthew looked around curiously while Robin put on the small light at her desk and then kissed him again. All her self-restraint was gone and she shoved him on the old sofa and kissed him passionately. He was shoving down her coat and her pullover. She was fumbling on his jacket too, until the first clothes landed on the floor. The light from the streetlamps and the club outside, as well as the small lamp on the desk, were the only ones but it was enough to see what they were doing. Matthew soon was over her and fumbled on her jeans. After a few minutes he had stripped her down until she wore nothing more than her underwear. Matthew kneeled over her and touched her body. 

“Come back to me”, he murmured. “I miss you and I wanna try it again.” 

“No”, she managed to say. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s over…” 

“This doesn’t look over to me”, he said and touched her. 

Robin moaned. He just did this to want her back and she just gave him a reason to try it again because she wanted to… Robin shoved him away and stood up. She was breathing heavily and looked at him.   
“I’m sorry I… I can’t do this. Please… Leave me alone.” 

“You’re kicking me out?” He stood up and stepped to her. “After all this you’re leaving me like this and kicking me out? That’s not fair baby…” 

He tried to kiss and touch her once more but Robin stepped away. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him, shoving her against the desk.  

“C’mon baby… Don’t be coy now.” 

“Matthew, please let go of me. I don’t want this!” 

She shoved him away once more and pulled on her pullover again. 

“So you are fucking him already?”, he said angry and looked at his ex-wife. “This bastard got you after all. But you didn’t seem to be fully satisfied, otherwise you wouldn’t have thought about sleeping with me”, he said. 

“Get out!”, she now said angry. 

Matthew dressed and – to her surprise – left without another word. Robin dressed too and sat on the sofa. How could she be so stupid? She put her head on her knees, arms around them and cried.

 

Strike was exhausted but he had to go out of here. He got up from the chair and got dressed. Like every evening a nurse entered soon to check on him.  

“Mr Strike, where are you going?” 

“I’m going home”, he said and packed his few things.   
“You’re not officially discharged!”, she said. 

“To be honest, I don’t give a fuck”, he said calmly.  

The nurse hurried out to get a doctor and soon after an older doctor returned with her.  

“Mr Strike. You can’t leave”, he said. 

“I gotta go”, Strike said once more. 

“Well then you have to sign this. It’s the approbation that you left without doctor’s consent.” 

Without hesitation he signed and left. He took a cab to Denmark Street. Everything seemed quiet. Slowly he made his way up but stopped by the office when he saw light in it. He stepped in and found Robin, crying on the battered leather sofa. 

“Robin”, he said and she startled up. 

“Cormoran, what are you doing here? You should be still in hospital.” 

He stayed silent and sat on her chair by the desk. What was she doing here? Why was she crying? Robin sniffed and dried her tears with the hem of her shirt. She felt uncomfortable in his presence and stupid for what she had done with Matthew.  

“Robin, what is wrong?”, he said after a while.  

“Nothing”, she mumbled. “I’m just tired”, she lied.  

“Well I think we can do something about that.” He carefully got up and stretched out his hand. “C’mon... Let’s get you into bed and get some rest. It’s been a long day.” 

Robin wiped away her tears once more and took his hand. Usually his hands were warm, but now they were icy. He was tired too and he couldn’t care how this sounded. He just wanted to get a decent nights rest with Robin by his side. They headed upstairs to his flat. He knew that being this intimate with her was not right. He was too weak to end this, too weak to shove her away. He let go of her hand and headed to the small kitchen area where he grabbed a glass of water and some pain killers. Robin watched him. He could feel that there was something going on.  

“Robin please, talk to me. Something’s wrong”, he said while sitting at the small table. 

“Matthew was here”, she then admitted. “He waited for me, wanted to try it again. I… I took him upstairs to the office. I wanted it but… I kicked him out.” He stayed silent and just looked at her. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have taken him upstairs.” 

“Don’t apologise”, he just said.  

He was unhappy how things have turned out. She would have slept with him again. Let him into her life again. Hadn’t she learned anything? Jealousy was burning inside of Strike. He wanted her to be his. But there were still enough pieces to be picked up before their whole situation would improve. Robin wasn’t sure what to do now. She was ashamed and somehow flustered while being at his side. She excused herself and headed to the bathroom to get changed. Strike headed from the kitchen to the bedroom where he sank on the bed tiredly. He got rid of his leg and sank, just dressed in his pants and a t-shirt, back. A few minutes later, Robin entered and waited at the door. The small lamp on the bedside table was the only light in the room. She wore nothing more than one of these very short negligees, her hair braided. Gosh she looked stunning. 

“How are you feeling?”, she asked while sitting down beside him on the other half of the bed. 

“I’m good”, he said. 

She lay down and the fabric slide a bit higher. Fuck! Strike could feel the effect she had on him.  

“How do we go on?”, she asked into the silence. 

“With what?”, he asked instead. 

He wasn’t quite sure what she meant. The business? Their partnership? 

“Everything”, she murmured and he could feel her move closer. 

“We try to keep the business going I suppose”, he said calmly. “And the rumors at bay.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some shopping, a kiss and Laing is making a move....

_1_ _week later_

Strike was feeling way better than he had the last weeks. His wounds were nearly fully healed, business was still going, he was officially free from all charges and Shanker and the boys were still watching Laing. It was nearly Christmas and a heavy snow storm was coming when Robin entered the office. She was working in the banker’s office since a week to look for more evidence against him. She got rid of the black wig she wore and hung up her coat. Strike emerged from his office and poured the cold tea in the sink. He carefully looked at her. She wore a black and short skirt, a white blouse, high black boots and a red cardigan. Her hair was up and she wore more make-up than usual. In the office she was Miss Ella Roberts. A young secretary that was trying to get all the attention she could. It was a good cover and she was – like when she had played the lawyer Venetia Hall – perfect in her role. No one suspected anything. 

“How was the day?”, he asked and leaned against the sink, still watching her.

“It was good. I got some more pictures of some papers that might be helpful.”

Robin bend down to grab her bag and through the very high slash in her skirt he could see the lace of her stockings. He still felt like a teenager when he was with her. Even though he has had a good shag last night, he now felt horny again and wanted her. 

“How are things with Laing and Two Times?”

“Oh good. Shanker’s boys are still watching him. Two Times is quite satisfied with the outcome and the fact that this girlfriend is not cheating. He paid us a generous sum. I cleared some bills with it.”

“And Mad Dad?”

“His ex-wife got more pics of him and is also satisfied with how it’s going. She wants us to keep looking at him until the trial starts.”

“So we’re down to him and the banker. Not much.”

“No… But it is something.”

“We need to do some grocery shopping”, she said. “The fridge’s nearly empty.”

“Oh shit… Sorry I forgot”, he said. “It was my turn, wasn’t it?”

“Don’t worry. It’s fine. I’ll just go and get some stuff.”

“I’m coming with you.” 

Both got in their coats and left the office. Like before some press guys were still lurking on their doorstep. There had been some new rumours that business was going down and they would close soon. Plus Robin and Strike had been in a nasty article about their relationship in some of the tabloids. They needed to fix this so both of them had decided to show themselves more as a couple and to give them a different story to make them forget about the business. No one wanted to hire a Private Investigator that was nearly bankrupt. And they needed every case they could get. Like usual some of them followed them so Strike pulled her closer and put his arm around her waist while they strolled down the street. Robin still did enjoy this closeness between them and the façade they had put up for the press. 

“You should definitely wear different shoes with this weather”, he said and looked at the 10-cm-heals.

Robin grinned. She secretly knew that he enjoyed it when she wore high shoes. 

“Don’t worry it’s not too slippery today.”

He was not convinced but stayed silent. They headed to the nearby Tesco’s where Robin purchased the food and stuff they needed while he watched her and was deep in his thoughts. He wasn’t even aware of the press guy that had followed them. Robin indeed was. She also was well aware of his looks he gave her. She stepped to him and put the vegetable in the shopping cart he was rolling around. She grinned.

“Where are you with your thoughts?”, she said. 

“Oh nowhere, I was just thinking about a mail I received today”, he lied. 

“Is that so?”, she said and strolled through the shelves while he followed her.

Robin put some tea and milk in the cart and then stepped closer to him. He looked down at her, confused what she was doing. Robin put her hands on his chest and looked up to him. 

“What do you want for dinner?”, she asked in a lascivious tone and let her hand slide over his chest to the upper buttons of his shirt. 

“Robin, what are you doing?”, he asked silently and with a rough voice.

She stood on tiptoes and kissed him slightly on the cheek while she mumbled one word: press. Immediately he knew what she was playing at and put his hands on her hips. 

“I know exactly what I want for dinner”, he said a bit louder, so the man that was lurking behind a pillar nearby could hear them.

Robin could feel his erection and was stunned. He usually was so calm when they did this. This was somehow different. She pressed herself more against him and he supressed a moan. His dark eyes just looked in hers and one of his hands was wandering to her butt and then to the slash in her skirt. His fingers touched her bear skin, just above the stocking. He usually never did something like that. But then they tried to be very convincing for their voyeur.

“I mean food”, she mumbled with a rough tone in her voice.

“What about something very quick then..”

“Alright”, she agreed before she quickly kissed him on the mouth and turned away to collect some more food.

Fucking hell, Strike thought. He was aroused and surprised by her kiss. It was a cover, he knew that, but then it had still been good to feel her lips on his. He smiled like an idiot and followed her. Half an hour later they were already on the way back to Denmark Street. The man was still following them. While Strike held her in one arm and the shopping bags in the other, she stayed silent and thought about what had just happened. He could feel that she was somehow uncomfortable. Strike assumed it was because of his touch and how he had reacted. Strike headed home with her and just hung up their coats while Robin put the grocery’s away. He excused himself and left to go to the office again. He needed a bit of time. He looked down and saw the journalists leave one after the other. He got to his office and pulled out the pack of cigarettes. Things with her got more complicated every day. Not that she was making them complicated, no. But his feelings got more and more in the way of things. After he had finished his cigarette and after a short call with Shanker how things are with Laing, he headed back upstairs. He opened the door. Robin had put everything away, got rid of her shoes and had opened a bottle of wine. She heard him close the door, took a big sip and turned to him.

“Robin, back in the shop…”, he started but she didn’t let him finish.

She didn’t think but just gave into her feelings. Robin stepped to him, pulled him down to her and pressed her lips against his. He shoved her away. No this was wrong. 

“Robin… No….”, he mumbled desperately but she clung on to him and kissed him once more passionately. “Robin we’re not supposed to do this”, he mumbled as soon as her lips left his once more.

“I don’t care…”, she said simply. “I wanted this for so long. I’m certain you do to. I… I’m exhausted to pretend as if there’s nothing going on. Please don’t you do it.”

He held her and thought about it. He was tired of pretending too. He knew that she knew and that this was going to happen sooner or later. With her making the first step, all was well. He could do this and put an end to this agony. He could freely touch, kiss and love her. This entire charade would be over, here and now if he just said yes. Instead he shoved her away once more and shook his head.

“I can’t Robin. It’s not like this. You’re a beautiful woman and we have to play along with the press but I don’t want this otherwise”, he said. “I’m sorry if I made the impression that this would work.”

He could see that he hurt her with this. But he was a convincing liar, always had been, so he also could see that she believed him. She stepped back, hurt, sad and unsatisfied with how the evening had turned out. How their relationship had turned out. He wanted to say something. Hold her. Kiss her and assure her that he loved her, but Strike couldn’t. Robin turned away and left into the bedroom. What had she done? She took a small bag, packed some clothes, got into some jeans, different shoes and stepped back into the other room. He looked up when she stepped out again and headed to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Ilsa’s.”

He let her go. It was probably for the best…

Half an hour and a drink and some cigarettes later, Shanker called him. 

“Bunsen, the fucker is making a move.”

“Alright. Where are you right now?”

“I’m watching Robin. He’s following her.”

“Fuck!”, he said and got up as fast as he could. “Where’s she?”

“She’s in St James’ Park.”

“Keep an eye on here, I’ll be there asap.”

He ended the call, grabbed his coat and left the flat. 15 minutes later he arrived at one entrance to the park, payed the cab and headed to Shanker that was already waiting for him.

“Why’s she here anyway?”, asked Shanker. “It’s late and she shouldn’t be out here. What happened?”

“We had a row”, he simply said. “Where is she now?”

“I lost her”, Shanker admitted. “I think she escaped on purpose because she might have realised that I’ve had been following her.”

“Bugger!”, Strike grumbled and they both headed along the road to find her. “We have to find her and Laing.”

They both started searching for her and the other man but couldn’t find anything. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, time for the finale between Laing and Strike...
> 
> This chapter will involve more Blue Oyster Cult and especially their song "Mistress Of The Salmon Salt (Quicklime Girl)", "Od'd on Life itself" and "Don't Fear The Reaper". They are quite brilliant song and I like BOC so if you don't know it, feel free to check the songs out.  
> https://youtu.be/ePskTD61oH0 & https://youtu.be/jAT5ewOfwEI & https://youtu.be/ClQcUyhoxTg
> 
> Oh and sorry for the angst and another small cliffhanger... ;)

Robin cried. She needed to think so she decided to walk to Octavian Street. It wasn’t that far and the fresh air would do her good. She headed through St James’ Park when she realised that Shanker was following her. God.. She was sure that Strike had asked him to do this. When the other one was on the phone, she slipped through some bushes and vanished into the dark park. She was still crying and thinking about how to go on when she heard footsteps and before she could turn around, a strong arm grabbed her. One hand over her mouth, she was unable to scream while the other took her phone from her coat pocket and threw it away. She let go of her bag and struggled some more but it was no good. The figure shoved her to a small van, parked beside some bushes. She tried to kick but it didn’t work. He held her too tight. The hands manoeuvred her into the van, closed the doors and a few seconds later they drove off. She had no clue where they were going. After a while the car stopped and the doors opened once more. For the first time – even though she had a suspicion before – she saw the man. Laing. He dragged her out of the van and inside an old fabric building. She struggled to make things for him harder but he just shoved her upstairs to an old office and tied her to some rusty steam pipes. He didn’t speak a word and left after a few minutes. Laing was tired of this fucker and the secretary. He wanted to end things now and here. And this bitch was getting on his nerve. Running around, trying to save the business and having only eyes for Strike. Fucking bitch! She was like all the others. He truly had regretted that he hadn’t got her. But now was his time. He would send this fucker a piece of his beloved secretary every day. Or every hour? He wasn’t sure yet but those were details. Details he could think about while he started. He headed downstairs to the van where he grabbed the bag with all his knives and stuff in it and headed back upstairs. 

Shanker had never seen his friend like this. Strike was furious that they had no clue where Robin or Laing was. He called Wardle and asked the DI for help after explaining what had happened. The young inspector promised him to look through the CCTV and call back as soon as they had found some clue. They had headed back to Denmark Street where he now was walking up and down the office, waiting and thinking. Shanker was angry too, more at himself though that he could have left her. His boys were searching the whole city. Strike’s hair was a complete mess by letting his hands glide through it. After a while his phone rang and he immediately picked it up without looking who it was.

“Strike”, he said a bit breathless and waited impatiently. 

First thing he heard was music.  _A harvest of life, or harvest of death_ _…_ _One body of life, one body of death_ _…_ Shit! Strike knew it just too well. Blue Oyster Cult. Laing.

“You know this, don’t you?”, said the familiar voice of this maniac. “It’s still one of my favourite songs.” 

_And when you've gone and choked to death_ _…_ _With laughter and a little step_ _…_  

“You know I often imagined this day”, Laing continued. “How I would do it. What I would say. But now I’m not sure. I’m sure about what to do with your little secretary though.” 

His grip around the mobile got tighter and he clenched his other fist.  _I'll prepare the quicklime, friend_ _…_ _For your ripe and ready grave_ _…_

“She’s beautiful”, said Laing. “Very beautiful, but not better than the other ones I have killed. Addicted for attention, annoying and needy. They always want but never give. But now It’s my turn.”

Strike was still silent and had just indicated to Shanker that it was Laing who called. He was afraid what this lunatic could do to his Robin and he regretted that he had shoved her away. Otherwise this wouldn’t have happen. He could hear Laing move. He carefully listened if there were any signs where he was hiding. He could hear a quiet sobbing in the background and then a groan.

“Shut the fuck up bitch!”, Laing shouted and then turned his attention back to Strike. “You see. It’s never been the sex. It is satisfying in some ways but what follows is even better.”

“Don’t you fucking dare touch her!”, Strike said menacing. 

“No… not now… But when I do it’ll be brilliant. I’ll usually start when they are still conscious. Small pieces. Slow, tender cuts. I’ll send you something… If you’ve a wish what it should be, just ask. I feel quite generous at the moment”, he said and laughed a dangerous and manic laugh. 

“You sick fucker! I swear to god if you harm her in any way. I’m gonna show you what I can do and believe me I’m gonna make you suffer for what you did.”

“I’m tempted to believe you. But we both know that you got weak. You don’t have it in you.”

“We’ll see about that”, he simply said and hung up.

“What is it Bunsen?”, Shanker asked.

“Laing got her. We have to find him as soon as possible.”

“I’m on it”, Shanker said and made some calls.

Strike was tired of just sitting here. He had to do something. Once more he called Wardle.

“Do you’ve any news?”, he asked as soon as the Detective had taken the call. 

“We’re looking for a van at the moment. It looks suspicious but we’re not sure.”

“Wardle, please… Give me details!”, Strike said impatient and with anger in his voice.

“The van has been stolen”, the DI said. “We’re searching where it did go. It looks as if it’s an old fabric.”

“The address…”

“Strike… Mate… I can’t let you go there. You’ve just been cleared of a murder charge!”

“Eric, please. He has Robin…”

“Fuck… Alright.” Wardle told him the address. “We won’t go there at the moment since there’s no reason. It’s just a stolen vehicle, nothing official with this case.”

“Thanks”, Strike said and hung up. “I’ve something.”

He grabbed his coat and hurried outside. Shanker followed him. He ignored the press, waved for a cab and they both drove to the address Wardle had given him. Shanker was calling his boys while they drove through the city to the old fabric outside London. He could feel how nervous Bunsen was in the seat beside him. He did understand why. Last time he had been like this, was when he had driven Strike to Robin’s wedding. Shanker stayed silent and concentrated at the job at hand. 

Laing had returned with a big and heavy looking duffel bag. He looked quite pleased and smiled a bit when he plugged his phone to a small box and started the music. Robin knew it due to the research she had done the first time he had slaughtered women. Blue Oyster Cult.  Humming he unpacked the things in his bag. Robin couldn’t see what it was since he had turned his back to her, but she had an idea. After a while he pulled out a second phone and called someone. She listened carefully and after a few minutes she realised that it must be Strike. He had gagged her so she couldn’t speak or scream in the background while he phoned but nonetheless she now tried to give Cormoran any sign in the background and started struggling. It was no good and soon Robin started sobbing. Laing saw what she intended to do, step to her and kicked her roughly. 

“Shut the fuck up bitch!”, Laing shouted and then turned his attention back to Strike. “You see. It’s never been the sex. It is satisfying in some ways but what follows is even better.”

Robin wasn’t shocked by what he had in mind. She had been sure that this was his usual MO and had expected something like that. She wouldn’t make it easy on him though, that was for sure.

“No… not now…”, he answered Strike. “But when I do it’ll be brilliant. I’ll usually start when they are still conscious. Small pieces. Slow, tender cuts. I’ll send you something… If you’ve a wish what it should be, just ask. I feel quite generous at the moment”, he said and laughed a dangerous and manic laugh. 

It made her flesh creep and only now she realised that he was completely crazy and that made him even more dangerous. 

“I’m tempted to believe you. But we both know that you got weak. You don’t have it in you”, Laing answered and then hung up.

Once more he laughed and he seemed to be amused by something. Smiling he put the phone away and looked at her. Robin sat beside the old pipes and shivered. His look made her feel uneasy and unsafe. She really did hope that Strike would find her soon but she knew that it was impossible. 

“No chance he’ll get here any time soon”, he said as if he had read her mind. “He always was very slow.” 

“What are you going to do?”, she asked and she herself could hear how fearful she sounded.

“I’m going to take my time with you. As I said you’re gorgeous and I want to hurt him as he did hurt me…” 

He let his hand glide over her cheek to her lips before he turned away again and left for a while. She hadn’t been afraid like this since that night at Uni when she had thought she would die. Robin tried not to think about what would happen but remembered her training and what she could do to get out. She tried the ropes but Laing knew how to tie a knot. She couldn’t move an inch. She tried and tried and tried but soon her wrists were wound and started bleeding at some points. 

“That’s not a nice thing to do”, she heard Laing. “Trying to escape, after all the trouble I had to get you.”

The man looked proper angry and his grip around her upper arm was tight when he pulled Robin to her feet. He looked at her and without hesitation slapped her. It hurt. Every hit of him hurt and soon Robin got a heavy nosebleed. He turned away again to grab something while she wiped away the blood with the sleeve of her pullover. He was back with a sharp knife and happily showed it to her.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? I always had a thing for knives. It’s way more personal than a gun.”

Robin stayed silent while he stepped closer and then started to carefully cut the clothes from her body until she stood – only in her underwear – in front of him.

“I see why he likes you. You’re stunning. But so were the others”, he said with a sardonic grin. “Especially after I cut them into small pieces. Precise clean cuts…”

Robin cried out. He had let the knife glide over her body and had then cut her without warning. A deep cut at her left calf. He smiled while his left hand was on her breast and the knife was wandering around again while Blue Oyster cult kept singing in the background.

_How could I fool you, I rest and assure you_

_Take it off from here and put you on the line,_ _yeah_

_Your back to the pistol and iron bullets whistle_

_The landscape's open and the world is mine, it's still mine._

_O-_ _D'd_ _on life, life itself_

_(O-_ _D'd_ _on life itself, O-_ _D'd_ _on life itself, the power of powers_    
 _And once luminous spell)_

Strike was nervous. He had an idea what Laing would do to her. He was afraid that they would be too late. That he would only find her slaughtered by this maniac who would be on the run again. It’s been nearly two hours now since Robin had vanished. By now Laing could have done everything to her. As soon as the cab stopped in front of an old fabric complex, Strike handed the cabby 50 bucks and jumped out. Shanker stood beside him, while he looked at the building for clues, loading a gun. 

“What do we do with him?”

“I’ll deal with him”, Strike said calmly. “You get her out of there.”

“Alright. But be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me. Let’s go.”

As silently and inconspicuous as possible, they headed to a small side door at the west end of the building. Shanker handed him the gun. Strike silently thanked him and opened the door as quietly as possible. It was dark inside since most of the neon lights were broken. He could hear music.

_ Co me on baby, don't fear the reaper _

_ Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper _

_ We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper _

_ Baby I'm your man _

Once more Blue Oyester Cult and he could hear screams. Robin. Shanker held him back.

“Don’t lose your head Bunsen. We need to think this through before we just intervene.”

He knew that Shanker was right and tried to stay calm, as he had learned all those years ago. They headed forward to a small iron stairwell. It lead to a small hallway that ended into several offices, one was like a big glass cube that overlooked the whole factory. They could see light from upstairs and he could also see a shadow moving around. The size initiated that it was Laing. Strike moved further upstairs, Shanker behind him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, sorry it took me so long to post the showdown between Laing and Strike.   
> I hope you like this tho.

The floor was cold and she cried. Laing had made her believe that Strike wouldn’t show up for her. That the Investigator would never find her and by now she believed him. Too much time had passed since he had dragged her into the van and brought her here. Laing had wanted to fuck her but Robin hadn’t made it easy for him. She had kicked and bit him and after a while he had let it be and had started with cutting her some more. The cuts were deep and hurt with every move.  Naked she now lay in front of him, waiting for his next move. Laing stepped closer, a syringe in hand with some fluid in it. He injected it to her and got back to the bag with the knives. 

“I bet you fucked him”, he said, still angry that she had struggled this much. “All those late hours in the office, just you two alone. I wonder if he ever was honest with you. He’s a good liar you know. Nearly as convincing as myself but he’s on the side of the angels. I on the other hand, never really cared about rules and what’s right. I did what was right for me.” He stepped closer again and the knife cut her once more, this time at the hip. She screamed out again and tried to get away but he had tied her hands and feet together once more and the injection was already doing her job. She felt sleepy and weak.

“Scream as loud as you want. He won’t come.”

“How can you be so convinced about this?”, she heard Strike’s voice behind them. “Step away from her”, he grumbled.

Laing didn’t move an inch and smiled. So he was here after all. He wasn’t happy about it but he would find a way to play some more with the detective. 

“I fucking said step away and put this goddamn knife on the floor!”

Robin heard that his voice was calm but had a threatening undertone. This time Laing obeyed and stepped a bit back., knife still in his hand. Strike moved closer to Robin. There was so much blood. He couldn’t really see what was the cause of all this. He looked to her and saw that she had cried. Now she was looking at him, tired and exhausted. She was safe, was the only clear thought Robin could keep. Cormoran was here...    
Shanker followed Bunsen, who was holding the gun at the other man and as soon as they were at Robin’s side, he kneeled down and took her pulse. Instead Shanker was holding a gun at Laing and kept an eye on him while Strike checked on his partner. Robin’s pulse was steady but weak. She had closed her eyes now.

“Robin, look at me”, Cormoran said and had one hand on her cheek. “C’mon open your eyes and look at me.” She obeyed. “That’s good. Keep your eyes open Robin.”

Strike got out of his coat and handed it to Shanker who put it over her while Strike got up and fully concentrated on Laing who was just smiling, still holding the bloody knife. 

“Get her home Shanker”, he said, still very calm and observant.

“C’mon Robin”, his friend mumbled and helped her up before he carefully lead her outside. 

“But Cormoran...”, she mumbled tired and afraid. “We can’t leave him alone”, the young woman said while Shanker lead her to the car. “Laing’s dangerous.”

“Don’t worry. He can manage”, Shanker tried to calm her and carefully shoved her into the car.

Robin couldn’t concentrate on what was going on. She was tired from the injection.

“Finally alone”, Laing said with something that sounded like pleasant anticipation.

Strike looked at him and tried to ignore the picture of Robin in his mind. He had to concentrate on the task at hand. Laing stepped forward and tried to stab him but Strike stepped aside and held his arm. His grip was tight and he smashed the weapon in Laing’s face. He would not lose this time. The other man let the knife go and stumbled back from his punch. Strike did not intent to let him go this time. He stepped forward and punched him once more while shoving him against an iron pillar.

“This is the last time you harmed us in any way”, he said angry. 

“As if you’d dare to end it here and now. You’re not the type that kills people.”

“I don’t have to. I could just call the police”, Strike said.

“You know I will get out eventually. Then it will all start again.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I can”, he simply said and laughed.

Strike punched him again. This fucker had destroyed all he had worked for. He had touched and hurt Robin and now he was laughing at him. Without Strike knowing, Laing produced another knife from his trousers and cut him at his tight while shoving him away and punching him hard. Strike stumbled back and lost the gun. Laing kicked it away. Guns had never been his. He preferred the knife. Like a lion circling his prey, Laing stepped closer and watched him. Strike knew what was at stake. If this fucker got away again, he’d never be free from this maniac, neither Robin. The thought of her and what Laing had done to her made him angry. His anger had always been the fuel when he needed it. Laing tried to stab him once more but Strike once more evaded the attack. It took some time and both of them fought for their life. Strike had some cuts and bruises when he finally managed to get hold of Laing’s arm with the knife again. After a few minutes of struggling and some more punches Laing suddenly let it go, Strike took it and drove it into the soft flesh of Laing’s stomach. The other man looked confused and surprised at the Private Investigator. Strike was calm and didn’t let go until the other sank on the floor. He was breathing heavily and watched the other man while he struggled with his wound. Strike heard running and shouting, sirens near the old fabric but he couldn’t care less. A few minutes later Wardle was at his side. He looked at the scene astonished and from Strike to the criminal. He too stayed silent while Laing was slowly dying. No one made a move to call for an ambulance and safe his life. After another minute Sargeant Ekwensi called 911. Strike knew that it was nearly impossible for Laing to survive, but he couldn’t care right now. Exhausted he leaned against an old pillar and pressed his hand on the wound at his stomach. 

“What happened?”, asked Wardle.

“We fought. I defended myself”, Strike simply said. “He had Robin. Shanker got her home.”

“Alright”, Wardle just said and knew what had really happened but he didn’t say anything. “I’m gonna need your statement.”

“Okay.”

Both of them left the room when the paramedics just ran upstairs. They let them through and headed downstairs to his car. In a few minutes Strike had told Eric what had happened. The DI understood him and changed a bit of his statement so it wouldn’t made him a murder suspect.

“Shall I get you home?”

“Please”, said Strike and half an hour later they arrived in Denmark Street.

“You should go to a hospital mate”, Wardle said while Strike was still pressing a piece of his shirt against the wound. 

“I’m fine, thanks Eric”, he said and got out the car.

The press and photographer were gone and Strike was truly thankful for that and headed upstairs.

Shanker had got Robin home safely and his boys had organised that the press had vanished in front of number six. It was late so not many people were on the road and it was easy for them to enter the building unseen. He got her upstairs to Bunsen’s flat and called a Doctor that was a good friend of his. The man looked at Robin and bandaged and sewed her cuts before he left again. Shanker handed him a more than generous sum to stay silent to the press. Robin felt tired and exhausted but tried to stay awake. She changed in some panties and one of Strike’s pullover before she got back to Shanker who was waiting in the living room. 

“How are you?”

“Better. I’m worried though. Have you heard anything of Cormoran. He won’t kill Laing, won’t he?”

“I don’t know. But don’t worry, he knows what he’s doing Robin. Now get some rest. He’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks for everything Shanker”, she said and hugged him.

He left and Robin headed to the sofa where she fell asleep immediately. She woke from the sound of water in the bathroom. Robin stood up, headed to the bathroom and knocked before she entered. Strike was back. He stood in front of the wash basin, hands on the cold stone, shirt and arms full of blood. He looked haunted and exhausted. What had happened? He looked up and caught her look in the mirror. 

“It’s done. You’re safe”, he just said and looked away again. 

He didn’t want her to see him like this. Just after he had murdered or nearly murdered a person. He had no clue if Laing had made it or not. Wardle had promised to text him if he knew more. Robin stepped inside and rested her hand on his upper arm. She said nothing and she knew she didn’t need to. Her hand was shaking and he looked at her.

“You should rest. You’re wounded.”

“I’m fine. I… “

“Don’t… I know”, Cormoran admitted. 

She left him once more and headed to the kitchen to take a pain killer. Her wounds burned and she was thirsty. Strike undressed and decided to shower to get rid of all the blood. Afterwards he sat on the toilette and put some bandages over the more serious wounds before he looked for her. Robin was in his bed, sleeping. He was happy to have her here. Safe. He got into the kitchen and grabbed a big glass of whiskey before he sank on the sofa. His phone beeped. Probably Wardle. 

_He didn’t make it, died in hospital. W._

Thank goodness! He knew that this had consequences and he could be charged again but he didn’t care. Laing was dead and Robin was safe. The only two things that really mattered. Strike texted Shanker.

_He’s dead. Need all the evidence against him. Thanks for tonight. S._

A few seconds later Shanker had answered him.

_You’re welcome. Will the get the stuff to you_ _asap._

Strike emptied his drink and poured himself a second one before taking some pain killers. The cut at his hip hurt the most and he knew that a doctor should have a look at it. Also he needed to get Robin to a hospital. She had looked terrible and he had no clue what Laing had done to her. He heard a soft scream and immediately headed to the bedroom. Robin was turning and cried in her sleep. Nightmare, he deduced and woke her carefully.

“Robin. Wake up! It’s a dream. C’mon open your eyes and wake up baby.”

She bolted upright and looked at him. He sat a bit away from her on the bed. She still cried. 

“Sch… It was a nightmare, nothing more”, he said. 

She took his hand silently and lay down again. They both stayed silent and he just watched her in the moonlight that was shining through the small window above the bed. 

“Thank you”, she then said. 

“For what?”

“For finding me and… What happened to him? Is he dead?”

“Yes.”

He could feel her stiffen. Fuck. Robin squeezed his hand reassuringly that she was there for him. 

“Thank you”, she then mumbled once more. 

He didn’t expect this. He had thought she’d be afraid and would distance herself from him but apparently he was wrong. There was still something unspoken between them .The fight they had was in the way and Strike knew it.    
“Sleep now. You need some rest.”

“Can you… Can you stay with me? Please?”

He nodded and Robin rolled on the other side of the bed, while he got rid of his leg and lay down. She faced him and got closer until her legs touched his. He put the blanked over her and himself and stroked her cheek. He was just glad she was here with him.

“I’m so sorry for what he did to you. I can never forgive myself.”

“You’re not responsible for what happened.”

“I am”, he disagreed. “I shoved you away in this fight. I made you leave.”

“That was my choice.” Both of them stayed silent for a while until she finally asked him what she wanted to know since before. “Did you mean what you said before?”

“What?”

“That you don’t want anything like this. That you don’t want to try it with me.”

Should he lie? Should he say what he truly felt for her? Was it any use to lie at all? He could. He knew he could because she sounded so unsure about all this. Instead he took her hand and looked her deep in the eye. She could see that there was something. That he felt something. He carefully stroke her cheek once more and then bend forward and kissed her.

“It can’t be”, he said after a short and soft kiss. 

“Why?”, she said breathless. 

“I simply can’t. I’m sorry.”

He knew he broke her heart. That it wouldn’t be easy from now on but he simply had to do this. He knew it would never work between them. Robin let go of his hand, turned away and silently cried until she fell asleep. 

It was late in the morning when Wardle called him. His ringing phone woke Strike and he looked around before he took the call sleepily. Robin had vanished.

“Strike.”

“It’s me. I just wanted to say, that we need your official statement this time.”

“When?”

“Around 11am? I can come over.”

“Alright, I’ll be at the office”, he said and hung up again. “Robin?”

He didn’t received an answer so he got up, dressed and headed downstairs since she wasn’t in his flat. He found her in the office, working.

“Robin what are you doing?”, he simply said. “You should rest and get to a doctor.”

“I need a distraction”, she just said. “And a Doctor already looked at me last night. Shanker had organised it.”

He nodded and got to work himself until he had to leave for Scotland Yard. Wardle had promised to collect him himself. An hour later Eric knocked and stepped in. Strike headed to the outer office when he had heard him and saw the DI and Robin talk.

“How are you Robin?”   
“I’m fine”, Robin just said defensive.

“I need your statement as well as Strike’s.”

“Why hers?”, Strike asked and stepped closer.

“You are officially a suspect and she’s a victim. I need your statements to make this official. We can do it here if you want. There’s not much to ad to yours I think?”

“No… I defended myself. And Robin got kidnapped by him. Shanker got her home. But I told you that last night.”

“Robin?”

“He’s right. Laing got me there and…”

Her voice broke and he could see the tears in her eyes. This fucker had touched her, he thought when she continued with her story.

“He wanted to rape me but I struggled so he let it go. Instead he started cutting and hitting me. Strike found me soon and Shanker got me home.”

“Have you been at a doctor’s?”

“A doctor, a friend of Shanker, visited last night and looked after my wounds.”

She gave him the name of the Doctor and Wardle seemed to be satisfied. Strike then handed him a file after he gave his statement once more.

“That’s all the evidence against Laing you need to close some cases.”

“How did you get those?”

“Research”, Strike lied. 

“Alright, thanks. I’ll get to you if there is any news but I’m sure we can close this case very soon.”

He bid his farewell and left them again. Robin carefully looked at him for a moment and then concentrated on her work again. Strike didn’t know what to say or if there was anything to say so he just left her alone and got to the inner office again where he opened the window and started smoking. He had fucked this completely up, he thought while he lit up the first cigarette.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... a year later all seems well.   
> Some things change and some things don't tho.   
> Hope you like how things are going ;)

_1 year later_

The case and Robin’s kidnapping were nearly forgotten. Like Wardle had said, everything against Strike was dropped soon and they continued to rebuild the office again. His partner was in therapy for a while but got better and learned to live with her fears and nightmares. She had moved out a few weeks after the incident and the first months were strange between him and Robin, but soon they were working like usual. One year had passed since then and Strike was still in business. All was well for them. 

It was late on a Friday evening, a few days before Christmas, when he returned from a case. Robin was still in the office, working over some files and invoices. 

“How are things?”, he asked. 

“All is calm. The last client just left very satisfied with our work and some bonus for Christmas.”

She handed him an envelope with a Christmas card and 200 bucks. He put the card to the others on the sideboard behind Robin and the money in the small safe in his office.

“Press is outside again”, he said when he started to make them a cup of tea.

“Did they say why?”

“Oh the usual…Questions about the jewel thief.”

Not a week ago Strike and Robin had assisted the police to investigate in a theft and had caught – together with Wardle – a jewel thief that had been on the Interpol list for some years now. He finished with the tea and put a cup beside her. She finished her invoice and then looked to him, while he sat on the sofa, opening today’s mail. He had lost some weight and wore his hair a bit longer than usual. He was dressed in black jeans and one of his blue shirts. Robin tried not to stare but didn’t quite succeed.

“Penny for your thoughts”, he said with a smile. 

“Oh I was just thinking about Christmas.”

“Christmas?”

“Yes… The thing people celebrate at the 24th of December?”, she said teasingly.

“Yes about that… I was thinking we could have dinner? Like a small Christmas party, just the both of us.”

“Oh… But we’re invited to the police Christmas party. Wardle send us an invitation.”

“Are we?”

“Yes.” She handed him an envelope with the invitation from Scotland Yard. “I’m not quite sure if you want to go.”

“Do you want to go?”

“I think we should show up. It would be offending if we don’t show to say hello, especially after the last case.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. When is it?”

“Tomorrow night. 7.30pm.”

“I’ve an observation.”

“You can just skip it this time?”

“You really want to go, do you?”

She just smiled. He had a suspicion for a while now that she and Wardle where dating. He was happy for her that she could go on but he still was jealous. Even after he had said her, that he couldn’t do this with her a year ago, he was still feeling something for his partner. 

“Alright, I’ll collect you on the way then?”, he asked.

“Oh… I… I’m driving with Wardle.”

There it was the elephant in the room. So she was dating the DI.

“We see each other there then?”

She nodded. He read the rest of the mail, got up and grabbed his coat again. He had to go out.

“Where are you going?”, she asked.

“Pub. It’s late already. Don’t work too hard.”

“I won’t. Goodnight.”

“G’night Robin.”

He left for the pub, pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lit one up while walking down the street. He headed to the nearby pub where he started drinking. He had been here about an hour when a younger woman stepped to him. She wore a short plaid skirt and a black blouse, had short blonde hair and wore fire red lipstick. 

“Aren’t you the Detective?”, she asked interested.

“Yes I probably am”, he said smiling.

He knew that most women were just interested in him because he was the famous Detective from Denmark Street. He didn’t care though and it was a good thing because this was an easy way to find someone for the night. 

“I’m Veronika”, she said and shook his hand.

“Cormoran.” 

“I know”, she giggled. “Do you have any plans for tonight?”

Her hand lay on his and she made overtures.

“Not until know”, he said and pulled her closer. “What about you?”

“Same.”

She stroke his cheek and then kissed him quickly.

“Let’s go”, he said, they both grabbed their coat and headed to Denmark Street. They got upstairs and he ignored the light that was still on in the office. So Robin was still working. Don’t think about her, he told himself and followed the girl upstairs. As soon as they were in his flat, he shoved her to the bedroom, kissing her while she too started to undress him. A few minutes later he shoved her onto the bed and they both had sex.

It was past midnight and the young woman was asleep beside him, when Strike got up, dressed and headed downstairs. The lights were still on in the office and when he entered, Robin looked up. 

“I told you not to be up this late”, he said and smiled a bit.

“I have to finish this.”

He pulled out a cigarette and opened the window to the street. She had heard them. The walls here were very thin and Strike knew it. He didn’t care. He couldn’t care or this would break them. 

“What are you working on?”, he asked. 

She hesitated and looked at him for a second. His hair was ruffled, his shirt not fully and tidily buttoned. He finished his cigarette and sat down beside her. He smelled of another women and it hurt Robin. She still wasn’t over him.

“I… It’s nothing. I was just checking out this case. A woman asked us to look for her missing daughter. I looked through all the facts and I think we should take the case. It’s going to take some time. Lucy, the little girl, was last seen after school. Like usual she was walking the few streets home but never arrived. Wardle is on the case but hasn’t found anything.”

There it was again. She looked at him and could see that he was jealous. What was he thinking? That she had something with Wardle? That was ridiculous. 

“Are you jealous?”, she asked bluntly. 

Strike just looked at her. He couldn’t deny it but he didn’t say anything.

“I don’t fuck with him if you think I do”, Robin said angry and looked at him. 

“I didn’t…”

“But you thought it, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry”, he admitted and stood up again to smoke another cigarette. 

He could see that he truly hurt her with this assumption. She grabbed the files and some papers she needed, packed everything in her handbag and was about to leave.

“Robin!”, he said and when she turned to him once more he didn’t know what to say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight”, she said and left. 

She was sad that he did judge her like that. That he was so jealous. She could be too with him bringing all those women home, and deep down she was. Robin headed to the tube. She had been looking for a flat for ages and after a while, Wardle had offered her to share his flat with him. His wife had broken up with the DI and it was hard to afford this place, even with his position at work. That was the only reason she had such a good contact with him. They were flatmates. When she arrived at his place, he was still awake, working on the case of the missing girl Lucy. She sat down beside him on the big and comfortable sofa.

“How’s it going?”, she asked.

“Nothing… We don’t have any clues. What about you?”

“I talked to him. He didn’t say if we do it or if we don’t do it. I will help you but haven’t found anything yet either. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.”

Both of them sat on the sofa for hours and worked over the police file and evidence to find her. It was morning when they sank back exhausted.

“I gotta go to work in an hour”, Eric said and looked at her.

“Me too”, she said tired and exhausted.

“Did you tell him about this?”, Wardle asked.

“No. He wouldn’t like it. He’s jealous already.”

“So you two broke up?”, Eric asked curious. 

“Broke up?”, she asked confused. “We never were together.”

“But… You lived at his place.”

“I did… After my break-up with Matthew I didn’t knew where to go and he was my only friend in London. He helped me.”

“Oh… Okay. I always thought you two were together. We all thought it.”

“We played along with the press, that’s right, but only to distract them from our money problems.”

He understood it, but he knew that Strike liked her and he assumed that Robin did too. They were both idiots that they never talked about this. He took her hand.

“You should tell him and talk. I think…”

“No… I told him. He doesn’t want anything like this.”

“Really? But...”

She didn’t know what made her do it but without thinking, Robin leaned forward and kissed him. He pulled her on him and kissed her back. She moved on him and he moaned into the kiss.

“I should go to work”, he mumbled.

“Don’t”, she simply said. “Not now.”

He obeyed and led her into the bedroom.

Robin lay naked between the comfortable and silky sheets of Wardle’s bed. The DI himself was getting dressed and had a stupid smile on his face. 

“I’ll be late.”

Robin giggled. She didn’t regret this. She was free, Cormoran didn’t want her and if he thought she would sleep with the DI she could do it. It didn’t have to concern him.

“You should get up too. You’re late already.”

“I don’t think that the files and invoices will run away if I come later.”

He bend down and kissed her once more. 

“You’re beautiful like this”, he mumbled. “I’ll pick you up tonight.”

She smiled and he left. Robin stayed in bed and looked outside. She had a beautiful view on St. James’ Park. Her phone rang and she lazily picked up. 

“Robin, where are you?”, she heard Strike at the other end.

“I overslept I’m sorry. I’ll be in soon.”

“Alright.”

He hung up and Robin put the phone away. After last night, she wasn’t in the mood to face him so she took her time and it was nearly 10am when she arrived at the office. Strike didn’t say a word when she entered the office and put the mail and the usual morning-coffee in front of him.

“Thanks”, was the only answer she received while he looked at his laptop screen, reading. 

Robin herself had lots of paper work but she didn’t care. She was occupied with the thoughts of Eric and what had happened between them.   
It was nearly midday when Strike entered the outer office again and spoke to her.

“Are you up for lunch?”, he asked. 

“I’m not very hungry”, she said.

Strike scrutinized her. He could see, that she was away with her thoughts and she was avoiding him somehow. Was it because of last night? He had no clue but she seemed different this morning and tired. He could clearly see the dark circles under her eyes. He grabbed his coat.

“I’ll be off then. Can I get you something?”

“No, thanks.”

He left and headed to the nearby Chinese restaurant to get some food. When he returned about 20 minutes later, a bag of delicious food in his hand, he was surprised by Wardle’s presence. He sat in the chair beside Robin and they both looked into a file. They were very close and touched sometimes. Both didn’t seem to mind. So he was right after all, even though Robin had protested. Wardle looked up when he entered and greeted him.

“What are you doing here?”, he asked the detective curiously while getting out of his coat.

“It’s about the case of the missing girl”, he said. “Robin and I were looking over something.”

“So you’re working on this then?”, he asked her in an icy tone.

“Yes.”

He stayed silent and headed with his food to the inner office. Why hadn’t she discussed this with him? They agreed on taking no case until both agreed and now, she was working on her own! Robin angrily looked at the spot where he had vanished.

“You didn’t discuss this then?”, Eric asked.

“No”, she said. “But this is important. We can’t just sit around, doing nothing.”

“Yeah well, you should talk with him about this.” Wardle took her hand. “Robin, about this morning…” 

“Yes?”

She expected him to say, that it had been nice and that they couldn’t do this. That it was just a single time. Instead he smiled a bit and looked at her.

“I know we shouldn’t do this. But… if you’re willing to try it with me, I’m up for it.”

Interested she looked at him. He seemed totally serious about this. He wanted a relationship with her. Why not try it? 

“I… I’m not sure”, she said then. “I don’t know if this could work.”

“Yeah.. I know what you mean. But we could try it if you want.”

“To be honest”, she said. “I’m not even sure why I did it. I’m not sure if this will work or if I like you in that way but I’d love to try it”, Robin said very honest.

She was free, she was ready and she liked him in some ways. So why not try? He smiled and kissed her softly. Robin felt happy at this moment. It wasn’t as good as kissing Strike but… She tried not to think of Cormoran’s soft lips and his firm, big hands on her body. She concentrated on here and now. She pulled him closer at his leather jacket. His hands were on her body. Holding and caressing her. The kiss was more heated than she had liked and it was Strike who interrupted them with a loud clearing of his throat. Immediately they split up and Robin blushed heavily. 

“I don’t want to interrupt”, he said slightly angry. “But we have a bank appointment in about 30 minutes.”

Shit, she had completely forgotten about that. 

“Sure, I’ll just collect everything.”

“Sorry mate”, said Wardle and grinned like a boy. 

Strike stayed silent, turned around and grabbed his coat once more. Robin collected the files and her bag before slipping into her coat herself. Strike waited for Wardle to leave as well and together the three of them headed downstairs. 

“I’ll see you tonight”, Wardle said, kissed her quickly and left them before they got to the tube.

Strike was jealous and angry at the same time and she could feel his bad mood beside her while they were sitting in the tube together. She stayed silent and looked at her hands. When they arrived at the bank, they were immediately brought to a calm office where the banker – Mr Stephens - greeted them. They discussed the last payment and their financial situation. Robin stayed silent for most of the time and let Strike and Mr Stephens discuss everything. They agreed that they were out of debts and since they had more clients they also where liquid again. 

“We booked the last payment today and you’re free from all depts. Congratulations.”

“Thanks Mr Stephens”, Strike said simple.

“Thank you for coming to us when you needed something. Feel free to contact me when you need anything”, the other said and they both shook hands.

Robin bid him farewell too and they left the bank again a few minutes later. 

“Thanks”, he then said silently and a bit calmer than before.

“For what?”, she asked while she silently walked beside him while he pulled out the cigarettes.

“The accommodation. The business wouldn’t be still there, if it wasn’t for you.”

“No need to thank me”, she mumbled and walked a bit faster.

She wanted to go to the office, finish her work and head home as soon as possible. His strong hand stopped her and she looked at him.

“I’m sorry for how I behaved”, he then said. “It’s none of my business with who you are together.” 

“It’s not”, Robin said, now a bit angry and frustrated herself. “I told you what I wanted. You refused so don’t think that I will wait for you now.”

He let go of her arm and watched her walking to the tube. Ouch… That was more than direct. He followed her and half an hour later they were back at the office and a client was waiting for them. Robin made them a cup of coffee while he brought the young man into his office and they discussed the case. It was nearly 6.30pm when they finally were alone again and Robin packed her things to go home and change. Strike emerged from his office.

“So are we still up for tonight’s Christmas party?”, he asked carefully.

“Yes. I promised, didn’t I?”

“Alright.  Then I’ll see you at the party.”

She left with a short goodbye and headed the few streets to Wardle’s flat. He wasn’t there and she was quite grateful for that because she needed some time to think about today’s events. Robin showered and then got dressed for the party. She decided on some black lace lingerie and the green dress Strike had got her as present after the Lula Laundry case. She put her hair up, some decent make-up on and just slipped into some black high heels when Wardle entered.

“Wow you do look stunning”, he said in awe and kissed her on the cheek. “How was work?”, he asked and stepped into the bedroom to change as well. 

“Exhausting”, she said honest. 

“That bad huh? Well he was in a bad mood when I was there…”

“Eric I… I thought about us… And what happened in the morning. I said I wanted to try but…”

“You don’t want to try anymore?”, he asked calmly. 

“It’s not that no. But please can we not do this in front of him? I feel bad for it.”

“You feel bad for being happy?”

“No… it’s more complicated”, Robin admitted.

“I know it is. He loves you. He’s just too dumb to finally admit it to you”, Wardle said then. 

“He doesn’t.”

“Believe me he does. I know it. He told me.”

“Oh… But…”

“He can be a very convincing liar Robin. I don’t want you to force you to anything. If you say no, then it’s ok. But please end this struggle with him. Talk to him and fix this.”

“So you’re ok with how things are?”

“I told you before.” She blushed and felt miserable. “You’re a very beautiful woman. You deserve to be happy and if it’s not with me. Then it’s ok.”

“But I want to try”, she said. "It doesn’t get better with lingering in the past. I want to try and be happy again and I feel that this could happen with you. You’re a nice guy and I like you.”

“I’m glad you say that but please, talk to him. You two need to sort this out.”

“Thank you”, she said and grabbed her coat. “I’ll meet you at the party.”

She hurried downstairs and to the office. She knew he was right. They had to fix this situation before they both could move on. When she arrived, she headed to the office but he wasn’t there. Maybe he was upstairs in his flat. She got the flight of stairs up and knocked. A few seconds later Strike opened the door.

“Robin, what are you doing here?”, he asked surprised and curiously looked at her. 

“I need to talk to you.”

He let her in and she nervously stood in the middle of the room. He wore just his black trousers and a white shirt, half unbuttoned. Patiently he stood in front of her and waited.

“I wanted to apologise for today.”

“There’s no need to apologise. As you said yourself, it’s none of my business. It’s I who should apologise. I went too far by letting this friendship be a bit more than it should. I think it’s time that we start new after all that happened and got in the way. I want to have a fully business relationship with the person I trust and can call a good friend. I want you as business partner Robin and that’s why I’ll give half of all this to you. I hope you’re all right with this”, he said when he saw her confused and shocked face. “I want this to work.”

A business relationship, a simple friendship... She knew he would never say anything to what she wanted so Robin stayed silent. Curious and how she reacted to his proposal, he looked at her. God she looked stunning. The green dress looked even better than he had remembered. Deep down he knew why she was here. What she had wanted. But he couldn’t and she was with Wardle. It was just not right. Strike buttoned the last part of his shirt and then put on the tie. She watched him, still in her thoughts. When he was finished he looked to her. He could see that something was wrong.

“Are you alright?”, he asked carefully.

“Yes I’m fine”, she lied.

“We should go or we will be late to the party.”

Three hours later they had just finished dinner and were sitting – with Wardle, Anstis and some other DI’s – at a table and listened to some old anecdotes. Robin drank more than she should, but she didn’t care. Anstis was praising his old mate about saving his life and Strike really was embarrassed by this. He didn’t like people praising him like this. This wasn’t him. He excused himself and headed to the balcony to smoke. This evening was strange. Robin still hadn’t said anything about his offer and she deliberately got drunk. Wardle wasn’t making a move on her and she did neither. Instead the DI was watching him carefully. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?”, Wardle said behind him.

The young man had followed him. Strike lit up the cigarette and nodded while he handed the DI the package.

“Thanks mate.”

“What is it? Is it about the missing girl?”

“No… We found her this afternoon. It’s about Robin.”

“What about her?”

“The thing with us… I’m sorry mate”, the DI said honest. “She wants you and you want her but no one seems to make a move. I don’t understand it.”

“You don’t have too”, Cormoran said a bit stiff and annoyed.

Why was everyone so eager that the two of them got together? 

“But you hurt her. Can’t you see how she’s struggling every day? She really has feelings for you.”

“I know, she told me.”

“So why are you doing this then?”

He couldn’t tell him. All his past relationships ended due to work and who he was. He didn’t want to do this to her. She deserved so much better than him. He stayed silent and looked at Wardle.

“You do care for her don’t you?”, he asked the DI. 

“I do.”

“Then why are you not with her? I thought you guys had something going after today. You haven’t touched her once during dinner.”

“We do”, Wardle said and Strike could hear the truth in his tone. “She wants to try with me and I’m truly happy about it. I like her, very much. But she wants to have a good relationship with you too. Sort things with you before she can move on.”

Strike stayed silent and smoked his cigarette. So Robin wasn’t over him yet she tried with Wardle. He wasn’t either, he admitted to himself. Wardle left him after he had smoked and headed in again. It was cold and an icy wind was blowing but he didn’t care. He needed some time for himself. When he returned to the others, he found Robin dancing with Anstis. Everyone seemed to have a good time. He went to the bar and ordered some Whiskey while he watched his colleague dancing with his old SIB partner. They were talking and he was hoping that Anstis kept his mouth shut about old times. It was late and he was quiet drunk himself when Robin stepped to him, took the glass from his hand and sipped from the golden liqueur. She was beautiful even now. Her cheeks where slightly blushed and her hair messier than before. She drank and looked at him. He could see some sort of passion and lust in her eyes when they wandered over him. He felt strange and somehow aroused. She stepped closer and put her hand at his chest.

“Dance with me”, she said silently and leaned closer.

He could smell her perfume. She smelled of roses. He took her hand and leaded her to the dancing floor. He pulled her closer and danced with her to a very calm song. Robin felt comfortable and safe in his arms and rested her head on his shoulder. For a moment he buried his nose in her neck and inhaled her scent. It remembered him of their nights together when she had slept beside him.

“You know I miss the old times”, she mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“We had normal cases and a complete normal friendship. I was happy.”

“Now you’re not?”, he asked.

“No…”

“Why’s that?”, he asked in a hoarse voice while he already knew the answer. 

“You know why”, she said simply while they continued dancing.

He ignored the pain in his leg and continued to dance with her. In this moment she was his again. No one dared to interrupt them. It was late and Robin stumbled. He held her in his strong arms and got her to a nearby table where she sat down.

“We should probably get you home. It’s late.”

“I’d like that”, she said sleepily. 

He searched for Wardle and told him.

“Robin is very tired and drunk. She should go home.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll get her home.”

"Thank you”, Strike said when Wardle’s phone rang. “Fuck...”, he picked up. “Wardle?” Strike waited while Wardle ended the call after a while. “I’m on call for tonight”, he explained. “I gotta go. We’ve an emergency. Would you mind taking Robin home?”

“No, it’s fine. I can do it.”

“Thanks mate.”

Strike nodded and Wardle hurriedly left, taking Ekwensi with him on the way out. He stepped back to Robin and she reached for his arm when he stood by her. He helped her in her coat and they both headed home. It had started snowing a few hours ago and she now had her problems to walk in her high heels. Strike took her arm and helped her by slowing down. They walked to the nearby tube station but Strike hailed them a cab and shoved her in. She was thankful that he had done it and snuggled up closer to him. Robin was cold, drunk and tired.

“Do you have your keys?”, Strike asked before he told the driver an address.

“I don’t know. I think I forgot them”, she mumbled and he smiled.

“Number six Denmark Street, please.”

He kissed her hair and stayed silent while she leaned against him. Her breathing got calmer and after a while Robin seemed to be asleep. He saw the driver looking to them curiously through the rear-view mirror but he didn’t care. He stayed silent for the ride and thought about what Wardle had said to him and all the others so far. He should try it with her. He really wanted to and sometimes he wondered why he didn’t do it but then he remembered Charlotte and all the others during the last years and knew. But Robin was different, wasn’t she? She loved this job too. She understood him and was there when he needed her the most. Charlotte never had done that. Not really. Robin’s relationship instead also was jeopardized from the moment she started this job. Like his she has had problems because Matthew didn’t accept what she did for a living. They both had the same problem here. So would it work with them because they did the same, because they love what they did? Or where they just in love because of the job, because they saw each other every day and shared something?  He had no clue. He was still deep in his thoughts when they stopped. Strike payed the cabbie, woke Robin up and helped her out. She started shaking violently in the icy wind after the heat of the cab. He shoved her to the door, opened and they both headed upstairs.

“Why am I here?”, she asked while he pulled her upstairs.

“You don’t have your keys, remember?”

She mumbled something he didn’t understand and unlocked the door to his flat. He shoved her onto the small sofa.

“Wait here for a second”, he said and headed to his bedroom. 

A few minutes later he had changed the sheets and returned to Robin. She still sat on the sofa where he had put her and had started crying. Strike softly said her name and she looked up. Her beautiful face was tear-stained and blushed. He took her hand and sat down beside her. 

“What is it?”, he asked.

“Nothing”, Robin mumbled in a heavy Yorkshire accent.

“Well it doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

“I'm just drunk and tired, that’s all”, she mumbled once more.

“Me too, but that’s not the problem here, isn’t it?”

“Why are you so persistent? Why would you even care?”

“You know why”, he said quietly and looked at their hands. “I’m your friend.” Robin sniffed and Strike handed her a handkerchief. “C’mon on let’s get you into bed, it’s late.”

He led her into his bedroom where he handed her a pullover and left her alone to get changed. He got rid of his tie, unbuttoned his shirt and got himself a drink before he made himself comfortable on the sofa. 

Robin woke after a few hours of sleep and hurried to the bathroom where she threw up. A few seconds later Strike was at her side and held her hair while vomiting. Exhausted she sank at his chest and he held her.

“I’m sorry”, Robin said.

“There’s no need to be. C’mon let’s get you into bed again.”

Robin rinsed her mouth and he led her to the bedroom again. Only now he realised that he still wore his tuxedo from the party. She lay down and he put the blanket over her. 

“Sleep now”, he said softly. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Robin obeyed and soon fell asleep again. Strike went downstairs to the office and started smoking while thinking about her.

The next weeks didn’t get better. Strike lost himself more and more and the jealousy took over while Robin tried to stay neutral at work and tried things with Wardle. The DI spoiled her and regularly showed up at the office to take her to lunch and to dinner after work. He could see Robin be happy again.

Robin had dressed in a nice black skirt and black blouse and she looked stunning when she entered his office in the late evening on a Friday night. She handed him some mails they had received from one of their clients and some notes for him to call a few clients. He looked horrible. He had dark circles under his eyes, his stubbles where longer than usual and he didn’t even had bothered to brush his hair. He was smoking and a bottle of Whisky was standing beside him, a glass poured. It wasn’t even 8pm yet. 

“Thanks”, he said and concentrated on some files in front of him.

“Is it ok when I leave for today?”, she carefully asked. 

“Sure, have fun.”

“Goodnight Cormoran.”

Robin tried not to think about him, although it broke her heart to see him like this. She headed to Scotland Yard where she wanted to surprise Wardle and found him in his office. She knocked at the doorframe and stepped in.

“Hi baby”, he said and she quickly kissed him. 

”How was your day?”

“It was quite calm. Lots of paperwork”, Wardle said and pulled her on his lap. “So are we up for dinner?”

“Sure. That’s the reason I'm here.”

“Pity”, he said and kissed her collarbone. “I was quite looking forward to some hot office sex already.”

Robin laughed and blushed. This was new and she liked this aspect of their relationship. He kissed her and Robin laughed softly.

“Let’s go to dinner”, he said and they left the police station hand in hand to head to dinner.

Strike got himself another drink when his phone vibrated in his pocket. An unknown number, but he picked up.

“Strike.”

“Hey mate, it’s me, Hardacre. I’m sorry to call you this late. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, not at all. How are you mate?”

“I’m good. How’s the office?”

“Things here are good. Are you still in Scotland?”

“Actually, I am and that’s why I’m calling. I need your help Oggy.”

“What is it mate?”

“We have a case. Some murder and we want you to help us investigate this.”

“Oh ok. How can I help?”

“Come up here and be part of my team.”

“Sure, we’ll come as soon as possible.”

“We?”, asked Hardacre.

“My partner and I.”

“You did get me wrong there Oggy. Your partner can’t come. This is SIB business and she’s a civilian. Sorry.”

“Well so am I”, Strike said a bit angry now.

“That’s different.”

“It’s not. She’s coming with me or I won’t come at all.”

“Stubborn bastard”, Hardy said and Strike smiled. “Allright, I’ll prepare everything. When will you come?”

“As soon as I can. I’ll call you when I know more.”

“Thanks mate, see you soon.”

While he drank his drink, he thought about what he had agreed to and what this case could be about exactly. Who was murdered and why was the SIB involved and needed him?


	21. Chapter 21

Tired and hungover Robin woke late the next morning. She and Wardle had too much wine last night. Her head was throbbing like hell. Wardle was already off to work. She took a shower and got dressed before she made her way to the office.

“Good morning”, he greeted, quite in a good mood.

“Morning.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Good?”, she said and was confused by his sudden change of mood. “Thanks for last night and that I could leave earlier. I had quite a good evening.”

“What do you think of a trip to Scotland?”, he asked, completely ignoring what she had said.

“Well you deserve a holiday for sure. I can cover the cases while you’re away.”

“No, I meant we’re going on a trip.”

“Oh....”

He scrutinized her interested and waited while making them a cup of tea.

“So, what do you think?”

“But we can’t. I mean what about our clients? We’ve cases. We can’t just leave.”

“We can.”

“No and you know it!”, Robin reasoned.

“I already talked to our clients, they all understand and are willing to wait.”

Robin laughed and looked at him interested.

“This is insane. They are gonna wait until you think we can return from a trip to Scotland?”

“It’s not really a trip”, the Investigator smiled and admitted. “It’s a case. Murder.”

He saw the questions in her eyes and decided to tell her as much as he knew.

“A friend from the SIB called that they needed my help with this. I just know that there’s been a murder, nothing more.”

It had not been a discussion for him that he’d go. It was an unspoken rule to help your comrades when they need your help, even after you’ve left the SIB. Plus Hardy was one of his best mates who had helped him a lot in the past.

“You go then and I’ll stay here and keep the business going.”

“I want you to come with me. I need you to help me.”

“You don’t need my help”, she argued.

“Robin, please come with me.”

He was sure that this would do them good. This would not be the case alone, but some time off from their life here. From London and the press, from their responsibilities. It was the right thing for them, he was sure about that.

“I checked, the earliest train leaves this evening. If you agree, I’ll book the tickets.”

“Alright, I’ll come.”  Strike smiled at her. “But I’ll drive us. It’s less expensive and quicker, plus we’re more flexible when we’re on investigation.”

“Ok, great. Thanks. I’ll tell Hardy then, excuse me.”

Strike headed to the inner office again to confirm that he’d take the case.

“I’m glad you could come. I’ll prepare everything for when you arrive.”

“Thanks mate”, Strike said and was quite looking forward to seeing him again.

He sat in his office and read a file Hardy had sent him via e-mail while smoking. It was an interesting case, but the file didn’t give much away, except that there had been a dinner with some popular people and all had been poisoned. Some of them died from it. Strike lit up another cigarette while he thought about their upcoming trip. He was convinced that this was good for them and they could sort out their differences while being away. And she could learn and show him what she was capable of. But then, why needed the SIB his help? He’d left the army years ago and now they called? It didn’t make any sense to him. His ringing phone interrupted his thoughts. Strike picked up.

“Hardy?”

“Mate, I booked you a hotel for you and your girl. You can check-in until midnight, I asked. I’ll expect you in my office tomorrow around midday.”

“That’s great, thanks mate. I’ll call when we arrive.”

He hung up and lit up once more when he heard the front door open and someone stepping in. Probably Robin. He stayed where he was and listened to her rummaging around in the outer office. A few minutes later it knocked and Robin stepped in. This time he quickly scrutinized his partner. Jeans, red plaited blouse, white knitted pullover, hair braided, brown leather boots.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?”, she mumbled somehow shy and restless herself.

“Oh no, come on in.”

Robin sat on the chair opposite him and waited. Strike finished his cigarette and the drink he had got himself earlier and carefully looked at her once more.

“Are you alright?”, he asked softer this time.

“Yes, just a bit tired. So when do we leave?”

“Hardy said we could check in in our hotel until late tonight. Since everything here is sorted, we could leave within the hour. I just need to pack some stuff.”

“I do too and I gotta get the car. Shall we meet here in an hour then?”, Robin suggested calmly.

Strike agreed and with mixed feelings she once more left the office and headed to Wardle’s apartment. Like usual he was at work this time of day. She wasn’t sure that taking this case and leaving their clients was a good idea. Not really knowing how long this case would take them and what she needed, Robin just packed some stuff in her suitcase. She just stepped out of the bathroom when she heard the front door opening. 

“Robin?”, she heard Wardle asking. “You’re here?”

“I’m in my room!”

A few seconds later she stood by the door, curiously looking at the suitcase.

“Strike got a case in Scotland. I’m joining him”, Robin answered his unspoken question.

“Oh ok. When will you be back?”

“I don’t know. I know nothing about this case. He just wants me to join him.”

“Alright. Well then call me if you need anything and drive safely.”

“I will.” She stepped to him and rested her hands on his chest. “I don’t know what will happen”, she said.

“I know and whatever happens, I don’t blame you”, he said, knowing what she meant. “I know you still love him.”

“I do. I’m sorry Eric. I truly am but...”

“Don’t be. Just return safely, then we’ll see.”

She accepted but knew that it wouldn’t be any good. It won’t work because she still had feelings for Strike. And that was still in the way of everything.

“Goodbye Eric.”

“Goodbye baby.”

He leaned down to kiss her but Robin didn’t let it happen. She softly shoved him away, got her things and left the flat to get the car a few streets away. She knew that he was a special guy and it could’ve worked if she had no feelings for her partner. It hurt her to break this up, but it was probably for the best. She didn’t want to hurt him. The DI was a good man and truly deserved a girl who loved him as much as he loved her. An hour later she was back at the office and fought her way through some press guys back inside number six.

“Press is outside”, Robin said to him when she entered his office again.

“I just wish they’d finally fuck off”, Strike mumbled while putting the Laptop in his bag.

“You’re popular. You knew this would happen”, Robin said simply. “I parked a bit away so they won’t see what’s going on, but they’ll probably follow us anyway.”

Strike nodded and followed her outside, locked the office and they started their journey. Like usual they continued their little game and he took her hand before they left the building and stepped into the crowd of journalists. Like usual they asked Strike about his latest case – a diamond theft he had solved with Wardle – about Robin, about their relationship and about where they were going. And just like usual he pulled Robin closer, stayed silent and manoeuvred them carefully through the annoying press guys. The only thing that was different, was Robin. She seemed to be uncomfortable, avoided to touch him and hurried to the car. Immediately he let go of her hand and helped her in before climbing in himself.

“Let’s get outta here”, he said a touch angry and they drove off. 

It was late in the evening when they arrived in a heavy snowstorm. Robin had parked a few streets away, so they hurried through the snow to their hotel Hardy had booked for them. It was the  _‘Principal’_  at Charlotte Square, a luxury hotel. Robin was astonished by how beautiful it was. The entrance hall was cosy and dimly lit. There were wooden panels on the wall, dark green curtains, books in some shelves with small sitting areas. The floor was of dark wood, but it wasn’t dark at all. The lightning was just perfect. Robin immediately felt home and comfortable. Strike quickly looked around and then headed straight to the reception where a young woman was smiling at them.

“Good evening and welcome to the  _Principal._  How can I help you Sir?”

“Evening, there’s a reservation on the name Strike.”

She looked into her computer while Robin glanced around the room. She asked herself why they were in this hotel and how much this cost. Probably a fortune.

“There it is. Mr Cormoran Strike plus one. Double room, no leaving date.” 

She turned and left for a moment before she returned with a key card she handed him, after he had signed and showed her his ID. Strike quickly glanced over to Robin. So they’d share a room after all. He just hoped there’d be two beds.

“Your room is on the upper floor at the very end of the corridor, number 13. The deluxe rooms are some of the best in the house. There’s a king size bed and a large working place. You’ll have free WiFi, a mini-fridge with milk and water for free, tea and fresh coffee, a mini bar, smart TV, air conditioning and access to our 24h-room service. Just call and we’ll be there. You can also use the spa and gym. Breakfast is served until 10am, on the weekend until 10.30am in The Garden. Tea is served from noon until 10pm”, she continued.

“Great, thanks”, Strike mumbled distracted. “Goodnight”, he said and smiled a little, before they followed the young boy that was carrying their luggage upstairs to their room. 

“Goodnight Sir”, the young woman said and smiled at him.

Robin stayed silent and tried not to touch him in the small elevator.

Their room was beautiful and she adored it. It was quite big and had a nice view over the houses up to the castle. There was a big bed on the left wall and a fireplace opposite it. The big working space was right from the entrance beside a dark brown leather sofa. On the left side was a door that was probably leading into the bathroom. In front of the window was a small table and two comfortable looking armchairs. The colours in the rooms where balanced in white and cream and on the opposite dark brown tones and warm earth tones. 

The young boy was leaving them quickly since he felt the odd mood between them. Strike thanked him and handed him a few bucks. Robin stood by the window and looked outside the illuminated city. 

“I’m sorry”, Strike said honest. “I didn’t know about this. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”, Robin said simply. “You can’t sleep on the sofa for however long we might stay. I told you before, I don’t mind.”

He slipped out of his coat and called Hardy. While Cormoran called his mate, Robin unpacked a bit and headed to the bathroom. There was a big bathtub in front of the window and a massive shower in another corner of the room. Robin noticed that it would easily fit two people. Quickly she tried to shook off this thought and took a shower to wash the signs of their journey away. When she returned, Strike was still on the phone and made some notes.

“Alright, we’ll be there. Goodnight.”

“What did he say?”, Robin asked while wrapping herself in a warm, white hotel bathrobe. 

“He’s meeting us at the SIB office tomorrow.”

He scrutinized her before finishing the drink beside him and grabbing his coat once more.

“You're going out?”

“I’m gonna smoke and head down for a drink. Goodnight Robin.”

Before she could say anything, he had vanished. Robin tried not to think about his behaviour and headed to bed very early.

Strike went downstairs, smoked and walked through the lonely streets while it started snowing heavily once more. He didn’t care, he just needed to get away from this mess with Robin. When he returned from his walk, he headed to the bar and started drinking. It was early in the morning when he returned to their room. Robin was asleep so he was as quietly as possible. He undressed and sat on the free side of the bed to get rid of his leg.

“Cormoran”, she mumbled sleepy and turned around. 

“Go back to sleep”, he simply said.

She mumbled something he didn’t understand and quickly slept again. Strike – careful not to wake her again – laid down and fell into a restless dream. He dreamed of Laing and Robin and his time at the SIB.

Cormoran woke up by something falling on the ground and shattering. He bolted upright and looked through the room alarmed until he saw Robin picking up the pieces of a broken tea cup. She was kneeling beside the desk and wore one of these very tight skirts. 

“Robin?”, he asked carefully. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine”, she said and got up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Don’t worry about it”, he mumbled and looked at his watch he had placed on the bedside table.

“Shit!”, he grumbled and got up to put on his leg. 

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna be late. I promised Hardy to be there at 9am.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“Don’t worry about it”, he said and hurried to the bathroom where he re-emerged about ten minutes later. He had quickly showered so his curls where still wet. 

“C’mon let’s go”, he said and handed Robin her coat. 

She didn’t protest and just followed him. It was still snowing but they managed to be there in time. A soldier was already waiting for them at the entrance for SIB personal. They had headed upstairs to the castle and had taken a right turn, away from the crested gates where tourists entered the castle for sight-seeing. Robin let down the window and the young soldier greeted them. 

“Seargent Strike, Miss Ellacott. I’m here to escort you to Lieutenant Hardacre. Would you please follow me? You can park inside.”

“Sure”, said Robin and slowly drove beside him and inside a lit tunnel up to a large inner courtyard where Robin parked and she looked around.

They were high above the city with cannons on the battlements and a view of the chimneys and rooftops of the city. It still snowed and was ice cold so Robin was quite happy when they finally headed inside the old building. She followed the two men through some long and dark corridors upstairs. She could see that Strike felt quite comfortable being back, but something bothered him. He also seemed nervous. The soldier that had waited for them seemed quite happy and pleased to see them. The three of them passed some more soldiers and all greeted the Detective and smiled. There was definitely something going on. Something she had no idea of, but Robin had a feeling that she wouldn’t like it.

They stopped on the 3rd floor at the end of a corridor that was leading into Hardacre’s office. 

“Lieutenant Hardacre will join you soon”, the young man said and let them in. 

“Thanks”, Strike mumbled and followed Robin inside.

The office was small and round since it was located in one of the old towers. There was a huge desk by the window, a comfortable looking sofa opposite it. On one of the shelves was a sizable collection of beer steins. While Robin sat at one of the two chairs in front of the desk, Strike went to the window and looked out, deep in his thoughts. About twenty minutes later, the door opened again and in stepped a soldier, probably in his late 50s. He was about 5’8 with already thinning, mouse coloured hair. He smiled warm heartedly at his guests and stepped closer. 

“Oggy! It’s so nice to see you again”, he said while they shook hands. “I hope you had a good trip.”

“Yes we did. Hardy, this is my partner, Robin Ellacott”, Strike introduced her to the other man. 

“Nice to meet you, Sir”, she said.

“Pleasure’s all mine”, Hardacre said. “I heard a lot about you.”

What does he mean, Robin thought and was only too aware of the man's look at her.

“Please take a seat”, the Lieutenant offered.

Strike finally sat down beside his partner.

“Why are we here?”, he then asked bluntly

“I already told you about the case. We need your help with this.”

“You know this isn’t the real reason I’m here. I trained these men, Hardy. They’re capable solving this on their own.”

“My superiors wanted you here. You’ve a certain reputation Oggy. And since the victims are quite important people, it’s important for us that you’re here.”

“So it’s all for the press?”, Robin asked.

“No, there’s more. But let’s talk about the details of this case first.”

Robin didn’t know anything yet, so she carefully listened and took notes.

“Apparently some politicians and important people from the military have had a secret dinner to speak about important agreements and some secret contracts. No one knew of it, except involved parties and the hotel manager and staff where they did meet. Shortly after dinner people started to feel unwell and some just collapsed. Two men died. The secretary of the Minister of Defense and one SIB Colonel called Mark Stevens. He left a pregnant wife and two children behind. They were all poisoned.”

Strike understood why this was so important for Hardy. This was personal for him and the SIB since one of their own had been murdered. Hardy handed him the toxological report and Cormoran carefully read it before he handed it to Robin who took some more notes.

“You’re here to help us solve this as soon as possible. Everything stands to your disposal, we’ll pay for all the expenses plus you’ll get a generous sum.”

Hardy handed him a check: £10000, - Wow! Strike needed the money and it was not a bad deal but he left that there was still more to this than his friend would tell him. 

“But that’s not all. Tell me why I’m really here. What’s going on Hardy?”

“Gosh you’re a stubborn and annoying bastard sometimes”, the other man sighed. “I’d rather we’d discuss this in private”, he finally admitted and looked to Robin.

“I’ll leave you two to it then”, she said and left them before Strike could protest.

“What is it that you kicked her out?” Cormoran now asked a bit angry.

“We want you back”, the soldier confessed straight forward now.

“Back? But I got discharged due to my leg. There’s no way I can ever come back.”

“Until now. My superiors saw what you still could do. What you had built and since you always were a capable soldier, they wanted you back. We offer you a position as Lieutenant and trainer for our new recruits. You’ll have a generous salary and pension, a doctor at your dispose, and you’ll get a lovely house with staff and everything you need. What do you say?”

“What about the office?”

“Well you obviously won’t have time to keep your business, but I’m sure your girl can handle it on her own.”

“So you expect me to leave everything I build behind and come back after all these years?”

“My superiors do. I know you Oggy and I know, that this is a hard decision but think of it and then decide.”

Strike just nodded and then they turned back to the task at hand.

“I’ll need the guest list, a list of all the staff and who actually worked that night, a plan of the hotel and all pictures and information you retrieved by now”, Strike listed and Hardy made some notes.

“I’ll get the stuff as soon as possible for you. Is there anything else you need Oggy?”

“No, that’s all for now. We’ll start with the research. I’ll let you know when we’ve something.”

“Great, thanks mate.”

They left the office where Robin was still waiting for them.

“Oh, wait!”, said Hardacre and handed him his old key card. “Here, so you can come and go without problems and as you like.”

Strike thanked him and left the building with Robin beside him. The snow storm had got heavier again and it was even colder than an hour ago when they arrived. They were already back in the car when the young solider from before hurried to them.

“Seargent Strike?”

Robin felt Strikes mood getting worse by the minute. She let down the window when the soldier reached their car.

“Lieutenant Hardacre wants me to give you this contract of the proposal so you can read through it” He handed it to Strike. “Can I say something personal, Sir?”

“Sure”, Strike agreed although he didn’t want to know.

“Me and the other guys are truly looking forward for you to come back permanently and tutor us. We are all following your cases and heard a lot about your cases during your time at the SIB. It’s an honour to be lectured by you, Sir.”

Strike didn’t answer and gestured Robin to drive them back to the hotel.

“Will you do it?”, Robin asked while she parked in a nearby street. 

“Do what?”

“Get back.”

“I don’t know", he admitted.

It was a very tempting offer and all his problems would be gone if he’d take it. So why not give in? Robin saw that he honestly thought about it and it made her sad. How could he think of leaving? After all they’d been through the last years? She got out and hurried back to the hotel. Silently she got the keys to their room and headed upstairs. Strike followed her. The thought of him leaving and giving up the office was unbearable for the young woman. Cormoran ignored her bad mood, he couldn’t deal with her right now. In silent they sat in their room and started on the research.

It was late when they decided to head out for dinner. Robin quickly dressed in some jeans while Cormoran called Hardy to ask for a nice restaurant. They headed to a small Italian restaurant a few streets away. It had a comfortable interior and the staff was very helpful and attentional.

“Evening”, Strike greeted the young Italian that greeted them as well. “I’ve a reservation on Strike.”

He looked into a small black notebook.

“Si signore. Small table for due...”, he said in a heavy Italian accent and smiled. “Follow me per favore.”

They did and he led them to a tiny table in a dimly lit corner of the restaurant. He took their coats and handed them a menu before he vanished. Silently they read it and ordered.

“Robin, please... I had no idea that it would be like this when we came here.”

She stayed silent and took a sip of her wine. Strike knew that she was very angry and nothing he’d say could make it better. He knew she felt betrayed and lonely. Silently they ate their food – and headed back to the hotel. The young woman quickly got changed and vanished into the bathroom. She was so angry at him. Robin had a bad feeling about this and knew that he’d go back and she’d have nothing again. All her hard and passionate work gone within a few days. When she returned, he was gone and Robin was very thankful for it.

Strike headed out of the hotel again and, ignoring the heavy snow storm, he made his way to a nearby pub to read Hardy’s offer and the case file and his notes. A few beers later while he nearly finished the file, he called Hardy.

“Oggy, what is it?”

“I need a plan of the building and the lists I asked for asap. Something’s not right with all this.”

“I’ll send a boy over within the hour”, his friend promised.

“I’m not in the hotel. Could he come to the  _Royal Oak_?”

He could feel that Hardacre wanted to say something about Robin and the offer, but he did stay silent and let it be for now.

“Sure mate. I’ll get everything arranged.”

He thanked him and hung up before getting another beer. Half an hour later the soldier from before arrived and handed him the documents.

“Can I help you with something else, Sir?”, he asked enthusiastically. 

“No, thanks”, the Detective mumbled and the other man left again.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some more fluff, dinner with friends and a weird dream...  
> also a bit longer chapter, hope you like it guys :)

Shortly after midnight, Strike entered their bedroom as silently as possible again in case she was asleep. Robin was still awake, sitting in one of the armchairs by the window, laptop in front of her. She saw immediately that he was drunk. Both of them stayed silent and eyed each other curiously. She wore nothing more than an oversized, cream-coloured pullover and black lace panties and was wrapped in a cosy blanket. He was completely soaked from the heavy snow storm, but didn’t care at all. 

“You should get changed or you’ll catch a cold”, Robin then said worried when he grabbed another drink from their bar instead.

She sighed and turned back to her work. After a while over his own research and deep in his thoughts he finally spoke.

“Something about all this feels wrong Robin. This event was too planned, too structured... Nobody should’ve known about it. There must be a security leak. Someone on the inside. Someone from the staff probably.”

Robin often asked herself how he could work when he was this drunk and actually remember what he did. The young woman thought about it and had to admit, that he was right.

“I need the statements of the witnesses.” 

He already pulled his phone out and wanted to call Hardy when Robin held him back.

“Cormoran, look at the time. Your friend needs to rest too.”

“I don’t care. The sooner we solve this, the better.” After a while of ringing, the Lieutenant finally picked up. “Yes, Strike here. Hardy, I need the statements asap. Yes. If possible, tonight. Thanks.”

He hung up and scrutinized his partner carefully. Only now he saw that she had cried. 

“Stop this!”, Robin said in a sharp tone.

“Stop what?”

“Stop pitying me.”

“I don’t. I’m just worried. You should get some rest.”

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”

She was proper angry now.

“Why are we even fighting?”, he finally asked and sank exhausted in the other armchair.

“I don't know”, Robin admitted and sighed. “I'm so sorry Cormoran. All this... It’s been a bit too much.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s late, we should get to bed”, he suggested to avoid the talk that they obviously needed.

“You know that all this is not the problem right now”, she mumbled.

“Then what is it?", he asked provocative.

“Why are you leaving? Why are you going back to the army?”

“I won’t, I....”

“Don’t lie to me, Cormoran. Not this time.”

He stayed silent and watched her. He really fucked their friendship up. Everything he had built was crumbling apart. 

“You’re considering to do it.”

“Maybe. I really don’t know Robin! I don’t know anything anymore, except that I don’t want to fight with you.”

“We are not fighting”, she denied.

“Yes, we are and I’m sick of it! I want back what we had, not this... It’s too complicated all this...”

“All this what? It’s not in the slightest complicated and you know that.”

“It is”, he mumbled exhausted.

“What in the world is complicated with this? We like each other, there’s no shame in admitting it!”

Robin had stood up and nearly cried again. She was tired of this conversation, tired of pretending and shoving her feelings away. Robin went past him and tried to get away, but he grabbed her wrist and stopped her. 

“I’m sorry”, he apologised once more. “I never wanted it to be like this. You deserve so much more and I can’t give you anything.”

“That doesn’t matter”, she mumbled. “I just want you.”

Robin stroke his cheek. Strike closed his eyes and tried not to give in.

“You love me”, she said calmly.

“God help me, I do”, he admitted aloud.

Strike pulled her closer and on his lap. 

“Then why not give in?”

“I told you before...”

“You lied to me when you said you didn’t love me. You’re ignoring your feelings and all this for some stupid reason. Because you think all you can give me is not enough.”

“I know this won’t work. I want you to be fully happy.”

“Then don’t hesitate!”, she mumbled a few centimetres away from his lips. “Just follow your heart.”

Robin kissed him and he was lost again. Long and sweet kisses where exchanged, hands touching and caressing, breathing harsh and halting. He tasted of alcohol and cigarettes. His hands slipped under her pullover and pulled it off. She wore a black lace bra, not as non-transparent as he had wished. Strike kissed her collarbone, her neck, down her shoulders and her breasts. Robin moaned softly. Gosh, his touch felt wonderful. His mouth found hers again and she pressed herself more against Strike. He was warm and his touch soft and careful. She had imagined this differently. Her hands wandering over his shirt, unbuttoning it, down to his belly and his trousers. His hands grabbed hers.

“No...”, he breathed heavily and kissed her once more. “No, no more. I’m sorry.”

Carefully he shoved her away and stood up, took his coat and left once more. Alone, confused and wanting she stood in the room, looking at the closed door.

Strike stumbled down the stairs and out of the hotel. What had he done? What had he said? The snow storm was now heavier than before but he still didn’t care. He needed to get sober and think about this disaster. Without thinking he headed up to the castle and the SIB quarters. They let him in without problems and he headed upstairs to Hardy’s office. It was locked so he lay down on a nearby wooden bench. It was way too small but he couldn’t care less. After some restless hours he finally fell asleep, only to get woken by Hardy.

“Oggy, wake up!” Strike grumbled and got up. “What in god’s name are you doing here?”

Hardy opened his office and angrily shoved him in where he sank on the sofa. Hardacre had smelled the alcohol on him and was not at all happy with how his men had seen Strike.

“I don’t have to tell you that it was inappropriate showing up here like this!”, the Lieutenant said in a harsh tone. “Drunk and sleeping on a bench!”

“What do you care?”, the Detective asked apathetical.

“I care because you’re my friend!” Strike pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lit one up. ”Also behaving like this is bad for your reputation.”

“I give a damn about my reputation.”

“Seems like you don’t wanna come back here after all”, Hardy said more sarcastically than he meant it.

“Not if it means to give up anything, I’ve built myself over the past years.”

Curiously his old friend scrutinized him.

“It’s Robin, isn’t it?”

“What about her?”, the Detective asked defensively. 

“You love her, do you?”

“That’s not the point here....”

“That’s exactly the point! That’s why you are in this current state, is it? You’re suppressing what you feel, but why? I already thought you two where a couple. The press...”

“Yeah... press....”, Strike grumbled.

“I mean it though. What is it with you two?”

“There’s nothing Hardy. There can’t be anything. I’m not the right guy for her.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Strike shook his head and Hardy accepted it. He made a mental note to talk to Robin. 

After he had left, Robin felt alone and miserable. She lay on his side of the bed and cried. They couldn’t go on like this. He’d never give in and she could never start to forget if she continued doing this. The pillow smelled comforting of him and she inhaled his scent. He didn’t want her, he’d never love and be with her. She cried herself to sleep while thinking about all the times before.  She truly had thought this could work when he had shown his feelings for her. 

When Robin woke up it was nearly 10am and there was no sign of Strike or that he’d been here over night. She didn’t bother getting up and down for breakfast, she just lay here and cried anew while waiting. She was startled by Strike entering the room later that day. Only now she realised that it was evening and dark outside. She heard him stepping closer, but didn’t turn to face him. He sat in one of the armchairs and watched her after he had put down a bunch of files.

“Hi.”

She didn’t answer, instead she turned her back to him and tried to supress some more tears. He knew that he completely fucked this thing between them up for good this time.

“Robin, I’m sorry, I...”

“I can’t do this anymore”, she then admitted. “I’ll finish this case and then I’ll take some time off. I need to sort some things out before I know how I’ll continue or if I’ll continue this at all.”

Her words were like a slap in the face. She had not cried or hesitated while saying this. She was completely calm. 

“Alright”, was the only thing he was capable of saying right now.

Certain that she’d leave him forever when this was over, he poured himself a second drink before heading to take a shower. Quickly he finished his drink and smashed the glass a bit too hard on the marble surface. It broke and he cut his hand. Evern after his quick shower it didn’t stop bleeding, so he wrapped a towel around it before stepping out. Robin was still in bed and he could hear her crying. It broke his heart to see his wonderful girl be broken like this. Once more Strike got a drink and sat in the comfortable armchair.

“Cormoran, you’re bleeding”, Robin said worried when she saw the bloody towel. 

Against her better judgement she got up and carefully took his hand into hers to look at the wound. It was a deep cut near the wrist. What had he done?

“You need stitches. This really looks bad.”

“I’ll just bandage it. That’ll do.”

“Cormoran...”

His ringing phone stopped their argument and he thankfully took the call.

“Strike.”

“Hardacre here. I want you two to come over for dinner.”

“I’m not sure this is a good idea today, Hardy.” 

Strike’s eyes never left her while he talked with his friend.

“You’re coming. I’ll let someone pick you up at 7.30pm.”

“Okay”, he gave in and hung up.

“What did he want?”

“Hardy invited us for dinner. He sends a car to pick us up at 7.30pm.”

“Oh...”

“You don’t wanna come?”

“No, not really”, she admitted. “I need some time alone, Cormoran.”

“Please come. You need to eat.”

“And you need a doctor.”

“Alright, I’ll get to a doctor and you’ll come to dinner with me.”

Robin agreed and called the reception.

“Good evening, how can I help you?”

“Yes, good evening. This is Ellacott from room 13 on the upper floor. We would need a cab to a doctor or the A/E, please.”

Half an hour later he got stitched up by a young doctor in the local hospital. 

“It’s not too much to worry”, the doctor said. “It’ll heal fast. Keep the wound dry and come back in in about eight days to remove the stitches”, the young woman ordered.

He thanked her and headed back to Robin who was sitting in the waiting area. She had insisted to come with him. Probably, he thought to himself, to ensure that he’d let someone help him. They headed back to the hotel where he sat over the files and statements while Robin got changed for dinner at his friend’s house. She decided on a black lace dress with long sleeves. She quickly dressed, put some decent make-up on to cover the traces of the crying and stepped out. Wow, like usual she looked stunning and he couldn’t look way. The moment was interrupted by someone knocking at their door. Robin headed to open.

“Evening Miss”, said the young soldier they had spoken with before. “I’m here to pick you up for dinner at the Lieutenants house.”

“Give us a minute”, she said and let him in.

The other man greeted Strike very official and like before, called him Seargent Strike and Sir. Quickly Robin slipped into her high black boots and her coat. Strike took the files and slipped them into his coat pocket before they left the hotel. Robin sat in the back beside him and tried not to touch Strike or speak. He stayed silent as well and got lost in his thoughts while they headed west and then north. Seventeen miles and thirty minutes later they arrived in Dalgety Bay and stopped at a beautiful farm house. Robin immediately loved it and wished for something like this in her own life. Strike got out and helped Robin through the snow to the door. His touch was careful, as if he was worried to hurt her. They rang and just a moment later a woman opened them. She was about Robins height and in her late 40s. Her hair was blonde but with some strands of grey. She wore a decent but very elegant black dress with long sleeves and greeted them happily.

“Please come in! I’m so happy you could make it. It’s been a while, Cormoran.”

They stood in a lovely corridor and got rid of their coats.

“It’s nice to see you again Elizabeth”, Strike said and while they hugged, she kissed him on the cheek. “This is my partner, Robin Ellacott”, he introduced his partner to the other woman.

“Nice to meet you Robin”, Elizabeth greeted her as well and hugged the younger woman as well. “Come on in!”

They headed to the living room where Hardacre was mixing some drinks.

“Oggy!”, he stopped and stepped to them to greet his guests properly.

The men shook hands while Hardy kissed Robin on the cheek.

Robin liked Elizabeth immediately. She was very welcoming and also Hardacre was different than in the office earlier. Hardacre handed them a Martini and they sat on the sofa while Elizabeth excused herself and probably headed to the kitchen. While the men exchanged some usual small talk, Robin looked around. It was beautiful furnished, comfortable and elegant. She loved it. After a while Robin excused herself as well and walked to some cooking noise she heard from another room, the kitchen. Robin knocked at the doorframe and Elizabeth turned smiling to her.

“Robin, how can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you need a hand with the dinner preparations.”

“Oh no love, I’m fine. You go and have a nice evening.”

Robin let it go and headed back to the living room but Strike and Hardacre where gone. She took a sip from her drink and stepped to the bookshelf to look at the titles to distract her mind.

Strike stood outside at the dark terrace and smoked while Hardy had gone to his office to collect something. Robin hadn’t noticed him so he watched her. She looked beautiful although he could see that she was still sad from their fight before. While he watched her, Hardy returned.

“Robin, I’m sorry but Oggy and I have to discuss some things.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure it must be important stuff. I’ll let you alone.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

Robin headed outside to give them some privacy and headed back to the kitchen.

“Men talk?”, Elizabeth asked when the young woman entered her kitchen again.

Robin nodded and the other woman laughed. Robin helped her while they talked a bit.

“So how long have you been working with Cormoran?”

“I started about five years ago for an agency where he hired a temp.” Robin couldn’t believe it’s been already such a long time since her engagement to Matthew and since she started working for Strike. “How long do you know him?”, she asked Hardacre’s wife.

“Oh since he started working with my husband. That must’ve been shortly after he joined the SIB. He was engaged to Charlotte by that time, I think. 

So it must be quite a while, Robin figured. She knew from her research that he and Charlotte had been together for a long time. Robin tried to shake off the thought of the other woman.

“Do you’ve children or are you married?”, Elizabeth asked.

“Divorced”, she confessed. “But we don’t have children.”

“It hurt Robin but she shoved her feelings away and smiled.

“Oh well, you’re young. I’m sure you find the one someday”, the elder woman said and she nodded.

Strike and Hardy discussed the statement's and alibi’s but his thoughts lingered with Robin.

“Cormoran, are you listening?”

“I’m sorry mate”, he excused himself and tried to concentrate. “It’s been a long day.”

Hardy wanted to say something but got interrupted by Robin who entered the room once more.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but dinner’s ready.”

“Brilliant!”, the Lieutenant said. “I’m starving.”

They sat in a small dining room by the kitchen. Strike sat beside Robbin. Elizabeth served them a delicious Cauliflower and Bacon Soup, followed by some Honey and Lemon Chicken. For dessert she had prepared a various sum of small cakes and puddings. Roin just took a bite from a piece of Lemon Cake when Hardy asked the question she didn’t want to hear.

“So how long is this going on between you? How long have you two been together?”

Robin chocked on her piece of cake and started coughing violently before she manged to take a sip of her wine and cached her breath. Strike looked grumpily at his friend.

“I told you that there’s nothing”, he said and smiled instead. “She’s my partner and friend.”

Hardy looked to Robin who blushed and quickly took a sip of her wine. He decided to let it go for now.

“Does anyone want some more wine?”, his wife asked to break the uncomfortable silence.

Robin excused herself and headed to the bathroom upstairs to have a few minutes alone. This evening was not going as planned and right now she wished she’d stayed in the hotel. 

“Hardy, please”, Strike said. “Leave this alone. It’s hard enough as it already is.”

“Sorry mate.” Hardy took a sip of his drink before he asked about his offer. “Have you read the contract?”

Cormoran nodded.

“I have.”

“What do you think? Will you accept?”

“I don’t know”, he admitted. “It’s a good and very generous offer, but I’ve to think about it first.”

When Robin entered the room again, he could see in her eyes that she’d heard his answer.

“Are you alright dear?”, Hardy’s wife asked worried. “You look very pale.”

“I’m fine”, she lied and sat down beside him again.

After a while they headed back in the living room. Strike smoked and Elizabeth was in the kitchen to get some more wine. Hardy scrutinized her.

“I’m quite aware of what’s going on between you”, he then said. “He loves you and it confuses him. I’ve never seen him like this before. Not even when he was with Charlotte. You’re special to him so excuse me if I ask but do you love him too? Why is this so complicated between you?”

Robin looked down at her hands and hesitated to answer. She could see that he was worried about his mate but he had no right to ask her this. This was private.

“I’m truly sorry for the question Robin”, Hardy said when he could see how uncomfortable she was. “I’ve no right to ask you this, I know that, but I’m worried about Cormoran. About how he’s behaving.” 

“A lot happened in the last year. A lot changed between us. I told him before that I love him. I did yesterday. But it’s not my fault that it is what it is. I did never shove him away”, she confessed, tears in her eyes. 

Strike stepped in again and saw how distressed she looked. Robin excused herself and headed upstairs. He looked at his friend.

“What’s this all about?”, he asked but Hardy shook his head.

“Nothing. Drink?”

Strike nodded and sat down on the sofa while Hardy once more headed him a glass of Whiskey.

It was past midnight when the two of them left. The snow storm was very heavy now and he couldn’t see anything when looking out.

“I thought you’d be staying with us because of the storm”, Elizabeth admitted. 

“She’s right, you should stay until it gets better in the morning”, Hardacre agreed.

“We’ll be fine, don’t worry”, Strike said and helped Robin in her coat.

“Well then a safe journey and thank you so much for coming”, Hardy’s wife said and even hugged them both once more.

“Thanks for the invitation and the lovely dinner”, Robin said.

When they left the house, the young soldier was already waiting for them. Carefully they made their way to the car. It was cold and by now the ground was frozen and slippery. Robin was startled when Strike softly touched her at the small of her back and took her right hand so she wouldn’t fall. He helped her in the car and quickly followed her in. Carefully they drove through the night and the snow. Robin stayed silent and listened to the silent music from the radio. Taylor Swift’s  _Love Story_  was on and it made her sad. She had loved this song when she had been younger. She even had dreamed about her Romeo and her knight in shining armour who’d belong to her. Then she had met Matthew and was happy for a while until she had fallen for the Detective... 

He could feel that she was sad and he wanted to hold her and sooth her, but it would never happen, he reminded himself. If he’d do, she would start hoping again and Strike only had to destroy her hope by shoving her away afterwards. He sat closer than she had liked and after a few miles his hand grabbed hers and held it. Stunned the young woman looked at him and he just smiled a little and looked out of the window again. Why? Why was he holding her hand? Why now? What did he hoped to achieve with this? Robin knew she should pull hers away but she couldn’t. She didn’t want this to end. Strike’s hand was way bigger than hers and warm against her icy skin. It felt so normal, holding her hand. He always wanted something domestic and normal, something like he had with Robin. He knew he just had to give in and say yes to have what he wanted. To have her. He knew that if he decided to take the offer of the SIB, she’d never come with him. She’d never leave the office and their life in London behind. But should he take it? Was it the right decision? He shoved the thought away and tried to concentrate on the here and now. Strike only now realised that they had slowed down.

“What is it?”, he asked the other man somehow alarmed.

“Traffic jam Sir. I’m sorry.”

Soon, since they were on one of the main roads, a lot of cars were waiting in the heavy snow storm. It got colder by the minute and they had to shut down the engine to save the fuel. Robin was shaking beside him. 

“There must be some blankets in the back”, the soldier said when he realised it.

Strike found them and handed them to Robin. Thankfully she took one and wrapped herself in it.

“Thanks.”

Strike also handed one to the other man and took one for himself. It didn’t get better. Robin was still freezing, so without thinking he pulled her into his arms and wrapped the second blanket around her. He was warm and Robin immediately felt warmer and safe.

“We shouldn’t”, she mumbled.

“I don’t care.” Robin rested her head against his chest. “You’ve to stay warm. I don’t want you to get sick.”

She stayed where she was and he just held her tight. 

“I’m sorry Cormoran”, she said after a while. 

“For what?”

He had no idea why she apologised. Her hands rested on his shirt and she played with one of the buttons.

“For how I behaved earlier. It wasn’t fair. I had no right to interfere with your decision. If you take this job.”

“It's fine. I understand it. You don’t have to apologise.”

She was so close and looked so beautiful. Strike wanted to kiss her, damn the consequences. He moved closer but she leaned away.

“No!”, Robin pressed against his chest and sat up. “Please don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We're going again, Sir”, the soldier interrupted them and started the engine once more.

Slowly they moved forward and past a heavy car accident. It took them another hour until they arrived at the hotel. Strike thanked the young man for driving and helped her inside. Robin got the keys and headed upstairs while he ordered a new bottle of Scotch and then headed out again to smoke. When he returned, Robin was already in bed. Quietly he headed to the bathroom to change and when he returned, he realised Robin was still awake, still shaking because she was so cold. He turned on the bedside lamp and sat beside her.

“Jeez Robin! Are you alright?”

She nodded, wrapped in a blanket. He felt her hand. She was ice cold.

“C’mon on you need to get warm.” He pulled her up and shoved her to the bathroom where he quickly prepared her a bath. “Hopp in”, he ordered. “You gonna feel better afterwards.”

He let her alone and the young woman obeyed, undressed and sank into the hot tub. The hot water was burning on her icy skin but she did feel better immediately. About fifteen minutes later it knocked and Strike stepped in, a big warm jumper in his hand.

“I’m sorry to disturb you but I got you some clothes.” He put them on the chair beside a paravent. “How are you feeling?”

He tried not to stare at her but he was glad that the bath foam was covering her almost fully.

“Warmer”, she just said and smiled a bit while she blushed heavily.

“Good”, he said in a rough and breathless voice. “I'll be next door if you need anything.”

Robin wanted to say something but decided against it and just nodded before he left hurriedly. Exhausted she sank back into the hot water. This was a complete mess. She knew and saw that he had feelings but why did he shove her away then? He had said, because he wasn’t good enough, yet he was so caring and had wanted to kiss her about two hours ago. Robin knew that it was best to take some time off after this case. They both needed a break to think about everything. That was the reason she had said no to his kiss. she needed a bit of distance and getting more and more involved would make things even more messy. She also tried not to think about his looks he gave her these days. He wanted her and Robin did too. Ignoring her thoughts and shoving away the things and scenes she imagined right now, she got up and wrapped herself in one of the cosy bathrobes. When she returned to the other room he was already in bed. He had gone rid of his leg and wore nothing more than a t-shirt and pants. He was already half asleep when Robin headed to the bathroom to dress for bed. Since she was still cold, she decided on some yoga pants and the pullover he had got her. Careful not to wake him she too got into bed.

_Strike was walking through the corridors of the_ _Scottish_ _SIB headquarters. He wore his old uniform and was on his way downstairs. It was late in the evening. It was a warm summer evening when he got to a car and drove off. He suddenly was in front of a nice cottage in a small village. The_ _garden_ _was_ _full of wild flowers and roses and spread a lovely scent around the house. Instinctively he got to the front door and tried to open it. Without problems the door swung open and he entered a small corridor. There was some_ _clattering on the end of the corridor and he followed it, only to stand_ _in_ _a nice kitchen. the room was bright and felt warm and inviting. Like the whole_ _house. There_ _was a b_ _ouquet_ _of wild flowers on the dining table that was set for dinner. From the kitchen he headed to a big and_ _comfortable_ _looking living room where he found Robin sitting in an old and big_ _armchair_ _, wrapped in a blanket. He heard another_ _noise and turned back to the kitchen to see Robins mum by the oven._

_“Oh_ _Cormoran_ _. You’re just in time for dinner.”_

_Robin smiled happily when she saw him and slowly got up. She looked a bit pale but very beautiful_ _. S_ _he wore a light blue dress with small w_ _hite_ _embroided_ _flowers on it and a bow that was perfectly highlighting a very visible baby bump. She stepped to him and without hesitation kissed him on the lips._

_“Hi”, she mumbled while he thought about what was going on. “How was work?”_

_“Good”, he said while she_ _smiled_ _once more and took his hand to rest it on her bump. He_ _felt_ _something. A light kick?_

_“Your daughter is kicking”, she said happily._

_Only now he realised the small golden ring at his finger and a matching one on_ _hers..._

Strike immediately woke from his weird dream and sat up. Holy crap! What was that about? He was confused and took a deep breath to calm himself before he lay down once more. The moon was shining through a gap in the curtains and illuminated the dark room. He locked to Robin who was still asleep. She mumbled something he didn't understand and then his name. He smiled. She was dreaming of him. The thought made him happy. He kept watching her and tried to hear what she said, didn’t understand much though. After a while he fell in a calm and dreamless sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Robin woke late the next day by her ringing mobile phone. Still half asleep and not aware of her surroundings she turned and picked it up from the bedside table.

“Ellacott”, she mumbled into the phone.

“Robin dear, it’s mum. Where are you?”

“Mum? What do you mean, where am I? I’m in bed.”

“You're not in London, are you?”

“No”, she answered sleepily. “We’re in Edinburgh.”

Only now, when she was slightly more awake, she realised that Strike held her in his arms and buried his nose in her neck.

“We?", her mum asked curious.

“Yes. Strike and I. We’re on a case.”

He mumbled her name and pulled her closer.

“Was that him? Robin, what’s going on?”

“I told you, we’re on a case”, she said, ignoring Linda’s first question. “Why do you call anyway?”

“Oh, we’re in London, your dad and I. We wanted to visit and have dinner. But since you’re not here, we’ve to think of something else.”

Her mum sounded disappointed and Robin was too. She hadn’t seen her parents for months now.

“I’m sorry mum, but this is important. I’ll call you when I’m back. I don’t know how long this is gonna take.”

“Alright, dear. Say hello to Cormoran and be careful.”

“I will. Bye mum.”

“Goodbye dear.”

Robin hung up and stayed where she was. Cormoran didn’t wake up so she quietly enjoyed his hug and presence a bit longer. Before he fully woke, she carefully stood up and made her way to the bathroom. She didn’t want him to overreact because of the hug. When she returned, he was on the phone.

“Yeah, sure... We’ll be there asap.”

Still tired he rolled on his back. His leg hurt and he was a bit hungover from last night's wine.

“Good morning”, Robin said smiling and looked at him. “I hope I didn’t wake you?”

“Morning...”, he grumbled and yawned. “Hardy woke me”, he joked slightly.

“What did he want?”

“There’s been another body.” He finally sat up and put on his leg. “They’ll pick us up in fifteen minutes.”

“Alright”, she said while he quickly grabbed some fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom.

Not ten minutes later he returned, hair still wet and shirt not fully buttoned. Robin handed him a cup of tea he quickly drank and a few minutes later they were off. Downstairs the young woman from reception handed him an envelope when he placed their keys like usual. He thanked her and opened it. A picture of them and a letter came out. He handed Robin the picture and read.

_Press found out you two are involved in the case but seems as if they are more interested in your private life. I tried to keep it out_ _of_ _the papers and used our contacts but_ _there's_ _no_ _chance_ _that they back up from such a story. H._

Cormoran found a page of today’s news and read the article about him and Robin:

_Trouble in Paradise? - Sources suggested that the relationship between the famous Detective and his partner, Miss Ellacott, is not as good as they make us think. Currently they're staying in a suite in the Principal and our source confirmed that our two lovebirds had a heavy row and are now avoiding each other. We also have confirmation that the Detective deliberately left the hotel and got drunk. Currently the two lovebirds are in Scotland for a case but is that everything? We only hope that the fight will be soon forgotten and we see more of them hand in hand and happy._

“What is it?”, Robin asked quietly.

She knew that it must be something about them since she had seen the picture but his face gave nothing away. He had a feeling that they were watched, so he didn’t let anyone see that he knew. Instead he took the picture and the letter and shoved it into his coat pocket before he asked for his room keys once more

“Forgot something?”, the woman asked and smiled a bit.

“Yes, indeed. But thankfully we weren’t too far away yet”, he joked and smiled.

Someone from the staff must’ve talked so he stayed careful for now. He thanked her and they headed upstairs once more.

“Cormoran, what is it?”, she wanted to know again when they were back in their room. 

He handed her the letter and article. Robin got pale.

“Oh...”

Impatient and angry he paced the floor while Robin thought about it. She knew that he was furious and he hated when the press interfered while he was on a case. 

“And what if we give them what they want?”, she said calmly and watched his reaction.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her, shocked and unsure. He knew this wasn’t a good idea. It’d just make things even more complicated.

“Would you?”

“If I’ve too and can help, I would”, she said and sounded more confident and surer than she was. 

He adored this woman. For the case she’d ignore her feelings and play along. He nodded after a while.

“Alright, but you’ll lead this.”

What? She had no idea how to do this. Nonetheless she agreed or he’d never do this. She shoved the letter, article and picture back into the envelope and into her handbag. Laying it around seemed wrong. A few minutes later they were back at reception and gave the woman their keys. Without knowing what would wait for them, they stepped into the sunny winter day where press was already waiting for them.

“Mr Strike, how’s the case going?”

“Are you still fighting?”

“Is it true you’re joining the military again?”

“Who are the persons involved?”

“Are you still together?”

“Is it true you secretly married?”

Strike avoided their stupid questions and quickly shoved her to the already waiting car of the SIB. He hadn’t let go of her hand once.

“Fucking press”, he mumbled while they slowly drove past them out of town. “Are you really sure you want to do this all over again?”

Robin nodded and looked him in his blue eyes. 

“Yes I am. It’s the best option we have.” 

He stayed silent for the rest of the drive, deep in his thoughts and still holding her hand. They arrived a while later by a very large house in a very expensive part of the city. He pulled her outside with him and headed instinctively to the police tape when someone held him back by the arm. Hardy, he recognized when he finally looked up and shoved his thoughts away.

“What is it?”, he asked his friend irritated.

“It’s bad. Very bad. Robin...” Hardy looked to her apologetically. “She has to wait.”

“Why? Because it’s bad?”, the Detective said a tat angry now. 

“Because she’s a civilian.”

“So am I!”

Robin squeezed his hand and gave him a calming look.

“It’s different Oggy and you know it.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just wait in the car.”

She let go of his hand and smiled reassuringly. Cormoran nodded and headed to the house, Hardy by his side.

“I’m truly sorry Oggy”, the Lieutenant apologised once more. ”But you know the rules. We already bend some rules by contacting you.”

Cormoran grunted unsatisfied and lit up a cigarette. Hardy knew his friend long enough to know that something was bothering the Detective. 

“It’s not me you’re angry with, aren’t you? It’s something else.”

“Fucking press”, he said completely honest this time. “This was the last thing we needed, to be honest. More rumours.”

“What do you want to do about it?”

“Robin agreed that we’ll continue to play a couple in front of them.”

“You don’t like this though?”

“Not with the current situation.”

“And what is the current situation?”

“She loves me”, Strike answered honestly.

“But that’s good, isn’t it? That’s what you wanted.”

“Yes and no.”

Confused Hardy looked at him. What was going on between them?

“She deserves something better”, the Detective said defeated and finished his cigarette before they entered the huge house.

It was luxurious, very clean and barely furnished. Hardy led him upstairs to the bedroom where a young woman had found the body of the owner. Male, 43, working in the Defence Ministry, Hardacre had filled him in while walking upstairs. He had been right, Strike thought. It was bad. The Detective slipped into some gloves and scrutinized the crime scene. The man had been found in his bedroom. He had been tied naked to his bed and had a lot of fresh cuts and bruises.

“Looks like he had been tortured”, Strike mumbled while taking a closer look at the body.

A bloodstained sheet was spread over his crotch and Hardy confirmed his suspicion.

“He’s been castrated. Apparently when he was still alive, according to forensics. He didn’t die of the blood loss though”, Hardy said. “Gunshot wound to the head.”

Cormoran clearly saw it on his left part of the head. It nearly blew half of his face off. Strike was just thankful that someone had opened the window. The scent that was lingering in the room was horrible.

“He was one of the guests at the dinner, wasn’t he?”, Cormoran asked since the name rang a bell.

“Yes. He was one of the few that didn’t die of the poison we found in the wine and food.”

“Seems like someone wants to finish what they started. We need protection for the others.”

“Yes, I thought the same. I just called and send some men to the hospitals and the homes of the other healthy guests."

Strike continued looking around while taking notes in his small black notebook. When he was finished with the corpse and the bedroom, he asked Hardy to look through the house.

Robin waited in the car, so did the young soldier. There was an uncomfortable silence between them and she felt his looks on her. She also saw that he had read the morning papers and knew his looks where a result of the article about her and Strike. 

When he and Hardy strolled alone through the office of the young man, Hardacre discretely closed the door.

“I need to tell you something about today’s news”, he said at the asking look on his friend's face.

“It’s someone of us. We are currently investigating if Harper, the young soldier that’s collecting you daily, is involved. It has to be someone on the inside.”

“I agree. I had the same thoughts and I also think, that someone from the hotel staff is involved. There are things in that article that only someone from there can know.”

“Well then you better keep going on with whatever you two do. Maybe It’ll distract the press from his case.”

Strike nodded and quickly looked through some papers. If what Hardy suspected was right, then he wanted to be back by Robin’s side as fast as he could.

Robin felt uncomfortable so she decided to get out of the car for a while. The air was cold but the sun was now shining with all its force on them. She looked around and inconspicuous watched her surroundings, like Strike did teach her. She noticed that some journalists arrived and took photos. Just when she was about to get in the car again to hide from their curious and intrusive looks, Strike left the house and headed straight to her, after talking a few words with Hardy. He ignored the press and when he reached her, he stopped her from asking questions by kissing her passionately. She let out a small sound of surprise when his strong arms pulled her closer and his lips found hers. It didn’t last long and without explanation he pulled her into the car and told the man that he should drive them back to the hotel. Robin stayed silent all the way back and thought about what had just happened and why he had done it. He had avoided her all morning and he had said, that he didn’t wanted this. Then she realised why. They had been in sight for everyone, especially the reporters. So it had been for them. Strike felt that Robin was sad and in her thoughts, so he let her alone and stayed silent as well.

When they arrived, he quickly got her upstairs and started searching their room for hidden cameras and microphones. Robin was completely confused by his behaviour What was going on?

“Cormoran, what are you doing?”

“We’re probably being watched”, he grumbled and continued his search.

“You can’t be serious?”, Robin just said as if he was mad, when he let out a sound of triumph and returned form the back of the telly with a small wireless camera in his hand.

“Oh”, she gasped softly and it was not the first time he wished to hear that sound on a different occasion. “How did you know?”

“There were things in this article, that no one could know, except someone from the staff. Listening to our conversations through the door was impossible though. The walls and door are too thick. I had the idea when we found a set of cameras – quite similar to this one – in the house of our dead man. Hardy also showed me a picture of us. He bought the press’ silence and the original so they wouldn’t bring it in tomorrow's morning paper.”

He pulled a small envelope out of his coat pocket and handed it to her. Curiously what he meant, Robin opened it and looked at the photo. It showed her half naked on his lap, kissing passionately while her hands where on his half naked torso wandering down to his trousers. 

“Oh bugger”; she said honestly and blushed heavily.

“I didn’t want anyone to see this.”

“Thank you.”

Fuck! Robin was quite aware of the fact that their kiss would be in the papers tomorrow though. 

“The kiss...”, she then said. “Why did you do it?”

“It was the opportunity to stop the rumours about a break-up and about the case for now. I thought that was what you wanted? I’m sorry if I misinterpreted things.”

“No, it’s fine”, she mumbled distracted and stepped away.

He was well aware of her eyes over his body and his lips. It hurt him to do this to her. He was also well aware of his reaction to her being so close. His growing erection was uncomfortable pressing against the zipper of his trousers. He took a drink from the bar and sat on the sofa while he told her what they had found at the crime scene. While they talked and worked the awkward moment soon passed and it was like usual between them. Robin soon had moved to the sofa beside him to read him the statements Hardacre had sent them via e-mail. Strike felt completely relaxed after a while. The sofa was big enough so he had got rid of his leg and was laying on it, while Robin sat beside him, curled up in a blanket.

“Read them to me again”, he asked her, eyes closed and deeply concentrated. 

Robin smiled and obeyed.

“Stop!”, he suddenly said and sat up when she came to the statement of a young waiter that also helped in the kitchen sometimes. 

“What is it Cormoran?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling but something’s odd with this. I need these printed!”

He could better work with paper instead scrolling back and forth on the PC.

“I saw a printer downstairs”, she said. 

He nodded although he didn’t like the idea of the staff getting more information about this case. While he put on his leg, Robin had called the reception. He didn’t listen to what she was saying and just concentrated on the whiteness statements. Something was not right but he couldn’t catch it.

“I’m downstairs”, Robin said before she left with the laptop under her arm.

The young woman was already waiting for her and smiled a bit too excited.

“Thank you very much for helping me with this”, Robin said and smiled a bit as well. 

She was careful to not give away too much and not to look suspicious. The other woman handed her a password.

“You just have to log in and you’ll be able to print as much as you need.”

“Brilliant, thanks!”

Robin sat a few feet away in an armchair and decided to print the statements and some business mails so they wouldn’t know immediately what she printed. She tried to hurry and grabbed the papers as soon as the receptionist had collected them from the machine. 

“Thanks”, she said and shoved them into a large notebook.

“Your welcome Miss. Do you need anything else?”

“No not at the moment”, Robin smiled and unhurriedly left upstairs. 

Cormoran was on the phone again.

“No Hardy, I can’t... It’s already messy enough”, he mumbled exhausted and massaged his left temple.

Strike turned around when he heard her closing the door. Robin sorted the papers over the desk while he kept talking to Hardacre. After a while they finished and he sank at the sofa beside the desk again. She could tell that he wanted to say something, but stayed silent instead.

“What is it?”, she asked softly.

“I need a cigarette”, he said and fled the room downstairs.

Press was gone and he was truly thankful for that. Only now that it started getting dark, he realised that they haven’t had anything to eat yet. After he had smoked, he headed back upstairs to her, where he was surprised to find her changing while reading the statements. She only wore some dark red lace panties and the oversized pullover. Quite excited she moved to him. 

“I think I found what you want! It’s the waiter’s statement about his break and the one’s from his colleagues. Look...” She stepped closer and showed him a paragraph. “He said, that he was on his break after they served dinner. The others said, that he was on his break before but shortly after the aperitives. They also mentioned that he seemed kind of nervous although he’s been doing this for years now.” He tried his hardest to concentrate on what she was saying and not on her beautiful legs. ”I think he’s hiding something.”

“Probably”, he said in a harsh dark voice and stepped away to get rid of his coat and the image in his mind.

Robin slipped under the covers of the bed when he cleared his throat and faced her once more.

“I don’t know about you”, he then said to distract himself further, “but I’m starving.”

Robin wasn’t particularly hungry but mostly tired. He saw that she didn’t want to get out again so he proposed that they could eat downstairs and so she finally greed. He excused himself and vanished into the bathroom so she could dress and he really needed the loo. She quickly dressed in some jeans and her black high heels when he returned and they made their way down to the hotel restaurant. They got a relatively quiet table in the crowded restaurant. While she looked through the menu, he could see some of the journalists lurking by the bar, now taking pictures of them since this was their perfect opportunity. Strike tried to ignore them and act normal. He carefully watched them and didn’t even listen carefully when a waiter stepped to them and she ordered. 

“Yes, same for me”, he said and Robin started laughing.

Instead she ordered something different for him and another beer. Only now he paid her some more attention.

“You seem pretty distracted”, Robin noticed. ”Is everything alright?”

“Yeah... Just some journalists.”

“Oh.”

Immediately she felt uncomfortable. This was supposed to be a calm dinner but now this would be just exhausting.

“Just relax”, Cormoran said. “It’s going to be fine. I won’t do anything. Promise”, he reassured her and Robin was quite thankful for it. 

She smiled and took a sip of her white wine when her phone rang. An unknown number.

“Excuse me.” Robin quickly got outside to take the call. “Robin Ellacott”.”

“Miss Ellacott, I’m sorry to disturb you. This is Lieutenant Hardacre.”

“How can I help you Sir?”

She wondered if he wanted to talk to Strike. But then he would have called him, wouldn't he?

“I’ve a favour to ask, Miss. It’s about Oggy. He’s supposed to show up at this special dinner next Friday night. My superiors insist, but he’s refusing to show up. I hope you can talk some sense into him. This is very important!”

“I’d love to help, but you know how stubborn he can be.”

“I know, but please, try it.”

“Alright, I will”, she agreed.

“Thank you, Miss.”

She wished him a good night and wanted to get back to Strike when a young man stopped her. She was startled by his sudden appearance. 

“I’ve some questions for you”, he said and stepped closer. “Are you two still together? Why are you here in the first place and what is it with his old mates from the army? Just to mention a few. My list is way longer”, he said and smiled down at her, flirting and coming a bit closer once more.

Robin wanted to answer that all this was none of his business, when Strike appeared and quickly interfered.

“Is this one bothering you?”, he asked her in a dark and threatening tone. 

He stepped beside her and put an arm protecting around her waist. There was no doubt that the other man understood what he wanted to say, so he smiled apologetically and left.

“Thank you”, Robin said and clearly hesitated to go back in. ”Do we have to stay?”

“No, but you should eat something, so I told them to bring the food upstairs.”

“You’re really thinking of everything.”

“C’mon, let’s get upstairs”, he murmured. 

After dinner he leaned back in one of the comfortable armchairs while Robin was watching him. It knocked and when she opened one of the waiters was here, collecting their empty plates and bringing another bottle of wine. Strike thanked and handed him a small tip before opening the bottle and pouring his partner another glass.

“Do you want to get me drunk?”, she joked and blushed.

“Maybe”, he joined her and sank back in the chair. 

He could see that she was already quite tipsy and the Detective knew from past experience, that she didn’t need much to be properly drunk. She had some more and then stood up and stepped to him. Without hesitation she sat on his lap again and rested her hands on his chest. Like yesterday. He exhaled sharply.

“What would you do if I were completely drunk right now?”

“Probably put you into bed to sleep.”

His voice was hoarse and his pupils dilatated. He licked over his lips and his eyes darted to hers.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“I told you already.”

“But I don’t think that was the only reason, was it?”

Strike sighed. She knew and he just wanted this conversation to end before it started, because he didn’t want to fight with her like before.

“You are drunk. You should better go to bed Robin. It’s late."

“Yeah”, the young woman mumbled and somehow in her blurry mind, she realized that sleeping with him was a stupid idea and stood up again before emptying her glass and heading to the bathroom.

While she was outside, he cursed silently. Once more he was hard and his erection painfully pressed against his trousers. It took all his willpower to force down his lust and his feelings, before he undressed and decided to lay down. He was asleep when Robin returned to the room and he snored a little. She smiled at this complete domestic picture of him and headed to bed as well.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is going to be quite intimate guys...

Like usual the young woman quite enjoyed his touch when she woke up in his arms again late the next morning. When he woke up, he quickly moved away and let go of her. Strike mumbled something about being a hugger while sleeping and hurried to the bathroom. Truth was, he was hard as a rock and didn’t want her to know. A cold shower would do the trick, he thought and got under it. He leaned against the tiles and clenched his teeth since it was icy. His thoughts drifted back to Robin and his dream and he supressed a moan when he could feel that his body had a different plan than calm down. Fuck... He shoved the image of naked Robin on his bed with a seductive look away and after a while the shower really helped. Some more images included Robin on the big desk in front of him, naked and willing for him to take her. No, stop thinking about her that way! 

While he was in the bathroom, Robin thought about how she’d convince him to go to the dinner Hardacre had mentioned. It would be hard, she knew that. But apparently this was important, especially if he wanted to once more join the army. In her thoughts about how she’d do this, she got up and made them two cups of tea. A few minutes later he got out of the bathroom and gratefully took the cup she offered him. Quickly he turned away again since Strike didn’t want to stare. She looked sexy with her ruffled hair, the oversized pants and a soft glow on her cheeks. Maybe it was just his imagination, he thought while she grabbed some clothes and vanished into the bathroom, but she got more and more beautiful. Half an hour later they headed downstairs for breakfast. She only had some toast and yoghurt and he was worried. She had lost some weight again.

“Please, you must eat properly. You haven’t had much last night”, he said over a plate with eggs and bacon.

“I don’t think I can stomach more Cormoran. The wine is still not out of my system.”

He grinned and nodded. He hadn’t much appetite either when he was hungover. When he had another bite, he realised some men at the table a few feet away, taking pictures. Press. it made him angry, but he couldn’t do anything against it. Thankfully they couldn't hear them so he warned Robin.

“There are some journalists on that table in the corner”, he mentioned casually while sipping from a strong cup of coffee.

He could see that she was suddenly uncomfortable again. He wanted to say something to soothe her, but once more her phone rang and interrupted them. Robin apologised and headed outside to take the call. 

“Mum?”, she picked up and that was the signal for the woman at the other end to start bombarding her with questions.

“Why didn’t you tell us Robin? How long is this going and why did I have to find out like this?”, Linda asked quite excited.

“Mum, calm down”, she sighed. “And then explain to me what’s going on. I've no clue what you're talking about.”

“You and Cormoran! The papers! Haven’t you seen today's headline?"

“No mum, I haven’t.”

Just when her mum was rambling on about it, Cormoran stepped to her and handed her today’s edition of  _The Sun_  and some local paper. Oh no! They even had made it to the front page! A picture of her and him, kissing in broad daylight at a crime scene. His broad frame was passionately shoving her against the car behind her, her hands on his strong chest and they looked as if they both enjoyed it.

“Robin? Robin, you still there?”, her mother asked and brought her back to reality.

“Yes... Yes I am”, she said. 

“As soon as you’re finished with this case you come over and tell us everything!”, Linda demanded. 

“Mum, I don’t think this would be a good idea.”

“Why not? I think it’s great and you too deserve a calm holiday. I’ll prepare everything then!” She heard the doorbell in the background. “Gotta go love. It’s the neighbours.”

With a quick greeting and a short ‘love you’, Linda had hung up.

“Looks like Linda is pretty excited about all this?”, he carefully asked.

“She's thrilled! Even invited us to come over and stay a few days after this case.”

He saw how devastated she was and quickly pulled her into a comforting hug.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t really think of all the consequences when I kissed you yesterday.”

Robin wasn’t mad at him. She was just angry that the press kept sniffing around and that it wasn’t true and only a cover because he shoved her away, over and over again. She lost it and shoved him away because she hurried upstairs. Strike followed her and looked concerned at her when she grabbed her coat and left once more, crying. He let her. She just needed some time. 

Ignoring his thoughts about the thing between them, he concentrated on the case again. He presented Hardy with the results of the last days in his office when his friend spoke about the event again.

“I won’t go!”, Strike said. “It’s stupid that I shall show up. I’ve nothing to do with all this anymore.”

“You’re working for us Oggy. Plus they really want to meet you. It’s a great opportunity.”

They got interrupted by Hardy’s phone ringing. Saved by the bell, Cormoran thought gladly and Hary took the call while he stood up and headed to the window.

“Hardacre”, he picked up a bit grumpy and ended the call very soon. “Oggy, I....”

Strike turned and looked at his friend. Hardy’s look of concern alarmed him.

“What is it?”

“It’s Robin. She’s in hospital.”

Within seconds Cormoran grabbed his coat and was out of the office. His mate followed him and drove him to the local hospital.

“What happened?”, Strike demanded to know on their way to the ER.

“She was followed by some journalists and when she wanted to cross the street, she got hit by a car. Apparently, they chased her and she didn’t see the car coming. It’s not too bad. The man that hit her stopped and helped.”

Strike stayed silent. Anger was wailing through his body and he was afraid what had happened with her. How she was. They arrived about twenty minutes later and hurried in. Hardy could see the worry and anger in his friends’ eyes. Strike asked the woman at the registration for his partner and hurried to the A/E where she lay in a separate part behind a curtain, sleeping. There were too many cables and a small monitor was showing her heart rate and beeped steadily. An older doctor stepped to them.

“Can I help you Sir?”

Hardy took the opportunity and asked how she was.

“We’re friends of Miss Ellacott. How is she?"

“Compared to what could have happened she’s doing good. Two broken ribs, dislocated right shoulder, lots of bruises and cuts, strong concussion and a small head wound where she hit the road, otherwise she’s fine. No internal injuries or permanent damage. She can probably leave in a few hours if she wants to and feels well enough. She neds to rest due to the trauma but after we shortly put her shoulder back in place it’s fine. We’re currently giving her a mild dose of sedative so she can sleep and something against the pain.”

“Thank you, Doctor”, Hardy said. “We can stay for a while, can we?”

“Sure.”

The doctor left them alone once more and Hardy stepped to his friend wo was just standing here, looking at his partner.

“See? I told you she’s fine Oggy. Don’t worry too much mate, she’s a strong girl.”

“She is. But you don’t understand.”

“What is it Oggy? Why are you still hesitating? She loves you and you do too.”

“That’s not what I meant. I.... I’m responsible for what had happened to her. She was pretty upset after her mum called because of the papers. Because of what I did yesterday.”

“You kissed her, there’s no shame in that mate.”

“I did and after the call she needed some time and left. Those fuckers trailed and followed her and it’s all my fault!”

“Stop saying that! I can’t see anything of the old you right now! Your whining and ignoring your feelings even though she wants you. You’re a stubborn bastard that can’t see when he gets a chance to make his life better. You’re not yourself anymore!”, Hardy said angry himself. “She changes you Oggy, and that’s alright by me, but stop saying something like this and get a fucking grip. She knows that it was her decision to go out. Accidents happen.”

He knew that Hardy was right. He had to get a grip.

“Stay with her. I’ll try and deal with the press”, Hardy said and left him alone with her. 

Strike pulled up a chair and sat beside her, taking her small hand in his and kissed it. While he waited for her to wake, the doctor and some nurses regularly checked on her. It was late and he just returned to her from a smoke when he found a photographer by her bed, taking pictures of his partner.

“Oi!”, he shouted and stepped to the man and held him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He was angry. Of him. Of them. Of Hardy who made them come here in the first place!

“Calm down man! This is my job”, the other man said and he suddenly snapped.

“Your job?! Your fucking job is not to stalk us and get a person into hospital by chasing them!”, Strike shouted and he grabbed the journalist by the shirt. 

The man protested and he hit him before grabbing his camera and smash it to the ground. The other one shouted.

“You fucker broke my nose! And my fucking camera!”

“I'll break something more if you or any of you fuckers show up here again!”, he threatened the other man. “Now get the fuck out of here!”, Strike shouted and some nurses and doctors came to see what was going on.

“Sir! I have to ask you to leave”, said one of the doctors affronted. ”This is not appropriate!” 

He wanted to answer when Robins soft voice said his name.

“Cormoran?” He turned around and smiled at the young woman. ”What’s going on?”

He stepped to her and quickly kissed her hand once more.

“Sir, you have to leave!“, the doctor stopped when Strike angrily glanced at the man and vanished. Robin scrutinized him for a while. He looked sad and proper angry. And why did the doctor ask him to leave?

“Do you remember what had happened?”

Robin tried to remember and then nodded. The journalists had followed her and the car...

“My head hurts a little...”, she admitted and he immediately got up and got a doctor who properly checked her once more.

After some more morphine and a quick CT scan of her brain she was back in bed and waited for another doctor to deal with her dislocated shoulder. Cormoran stayed at her side to make sure she was okay. 

“I’ll now put your shoulder back into its socket. This is going to hurt”, the doctor warned her and took position.

He started to rotate the shoulder blade and with a quick move the shoulder was relocated. Robin shouted out in pain and some tears stole their way down on her cheeks. Immediately Strike was at her side and held her. 

“Sch... It’s fine. It’s fine...” 

He kissed her temple and the doctor let it happen. 

“It’s alright Miss. It’s done”, the doctor soothed her too. “We’ll have to do a second x-ray before we put your arm in a sling to avoid further damage.”

After the x-ray, he put her arm into a sling and prescribed her further pain killers.

“You’ve to wear the sling for about two weeks. We’ll schedule and appointment for another x-ray and examination. If you’ve any problems, well just come over and we’ll look at it.” The doctor smiled at her. “See you in two weeks then.”

He handed her the discharge papers and Strike was immediately by her side, thanked the other man and guided her outside and to a cab that brought them back to the hotel. 

She was leaning at his broad shoulders while the cab drove them through the night. He held her tight and kissed her temple.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired”, she mumbled.

“We're home soon.”

Fifteen minutes later they arrived in front of  _The Principal_. Strike had thought that there’d be a lot of journalists waiting for them, but thankfully there were none. He payed the cab driver and softly manoeuvred her inside. Carefully he had an arm around her waist and steadied her a bit since she swayed now and then. He got the key and got her, under some interested looks from the staff, upstairs. She clung to his shirt while he turned on the light and got her to bed. Carefully she sat down and looked at him while he put on the lamp at the small bedside table and got rid of his coat, before turning off the main light again. Sleepily Robin smiled while her eyes wandered over his body to his face that openly showed his worries.

“Don’t look so worried”, she said. “I’m fine Cormoran.”

“You’re not and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I should have never brought you here in the first place.”

He let his hand slide over her cheek and lips. 

“It’s not. I rushed things and missed the car. It happens.”

“Let’s get you into bed.”

Strike didn't want to argue with her. He knew he was responsible and no one could convince him otherwise. She needed to rest.

“Can you help me get changed? The sling...”

He agreed although he’d rather not. He helped her out of the sling to get undressed. Just keep calm, he said to himself. She needs you as a friend now, nothing more. Slowly to not hurt her, his hands slid up and helped her out of the pullover. Robin moaned in pain when he rolled it over her right side. He apologized and continued with her blouse. His fingers skilfully and slowly opened the buttons. Her breathing hitched when he touched her bare skin underneath. Her skin felt like fire when he touched her and she got more and more aroused. The blouse was on the floor a few seconds later and Strike looked at her for a second. This time she wore a simple white lace bra, like the black one.

“Very nice”, he mumbled in a dark and husky tone.

She blushed and he continued to unbuckle her belt. He looked completely calm, but on the inside, he fought down his lust and the urge to pull her closer and kiss her. Robin needed him as a friend and not to make her day more miserable, he reminded himself once more. His strong hands lay on her hip and shoved down her jeans after unbuttoning them as well. Carefully he got on his healthy leg and slowly pulled them down. Robin steadied himself on his broad shoulders and stepped out of them. He looked at his partner once more and saw that her complete right side was covered in bruises. He leaned forward and carefully kissed a big bruise by her hip. Robin moaned. Not in pain, but because she wanted him. Cormoran got up and looked at her before he stepped to the wardrobe they had put their clothes in and grabbed some pants and a t-shirt of his, so it would be easier to get in and out of it. He returned and helped her inside the pants. 

“I got you this”, he started and showed her the t-shirt. “It’ll be easier to get in and out.”

He helped her in and put back on the sling. Strike stood behind her and quickly kissed her neck before letting it go and making up the bed. 

“C’mon on, hop in”, he said and smiled to take a bit of the tension between them. Frustrated she sighed and obeyed. “Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Ok, then rest. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Strike leaned down and softly kissed her on the forehead.  “Goodnight Robin.”

A second later he was out of the door and headed downstairs to smoke. He remembered that Hardy had said something about taking care of the press so he decided to call him.

“Oggy!”, he greeted when he picked up. “How is Robin?”

“Tired but good otherwise. Did you deal with the press?”

“Yes. One of our lawyers took the case.”

“Robin’s case?”, Strike wanted to know confused.

“Yours”, Hardy said. “One of the journalists sued you because you broke his nose and camera.”

“Bastard!", the Investigator grumbled and lit up his cigarette.

“Why did you do it? I know you can control yourself pretty good. What happened?”

“He was at the hospital”, Strike explained. ”He took pictures of Robin while she was still sleeping. I just... I lost control for a moment.”

Hardy understood what was going on.

“We’ll get this sorted, don’t worry mate.”

“Thanks Hardy. Oh and about the case, I’ll need to talk to one of your suspects.”

“Strike told him what he and Robin had discussed and Hardy promised to organize everything for the next morning. Cormoran once more thanked him and got back upstairs to Robin. He knew that since they were here, both of them had overstepped what was a normal partnership. He started to realise, that they never could go back and he didn’t want to. He also had to admit that Hardacre was right. He was not himself anymore and he had to change that. Getting this case solved was his first priority. Then he’d get things with Robin sorted. With this thought in his head and quite positive that things between them could work out, he entered their room again.

“Robin, I...” He stopped when he realized she wasn’t there. “Robin?”

“I’m here Cormoran”, he heard her shaky voice coming from the bathroom and hurried to her.

She sat in front of the toilette.

“Robin! Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I just...”

She turned away and threw up. Like some times before, he stepped to her and held her hair. Afterwards he helped her up, sat her on the toilette seat and left to give her a bit of privacy. Meanwhile he sat with a drink over the case files. When Robin returned, she immediately headed to bed again. Her whole body ached and she was tired, mentally as physically. Strike sat beside her and his tender fingers stroke her hair back and over her cheeks.

“Rest now”, he ordered. ”And if you feel unwell don’t hesitate to let me know, even if I’m asleep, okay?”

She promised him and watched him while he sat in one of the armchairs and continued to concentrate on the case once more.

When he looked up a few hours later, Strike once more sank in his thoughts. Robin was asleep and beautiful like always. Only now when he sat here, watching her and reflecting on the day, he realised that he’d do anything for this woman. Anything at all to make her feel loved and protect her. Strike thought about the time with Charlotte. Not only then he had felt that strongly for his ex-fiancée. He’d had oved her, but Robin was special. The young woman had turned his world upside down and he’d try everything to hold her, to keep her safe. What he had done in the hospital earlier, just showed how far he’d go. Strike startled. Quickly he searched for the information that had been retrieved earlier in some of the files. The waiters name was Jacob Ross, 29, studies part-time while working in the restaurant to make a living. His fiancée, Miss Isabelle Gray, 27, was studying law and a few weeks back has had a heavy car accident. She was paralyzed from the hip down due to this. The name of the drunk driver was no other than their second victim, Mr Jonathan Gordon. There was a connection between them! He needed more about this case! He had his old key card so it’d be easy to go and search for the file, but he didn’t want to leave Robin alone in her current state. He feared too much that something could happen to her while gone. It simply had to wait until tomorrow. He made some notes into his black notebook and decided to head to bed as well since it was already late.

It was early when Strike woke the next morning. Like usual he was on his back so he turned his head to look on his left to Robin. She was already awake, sitting halfway up and smiling at him.

“Good morning”, she said and smiled a bit more.

She seemed completely relaxed, quite well and also a bit happy.

“Morning. How are you?”

“I’m good.” He scrutinized her a bit suspicious and unbelieving. “Better...”

He looked to his right and at the small watch on the nightstand. He groaned unsatisfied.

“Fuck, it’s only 6am!”

Robin laughed but immediately stopped since her body hurt. He tiredly let his hand slide through his ruffled hair.

“When did you go to bed?"

“Around two-ish", he admitted. “What are you even doing up this early? You need to rest.”

“I am resting, Cormoran! I’m in bed.” This time he laughed at her outburst. “I just couldn’t sleep anymore. And despite all that, I like watching you sleep. It’s very calming.”

“You mean funny because of my snoring.”

“I meant what I said. You look very peaceful when you sleep and all that worries you is gone. You look younger and then I ask and imagine myself how you were.”

“Very deep thoughts for this time of day.”

“Will you ever tell me about the time before we met? Your time at the army and your family?”, Robin asked then.

“Why do you want to know these things?”

“I want to get to know you better... You know everything about me and I know so little.”

“All there is to know is written down by the journalists that where so interested”, he said a bit grumpy now.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t want to push you”, Robin mumbled and looked away.

“I’m the one who has to be sorry”, he said apologetically after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. “I’m not used to this... People wanting to know things because they seem to care. There’s been going on a lot of crap that I don’t want to talk about.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to talk about it”, Robin said but he could hear that she was hurt in her tone.

“I’ll have another talk with one of our witnesses, the waiter”, Strike said, to busy her with other thoughts than his life.

He got up and put on his leg before heading for the bathroom. He didn’t want to take too long so he hurried. Robin was up and grabbed some clothes when he returned.

“I want to come with you”, she explained. “Later. I mean if you let me.”

This was the first time that she asked and was unsure if he’d take her with him.

“Sure. Hardy won’t expect me until 9am though, so we’ve enough time.”

“Tell me more about what you found.”

And so he did... 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a tiny chapter since I'm still stuck, sry folks but I hope you still enjoy the questioning of our suspect :)

A few minutes before 9am they entered the offices of the SIB. Strike easily gained access with his old key card and headed upstairs to his friends’ office.

“Morning”, Strike said and lead Robin in. “Is everything ready for the questioning?”

“All set up for you to do your job. Robin, how are you feeling?”, he then asked the young woman.

“Better, thanks. Can I come with you? I’d like to see what the man will say.”

Strike didn’t like the thought of her being present when he questioned a suspect. He didn’t want her to see too much of what he did in the SIB. Nothing of it was as glamorous as the papers made it seem. But this time it was Hardy who made the decision for him.

“Sure. You can wait with me”, he offered.

Robin seemed quite happy by his offer and smiled. Together they made their way downstairs into the old cellar where they had the rooms for questioning. They headed into a small room where they could watch their suspect through the two-way-mirror. Strike slipped out of his coat and the jacket before he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and watched the young man for a few minutes. Hardy knew the technique of his old friend and smiled. Strike quickly found back into his old army-habit. He shoved every thought away and completely concentrated on the task at hand. The young waiter seemed nervous and tried to hide it but it was pretty obvious at the nervous looks he shot the door. He also shifted nervously in his seat and played with a ring on his left hand. It would be easy to get to his secrets, he thought. While he scrutinized the other man, Robin carefully watched Strike. His whole posture had changed. He looked commanding, severe and in total control. It intimidated her but she also felt completely safe in this moment. Hardy handed him the files and Strike got in. The young man quickly glanced at the Detective who sat down opposite him and stayed silent for a moment.

“Mr Ross, I’m...”, he calmly started to introduce himself but was rudely interrupted by the waiter.

“I know who you are. You’re the famous detective from London. What do you want? Why am I here?”

No respect, he thought and changed his behaviour now too. The friendliness on his face was gone immediately and his dark eyes looked straight into the other mans, who looked away after a few seconds.

“You're here because we suspect that you’re involved in the murder of Jonathan Gordon.”

Strike took the photos of the corpse and showed it to him while watching his reaction. He shrugged at the sight of the mutilated corpse. A complete normal reaction but something in his behaviour was also wrong.

“Not a pretty sight, isn’t it?” Strike showed him another picture of one of the men that had been poisoned with his wife and two kids. “Do you know this man?”

“No.”

“He's one of the victims that died during the official dinner a few days ago. Mark Stevens, he left a pregnant wife with two kids. He was one of us. A good soldier and apparently a good man. Why did he deserve to die?”, he asked and spread some more pictures of all their victims so far.

“I don’t know. I don’t know these men. I’m just a waiter”, he defended himself.

“Maybe you are, but you know much more than you told us”, Strike said calmly and direct. “And you lied.”

“I did not...”, the waiter interrupted him again but Strike didn’t bother and just continued.

“You lied because of your alibi! You told us your break was after dinner was served but everyone who saw you of the other staff, said it was before dinner. You had enough time to poison these dishes and serve them to the person you wanted to kill. Plain and simple. Also some saw you talking with a man. Christopher Tally. He lied as well. Why? What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything! I just must’ve got the time wrong, that’s all”, the young man tried to explain while Strike scrutinized him. 

The ex-soldier knew that he lied. He had to get a confession and the truth. He deliberately changed the subject to find out more.

”Tell me about your girlfriend, Miss Gray.”

“What has Isabelle to do with all this?”, Ross asked aggressively and his posture changed. 

Strike had found his weak spot, just as he had expected.

“I’m sure she did nothing, but I know that you’d do everything for her, wouldn’t you?”

“I love her!” 

Another outburst. Strike stood in front of him and looked down on the man.

“And you’d do anything for the woman you love”, he deduced calmly.

“Wouldn’t you?”, asked the waiter.

Robin could see him glance into her direction and somehow, she felt as if a million butterflies where fluttering in her stomach. He loved her and she knew that this was going in the direction she had hoped for all those years. Strike was quickly back to his intimidating self and smiled a bit.

“So it is true. I’m asking because it’s a very big coincidence, that the man who put Isabelle in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, was found dead, guts turned inside out, a few days after he barely escaped with his life while you were present. Don’t you think?”

“I did not kill him!”, the young man shouted and Strike could see that he got more and more angry.

“I never said you did”, Strike said calmly and continued watching him. “How did it feel, seeing him there? Carefree and not convicted for what he apparently did. You lost control, didn’t you?”

“I saw him, that’s right. I was angry, but I learned to walk away. I did not kill him!”

“I can hardly believe that you walked away, as you say. Especially not after he destroyed what you two wished for.” The young waiter looked asking at him. ”The doctor’s report about Isabelle’s health also mentioned, that she can’t have any children. It must be hard, after you two tried for some while before. What followed was the result of all this.” He took the report and summed up her problems. “She’s highly depressed and suicidal. Tried to take her life shortly after she got diagnosed. The police report stated you found her, cut wrists and nearly overdosed on sleeping pills. It can’t be easy to see the woman you love like this.” Strike tried not to imagine how he’d react if Robin was in this situation. “And yet you still deny that you were involved in this murder. I completely understand why you did it though. Maybe the jury will too and you’ll get a mild penalty instead of a full life sentence.”

Strike stood by his side and looked at him. Anger and pain took over and before Strike could react, the younger one jumped up and shoved him against the mirror.

Robin shouted out terrified.

“You know nothing!”, Ross shouted at him. “Nothing at all! You only look for the easiest way to catch a killer, yet you won’t find him with this!”

Two soldiers stormed inside and pulled him away from Strike. They handcuffed him and Cormoran gestured them to bring him back into one of the cells, before he returned to Hardy and Robin. When he entered the other room, his partner immediately hugged him.

“Are you fine?”, she asked in a shaking voice and let her hand slide over his cheek and his chest.

“I'm alright, don’t worry.”

“What do you think of him?”, Hardy wanted to know.

“There’s something odd about all this. I don’t think he did it, but he definitely knows our murderer.”

“For now, we’ll keep him in custody. You know the procedure so let’s try to find more evidence.”

Strike nodded, still holding Robin in his arm.

“I need more information about our victim and the accident of Ms Gray.”

“I’ll get the files to you asap”, Hardy promised. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I’ll get Robin back and will continue with my research. There’s another alibi I want to check.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”

Cormoran helped Robin into her coat and they headed back to the hotel. He didn’t let go of her hand once but also stayed silent on the way back to think about the case and his encounter with Mr Ross. He was hundred percent sure, that the man was involved in the murder but couldn’t see how, except for revenge what happened to his girlfriend. But why poison all the other guests? It didn’t make any sense. But what if the poisoning and the murder where two different crimes that just happened during the same time and on the same person? What if it was simple coincidence that Gordon had to die after he wasn’t killed from the poison like Stevens or the others? Stupid, he then thought to himself. This could never be a coincidence. He just had to find the connection. 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more investigation for the case and a bit of fluff :)

Famous detective, he thought to himself, can’t see what’s right in front of him. He watched the man and his girlfriend leaving the cab and heading into the lobby. He talked to the woman at reception and got upstairs. The man continued to watch Strike before he too got upstairs to his room. His plan seemed to work. The SIB was shaken and so where the police and the politicians. And he could finally cross another name from his list. He smiled while looking at the photo of a young woman, pouring himself a drink. Yes, this would work perfectly. 

Robin immediately lay down when they were in their room again. Her shoulder hurt and she was tried.

“Get some rest”, he said while grabbing his notebook from the desk. “I’ll check on something, but I’ll be back tonight.” He stepped to her and caressed her cheek softly. “If you need me, just call, okay?”

“Okay”, Robin agreed and smiled softly at him. 

Strike hesitated for a second but then bend down and kissed her softly before leaving the room again. Robin smiled happily and sank back into the soft cushions. 

Strike left the hotel, also quite satisfied. It was right to do this. He knew this now and apparently, she was okay with it. Shoving the thought away, he left the hotel where he called the young soldier, who was driving them if necessary. He was there in a few minutes and Strike and he headed to the hotel in the small village nearby where the dinner had taken place. Hardy had promised that a reconstruction of the events would be possible and so he was on his way to see a bit better what had happened or at least how it could’ve happened. When they arrived, Hardacre was already here, waiting for him. 

“Oggy... I’ve some news.”

“What news?”, Strike wanted to know at the impatient and excited face of his friend. 

“DNA”, Hardacre said excited. “We found some DNA of one of the guests at the crime scene of Jonathan Gordon. We found traces of it on a wine glass and in the house. We connected it to Mr Richard Leclair. A rich fella. French guy from Paris. He owns a few weapon companies down there. He was here to finance some of the discussed investments for the army.”

“We should probably talk to him then”, Strike said when they headed inside the hotel.

Hardacre explained everything about the evening to him while they looked through the kitchen, the foyer and the big room were the dinner had taken place. Strike had the seating order in mind and imagined what had happened. He could see people talking, dinner being served... 

Hardy stayed silent while Strike completely sank into his thoughts. He was happy though that Oggy seemed to have solved things between Robin and him. He was more his usual self since the interrogation of their suspect Mr Ross. He also hoped that Robin could influence him to come to the party. It would make things easier for him and Hardacre was sure, that his friend would change his mind on returning to the SIB. Strike looked around and after a while and some more questioning of the staff, they made their way to a small office upstairs for some research. Cormoran was making some notes in one of his black notebooks while he discussed some aspects of today with Hardy.

“I think the staff is quite honest. I think we should concentrate on Ross and on this French guy. I want to know what business did he want to make. How did he know all these people and who invited him? Oh and is he still in town?”

“Actually, he is. He’s staying in the same hotel as you two do.”

Strike grumbled and made another note. Something was wrong about this... He couldn’t put a finger on it though. He and Hardy did some more research before they left again and headed back. Before Strike left the car, his friend handed him the file of Ms Gray and the waiter. 

“Do you want to come to dinner tomorrow night? My wife would be delighted”, Hardy said.

“I’ll talk to Robin. Let’s see how things go with this case.”

“Sure. See you mate.”

Strike looked at the car driving away, before he pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lit one up while thinking about the case. The waiter was involved, so was the French man and the clue was probably the young woman. He had to find the connection and then they could go home. He thought about how it could be between them. She’d probably move out from Wardle’s place again. She could live with him but he had to admit that his flat wasn’t the most beautiful one. He could search for a different place for them. A small house maybe? He imagined it and smiled. Having her around had worked before and he was comfortable beside her. Strike remembered the time Laing had been out and threatened them. He was – although it was a difficult time – happy to have her around. Robin was like his safe heaven when the world around him was the stormy sea. But then, would she want to move in? After all he had shoved her away so many times, why would she want to give in now? Maybe she would pick up things with Wardle again? Strike tried to shove this thought away and decided that he would simply ask and talk to her after the case was over. He finished his fag and headed upstairs to Robin. Silently not to wake her, since it was already late, he stepped in and found her sleeping. Silently he slipped out of his coat and put the files on the desk. She turned, moaned and mumbled something, but Strike didn’t understand what she was saying. Probably a bad dream? 

Strike sank on the bed and carefully took her hand and woke her up.

“Hey hey... It’s alright. I’m here... It’s just a dream Robin”, he mumbled to calm her while she woke up and started crying. 

She looked at him as if he was a figure of her imagination and then at their joined hands. 

“Sch.. It’s fine. I’m here...”

“I... It...” Robin cried again and he pulled her in his arms. “I dreamed of him... Of the case...”

She tried to concentrate on her breathing and to calm down. His hands held her tightly and with her healthy hand she grabbed his shirt so he wouldn’t go. His hand caressed over her back. Strike had an idea what she meant, but didn’t ask. He knew that she sometimes had nightmares of Laing and the kidnapping. So probably now. He would never forgive himself for shoving her away that night and into the arms of this maniac. After a while, Robin calmed down and just lay in his arms. 

“When can we go home again?”, she asked silently while playing with one of his shirt buttons. 

“I don’t know yet. But I hope soon.” She nodded and continued fumbling at a second button. “Hardy invited us over for dinner tomorrow night. You want to go?”

“I don’t know, do you?”

“Well I think Elizabeth would be pleased to see you again”, he said grinning. 

“She’s very nice”, Robin agreed and played with a tiny curl of hair that could be seen after she had unbuttoned the first button on his blue shirt. 

Her hands were icy and he was worried that she’d get sick. Worried he felt her cheek and forehead. Slightly too warm. She had a bit of fever.

“You’re getting sick”, he mumbled.

“It’s fine. I don’t feel unwell.”

“You still should get some rest. Get back to sleep Robin”, he mumbled and stood up before she lay down again. 

“You won’t go away, won’t you?”

“No, I’ll stay here.”

With a smile she closed her eyes and fell asleep again. Strike changed into an old t-shirt, got the files and a drink and sank on the bed. His leg hurt, so he got rid of the prothesis and leaned against the headpiece of the bed to do some more research and read through the files. After a while though, he fell asleep and had another dream about his partner.

_Robin was by his side, strolling through the_ _s_ _treets of London. She held his hand and seemed to be happy. It was sunny, yet winter and snowing a bit. They made their way to a small café where they sat by the window and ordered. He just watched her, talking about a case and her visit at her parents._

_“My mum’s quite excited to see you again. They’ll drop by for Christmas in a few weeks. I invited them to stay at our place. I hope that’s ok?” He just nodded smiling and took her hand in his. “I also invited Nick and Ilsa for dinner. They did it last year, so it’s our turn this time. Oh and do you want Shanker to come? I’m not sure he will though...”_

_She had braided her hair, it was quite long now, wearing a red Christmas-looking dress with high boots and a cosy scarf that fit her eyes. The waiter arrived and got them their drinks while she continued._

_“Oh and can we get a small tree? I haven’t had a tree in years.”_

_“Sure”, he agreed and was quite pleased to see how happy she was._

_“Oh Cormoran, this is going to be a perfect first Christmas in the new house”, Robin said cheerful and kissed him. “Thanks for buying it for us. You see, it’s not too big when everyone's around and maybe we can fill it ourselves”, she mumbled a few centimetres away from his lips before she once more kissed him softly._

Strike woke suddenly. Gosh... Those dreams where quite distracting but yet pleasing. He shoved the image away, turned on the light and looked after Robin. She was still asleep, this time quieter than before. A look at his watch told him, that he had slept for only four hours, yet he wasn’t too tired. The files and papers where spread all over the bed and rustling with every move. Strike craved for a cigarette yet he didn’t want to get up and downstairs. Instead he watched Robin sleep and thought about what he had read a few hours earlier while silently putting the papers on the bedside table. He had read everything there is to know about the accident of Ms Gray and about one earlier conviction of Mr Ross. He had a criminal record of B&E and assault. Yet this woman had chosen him. Love worked in mysterious ways, he thought and looked at Robin. After a while he fell asleep once more.

It was late the next morning when Robin woke up. Strike already sat – wrapped in a hotel bathrobe – by the window and did some research over a cup of tea. She stayed silent and watched him for a while. He made some notes, crossed them out and continued again. 

“How long are you awake?”, she mumbled and he looked up.

“A while”, Cormoran admitted and smiled a bit. “How are you feeling?”

“Good", she said and smiled. 

Cormoran stepped with a second fresh cup of tea to her. Robin sat up and thankfully took the hot mug. He sat beside her on the bed and felt her forehead. The fever seemed to be at bay and he was quite happy about it. 

“I've some more interrogations later.”

“Can I come?” 

He wasn't sure, like yesterday he struggled with his answer but then nodded. She'd be helpful with analysing the statements and finding the truth, she always was. Happy about his answer she smiled and then leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against his. For a second, she expected him to shove her away like usual, but he didn't. Instead he kissed her softly back. Robin was startled by his behaviour but also quite happy. She smiled while her hand lay on his cheek and he kissed her. 

“Hm...”, she muttered quite pleased. 

“What?”, he asked and kissed her once more.

“You don’t shove me away?”, Robin wanted to know.

“I.... I thought about it and I’m truly sorry for how I behaved. When you lay in hospital I realised that I was stupid. I decided to give in and try, if that’s what you still want?”

“I do”, she agreed. “I still want to try. I love you Cormoran.”

“I love you too and that’s why I also want to take things slowly, okay?” She nodded. “This is important to me and I promised myself I would never let you go unless you want to.”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

Once more she kissed him and he softly pulled her closer. After a while both let go of each other.

“I gotta get dressed or we’ll be late.”

“But I don’t care”, she admitted and fumbled at the knot of his bathrobe. 

Her arm hurt but she ignored it and continued. Strike knew what she wanted and he wanted it as well, but it was too early, so he grabbed her wrists and kissed her before softly shoving her away and standing up. 

“We shouldn’t be late love”, he mumbled.

She sighed frustrated but he laughed. It sounded strange, hearing him say love. It was a completely different side on him but Robin liked it. She had always liked playful Strike but this was different. This was for her only. No one would see this side of him, just Robin. He headed to the bathroom to get dressed and Robin stood up a as well and got ready. After a few minutes he stepped out and Robin got in for a quick shower. She still had problems with the splint and so she once more asked Cormroan for help after her shower. She wore a simple black wrap-dress she could easily put on and off herself. He helped her into the splint and her coat and they both left the hotel where the young soldier was already waiting for them. He got them to the castle and Strike got her downstairs to the interrogation rooms once more. Hardy was already waiting for him with another young man, Mr Christopher Tally. The Lieutenant got Robin into the small room where they could watch Strike before he headed to the young man in the other room. Strike entered the room, notebook in hand and greeted him.

“Hello”, Tally also greeted and was quite calm. 

“You know why you’re here?”, he asked and sat opposite the young man. 

“I presume you’ve some questions”, he joked slightly.

“If you want to put it that way, I do have questions.” 

“Well then, fire away”, he said calmly and very bluntly. 

Strike smiled and opened a file to show him the pics of their two dead man, Jonathan Gordan and Mark Stevens.

“Do you know these men?”

“I saw them at the dinner the other night. But I don’t know them personally, no.”

“That’s true, they attended the special dinner and both died, not a week after it. Mr Stevens due to the poison. Mr Gordon was tortured and murdered.” Strike then showed him another picture of their suspect Mr Ross. “You know him, don’t you?”

“I do. He’s a colleague and friend. We work together.”

“Can you tell me more about him? How’s he at work? Did he behave strange that night the dinner took place?”

“You suspect him to have something to do with this?”, Tally asked him interested.

“We do. He has good reasons to kill Gordon. He was the one who got his fiancée into a wheelchair.”

“Oh...” The young man looked affected at the picture of his friend. “I’m not sure he could do it through.”

“Why is that?”, Strike asked calmly. 

“He was very angry after the thing with Isabelle happened but he learned to control himself. He went to therapy with her, he moved on, I think. Also.. I can’t imagine that he’d murder someone.”

“You know that your friend has a criminal record of breaking and entering and assault?”

“No, I did not. But I’m sure that where just some things of his youth. He changed.”

Strike decided to show him the pictures of Gordon’s crime scene and the corpse. The young man flinched at the sight of them and shuddered slightly. 

“You can’t imagine that he’d do something like this, torture a man like this, because he put his girlfriend in a wheelchair, made her depressed and suicidal?”

Tally stared at the pictures and thought about it before he looked up at the Detective. Strike saw in his look, that he could imagine his friend doing something like this.

“So you can imagine him doing something like this, can you?”

“Yeah...”, he mumbled and nodded. “I’m sorry I lied...”

“You can make it up by telling me what happened that night.”

“He is good”, Hardy mumbled beside Robin while she watched the scene carefully.

She had seen him like this before. During some cases. She had thought the same when she had seen him do it. Persuade people to tell him the truth by showing them evidence and simply talk to them sometimes. Robin had always wondered where he had learned it but now, she knew. It was his usual habit at the army. She could see that he enjoyed this case, even though it was a hard one. She would talk to him about all this when the case was done. She simply had to. 

“Jacob was quite erratic that night. He was not his usual calm self and I knew that something was going on. He said it was something that had happened at home with Isabelle but I knew he lied”, Tally finally told the Detective. “He was asking questions about the guests and sniffing around in the kitchen although he was simply supposed to work in service that night. It felt strange but after a while I forgot about all of it because it was a busy night.”

While the young man told him what had happened, he made some notes and watched him. He was quite helpful and once more everything pointed to their suspect, the waiter Mr Ross. An hour later Strike said his goodbye and the young man left them. He simply waited and thought a few minutes about the current evidence before he headed to Hardy and Robin. 

“I want to talk to Ross’ girlfriend!”, Strike ordered in a sharp tone and headed outside while he ordered another soldier to get the second suspect into the interrogation room. It was the French man, Richard Leclair. Robin saw that something was bothering him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something is not right. I think Tally told us the truth but I don’t get it. Why would Ross kill Stevens? I mean he had a reason to kill Gordon, that’s for sure, but why Stevens? A soldier he never had any contact with. I think this is bigger than we can imagine at the moment.”

“So it’s not just for the girl?”

“No... I don’t think so. We have to find out, what they discussed that night.”

“I can do that.”

“Great, I’ll question this French guy then.”

Robin headed off to Hardy to ask him about information while Strike got into the interrogation room once more. The man looked up when he stepped in and he could see immediately, that he was not pleased to be here. Cormoran stayed silent and just watched him while sitting opposite the older man. He was in his mid 60s, grey hair, tall and quite fit for his age. He looked displeased at the Detective. 

“Mr Leclair, I’m Cormoran Strike. You know why you’re here?”

“I know that being here, is a waste of time, that’s enough for me.”

“You attended a special dinner where some of the guests turned up dead. We also found some of your DNA at a very recent crime scene where the man who lived there, found murdered and tortured in his house.”

“I attended the dinner, yes. But I don’t know about any murder.”

He waved with his hand as if this was ridiculous and it would go away with it. He doesn’t care at all, Strike deduced.

“Well you should. As I said we found some DNA which makes you our number one suspect.”

“Pah... Don’t be ridiculous Detective!”, he said in a heavy French accent and laughed. 

“Tell me about that dinner then. What did you discuss? Who invited you and why?”

“I do believe, that’s none of your business Monsieur Strike. This meeting was very secret and all guests obliged to complete confidentiality.”

Strike grumbled and made a note. Bloody Frenchman! 

“You won’t talk to me, but this is a murder investigation and I don’t give a fuck about your confidentiality. A good man died, leaving his wife and kids. An employee of the Defence Ministry got tortured and murdered in his own bedroom and you tell me about confidentiality!”

“Well that’s the point, isn’t it? We stay silent so that such things don’t happen. Our business is a dangerous one, Monsieur Strike. We don’t talk to strangers, we keep our secrets and meet in abandoned places. And since you don’t have any evidence, that I was actually involved in this murder, I’d rather leave. I have important business to deal with.” The man stood up, closed the button of his jacket and headed to the door. “Goodbye, Monsieur Strike.”

A few seconds later the man had vanished. Strike sank on the chair. Brilliant, this had been useless! 

“Shall I bring him back?”, he heard Hardy through the speakers.

“No. There’s no use in that”, he answered, fully aware that his friend heard him. “I want to speak to Ross once more.”

“I’ll get him.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry...

Ross was still in custody but they had to let him go today. A few minutes later, Strike once more had changed into his unyielding posture, two soldiers got him in, uncuffed him and left them alone once more.

“Why the fuck did you keep me? You can’t just leave me rotting in a cell!”, the young waiter immediately shouted at Strike who stayed calm and watched him.

“We have the right to keep you if necessary. Since we do suspect you for murder, it was a good reason to keep you in.”

“I did not kill him!”, Ross shouted and got angry once more.

Strike wasn’t sure what to think of him. He was temperamental and even one of his friends said he could imagine that Ross killed someone but then on the other hand the Detective didn’t believe that he’d leave his fiancée alone by going to jail. So why did he stay silent? Why make himself a suspect. Who did he protect? 

“I’m starting to believe you”, Strike admitted calmly. “So tell me who you protect. We can help if you’re in trouble, you know.”

Strike could see the slight cringe of the young man and knew that he was right. He stayed silent and let his offer sink in. There was no further reaction from Ross. Bloody hell, how stubborn can someone be? 

“I don’t get it. You risk to get to prison and don’t see Isabelle ever again for nothing. For protecting someone who killed those people and probably plans to do it again.”

Strike grabbed the files and stood up. When he was nearly by the door the young man finally spoke.

“You don’t understand anything”, Ross mumbled like the day before.

“Maybe, but I’ll catch whoever’s responsible for this.”

“Can I go?”

“For now...”

Ross stood up and quickly walked past Strike. The Detective watched him head outside with one of the soldiers and then got back to Hardy.

“Not a really good talk, was it?”, Hardy grumbled unsatisfied. 

“I need to find out what they discussed that night and why the French guy was a Gordon’s place. Where’s Robin?”

“In my office, why?”

Strike left without another word, deep in his thoughts and went upstairs to help Robin. Hardacre followed him silently. Robin sat at Hardy’s desk and read in a file, making notes. Hardy soon joined her while Strike stood by the window, looking out. It started snowing again and got colder by the minute. After a while the phone rang and the Lieutenant picked it up. 

“It’s for the case Sir... Yes Sir...”

“Let me guess”, Strike said. “We have to stop working on what they discussed that night?”

“How do you know?”

“It’s obvious.”

“But we can’t it’s important for the case to find this out!”, Robin protested.

“I give you two minutes”, Hardy said and left the office. 

Quickly Robin started to take photos with her smartphone and write down as much as she could. Exactly two minutes later, Hardy returned with another soldier who immediately got the files. After he had got everything, he left again. 

“Someone’s influence is stronger as we thought and I think I know who it is...”, Cormoran grumbled.

Hardy looked at him and then realised. 

“You mean the French guy? But why?”

“He was way too calm and evasive during the questioning”, Robin then said and Strike smiled at her.

“Exactly. I would expect people to react differently when someone suspects me for murder”, he said.

“So you think he doesn’t want us to find out because he’s involved in all this?”

“Probably”, Strike agreed with Hardacre. “Well then we just have to do things on our own way”, he said to Robin and she smiled once more. “We’ll investigate. I’m not in the army and you shouldn’t get any problems with this if we do this on our own”, he said to his mate and Hardy nodded. 

“Alright, but if you need any help, let me know.”

“I will, thanks mate. We should get going, I want to talk to Ross’ girlfriend.”

 Robin quickly collected all papers and notes before he guided her outside. Some soldiers greeted him when they passed, others just curiously looked at them. Before they left the building, some General – he could see his rank at the emblem at his uniform -, made his way to them. 

“Seargent Strike!”, he said and the younger man stopped, Robin by his side. “I’d like to have a word with you please.”

“Sure Sir. Can I just talk to my partner for a second in privacy?”

“Sure”, the other said but didn’t like it at all.

Strike guided Robin a few feet away.

“I want you to go back to the hotel. Get rid of the files and store them somewhere safe. Try to talk to Isabelle Gray and be careful. I’m trying to get there asap.”

“Alright, be safe”, she whispered back with a last look at the other man and left to do as he had said.

“I’m sorry Sir. I’m all yours now”, he joked slightly and tried to stay neutral for the moment.

“Brilliant. Will you follow me into my office? I’ve some important things to discuss with you.”

Strike did as he was asked and followed the other man upstairs and to quite a big office that had a view over the city. They took their seats by a big old fireplace and the other man handed him a drink.

“I wanted to talk with you about our offer.”

“Your offer to come work for you again?”, Strike carefully asked.

“Yes. I’m General Steward. I ordered for you to come here. It’s a pleasure to see that you came and work for us again. I heard a lot about you. You have quite the reputation, Lieutenant.”

“Thank you. But why me? I had to leave due to my injuries and now you want me back?”

“We saw what you had achieved in London. We see now that you’re still capable to solve a case and investigate. We want you back. You’re a brilliant mind. We need men like you in the army.”

“It’s an honour to be praised by a man of your rank.”

“Lieutenant Hardacre already got you the offer. A house, a personal doctor for you, a more than generous sum every year and housekeepers and soldiers at your disposal. You will have all the medical attention you need. You’d also be teaching our new recruits. A few journey’s, but I’m sure that won’t bother you.”

“I won’t take your offer”, Strike finally said.

“What? Why not?”

“I have an office in London and a life there”, he said simply.

“Well that’s nothing compared to what we give you.”

“I’m sorry Sir, I have to decline.”

“Is it because of the girl?”, he asked annoyed.

“No, it’s not just because of the girl. I’ve built myself a life Sir. A life I value and don’t want to give up. Even if this means declining all the things you offer me.”

“Well... I didn’t think you’d say no to us. How can I make you come back?”

“With the current situation being like it is, you can’t do anything Sir.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that”, the General said a bit grumpy now. “But if you change your mind, don’t be shy to call me.”

“I will, thank you for your generous offer, Sir.”

Strike and General Steward shook hands before the Detective left the office and headed back to the hotel. He lit up a cigarette, turned up the collar of his coat and made his way back through the upcoming snow storm. Robin had texted him, that she was on her way to the girlfriend of their suspect. He wasn’t sure if he could get there in time, so he decided to not interfere and let Robin do this interview while looking for some more clues. When he returned, press was waiting in front of the hotel again.

“Is it true you joined the Army again?”

“Are you and Robin secretly married?”

“Are you involved in the investigation of the murder and torture of Gordon?”

“Will you ask Robin to marry you?”

He ignored the questions and headed inside before texting Robin.

_Press is outside again. If you need help getting up, just call. S._

Robin received his text just when she arrived at the house of Isabelle Gray’s parents. She had learned, that the young woman had moved in again after her accident. Robin rang the bell and a young woman was opening her.

“Can I help you Miss?”

“I’m here to see Miss Gray”, Robin said.

“Who is it Mary?”, she heard another women’s voice coming closer and soon a young woman in a wheelchair was by her side.

“Isabelle Gray?”, Robin asked and smiled a bit. “I’m Robin Ellacott, I have some questions for you.”

“Are you from the police?”, Isabelle asked suspicious.

“No. I’m working as a Private Investigator in London. I’m here to find the murder of a soldier and the man who put you in this situation. I heard how it happened, I’m truly sorry.”

“I don’t need your compassion!”

“I’m here to find out more. Also, of your case. My partner and I hope we can help you with this.”

This was the first time the young woman opened up and scrutinized Robin.

“The man who got you into this chair had been tortured and murdered and your fiancé is the number one suspect. My partner thinks there’s more to it though. We think he’s been involved but someone forced him to do it.”

“Come on in”, Isabelle said and Robin followed her into the living room where the other woman got them a cup of tea.

“And how do you think I could help with all this?”

“Can you tell me what happened and where your boyfriend was two days ago at night.”

“He was very angry after that dinner when he saw Gordon again. He was shouting and threatening the other man so that my dad kicked him out. He wasn’t here two days ago at night. I don’t know where he was. But you don’t think he did it, do you?”

Robin sipped from the tea before she answered, carefully what to say.

“I don’t know. I don’t think he did it but you never know what a person is capable under the right circumstances.”

For a moment she thought of Cormoran and what he had been willing to do when Laing was bothering them. Isabelle looked down at her hands and thought about what she had said. 

“I know that he’d do everything for me. I’m trying to make the best of this situation but it’s not easy, also for him. He’s very temperamental when it comes to me. I can’t imagine, that he would give everything up just to do this, to murder Gordon. What happened between him and me was an accident, nothing more and I’m trying to deal with it. Get past all this and start new. Jacob is trying as well. I don’t think he did it. He wouldn’t left me alone now that we’ve come so far.”

“Alright...”, Robin mumbled. 

“Believe me, he would do everything for me but he’d never give me up. Give us up.”

Robin sipped on her tea again. She had read the file of the young woman.

“Can you tell me what happened that night when you got injured?”

“I was going home from uni. I was on my way to dinner with Jacob”, she said and smiled while thinking about him. “It was heavily raining and I wanted to take the bus, but it was late so I walked. I was heading over the road when there suddenly was this car. It was very quick and the lights where red so I firstly expect it to stop but it didn’t. I was too slow. I just saw the lights and then I woke up a few days later in hospital with the new that I could never walk or have children. I had a hard time. Still have problems with this sometimes. But I’m in therapy and moving forward.”

“I’m truly sorry for what happened. Thank you so much for your help Miss.”

“Your welcome. And please, can you prove that he’s innocent? I know he didn’t do it.”

“I’m trying Miss. But we’re looking through all leads. Put I promise, my partner and I are not judgemental about the people we investigate and are just trying to catch a murderer. I’ll let you know if we have any good news.”

“Okay”, the young woman said and they shook hands before Robin once more left. 

This wasn’t very helpful, Robin thought while hailing a cab. She had deliberately not asked the young soldier and was now heading back to the hotel, sorting her thoughts about what Isabelle Gray had said. He didn’t do it. He wants to build a new life with her. Doesn’t sound like he did it, Robin thought. But then... The evidence was so strong that he was somehow involved. Even though his fiancée did think he didn’t do it.

“Miss, we’re here!”, the driver said and brought her back to reality.

“Oh... Sorry”, she mumbled, handed him some pounds and left the cab.

Immediately the press, she had forgotten about it, was storming to her and was asking questions.

“How did this happen with your arm?”

“How are things between you and Strike?”

“How’s the case going?”

“Sources suggest you here on a honeymoon.”

They didn’t let her through and had circled her like a bunch of vultures to get something of their prey. Robin tried to get through but they didn’t let her. 

“A colleague of mine said that your ex-husband is going to be married again soon”, one of the journalists said and Robin startled. 

What? Matthew was going to get married again? She tried not to think about it, but was surprised though.

“Are you and Strike married as well? Sources suggest you married in secret.”

“Please let me through”, Robin finally said but they wouldn’t listen.

After a while few more minutes someone made their way through the bunch of journalists and took her arm. It was Hardacre. He pulled her towards him and carefully guided her through and inside the hotel. He could feel that she was shaken by the meeting with the journalists. He didn’t let her go in case she was fainting and he got her upstairs to their room. Strike opened after a short knock and was startled to see Robin – kind of pale and shaken – in his friends' arms.

“What happened?”, he immediately wanted to know when he let them in.

“Journalists”, Hardy said while Robin stayed silent.

“Bloody hell!”, Strike grumbled and took her in his arms. “Sch... It’s alright Robin. You’re with us now...”

She promptly calmed down in his arms. 

“Thank you”, she then said to Hardacre who was still looking worried at her. 

“Your welcome.”

“Why are you here anyway?”, Strike asked while Robin untangled from his grip and stood by his side.

“I wanted to collect you for dinner and talk about the case in private. I know that someone is influencing my superiors and I don’t like it. I want this case solved. Stevens was a good soldier and a friend. I want the one who did this.”

“Like old days huh?”, Strike said simple and looked at his friend.

“Like old days”, Hardacre agreed and smiled a bit.

“I think I’m gonna change for dinner then”, Robin said, got to the wardrobe, took something out and left to the bathroom. 

She needed a bit of time alone. While Strike and Hardacre sat down and discussed the case with a drink, Robin decided to take a hot bath. She undressed and sank into the hot water, letting her thoughts glide. Matthew was marrying again. Robin guessed that it was Sarah Shadlock after all. She had not thought that after all this time it would still influence her what he was going to do. Robin shoved the thought of her ex-husband away. She was happy with Strike. They finally tried it together and he was willing to give her the world. He had finally said he would try and it had made her more than happy. Robin had wanted this for so long and she was ready to go all the way with him. She can’t wait for this case to be over and start their relationship properly. She thought about his kisses and his touches and it made her aroused. She wanted him. Robin closed her eyes and thought about his hands on her body. His kisses. She moaned frustrated and tried to think of something else but she was so tired that she fell asleep after a while.

After a while – Strike was worried that Robin wasn’t back from the bathroom – he headed to her. He knocked and stepped in when she didn’t answer. Cormoran smiled whe he found her sleeping in the bathtub. He stepped to her and stroke her cheek.

“Wake up love.” She smiled when she finally woke. “Hi baby.”

“Hi”, she mumbled sleepy. “What time is it?”

“We should get going. Hardy is waiting for us for dinner.”

“Oh.. I’m sorry I fell asleep. I’ll hurry.”

Robin tried to get up but it wasn’t too easy with her arm. 

“Shall I help?”, he asked and Robin nodded.

He carefully pulled her up and got her a towel he wrapped around her. Robin could feel the look he gave her and was aroused again. She wanted him. Ignoring the slight pain in her shoulder, she manoeuvred him to the wash basins and pressed him against it before she kissed him hungrily. Strike was surprised by this but kissed her back. Her hands opened his shirt and then she started unbuttoning his trousers while her kisses tried to distract him. 

“Robin... Robin please wait”, he mumbled between her kisses. 

“I want you”, she said and let the towel fall so she stood naked in front of him. “I wanted you since ages. So please, don’t shove me away now.”

“Robin... I... I want this as well, but not now. You’re still injured and this is not the time. Hardy is next door.”

Robin moaned frustrated, pulled him closer and kissed him once more.

“This is not fair...”, she mumbled then. “I want to be home with you. Work on all this between us.”

“I want that as well, but we have to solve this case before that. Now go and get dressed love or I’ll change my mind and we’ll be even more late”, he mumbled in a rough voice before once more kissing her. “You’re a very beautiful woman and this isn’t very easy for me. But please, not now.”

“Later”, she agreed and shoved the lust in her body away. 

She wasn’t ashamed anymore, that he saw her naked. She was his and he was hers. He gave her some privacy while she dressed and put on some make up. He helped her into the sling and kissed her quickly.

“You look lovely dear. Now let’s go or we’ll be late."

Robin had opted on a blue-white dress with a V-neck and a slight beige blazer over it. She looked stunning like usual. They both emerged from the bathroom and she blushed heavily at the look Hardacre gave them. They got into their coats and together left the hotel. Press was still there and kept questioning them but this time Strike was by her side.

“Mr Strike, how did you react to the news that Mr Cunliffe gets married again?”

“Mr Strike, how’s your honeymoon so far?”

“When did you two get married?”

“Why don’t you wear any rings?”

“How’s the case going?”

“When did you two make this official?”

Strike held her tight and had an arm around her waist while guiding her to Hardy’s car. He softly shoved her into the back of the car and quickly Hardy got going. 

“Matthew re-married?”, Strike then asked and could see that this wasn’t new to hear for her. “You knew?”, he asked silently.

“I didn’t. The journalists told me when I got back earlier today”, she confessed silently, so Hardy wouldn’t hear them.

“I’m sorry love.”   
“No, it’s fine. All this is over. I don’t care what he does anymore.”

He was happy that she said this. It showed that she didn’t lie about her feelings for him. He kissed her temple and looked outside while Hardy asked him something about the journalists.

“Why would they think you’re married?”, his friend wanted to know.

“I don’t know”, Strike confessed. “Probably some rumours like usual.”

He held her hand in his and Robin stayed silent during the ride to Hardy’s home. The streets where slippery and it had started snowing so he was driving way slower than usual. Strike was way too silent as well. He thought about what the journalists and Hardy had said. Why did the journalists suspect them to be married? He had thought about it at some point, of course he had. He had been engaged to Charlotte, thought about asking Elin at some point but then there had always been the feeling that it felt wrong. With Robin it wouldn’t feel wrong. With Robin, everything felt right. He looked over to her and watched his partner while she looked out of the window. He was happy he had finally agreed to this. It was right being with her. An hour later, the snow storm got heavier by the minute, they arrived at the beautiful little cottage. 

“I love your house”, Robin confessed when they got out of the car.

“My wife does as well”, Hardy said. “She saw it all those years ago and immediately fell in love.”

Strike guided her to the house. She wore way too high shoes for this weather so he held her tight while Hardacre guided them inside. Immediately Elizabeth was by their side and greeted them.

“It’s so good to see you two again”, she said and hugged Strike and greeted the young woman with a kiss on the cheek. “Oh dear, how did this happen love?”

“Oh, a small accident. But it’s better already”, Robin said when Elizabeth gestured to her sling.

Hardy hung up their coats before they all headed to the living room and he poured them some drinks. He handed Robin a glass of Whiskey but Strike took it from her.

“Not you”, he mumbled. “You’re still on pain medication.”

“Oh..”, Hardy said and smiled. “Sorry I forgot about it.”

Instead Elizabeth got her a glass of water and Strike laughed at her displeased face. He leaned over and whispered into her ear.

“More for me.” 

Playfully she hit him on the arm and he kissed her quickly. Elizabeth and Hardy where both pleased to see him and Robin so happy. 

“So this is finally official between you two?”, Elizabeth asked smiling.

Robin blushed heavily and Strike nodded while he took her hand.

“It is”, he confirmed. 

“I’m really happy for both of you”, Hardy said as well and they clinked glasses before talking for a while and then had a fantastic dinner. 

Afterwards Robin helped Elizabeth to clear the table as best as she could while Strike headed to smoke and Hardacre joined him. 

“You thought about it, didn’t you?”

“About what?”, Strike asked and lit up his cigarette.

“About marrying her? I saw your look in the car. You actually thought about it.”

“No. I didn’t”, he lied easily. 

He didn’t want to discuss this with his friend. It was nothing he wanted to do and he just got together with her so it would be inappropriate discussing everything like this. Instead they discussed the case. 

“Jeez, the weather is getting more and more horrible”, Hardy said and tossed his cigarette away. “Will you two stay overnight? Driving isn’t very fun and you would have a night away from the press.”

“I’m sure Robin would love to stay.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll ask Elizabeth to get a room ready.”

Hardy stepped inside while Strike smoked another cigarette and thought about it. Hardy was right. They needed the time away from the press. It would do them good. When he stepped inside again, Robin was in the living room and smiled at him. She stepped closer and let her hand glide through his hair. He had snow in it. Robin laughed and he pulled her closer.

“Hardy asked if we wanted to stay. I agreed. The weather is horrible.”

“Alright”, she mumbled and blushed. 

“Oggy!”, came the voice of Hardy and he let her go because he could feel that she was uncomfortable doing this in the presence of his friend. “Oggy, Elizabeth wants to know if you two are up for a dessert.”

“Dessert is always good”, Strike said and the two followed Hardy into the dining room to have some. 

Elizabeth had prepared some delicious puddings and small cakes. Afterwards Hardy and Strike once more started to discuss the case while Robin sank on the sofa. Her arm hurt and she was tired. Elizabeth was working in the kitchen and after a while Eobin fell asleep where Hardy’s wife found her. She smiled at the young woman and headed to the office. She was happy that Cormoran and Robin had finally found each other and seemed to be happy. She knocked at the office door where she found the two men, drinking and talking.

“What could you two possibly talk about all those hours?”, she asked and stepped to them. “Robin fell asleep on the sofa. She seems exhausted.”

“It’s been a long and quite eventful week for her. I think we should head to bed as well. It’s late”, Strike then said and got up. “Thanks for letting us stay and for the brilliant dinner. Goodnight.”

They said goodnight as well before he made his way to the living room where Robin was asleep on the sofa. Happily, he looked down at her. Gosh he still couldn’t believe that this beautiful woman was finally his. Carefully not to hurt her, Cormoran picked her up and got her upstairs. She was way too light, she needed to eat properly. On his way up she slightly woke up in his arms.

“Cormoran”, she mumbled and smilingly leaned her head against his broad frame.   
“Sleep love. I’ll get you into bed.”

He kissed her forehead and took the familiar way to the guest room. Robin was still slightly awake.

“Why aren’t we home?”

“Hardy offered us to stay, do you remember?”

“Oh yes”, she mumbled and then started giggling.

He stood in the guest room and confused looked at her.

“What’s so funny?”, he asked her. 

“Your taking me to bed”, she mumbled and he could see what she meant and laughed as well.

“Not in this sense but I can see what’s so funny.”

He stepped to the bed, let her down and laid her into the soft cushions. Strike slipped out of his jacket while she watched him, wide awake again. 

“You should sleep love, it’s late and it’s been an exhausting week.”

“I'm not tired anymore”, she said and watched him carefully. 

He laughed when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Hardy and Elizabeth where heading to bed as well. Strike started to unbutton his shirt when Robin got up and stepped to him.

“Let me”, she mumbled and he obeyed. 

Robin started unbuttoning his shirt. Every time she opened a button, she kissed his chest and let her fingers slide over it. She put it away after a few minutes and just looked at him. 

“Isabelle told me that he wanted to start completely new with her”, she then said unexpectedly. “I want that as well. Start new when we come back. The past months where quite a mess. All that’s going on between us... I want to put everything behind us. All mistakes, all that had been said.”

“I want that as well”, he agreed. “I’m so sorry about everything I did. I nearly killed you with shoving you away.”

“It’s fine. Let’s get to bed. It’s been a long day”, she said, fully knowing that he wouldn’t give in.

He helped her undress and both headed to bed.

“You know, I don’t think he did it”, Robin then said. 

“Who?”

“Ross. I don’t think he killed Gordon.”

“Why’s that?”, he mumbled at her ear while he had slung an arm around her.

“I told you. He and Isabelle wanted to start a new life together. He’s involved but I don’t think he would throw all this away to get his revenge at Gordon. Someone else did.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Did the young woman say something else? Where was he that night?”

“She doesn’t know... Oh, I found something about the French guy. Leclair. He was married when he was young. His wife was a young girl from the Provence. She died giving birth. That was nearly 28 years ago. Friends of his said, he never got over it. No one knows what happened to the child though. There’s no birth certificate, no official document about schools or stuff like this. After the death of his wife, he moved to Paris and got very successful with his company. The French Police also tried to get to him because of some illegal transactions and some involvement with the local mafia. Never had any proof though.”

He turned her around and stunned looked at her.

“How did you find all this out in such a short time?”

“I had some help”, she confessed and blushed.

He had popped up on an arm and looked - in the dim light of the bedside lamp – down at her. She was so beautiful and intelligent and finally his. Softly he leaned down and kissed her. 

“I’m so happy that you’re my partner. In so many ways.”

She let her hands slide over the stubbles on his cheek and smiled. He wore nothing except his boxer shorts. Robin wore his t-shirt and her panties. He lay beside her and his body was warm and strong when she now let her hands slide over his chest up and down. She smiled.

“What do you think this means though? There’s something wrong with this guy. I don’t have a good feeling Cormoran.”

“I don’t know what this means. Could mean that the baby died or that it got adopted. I don’t know. But we should investigate further.”

“I’ll check it out tomorrow”, she promised. 

He still looked down at her and put a strand of hair back behind her ear before he once more kissed her and then lay down again. After a while both of them fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It was late when Robin woke up. Irritated she looked where he was until she remembered. Hardacre’s house. She turned but Strike was gone. 

“Cormoran?”, she asked while sitting up and looked around for him.

She heard water running in the bathroom nearby. Maybe he took a shower. She lay down again and looked outside the window where it was still snowing and thought about the life she could have with Cormoran when they would be back. They could have something like this. Discussing cases, waking up and falling asleep beside each other. She could hear him come inside and turned around again.

“Goodmorning love”, he said, kissed her and sat beside her on the bed. “Slept well?”

“Yes, but I was kind of disappointed not to wake up beside you.”

“I want to get going. Hardy is leaving soon and I need to look up something so I’m joining him. I want you to stay here. Do some research, get some rest. I’ll be back tonight.”

“Please take me with you.”

“No, not today. Please rest love. I’ll be back soon.”

He quickly kissed her and dressed before he left the house with Hardacre. Robin didn’t understand why she had to stay, but she obeyed. Instead she got up, took a long shower and headed downstairs where she found Elizabeth in the kitchen. 

“Good morning Robin.”

“Good morning. I... can you help me with this thing?”, she asked and showed her the sling.

“Of course, love”, she said and did as the young woman had asked her. “Want some breakfast?”

“Sounds brilliant.”

The two women had some breakfast and talked for quite a while. 

“I still can’t believe this is official. I’m so happy you two found each other. I would never have thought, after the whole thing with Charlotte, that he’d fall for someone this hard again. He’s a good guy Robin. Never doubt his love.”

“What exactly did happen with Charlotte?”, she asked carefully.

“She was his Juliette, his kryptonite, his big love. He would have done everything for her. He would have died for her. But it shouldn’t be. It was an on-off-thing between them for many years. He was together with her when he joined the army. She didn’t treat him well but he never let go of her. The fights they had where heart-breaking and rough but when they make up again, it was pretty much as if they met for the first time again. But his proposal. Oh gosh, you should have seen that. He saved his money for months to buy her the perfect ring, take her to dinner and have a romantic stroll through the snowy streets of London. And when he found out that she was pregnant, he seemed quite excited but also nervous.”

Robin chocked on her tea and spit some of it out. What? He never had told her anything about it. She excused herself and took a napkin to get rid of the tea she had spilled.

“You didn’t know anything of this, did you?”

“No, I had no idea that it was like this.”

“Don’t think something wrong love. He truly loved her and it took a few years until he was over her but you are special. You are the one that’s good for him. The one that truly loves him. Charlotte never did that. She was selfish.”

Robin was still in shock to find out that he had become a father when her ringing mobile phone interrupted her thoughts and their conversation. She excused herself and headed to the living room to take the call.

“Ellacott.”

“Mrs Ellacott. I want you to listen carefully”, said the dark and threatening voice of a man at the other end. “This is important for all of us so do exactly as I tell you.”

“Who are you?”

“No questions or something horrible will happen.”

Robin stayed silent and listened to the voice.

“I want you to break up with Strike. Tell him that you don’t love him. Tell him whatever you have to get rid of him. The army wants him back. Influence his decision so he will take their offer and leave him alone. If you don’t do this, we can assure you, that this will have consequences for you.”

“But he won’t listen”, Robin said afraid now. 

“I don’t care how you do it, just do it! Oh and the case. Distract him from the case. He can never solve this one...”

“But how?”

“I don’t care!”, the man shouted now. “Do it and you’ll be rewarded. Fail and you’ll feel the consequences. Vanish from his life and get this done.”

The man hung up and left her startled at the end of the line. What was this?

“Robin love, is everything alright?”

Elizabeth stepped to her and smiled quite concerned. Robin tried not to let her see what was going on.

“Sure... Just some information because of the case”, the young woman mumbled and hurriedly dialled the phone number of the young solder to pick her up and drive her back to Edinburgh. Elizabeth left her alone again so she could phone. Within a few seconds the soldier picked up and promised to got to her within the next hour. Meanwhile she thought about who could have called. Who did threaten her? Like promised, about an hour later, she got picked up by the young soldier. Elizabeth was surprised for her to leave.

“But I thought you’d stay?”

“I’ve some business to deal with. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Thank you so much for your hospitality and the delicious food”, Robin thanked her, quickly hugged the older woman and left. The soldier was quite pleased to see her and brought her to the city where she headed to their hotel. Strike wasn’t here so she headed up to the castle. Her phone rang once more.

“Ellacott”, she picked up in a shaking voice while the young soldier drove through the tunnel.

“I told you to vanish, yet you’re heading to him. Stupid Ms Ellacott, stupid.”

“But I wanted to do it!”, she contradicted. “I really did. Please give me some time!”, she said half crying now. 

“Alright. You got an hour...”

She looked at her watch. It was nearly midday. The man had hung up and they arrived. She dried her tears and the young soldier watched her curiously through the rear-view mirror.

“Everything alright Miss?”

“Yes... Would you wait here? Please. This won’t take long..”

“Sure.”

She got out of the car and after a bit of convincing of the two soldiers guarding the entrance, she got inside. The soldiers curiously looked at her and wolf whistled behind her back. She felt uncomfortable and watched. Hurriedly she tried to find Strike. Robin had no idea what to do or say that they’d break up. She had no clue how she could do what the stranger want her to do. She didn’t find him in Hardy’s office so she made her way downstairs to the Investigaton rooms where she finally found him. She stormed inside the room where Hardy sat.

“Robin”, he was quite stunned to see her. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to him”, she said breathless and scampered. 

“He’s right in an investigation. You can’t.”

She looked through the glass and saw, that he was currently talking to the French man. Robin knew that he’d never forgive her this but hurried to the other room and stormed inside. She was already crying through all the pressure so she looked like a complete and insane mess when she hurried into the other room. Hardy shouted her name and wanted to grab her arm but she quickly opened the other door and stepped in. 

“I told you I don’t want to be disturbed!”, Strike said grumpy before he turned around and saw her like this. “Robin? What are you doing here?”

She just hesitated for a second before she stepped closer and slapped him. Hardy stood behind her and after a while pulled her away from Strike who looked startled at her. What was going on? She shouted something at him. Something about Charlotte and that he had lied to her. Strike didn’t understand what was going on. A few hours ago, everything had been fine and what was she doing here anyway? He gestured Hardy to let go of her.

“I never want to see you again!”, she then shouted in tears and left again.

“What the fuck?”, he mumbled and hurried after his partner. “Robin!”

She ignored him shouting after her and quickly hurried upstairs and to the exit. Strike didn’t intent to let her go so he gestured the two men at the exit to grab her and they did. 

“Let me go!”, she said desperate and crying while he got closer. “Please let me go.”

“Thanks”, he thanked the two soldiers who happily grinned at him before he took her arm and pulled her up and into Hardy’s office where they were alone.

“What the fuck is going on Robin?”

She was still crying. She had to go. The man had told her so himself or something bad would happen. Robin couldn’t face him. She had to get through with this. 

“You’re coming here against what I had told you, interrupting an interview of highly importance and react like this. Something is wrong here, please talk to me.”

She shook her head and started hitting his chest when he came closer to hug her. She was desperate. He had never seen her like this and he could feel that something was wrong. What had happened when he had left and why had he shouted at him about Charlotte? After a bit she got calmer and he pulled her closer to hug her. 

“It’s fine. I’m here. Talk to me love.”

“I don’t want to you see again. Let go of me!”, she said again but he didn’t. “Let go!”

She shoved against his strong chest when Hardacre stepped inside. 

“What the fuck is going on here?”, the other man asked stunned as well when they heard a deafening noise and Strike pulling her down to the ground.

“Hardy!”, he shouted when a second sound ripped the silence of the office. 

She could see the Lieutenant going down, blood on the floor and all over his chest. Strike let go of her and crawled to his friend. Oh no, Robin thought and realized what had happened. Her phone rang and like in trance, she answered the call. 

“I told you something bad would happen if you didn’t make it. Now you have to live with this.”

“We need an ambulance!”, Strike shouted through the opened door into the hallway where he could hear screaming and soldiers running. “Robin you alright?”, he then asked her and could see how pale she had gotten after she had taken the call.

“I’m so sorry Cormoran”, she mumbled in tears. “All this is my fault.”

What was she talking about? What was going on? And where was this goddamn ambulance? He pressed against the wound to stop the bleeding and shouted for someone to help him. Hardy couldn’t die, not now after all that had happened...


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some more clues and Strike finally understands the connection between the people involved.. they can probably head home soon and solve this, can they?

It was late at night when Strike retuned from the hospital. His hands and clothes where still bloody. He was angry and confused when he made his way through the press and upstairs to their hotel room. The young soldier sat at the sofa and watched Robin carefully who was sitting on the bed. She looked exhausted and her face was tear stained.

“Leave us alone", he ordered and the young soldier obeyed.

“Cormoran please let me go”, she mumbled. “You don't understand.”

He poured himself a drink, slipped out of his coat and sat in an armchair from where he scrutinized her carefully.

“Then tell me. Explain what I don’t understand. Why did you suddenly want to leave? Why did you try to run away and more important why did you blame yourself that Hardy got shot? Who called you afterwards?”

“I can't tell you", she said. 

“Talk to me Robin", he demanded. 

“They'll kill someone else when I do.”

“Hardy’s not dead. He'll survive. Please. We made it this far, so don’t give up on us now.”

She looked down at her hands and shook her head. What if they were watched? She couldn’t risk it. Strike tossed down his drink and tried to calm down when he sat beside her and took her hand in his. Even though they were still covered in blood, she didn’t pull hers away. 

“Tell me love. I’m sure we can fix it together. Trust me.”

She looked into his eyes and then got up. Still his hands in hers, she pulled him into the bathroom, turned on the water of the sower and pulled him under it. Soon they were soaked and he just held her in his arms.

“What is it love?”

“I don’t want anyone to listen to this...”, she mumbled. 

“I'm sure no one can with this. Tell me Robin, please.”

“When I was at Hardacre’s place I got a call that they wanted you back and I should leave you and shove you away so you’d go back and join the army. The man threatened that something horrible would happen if I didn’t do it. So I got here and tried to convince you that it was over. They gave me one hour and when the hour was up and I didn’t succeed, they shot Hardy and the man called and promised something else like this would happen if I failed again”, she explained under a steam of tears. “I’m so sorry Cormoran. I was just worried that something would happen to you. I had no idea that they’d shoot Hardacre.”

He held her tight and kissed her hair while she cried and the water was pouring over them. 

“We’ll solve this.”

“And they wanted me to distract you from the case”, she said. “I think they’re involved with this.”

“We solve this and then we’ll go home. I promise.”

After a while they made their way out and changed into some dry clothes. Cormoran then made some calls. He got some loyal friends of Hardy and from his time at the Army to look after his wife and his friend so no one could harm them. Then he sat down and together they got through all notes and files to find a clue. 

“Here”, she said when the sun was already about to rise. “They talked about making Leclair to the main weapon deliverer for the Army. I found pictures of a temporary contract.”

Robin showed him the pictures. Was this the clue they had been looking for? 

“There’s also mentioned, that he’ll get a property here to build one of his factories for quicker supplies”, Strike said after quickly reading through the contract. 

“But this property is supposed to be given from the church to the city to build a children’s home and orphanage”, Robin said and stood up to get the papers from a few days back to show him. 

Strike read through the article and sank deep into his thoughts. So Ross was about to get married with Isabelle Gray who had an accident. Jonathan Gordan was the driver of the car that hit her and worked in the Defence Ministry. Christopher Tally was just a friend of Ross’ and thought that his friend was capable of killing Grodon. Mark Stevens got killed at the dinner as well and was a simple soldier, so how did he fit into all this? Also, Richard Leclair, the French guy who produced weapons. He surely did talk with Gordon about the contract between the Army and his company. That would at least explain why the French guys DNA was at the crime scene. Then there was the fact that – according to the papers – the property they discussed that night, was to be used for the town and local purposes. All this didn’t seem to fit into the picture at all. 

“What else do we know?”

“We know Leclair’s past, we know that Ross wasn’t at the crime scene of Gordon’s murder. Forensics didn’t find any other DNA, but then Isabelle said she didn’t know where he was that night”, Robin answered. 

“He could have worn gloves or he simply didn’t touch anything. And Isabelle, she could have lied.”

“I don’t think she did”, Robin said genuine. 

“But what’s the thing we’re missing then?”, he said frustrated.

He was tired, his leg hurt and he was stuck. All this seemed like a puzzle they haven’t fixed even a part of yet. What was he missing? What was the clue they needed to go on and finally solve this? He wanted to talk to Isabelle. Maybe he would find out a bit more.

Robin looked at the watch by the bed. It was nearly 7.30am and finally got a bit brighter outside. She could see how tired and frustrated Cormoran was. He let his hand slide through his already ruffled curls and sat back in his armchair. She hesitated for a moment, but then she let her hand slide over his cheek and through his hair before kissing him softly.

“You should get some rest. You can’t go on like this.” 

“It’s fine, I just need a quick shower and some coffee”, he mumbled and stood up where he headed to the window, opened it fully and lit up a cigarette.

Robin smiled at him and made them a cup of coffee while he vanished into the bathroom. Half an hour later he returned and watched her while she read through some notes, cup in hand and deep in her thoughts. 

“What if both where there that night?”, she mumbled. “Leclair and Ross? What if they were both at Grodon’s place when he was murdered. What if they knew each other?”

“But how?”

Robin had no clue. He took her cup and sipped from it while pulling her closer. Robin rested her hands on his chest and waited. 

“I’ll go and see Isabelle, maybe I’ll get some new information. I also want to meet her, maybe she knows more than she’s telling us.”

“Shall I come?”

“No, get some rest, you look tired”, he said and clearly saw the dark circles under her eyes. “I’ll text you if I need anything.”

“Alright. I’ll do some more research then.”

 He quickly drank the rest of the coffee, kissed Robin and left her. He lit up another cigarette while walking down the street to Isabelle Gray’s place. It was a nice house at the border of the city and a limousine was parked in front of it. He knocked and a young woman opened him.

“How can I help you Sir?”, she asked while he heard someone shouting inside the house.

“I’m here to see Miss Gray.”

“She’s busy at the moment, but come in. You can wait by a cup of tea”, she said and smiled.

“Thank you”, he said and stepped inside while she got him to the kitchen and prepared him a cup. 

“This is insane!”, Isabelle shouted. “Why did you do it?”

“I wanted to protect you!”

He knew the voice of the man. It was Richard Leclair but what did he do here? Had he just admitted that he killed Gordon? No, he wouldn’t be that stupid. He stayed where he was and listened carefully but they suddenly lowered their voices and a minute later Leclair left.

“You can go to her now if you like”, the other woman said and he did. 

“Miss Gray”, he said when he entered the living room where the young woman sat in her wheelchair by the terrace door. “Excuse me for just coming around.”

She turned and looked at him, tears in her eyes. He stood by the door and waited.

“I’m sorry this is not a good moment”, she said and he nodded. 

“I’m truly sorry Miss, but I need to talk to you. My partner, Miss Ellacott was here yesterday.”

“Oh yes... I remember her. Nice young woman. How can I help you Mister...?”

“Strike, Cormoran Strike”, he then introduced himself and they shook hands. 

“Please, sit down”, she said and he did.

“I presume you know why I’m here.”

“Gordon’s murder.”

“Your fiancé is our current number one suspect. I guess you know that as well.” She nodded. “My partner told me you’re sure he didn’t do it.”

“He didn’t”, she said still very sure about it. 

“Why are you so sure? Please tell me. If I know that he’s innocent, I can find the real murderer.”

“I can’t tell you where he was. I don’t know and I already told your partner.”

“You’re not making this very easy for us”, he said and smiled while she stayed silent.

Strike decided to go all in and asked her about the French-man.

“What did Richard Leclair do at your place? How do you know him and what was this fight about?”

He could see that she startled and got insecure. He knew he had to be careful to not shut her up completely but with a bit of luck he’d get the information he needed. Strike waited for her to finally say something. Isabelle looked at her hands and hesitated.

“He... He’s a friend of my mum’s. We had a little argument about some treatment of mine, that’s all.” Strike could see that she lied. “I’ve some more stuff to do so would you please excuse me”, she said and made her way out, leaving him alone.

He stood up and left a minute later, wandering through the streets deep in his thoughts. What were they fighting about? What connection did they have? He headed back to the hotel when he got a call. He thought it was Robin so he simply took the call.

“Robin?”

“No, not quite Detective”, said an unfamiliar voice of a man at the other end.

“Who are you?”, he asked suspicious.

“I already told your girlfriend, that her failure would have consequences. I’m warning you now. Come back to the Army and nothing bad will happen to anyone of your friends.”

“Why now?”, he simply asked. 

“We’re not pleased with your answer, that’s all.”

“Threatening me and the people I’m close to won’t make it better.”

“We’ll see. I’d get going now Detective. Robin is waiting for you...”, the man laughed and hung up.

He was startled by the call but it was also telling. Someone in the Army was involved. He was sure of it. He hurried back to the hotel, past the journalists and upstairs to their room. 

“Robin?!”, he shouted into the room but she was not there. “Robin?”

He hurried to the bathroom and stormed inside. There she was. Standing under the shower. She turned around. Her look was worried and shocked. What was going on? He felt relieved to see her being here, unharmed, just taking a shower. She stepped out and grabbed a towel before she stepped to him. He looked pale and shaken. Robin stepped to him, she could feel that something was wrong.

“Are you alright?”

Without thinking he just hugged her, happy for her to be alright. This started getting dangerous, he had to solve his as soon as he could. 

“Cormoran, what is wrong?”

“Nothing...”, he mumbled and let go of her. 

She started giggling when she looked at his shirt. Completely wet from where he had hugged her. He smiled not to upset her anymore and then left to give her some privacy. Instead he quickly dressed into a dry shirt and wanted to leave again when Robin emerged from the bathroom. 

“Where are you going?”

“I think I know how all these people are connected. I need to see Hardy. Stay here and lock the door.”

Without another word he was off again and made his way to the hospital and the ICU. Some soldiers stood watch in front of Hardacre’s room but without hesitation they let him in. His friend was awake. 

“Oggy! I wondered when you’d show up”, he said and smiled a little while Strike stepped to him. 

“How are you feeling mate?”

“Shot”, he joked and both laughed. 

“I think I know the connection between our suspects.”

“Tell me about it”, Hardy said while Strike sat beside him.

“We found out that Richard Leclair had a wife and daughter a long time ago. His wife died while giving birth and we don’t know what happened to the baby. There’s no record of it. No record of any of this. We have some confirmation from the French police, that he was involved with the local mafia but no one could prove it. Robin talked to Isabelle Gray yesterday and I did today. She said us she didn’t know where Ross was the night when Gordon got killed. When I was at her place, Leclair was there as well. They had an argument. I think he’s her father. Isabelle is the daughter that got lost. That would explain the rest of this. She got in a wheelchair because of Gordon. Ross wants revenge but learns to live with it because of a new start with his girlfriend. Leclair though, I’m sure he wants revenge as well. His only daughter got crippled for life, everything she wished for was destroyed by a drunken driver. But then he worked in the Defence Ministry, a good opportunity for Leclair to solve his business first before killing him for what he did.”

“That sounds all quite logical, but what about Stevens?”

“Collateral damage. He investigated against Gordon and Stewart.”

“General Stewart?”

“I think he’s involved in this as well. Since I talked to him about your offer and that I wouldn’t return to the Army all this started. Robin got threatening calls that if she wouldn’t leave me and I’d return, something bad would happen. You got shot. I received a call like this as well about an hour ago.”

“But why would he do that? He’s a highly ranked officer with a good reputation. Why would he be involved in all this?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll find out”, Hardy said. “How’s Elizabeth. Is she well?”

“She’s fine. I got some old mates to look after her.”

“I’m glad you did. Thanks Oggy.”

“I’ll go and head back now. I need to find the last pieces of the puzzle and some evidence so we can finally end this”, Strike said.

“Keep me informed, will ya?”

“Will do”, Strike promised and left the hospital again. 

Robin had no clue what was going on. He had seemed very worried and at edge. She dressed, not able to get into this stupid sling so she let it be, and started with her research again. She wanted to go home like he had said. She was just making a cup of tea when Strike returned. He looked still worried but quite in a good mood. What had happened?

“You should wear the sling”, he immediately said after he had slipped out of his coat. 

“I can’t get into it alone”, she said frustrated about this and he helped her in. “You seem in quite a good mood compared to earlier.”

He just fastened the sling and smiled at her. He was. This would soon be over, he was sure of it.

“I think we can go home soon.”

“So? Why’s that?”

He told her what he had found out and Robin listened carefully. 

“But that’s... You really sure?” He nodded. “So we just have to find out the connection between Stewart and probably Leclair.”

“Exactly”, Strike confirmed and they both started with their research again. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to have you made to wait this long... My writing's a mess at the moment and I simply am out of ideas so please forgive me but I truly hope you enjoy this small chapter tho. :)

 

It was late and Robin was asleep on the sofa while Strike tried to put the last pieces together.  After a while, s atisfied with what he found,  the Detectiv e closed his notebook and sat back looking at his partner. They had done it. They had solved this together despite different problems and influences to stop them. He’d call Hardy in the morning and tell them their results but for now he wanted nothing more than to hold Robin in his arms and wake up again beside her. He opened the window and lit up a cigarette while he poured himself a drink. He saw a  h o o ded figure on the streets and watched it carefully. He knew that these people were watching them. He had received some more calls during their research but had ignored them. He had felt how nervous Robin had been the whole day. He was happy that this would be over soon and he could bring her home. His phone rang and he quickly picked up so Robin wouldn’t wake up.

“Strike.”

“I presume you solved the case by now and you know that we won't let you  share  this information  with  the world.”

“Yeah I thought you wouldn't. What do you wan t?”

“Get downstairs and into the waiting car and  nothing will happen to your partner.”

He ended the call and obeyed. He quickly left a note for Robin and hid his notebook under some clothes, grabbed his coat and was off. Outside was a car waiting for him, he got into. The driver was no other than the young soldier that had drove them during their investigations. He stayed silent during their ride and carefully tried to remember where they were going. They drove to an old and deserted building outside the city when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Robin. He ignored the call and turned it off.  A few minutes later they stopped by an old and  mouldering  building. Strike got out and the soldier got him upstairs into an old office. Some of the small windows  were  shattered and missing, the rest were dirty and just showed a blurry and grey  image of the world outside. There was a big steal desk in  front  of the windows and  an  old battered chair  where a man was sitting, facing the window. 

“I’m glad you showed  Sergeant  Strike”, the voice said and he immediately recognised it as the one from the phone. “I’ll have a proposition for you.”

“You mean you’ll threaten me ”, he calmly corrected the other man’s statement and he finally turned around to face him.

“No, he means a proposition”, another familiar voice said from a dark corner and  another man stepped  closer. Stewart. Strike carefully watched the other man come closer and waited.

“We still want the same thing as from the beginning. We want you to come back.”

“We were patient for quite a while now but things have to move on. We want you to join us once more. Only you  will  agree this time ”, the man in the chair said.

“What makes you so sure?”, Strike said calmly.

“We’ve out methods. For example, we won’t harm Miss  Ellacott  if you say yes.”

The man took a remote and a few feet away a big screen lit up and showed a picture of Robin in their hotel room. A few seconds later he realised that it was a live video. Robin took her phone and  dialled  a number but took it away after a few seconds. He watched how it knocked and Robin stepped to the door.

“One of our men is in front of the door... I guess you can imagine what will happen when she lets him in, every moment. Do you want that? If  not,  you’ll agree.”

“Leave her out of this!”, he said, quite angry now.

It knocked again and quickly Robin grabbed a bathrobe and slipped in to  it before opening. It was impossible to see the man in front of the door but he could see that the man in front of him wasn’t lying. The man smiled.

“ So  you agree?” Strike nodded and he could see that  Stewart  put out a phone and called off the man in the hotel. “Brilliant! So it’s settled then.”

He switched off the screen and handed Strike a key and a new key card. Hateful and angry  the Detective  looked at the two men. 

“We’ll organise to get all your stuff into the new house. It’ll be a clean cut.”

“I want to see her”, Strike demanded. “I want to say properly goodbye.”

“I think there’s nothing to say against it”, Stewart said quite pleased with the outcome.

“Alright. We expect you to come afterwards. Take your time and sort things, but don’t try to trick us, it won’t work.”

Strike nodded and left them. The young soldier got him back to the hotel where he  directly  headed upstairs, very well aware of the other soldier watching him from the bar. He got into their room and immediately Robin was by his side and hugged him. 

“I was so worried!”, she mumbled at his shoulder. “You didn’t answer your phone.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

It hurt him but they knew that the others would probably watch him so he shoved her away and headed to the wardrobe. He started packing and Robin simply watched. 

“What are you doing?”, she asked concerned.

“I took the offer of the SIB. I’m going back.”

She felt as if he had  slapped her. Her world started to  spin and she felt alone. What happened? Why was he doing this? 

“ Cormoran  why are you doing this? You said you’d never leave and that we could solve this together.” Against her intentions she started to cry. “You lied”, she mumbled. 

It hurt him but he knew that he couldn’t do anything at the moment. They had to believe that he would leave. 

“I love you Robin. But we both know this won’t work. This is a generous offer and I want to start new after all this. You can have the office and I promise I'll never bother you again.”

“But I don’t want this... I don’t want the office. I just want you. You promised”, she mumbled.

He turned to her and kissed her softly while wiping her tears away with his thumb.

“I love you. I truly do.”

“Then don’t leave me.” His kiss got more heated and he pulled her closer while she fumbled at his shirt and got rid of his coat. “Sleep with me”, Robin mumbled unexpectedly.

“I can’t...”

“Please.”

This was the perfect disguise. He could use it to tell her. While he still hesitated, Robin pulled off his shirt and shoved him to the bathroom. 

“Shower with me...”

Perfect! He nodded and let her guide him to the bathroom and started undressing. Her hands were insistent and he was weak but then he remembered the task at hand. He stopped her while opening the tabs of the shower. 

“Robin  stop p !”, he mumbled and held her hands. 

“What?”

“I don’t want to leave, I... They threatened to harm you if I don’t agree. The soldier who was there before, he would have done it if I didn’t agree. I’m so sorry love.”

For a while Robin stayed silent and tried to process what he just had said. He wasn’t leaving her. He was doing all this to keep her safe. 

“What can we do?” , she mumbled and looked concerned at him.

“You have to do it. I can’t let them see what’s going on. You need to get to Hardy and we have to stop these lunatics. He’ll know what to do.” Robin cried and Strike soothed her once more. “Sch... We can do this. You just have to trust me.”

“I do. You know I do.”

He softly kissed her and held her tight.

“What do we do now?”, she asked.

“We have to play along. They are watching.”

“I...” She startled. “I can’t... I’m sorry.”

He chuckled slightly. 

“That’s not what I meant love. We won’t do this. Especially not in front of them.” Robin blushed. “We have to make them believe  that we break up . But since I know how good you are in your roles at work, I guess you can manage to make them believe you  are  devastated .” She  nodd ed and he kissed her once more. “Will you do this with me? I know I ask a lot but...”

“I will”, she mumbled.


End file.
